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Ask Aunty Thaed!

  • 16-12-2009 04:47PM
    #1
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭


    Because the Nocturnal one was such a success, and because I'm trying to get into Beruthiel's good books again (Jesus, one Blue Nun joke and you pay for it the rest of your life!), we bring unto you, the filthy unwashed ignorant masses, a special guest.

    A woman who brings new meaning to the phrase "Agony Aunt".
    She has a kick that scares both Chuck Norris AND David Hasslehoff.
    Fanatical bloodthirsty devotee to the Great Old Ones and loving mother.

    Thaed!

    I'll start. So, Thaed:

    *How do you feel about novelty toilet paper with jokes on the sheets- Amusing conversation starter, or pointless waste of time?

    *Do you still have the pound of flesh you gouged out of my back at that boards beers in 2005 or thereabouts?

    *Would you ever consider french-kissing Anne Doyle?


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Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Thaed,

    Do you think it acceptable for me to abuse my powers and exact revenge however I see fit at this stage?


    I <3 Sarky.


  • #3
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Sarky wrote: »
    *How do you feel about novelty toilet paper with jokes on the sheets- Amusing conversation starter, or pointless waste of time?

    If you use such stuff you deserve to get anus cancer from the toxic ink on the paper. Asscancer is always funny.
    Sarky wrote: »
    *Do you still have the pound of flesh you gouged out of my back at that boards beers in 2005 or thereabouts?

    No I used it go grow several homunculi, some of which were conditioned to serve in various ways and some were shipped to Germany and Canada and one had the great honor of replacing the original Sarky after he went of with Hastur. That one was rather ill for a while until I arranged for the last surgery to marry in the pituitary gland from a yeti and the adrenal glands of a walrus.

    This may mean that the replacement Sarky will become more fuller figured and hirsute but I think it will turn out well enough in the end.
    Sarky wrote: »
    *Would you ever consider french-kissing Anne Doyle?

    I never rule anything out as a rule as one may never know what one may have to endure for noble reasons, glorious goals and to further SCIENCE!


  • #4
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Beruthiel wrote: »
    Thaed,

    Do you think it acceptable for me to abuse my powers and exact revenge however I see fit at this stage?

    Exact revenge on moi?

    But all I have done is love and adore you and make it possible for more to do like wise, how can you have forgotten my tribute to you in the feedback forum?


  • #5
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    Coco pops or Frosties?

    14587.jpg

    Frosties.JPG


  • #6
    Daemos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,645 ✭✭✭Daemos


    Which of the Teletubbies do you think is most likely to go on a homicidal killing spree where he suffocates the others with custard and toast?


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  • #7
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    Coco pops or Frosties?

    Sugar puffs, but really if is all about the honey why aren't the called Honey puffs?


  • #8
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    DaPoolRulz wrote: »
    Which of the Teletubbies do you think is most likely to go on a homicidal killing spree where he suffocates the others with custard and toast?

    Oh dear, you really missed the subplot, they die in horrible various ways which only happen when you are viciously and savagely attacked by a homicidal vacuum cleaner. There is only so much post splodge party play a little domestic robot can clean up with out it jarring something loose, esp as he was never invited to 'play'.


  • #9
    cyberwolf77
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 47,866 Mod ✭✭✭✭cyberwolf77


    Would you commit a murder in defense of your personal beliefs


  • #10
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Depends on what you mean by beliefs.
    As in I belief no one has the right to kill me or mine and I would kill them to stop them
    or do you mean something of a more spiritual/religious nature or personal believes such
    as actual chocolate has 40% coco solids or it's not chocolate and 70% chocolate is the best.


  • #11
    cyberwolf77
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 47,866 Mod ✭✭✭✭cyberwolf77


    I was speaking oif spiritual and religious belief.


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  • #12
    OldGoat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,642 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    Whats the worserst crime, a grammeratical error or a spilling error - and are either a banable offence?

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



  • #13
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    cyberwolf77 wrote: »
    I was speaking oif spiritual and religious belief.

    Are you trying to as me to sacrifice you to my gods?


  • #14
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    OldGoat wrote: »
    Whats the worserst crime, a grammeratical error or a spilling error - and are either a banable offence?

    Anyone who spills a pint of Guinness has committed a heinous crime to be sure,
    and doing so on me will certainly have them banned from my presence.


  • #15
    thebouldwhacker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,565 ✭✭✭thebouldwhacker


    Dear Auntie Thaed

    If the apocalypse comes in the shape of an incurable disease that kills and causes the mutation of humans into flesh eating zombies would you prefer it to be a virus or bacteria? And should it be natural or a human genetic engineering project that went horribly wrong?

    Thanks.

    Yours plotting the end of the world in a user frendly format,
    TBW


  • #16
    cyberwolf77
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 47,866 Mod ✭✭✭✭cyberwolf77


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Are you trying to as me to sacrifice you to my gods?
    No, I'm asking if you would commit a murder in defense of your religious beliefs.


  • #17
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Dear Thaed,

    Should I do my laundry tomorrow, when the bin is only half full, or should I wait until it's full and do one big load?


  • #18
    James T Kirk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,255 ✭✭✭James T Kirk


    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    What is wrong in my life,
    that I must get drunk every night?

    Yours faithfully,
    Johnny


  • #19
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    cyberwolf77 wrote: »
    No, I'm asking if you would commit a murder in defense of your religious beliefs.

    If I was that way inclined I would soooo not post about it on the internet where my i.s.p. and the boards.ie servers and the i.s.p. of any one who read the posts will have and hold a record of it for 10 years never mind google who archive things for ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever!


  • #20
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Sarky wrote: »
    Dear Thaed,

    Should I do my laundry tomorrow, when the bin is only half full, or should I wait until it's full and do one big load?

    hmmmm that depends on if you can restrain yourself and wait for the build up to one big satifiying load, could it be that you having laundry detgerant withdrawl?
    have you been sniffing Bold, bounce and comfort?
    Have Lever Brothers become your suppliers and every supermarket your dealer?

    Please watch this video
    http://current.com/items/90087979_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-laundry.htm

    and if you suffer from any of the issues mention then you should find your local LA, Laundry Anonymous meeting before you get sucked into the cult of worshiping the washing machines and wanting to have sex with them, remember it's not right, having 'sex' with the washing machine is wrong now matter how much it purrs at you during the spin cycle, it's the start of becoming a robot sex addict and doing laundry is the gate way activity.


  • #21
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    James T Kirk wrote: »
    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    What is wrong in my life,
    that I must get drunk every night?

    Yours faithfully,
    Johnny
    PUT


    DOWN



    THE



    GLADIOLA



    TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT AND TAKE OUT THAT SILLY EARING AID WHICH YOU DON'T NEED.

    Thats a lot better, now go out and get laid and stop whinging about it and stop trying to pretend you are Morrisy, really him of all people, that's just looking for notice which is far to twisted and if you keep it up it will be off to the real looney bin with you where those who think they are Napoleon will kick their crap into you.


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  • #22
    Toasty113
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,614 ✭✭✭Toasty113


    Dear Aunt of Agony,

    Ive never been one for questioning the wisdom of musicians, but it occured to me recently while slaughtering a village of people rebelling against my rule, that while the song says "Everybody dance now!", it's probably not always the right thing to do, say if you were at a funeral or balancing on a tight rope over a swedish male orgy.

    What do you think?


  • #23
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    Dear missus wisdomfullness Auntie T.

    What will be my future career?


  • #24
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    Will you marry me?

    Yours Faithfully,

    TT


  • #25
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    ToniTuddle wrote: »
    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    Will you marry me?

    Yours Faithfully,

    TT


    Can I marry you?


  • #26
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Fago_25 wrote: »
    Can I marry you?


    *Dramatic love triangle begins to unfold*


    :eek:


  • #27
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    You mention a word to "You know who" about my proposal, I'll brain ye.


  • #28
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    All over the internet they are Lol-cats pictures. Why is there no equivalent for dogs. I am first and foremostly a dog lover, and are much chagrined by the fact, that there is no equivalent for doggies.

    Is this not a form of animal equality.... that one animal is so revered over another :confused::confused::confused::confused:

    Would you be able to right this inequality Thaedydal

    Thanks

    Q-M


  • #29
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Fago_25 wrote: »
    You mention a word to "You know who" about my proposal, I'll brain ye.

    *Dramatic music*

    *narrows eyes*

    We shall let Aunt Thaed answer my question first whenever auntie returns. Then I shall answer your proposal over PM as do answer it on here would be off topic carry on. And feic that craic.

    *keeps eyes narrowed*


  • #30
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Toasty113 wrote: »
    Dear Aunt of Agony,

    Ive never been one for questioning the wisdom of musicians, but it occured to me recently while slaughtering a village of people rebelling against my rule, that while the song says "Everybody dance now!", it's probably not always the right thing to do, say if you were at a funeral or balancing on a tight rope over a swedish male orgy.

    What do you think?

    You can dance with in your soul rather then phyically, that is if you have a soul. /peers at you
    Fago_25 wrote: »
    Dear missus wisdomfullness Auntie T.

    What will be my future career?

    Well it won't be professionally flatterer.
    Have you investigated if you local town or village has need of a sot?
    ToniTuddle wrote: »
    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    Will you marry me?

    Yours Faithfully,

    TT

    Why should I?
    Queen-Mise wrote: »
    Dear Aunty Thaed,

    All over the internet they are Lol-cats pictures. Why is there no equivalent for dogs. I am first and foremostly a dog lover, and are much chagrined by the fact, that there is no equivalent for doggies.

    Is this not a form of animal equality.... that one animal is so revered over another :confused::confused::confused::confused:

    Would you be able to right this inequality Thaedydal

    Thanks

    Q-M

    Dogs and Cats are different they can never be equal, you need to accept it.


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  • #31
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Why should I?

    Oh well...I never really thought about it deeply.:eek:
    Fago_25 wrote: »
    Can I marry you?

    Now that Aunt Thaed has made me realise I haven't thought this whole marriage thing through....Sorry, won't marry ya!

    Thanks Aunt Thaed.


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