Ask Aunty Thaed!

Sarky

Because the Nocturnal one was such a success, and because I'm trying to get into Beruthiel's good books again (Jesus, one Blue Nun joke and you pay for it the rest of your life!), we bring unto you, the filthy unwashed ignorant masses, a special guest.

A woman who brings new meaning to the phrase "Agony Aunt".
She has a kick that scares both Chuck Norris AND David Hasslehoff.
Fanatical bloodthirsty devotee to the Great Old Ones and loving mother.

Thaed!

I'll start. So, Thaed:

*How do you feel about novelty toilet paper with jokes on the sheets- Amusing conversation starter, or pointless waste of time?

*Do you still have the pound of flesh you gouged out of my back at that boards beers in 2005 or thereabouts?

*Would you ever consider french-kissing Anne Doyle?

Beruthiel

Thaed,

Do you think it acceptable for me to abuse my powers and exact revenge however I see fit at this stage?


I Sarky.

Nevyn

Sarky wrote: »

*How do you feel about novelty toilet paper with jokes on the sheets- Amusing conversation starter, or pointless waste of time?

If you use such stuff you deserve to get anus cancer from the toxic ink on the paper. Asscancer is always funny.

Sarky wrote: »

*Do you still have the pound of flesh you gouged out of my back at that boards beers in 2005 or thereabouts?

No I used it go grow several homunculi, some of which were conditioned to serve in various ways and some were shipped to Germany and Canada and one had the great honor of replacing the original Sarky after he went of with Hastur. That one was rather ill for a while until I arranged for the last surgery to marry in the pituitary gland from a yeti and the adrenal glands of a walrus.

This may mean that the replacement Sarky will become more fuller figured and hirsute but I think it will turn out well enough in the end.

Sarky wrote: »

*Would you ever consider french-kissing Anne Doyle?

I never rule anything out as a rule as one may never know what one may have to endure for noble reasons, glorious goals and to further SCIENCE!

Nevyn

Beruthiel wrote: »

Thaed,

Do you think it acceptable for me to abuse my powers and exact revenge however I see fit at this stage?

Exact revenge on moi?

But all I have done is love and adore you and make it possible for more to do like wise, how can you have forgotten my tribute to you in the feedback forum?

Jesus Wept

Coco pops or Frosties?

Daemos

Which of the Teletubbies do you think is most likely to go on a homicidal killing spree where he suffocates the others with custard and toast?

Nevyn

The-Rigger wrote: »

Coco pops or Frosties?

Sugar puffs, but really if is all about the honey why aren't the called Honey puffs?

Nevyn

DaPoolRulz wrote: »

Which of the Teletubbies do you think is most likely to go on a homicidal killing spree where he suffocates the others with custard and toast?

Oh dear, you really missed the subplot, they die in horrible various ways which only happen when you are viciously and savagely attacked by a homicidal vacuum cleaner. There is only so much post splodge party play a little domestic robot can clean up with out it jarring something loose, esp as he was never invited to 'play'.

cyberwolf77

Would you commit a murder in defense of your personal beliefs

Nevyn

Depends on what you mean by beliefs.
As in I belief no one has the right to kill me or mine and I would kill them to stop them
or do you mean something of a more spiritual/religious nature or personal believes such
as actual chocolate has 40% coco solids or it's not chocolate and 70% chocolate is the best.

cyberwolf77

I was speaking oif spiritual and religious belief.

OldGoat

Whats the worserst crime, a grammeratical error or a spilling error - and are either a banable offence?

Nevyn

cyberwolf77 wrote: »

I was speaking oif spiritual and religious belief.

Are you trying to as me to sacrifice you to my gods?

Nevyn

OldGoat wrote: »

Whats the worserst crime, a grammeratical error or a spilling error - and are either a banable offence?

Anyone who spills a pint of Guinness has committed a heinous crime to be sure,
and doing so on me will certainly have them banned from my presence.

thebouldwhacker

Dear Auntie Thaed

If the apocalypse comes in the shape of an incurable disease that kills and causes the mutation of humans into flesh eating zombies would you prefer it to be a virus or bacteria? And should it be natural or a human genetic engineering project that went horribly wrong?

Thanks.

Yours plotting the end of the world in a user frendly format,
TBW

cyberwolf77

Thaedydal wrote: »

Are you trying to as me to sacrifice you to my gods?

No, I'm asking if you would commit a murder in defense of your religious beliefs.

Sarky

Dear Thaed,

Should I do my laundry tomorrow, when the bin is only half full, or should I wait until it's full and do one big load?

James T Kirk

Dear Aunty Thaed,

What is wrong in my life,
that I must get drunk every night?

Yours faithfully,
Johnny

Nevyn

cyberwolf77 wrote: »

No, I'm asking if you would commit a murder in defense of your religious beliefs.

If I was that way inclined I would soooo not post about it on the internet where my i.s.p. and the boards.ie servers and the i.s.p. of any one who read the posts will have and hold a record of it for 10 years never mind google who archive things for ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever ever and ever and ever!

Nevyn

Sarky wrote: »

Dear Thaed,

Should I do my laundry tomorrow, when the bin is only half full, or should I wait until it's full and do one big load?

hmmmm that depends on if you can restrain yourself and wait for the build up to one big satifiying load, could it be that you having laundry detgerant withdrawl?
have you been sniffing Bold, bounce and comfort?
Have Lever Brothers become your suppliers and every supermarket your dealer?

Please watch this video
http://current.com/items/90087979_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-laundry.htm

and if you suffer from any of the issues mention then you should find your local LA, Laundry Anonymous meeting before you get sucked into the cult of worshiping the washing machines and wanting to have sex with them, remember it's not right, having 'sex' with the washing machine is wrong now matter how much it purrs at you during the spin cycle, it's the start of becoming a robot sex addict and doing laundry is the gate way activity.

Nevyn

James T Kirk wrote: »

Dear Aunty Thaed,

What is wrong in my life,
that I must get drunk every night?

Yours faithfully,
Johnny

PUT


DOWN



THE



GLADIOLA



TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT AND TAKE OUT THAT SILLY EARING AID WHICH YOU DON'T NEED.

Thats a lot better, now go out and get laid and stop whinging about it and stop trying to pretend you are Morrisy, really him of all people, that's just looking for notice which is far to twisted and if you keep it up it will be off to the real looney bin with you where those who think they are Napoleon will kick their crap into you.

Toasty113

Dear Aunt of Agony,

Ive never been one for questioning the wisdom of musicians, but it occured to me recently while slaughtering a village of people rebelling against my rule, that while the song says "Everybody dance now!", it's probably not always the right thing to do, say if you were at a funeral or balancing on a tight rope over a swedish male orgy.

What do you think?

Fago!

Dear missus wisdomfullness Auntie T.

What will be my future career?

ToniTuddle

Dear Aunty Thaed,

Will you marry me?

Yours Faithfully,

TT

Fago!

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Dear Aunty Thaed,

Will you marry me?

Yours Faithfully,

TT

Can I marry you?

ToniTuddle

Fago_25 wrote: »

Can I marry you?

*Dramatic love triangle begins to unfold*


:eek:

Fago!

You mention a word to "You know who" about my proposal, I'll brain ye.

Queen-Mise

Dear Aunty Thaed,

All over the internet they are Lol-cats pictures. Why is there no equivalent for dogs. I am first and foremostly a dog lover, and are much chagrined by the fact, that there is no equivalent for doggies.

Is this not a form of animal equality.... that one animal is so revered over another

Would you be able to right this inequality Thaedydal

Thanks

Q-M

ToniTuddle

Fago_25 wrote: »

You mention a word to "You know who" about my proposal, I'll brain ye.

*Dramatic music*

*narrows eyes*

We shall let Aunt Thaed answer my question first whenever auntie returns. Then I shall answer your proposal over PM as do answer it on here would be off topic carry on. And feic that craic.

*keeps eyes narrowed*

Nevyn

Toasty113 wrote: »

Dear Aunt of Agony,

Ive never been one for questioning the wisdom of musicians, but it occured to me recently while slaughtering a village of people rebelling against my rule, that while the song says "Everybody dance now!", it's probably not always the right thing to do, say if you were at a funeral or balancing on a tight rope over a swedish male orgy.

What do you think?

You can dance with in your soul rather then phyically, that is if you have a soul. /peers at you

Fago_25 wrote: »

Dear missus wisdomfullness Auntie T.

What will be my future career?

Well it won't be professionally flatterer.
Have you investigated if you local town or village has need of a sot?

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Dear Aunty Thaed,

Will you marry me?

Yours Faithfully,

TT

Why should I?

Queen-Mise wrote: »

Dear Aunty Thaed,

All over the internet they are Lol-cats pictures. Why is there no equivalent for dogs. I am first and foremostly a dog lover, and are much chagrined by the fact, that there is no equivalent for doggies.

Is this not a form of animal equality.... that one animal is so revered over another

Would you be able to right this inequality Thaedydal

Thanks

Q-M

Dogs and Cats are different they can never be equal, you need to accept it.

ToniTuddle

Thaedydal wrote: »

Why should I?

Oh well...I never really thought about it deeply.:eek:

Fago_25 wrote: »

Can I marry you?

Now that Aunt Thaed has made me realise I haven't thought this whole marriage thing through....Sorry, won't marry ya!

Thanks Aunt Thaed.

Toasty113

Dear Aunty Thaed, of whom I have deep suspicions of counter peer-ing-ness,

Where doth one procure of these "souls" of which you speak?

Yours sincerely, those suspicious rustling bushes outside your window

Nevyn

Toasty113 wrote: »

Dear Aunty Thaed, of whom I have deep suspicions of counter peer-ing-ness,

Many have odd fears when it comes to me, I ignore such things for the most part as a person's fears are private, and none of my concern unless they become an inconvenience.

Toasty113 wrote: »

Where doth one procure of these "souls" of which you speak?

If you dont' know or think you don't have one I suggest you ask the Wizard.

Toasty113 wrote: »

Yours sincerely, those suspicious rustling bushes outside your window

I head the rustling, and the yelps and sobbing, really who trieds to hide in rose bushes with thorns that large?

Tar.Aldarion

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Dear Aunty Thaed,

Will you marry me?

Yours Faithfully,

TT

We are finished!

ToniTuddle

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

We are finished!

:eek:

Awww ****!

I can explain everything baby, I swear.
It's not what it looks like!

Tar.Aldarion

just ehen I was about to reveal I look/act like Dylan Moran/Bernard Black and possibly is him too, your loss! /storms off...line

ToniTuddle

I only asked Aunt Thaed that to see if she would marry a female...see if she was open to that thing. More like asking a question in a roundabout way!
I was not actually wanting to marry Aunt Thaed. I swear.
YOU are the man for meeeeee.

>.>

*calls Dannie to confirm Tar=Dylan Moran lookalike/actalike

Tar.Aldarion

calls dannie to make him say what i want and make sure we meet in a dark room :P

youre not off the hook>_>

ToniTuddle

I'll make it up to you...I promise, oh honeybum!

I'll start off with thanking your posts whenever I happen to see them no matter what they say**


**unless it's some post saying RIP sorry your family died in that weird hot air balloon crash with a cow.

Tar.Aldarion

haha good plan! honeybum made me laugh loudly, you win this round >_>

ToniTuddle

SCORE!!

Well...I mean...... it's not about winning. It's about loving.
I'll see you later HoneyBum.

*Smacks that ass and runs away offline*


>.>

<.<

Tar.Aldarion

cheeky..get it :eek:

Sarky

Honeybum?

Aunty Thaed? Is that even legal in Ireland?

Nevyn

Sarky wrote: »

Honeybum?

Aunty Thaed? Is that even legal in Ireland?

As long as no bees are harmed, can't see the appeal of honey as lube for anal sex, really while it may provide a sugar rush it's going to be messy and not in a good way, unless your into that type of thing...

James T Kirk

Where's my underpants? I want answers...

joes girls

Put away your big gun!!!
"look under the bed"

hitlersson666

i would love a free subscription can i have one please!!!!!!!

Fago!

Dear Auntie T.

I'm indecisive, so what should I have to eat today?

Love Fago

Toasty113

Dear solution to all lifes problems,

When will my package arrive?

Nevyn

Toasty113 wrote: »

Dear solution to all lifes problems,

When will my package arrive?

If you are male and you weren't born with one then you need to talk to your dr.

Fago_25 wrote: »

Dear Auntie T.

I'm indecisive, so what should I have to eat today?

Love Fago

Your head

hitlersson666 wrote: »

i would love a free subscription can i have one please!!!!!!!

To what, the nazi fetish email list, sign up for that is free as far as I know.

James T Kirk wrote: »

Where's my underpants? I want answers...

Is Mr Spook is wearing them again?

Sarky

So how much older than Beruthiel are you?