Stupidest thing you have ever heard anyone say?

ItsNoAlias · 04-12-2009 12:36PM #1

All,

Was reading some of the threads posted recently and thought the above would be a good subject to discuss.

What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard.

Personally, for me, it was when I was in school, during a perticularly unruley business studies class. Dead serious, one of the 'lads' down the back of the class was trying to annoy another bloke across the room.

So he goes ''Here Maurice, I bet I can throw this 50 cent across the room, into your mouth, down your neck and into your stomach and you wouldnt even know it! Thats how good a money thrower I am!''.

Maurice just shook his head, and died a little inside.

AnonoBoy · 04-12-2009 12:37PM

I sat behind Brendan O'Connor on a bus once for 3 hours. He was talking loudly on the phone the whole time.

3 hours worth of material right there.

5starpool · 04-12-2009 12:38PM

Thread Fail?

DOC09UNAM · 04-12-2009 12:38PM

Was living in England for a few months...

A nameless friend from Ireland rang me up and asked me what time was it over there.

Needless to say, i just laughed, and led him to believe it was an hour later.

Dunno if he's realised yet.

Sean Quagmire · 04-12-2009 12:39PM

Has to be the post by someone here a while back before Lisbon II. He wrote something like 'I was walking down the road and I seen a bunch of yes voters abusing an old woman and pushing her because she wanted to vote NO. We should all vote no!'

What an arse clown.

Armin_Tamzarian · 04-12-2009 12:41PM

"Look it's a bleedin tornado".

Said from one skanger bird to another outside a pub on the Northside (Dublin).

What she was actually looking at was smoke from the Sandymount towers.
The actual tower were obscured from view by a double-decker bus that had pulled in.

brummytom · 04-12-2009 12:41PM

I was reading through some old texts yesterday. I go on to telling a mate (girl) about a holiday to America earlier this year.
I mentioned I'd saw a moose and were amazed by how big they were.

"Mooses? Are they real?!"
"Erm.. yeah?"
"Like real animals? In the zoo?"
"Erm I doubt they'd be in a zoo here"
"What do they look like?"
"I dunno.. massive reindeer type things, hard to describe"
"Wow. I'm gonna go to the zoo just to see them"
/facepalm

I'll think of a few good ones in a bit, I know plenty of idiots

fintonie · 04-12-2009 12:42PM

i heard a priest say, let he who has cast the first stone do a sin :eek:

Hogzy · 04-12-2009 12:43PM

A few years ago when there was a general election my girlfriend saw a poster of some random candidate Cllr. Joe Bloggs, She then went on to ask me what cllr meant and she said "oh wait its clergyman isnt it?"

Every time is see Cllr now when im with her i make her feel bad due to her stupidity.

ibarelycare · 04-12-2009 12:46PM

One of my friends talking about a person he met on a night out...
"I've known him since 6th or 7th class."

My friend and I in London...
Her: "Can we go and see Trafalger Square?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Her: "To see where Eastenders is made!"

Same friend another time:
"I forgot Tipperary existed........except South Tipperary"

ItsNoAlias · 04-12-2009 12:47PM

Have another one, again at school.

I was in second year and the geography teacher puts a map of Ireland on the board. He asks one of the girls to point out offaly on the map. She stares at him without speaking. He repeats himself.

She stands up and says, But sir, dats a map of Ireland, Offaly is in bleedin africa!

Jeege · 04-12-2009 12:47PM

Was giving out to my then 5 year old for picking up the kittens I had just told her not to touch (I caught her when I looked out an upstairs window) and asked her to explain herself..
" But Mammy, I didn't think you'd see me":rolleyes:

Talk about digging yourself a bigger hole..

Hogzy · 04-12-2009 12:49PM

Jeege wrote: »

Was giving out to my then 5 year old for picking up the kittens I had just told her not to touch (I caught her when I looked out an upstairs window) and asked her to explain herself..
" But Mammy, I didn't think you'd see me":rolleyes:

Talk about digging yourself a bigger hole..

At least shes honest, most 5yr olds would probably lie

IvySlayer · 04-12-2009 12:50PM

No thank you, to a Garda

IvyTheTerrible · 04-12-2009 12:51PM

An American girl in Paris pointing at a pigeon, she asked her friend if it was a crow.

brummytom · 04-12-2009 12:52PM

A mate was telling a girl he was going on holiday to Bulgaria

"Is that in Spain?"

But she's fit, so I'll forgive it

IvySlayer · 04-12-2009 12:53PM

brummytom wrote: »

A mate was telling a girl he was going on holiday to Bulgaria

"Is that in Spain?"

But she's fit, so I'll forgive it

Well?? Is it????

And why aren't you at school young man :mad:

brummytom · 04-12-2009 12:55PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

Well?? Is it????

And why aren't you at school young man :mad:

Nope, it's in Eastern Europe.

And sick

IvySlayer · 04-12-2009 12:56PM

brummytom wrote: »

Nope, it's in Eastern Europe.

And sick

How much did you have?

Jeege · 04-12-2009 12:56PM

Hogzy wrote: »

At least shes honest, most 5yr olds would probably lie

Ye, too bloody honest for her own good sometimes!
And as for the 3 year old, he'd sell sand to an arab, he'll be taoiseach one day, polished experienced liar at this stage!!!

wudangclan · 04-12-2009 12:57PM

My friend: "Can I get a taxi from A to B,in half an hour please?"
Taxi-operator: "Of course you can."
My friend: "How long will it take you to get here?."

brummytom · 04-12-2009 12:58PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

How much did you have?

Ex-cer-use mee! :eek:

Nope, I haven't had a 'drink' at all since last Tuesday

And that was only a pint with the father.
Haven't got pissed for two or three weeks

JCDUB · 04-12-2009 01:02PM

In skewl, many moons ago, the aul history muinteoir was asking us a few questions about Columbus on his travels.

So, he asks this fella in the class what cape Columbus came around before passing Africa or some such question, (can't remember precisely) and your man pipes up: "Cape Canaveral?!"

Even the teacher pissed himself laughing....

It was funny at the time:o

Intothesea · 04-12-2009 01:07PM

From a gawdawful TV show years ago:

Host: What's the shortest distance between two points?

Questionee: an arc.

jokettle · 04-12-2009 01:10PM

ibarelycare wrote: »

One of my friends talking about a person he met on a night out...
"I've known him since 6th or 7th class."

There is such a thing as 7th class...my secondary school had an age limit (you had to turn 13 by January of 1st year or something) and my birthday was later than that, ergo i entred 7th class. It's basically 6th class all over again, except it was called 7th so we wouldn't feel we were being held back/too dumb for Loreto :rolleyes:

Back OT, a friend was describing a trip to Berlin and called brandenburg gate "that big gate thing beside Starbucks"

Twin-go · 04-12-2009 01:11PM

In America a few years back, Got chatting to this really good looking girl at a house party.

Talking for about an hour at this stage and then she came out with it,

Her: "Your accent is nice"
Me: "why Thanks!"
Her: "Where you From?"
Me: "Ireland"
Her: "Wow, neat. Thats like a foriegn Country isn't it?"
Me: " eh, ya"
Her: "Do you actually understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
Me: "Eh.....

WTF" Only been talking with you for the past hour you freak.

Still hooked up, She was very hot..........:D

sparky360 · 04-12-2009 02:10PM

Twin-go wrote: »

Still hooked up, She was very hot..........:D

Riding a girl with a fever! nice

Ross_Mahon · 04-12-2009 02:21PM

"Are you watching the Eurovision tonight?"
"Yeah i think America will win this time"

*Facepalm*

thebossanova · 04-12-2009 02:27PM

"Yes I'm an atheist, thank God!"

frman · 04-12-2009 02:32PM

In school, fourth class, one of the lads (not too bright) ....

Q. What's the Capital of Turkey

A. Chicken

Everyone laughed though.

actuallylike · 04-12-2009 02:41PM

In America a while back chatting to some hot bird in a bar...

Her: So where you from?
Me:Ireland
Her:Oh yeah, where's that?

Didn't surprise me, most people I met there are pretty ignorant to the world anyway so I proceed to use my hands to describe where England is (which she knew) and then explained where Ireland was.
Chat continues...

Her:So what do you do in college?
Me:Engineering
Her:Oh yeah? So do you do like, bio engineering?
Me: (a bit stumped) eh no, why do you say that?
Her:Cause you know so much about maps and stuff!

Confused to say the least, yes I know where my country is on a map and what has that got to do with anything 'bio'?

I left her alone...

Stupidest thing you have ever heard anyone say?

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