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Left erotic novel in my parents house. Very embarassed.

  • 28-11-2009 12:30PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭


    Okay, not a very serious problem but stressing me out all the same....and it really shouldn´t ´cos I´m almost 30! Just want to see how you guys would handle this situation. Right, a few months ago I met my friend on the way home from work and he told me he found an erotic novel on the bus and as a joke, he said I could keep it, so I took it off him, put it in my bag and thought nothing about it. At the time I was temporarily living with my parents who are both well into their 60´s/early 70´s and would be your typical Irish parents of that generation (i.e. not very open about all things related to sex) and my mother more so.

    Anyway, got home, flicked through the book, not my cup of tea. It was about a teenage girl of 15 who shags lots and lots of men and goes into a lot of detail about it, obviously. I like erotic literature but this is not what I´m into (I prefer adult characters for starters) so I put the book under my bed in the bedroom I was sleeping in and forgot about it.

    I don´t live in Ireland anymore and I just remembered I put the book under the bed this morning. No doubt my mother will do a complete clean of the bedroom and she´s usually very thorough when she cleans, so there´s a very, very strong possibility she would have found the book already.

    People here I´m going to think I´m acting like a 5 year old and I can see where you´re coming from...but you don´t know my mother. She´s EXTREMELY Catholic and extremely prudish about this type of thing (she was a nun in her early twenties). I know for a fact she would be DISGUSTED if she found this book and the fact that it was under my bed. She´s going to put 2 and 2 together and get 5. She´ll think I´m some pervert (I am but she doesn´t need to know that!) who gets off on teenagers shagging 100´s of men. This is not how I want my aging mother to see me.

    So, I´m going home for Christmas in a few weeks and I´m ridiculously nervous about facing my mother. If she did find it (very strong possibility she did), should I say nothing or should I confront her? If I confront her, how should I approach this??

    Please help! I know this might seem like a stupid problem but this could seriously damage my relationship with my mother for good.

    Thanks guys.


Comments

  • #2
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,904 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    1. I wouldn't mention anything.
    2. Don't hang onto morally (and legally) dubious material.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Absolutely. If the book is still there, it´s going in the bin but I´ve a feeling my mother has probably already set fire to it in the back garden and called the priest in to rid the house of sinful vibes the book might have given off.

    I´m not joking. This is how religious and conservative she is. This might seem like a silly problem but if you knew my mother, you would realise why I´m panicking.


  • #4
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,441 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    You don't mention having any brothers or sisters who could retrieve the book from under the bed (if your mum hasn't found it).

    Other than that, there's nothing you can do other than try to pretend it didn't happen :(


  • #5
    florio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭florio


    Victor wrote: »
    1. I wouldn't mention anything.
    2. Don't hang onto morally (and legally) dubious material.

    There's nothing legally dubious about it. And morally dubious is an entirely subjective concept, from the OP's tone it sounds like they might have no such hang-ups about this book, it may just not to their taste.

    OP, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Is your mum likely to bring it up, or just give you the silent treatment and try and force it out of you? If, on the day, you think she's trying to make you uncomfortable it's probably best to bring it up yourself to make it clear you're not ashamed. You've done nothing to be ashamed of, but the longer you're left stewing the more likely you are to feel irrational guilt. Also, don't overdo pointing out it's not your book. I know it actually isn't, but it's going to sound like you're trying to hide something if you deny ownershiptoo vehemently. It's unfortunate, but that's really what it would sound like.
    But maybe start the conversation by apologizing for leaving the book there and making it clear it was an accident, so she doesn't presume it was an attack on her values. Start things off by showing respect for her ways, and she might return the sentiment.


  • #6
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,904 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    florio wrote: »
    There's nothing legally dubious about it. And morally dubious is an entirely subjective concept, from the OP's tone it sounds like they might have no such hang-ups about this book, it may just not to their taste.
    1. The OP said "It was about a teenage girl of 15 who shags lots and lots of men and goes into a lot of detail about it, obviously. I like erotic literature but this is not what I´m into (I prefer adult characters for starters)"

    2. 15 is still legally a child. Depending on how explicit the book is, it could be construed as child pornography. There is a thread on Legal Discussion about such material: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055715846 so lets not get into it here.


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  • #7
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    If the subject is brought up, I would apologise for thoughtlessly leaving it there and for causing her offense and possible distress. Don't apologise for actually having it though.

    If she questions the content, treat it like any other book. "It sounded interesting and I had nothing else to read."

    If she brings up moral issues, you can simply state that you are an adult and free and able to make your own chioices and opinions. Some, obviously, she will disagree with, both moral and otherwise.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Victor wrote: »
    1. The OP said "It was about a teenage girl of 15 who shags lots and lots of men and goes into a lot of detail about it, obviously. I like erotic literature but this is not what I´m into (I prefer adult characters for starters)"

    2. 15 is still legally a child. Depending on how explicit the book is, it could be construed as child pornography. There is a thread on Legal Discussion about such material: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055715846 so lets not get into it here.

    Okay, just to state I´m most definitely NOT turned on by child pornography or teenagers getting involved in sex. It´s wrong, end of. I didn´t mean to sound so flippant in my disapproval of the content. As I said, I didn´t buy this book, it was passed on to me by a friend who found it on the bus on the way home from work. I would´ve thrown it out immediately but I forgot. It got pushed under the bed because I was in the box room and I´m an untidy person. And forgetful. This is why I only remembered 3 months later.

    If the book is still there, I will throw it out immediately.

    I´m female and my tastes in erotic literature are pretty mainstream. I´m worried that my mother won´t think this is the case.


  • #9
    Webmonkey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,579 ✭✭✭Webmonkey


    Surely it doesn't state this age of 15 on the front cover of the book and I don't think your mother is going to sit down and have an indept enough read of it to find out the girl or whatever is 15 in it assuming it not mentioned in the synopsis. From what I've read it doesn't seem this is your problem, but more just the embarrassment of having an erotic novel in general.

    To be honest, I would laugh it off. If your mother found it, there's a good chance she might have just flcked it a side while cleaning and may not even have noticed it.

    She may not even have noticed it yet so I wouldn't be unneccessairly worrying myself over something there may be no need to.


  • #10
    mike65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88,968 ✭✭✭✭mike65


    Seriously, forget it.


  • #11
    MissHoneyBun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,131 ✭✭✭MissHoneyBun


    None of her business tbh. Adults make their own decisions, other adults respect that.


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  • #12
    hungryhippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭hungryhippo


    No point worrying about it now. I'm sure your parents read the papers and watch the news. They are probably a lot more worldly than you think. And remember, they had sex at least once too!;)


  • #13
    Lady Davenport
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32 ✭Lady Davenport


    Scarlet O´Hara wrote: »
    Absolutely. If the book is still there, it´s going in the bin but I´ve a feeling my mother has probably already set fire to it in the back garden and called the priest in to rid the house of sinful vibes the book might have given off.

    Sorry but that made me laugh :D

    I can understand why you're a bit anxious about this, but I assume you've been in contact with your parents since you've been away? I think if she is as religious as you say she is, and the book came across her path she might at least have asked you if you knew anything about it. You're worrying needlessly I think. Go with the plan of not bringing it up, and if you do find its still there, get rid of it! :)


  • #14
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,683 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Victor wrote: »
    1. The OP said "It was about a teenage girl of 15 who shags lots and lots of men and goes into a lot of detail about it, obviously. I like erotic literature but this is not what I´m into (I prefer adult characters for starters)"

    2. 15 is still legally a child. Depending on how explicit the book is, it could be construed as child pornography. There is a thread on Legal Discussion about such material: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055715846 so lets not get into it here.
    Can we not turn this thread into something its not?

    It depends on the country of origin for the literature.

    Is this the same young french girl that everyone made a fuss about several years ago for writing erotica? Dont remember the fuppin name, never read it, but it made the papers for a few weeks.

    The age of consent in France is 15, as specified by Article 227-25, which reads: "The commission without violence, constraint, threat or surprise of a sexual offence by an adult on the person of a child under fifteen years of age is punished by five years' imprisonment and a fine of €75,000."

    Which would make the book perfectly legal, unless it is somehow banned by the Irish Republic.


  • #15
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    The age of consent or the legality of the book is not the point here. The point is that the OP fears her mother will be upset by the book and wants to know how best to handle it.

    Stick to the topic please.

    dudara


  • #16
    thermo66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 523 ✭✭✭thermo66


    Surely you have spoken to your mum on the phone since, so did you notice an atmosphere or a sense of tension?

    Or solve everything when you get back and say what happened, that your friend gave it to you as a joke.

    To be honest if you were a guy id be more embarrassed at it involves a 15 year old girl


  • #17
    sunnyside
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,428 ✭✭✭sunnyside


    How would your mother know what this book is about? Is it completely obvious from looking the cover that it's a sexy book? Books don't have pictures so unless she actually reads it there mightn't be anything to worry about. It's a book not a playboy magazine. It's not unusual to find a book by someones bed. She may not give it a second glance.


  • #18
    Skinfull
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,433 ✭✭✭Skinfull


    Cant believe you are even worried about this. Just laugh it off. If your mum says something about it over christmas then laugh and "say oh my god I know!" or whatever but you're 30 who cares if you read erotic literature!


  • #19
    waitinforatrain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 267 ✭✭waitinforatrain


    OP, if your mother is so catholic, she will probably be too embarrassed to say anything. I suggest you act like it didn't happen, and if it comes to it, DENY EVERYTHING!


  • #20
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    I'm gonna go with the idea that your mam won't have read it. If she says anything just agree that it was filth and you stopped reading after a few pages. Lie. You'll be fine, i'd say you'd know by now if she had found it.


  • #21
    Ann22
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,006 ✭✭✭Ann22


    I can understand your anxiety. If I was you I'd have to bring up the subject and get it out in the open...I'd probably wait 'til I was home a day or two then say something like 'oh yeah, ma do you know Mary from work? Well, she's lent me a book to read and it was filthy rotten dirty, I don't know what to say when I give it back to her. I would've thrown it out but she keeps asking me what I think of it and wants it back when i've finished. I don't know where I left it'...Then she'll say 'oh is that the book that's under your bed?:o


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  • #22
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,051 ✭✭✭Emme


    Is the title of the book fairly innocent? If so say you got it in a charity shop, didn't examine it all that well and meant to get rid of it but forgot to take it with you. Your mother will probably have gotten rid of it at this stage for you.

    I remember when I was at secondary school I was into Roald Dahl spooky stories and I bought a book of his called "Switch B*h" not knowing that it had erotic content. Looking back it was harmless enough, but my mother found it and all hell broke loose, she brought it straight up to the Stanley range and threw it in!


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