Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Useless but (hopefully) funny thread for those bored at work!

  • 05-11-2009 11:00AM
    #1
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭


    'Unsinkable Sam' was a ship's cat in both the German and British navies during World War II. Even though all three ships he sailed on (the German Bismarck, then the British Cossack and Ark Royal) were sunk within the space of six months in 1941, Sam survived each time - although he never went to sea again.

    In 1900, a 19-year-old called Max Hirschberg joined the gold rush by travelling around 1,200 miles across Alaska - on his bicycle. He suffered snow-blindness and exposure, nearly drowned, lost all money, and eventually had to use his coat as a sail to power the bike for the final stage of his journey after his chain broke.

    In 1993, a police officer in San Francisco called Bob Geary was the subject of a local referendum on whether he should be allowed to carry a ventriloquist's dummy called Brendan O'Smarty with him while on foot patrol. He won by a narrow margin, and continued patrolling with the puppet. :pac:

    On average the amount people can hold their breath is around one minute. Smashing that time to achieve an astounding 21 minutes 29 seconds was Hungarian escape artist David Merlini, who achieved a world record on April 26 2009 for holding his breath underwater at the starting line of the Bahrain Formula One Grand Prix.

    In the 18th century, the Humane Society installed smoke enema kits at various points along the river Thames, so that drowning victims could be revived by having tobacco smoke blown up their rectum - a popular, if not terribly effective, method of resuscitation at the time. :eek:

    A woman in America recently called the police to complain that her daughter was giving her husband better blowjobs than herself. HERE

    The 'Streisand Effect' is the name given to amusingly backfiring attempts to censor information - which attract so much notoriety that many more people become aware of the information than otherwise would. It's named after Barbra Streisand's efforts to suppress a picture of her house - which lead to hundreds of thousands of people looking at the offending photo online.

    The dog who played Toto in The Wizard of Oz was paid more than twice the amount that the actors who played the Munchkins were. Terry, a female Cairns Terrier, got $125 per week, while the short-statured actors playing the Munchkins only got $50 a week.

    In January 1863, in the middle of the American Civil War, some Confederate troops started a snowball fight, following heavy snowfall in Virginia's Rappahannock Valley. Things escalated, and by the end over 9,000 soldiers were involved in the battle. Snowballing was subsequently banned among the troops, after rocks were included in some of the snowballs, causing severe injuries. :pac:


Comments

  • #2
    petes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    I'm always bored at work!!

    I particularly liked the last one!


  • #3
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Prussian king Frederick the Great is said by many biographers to have enjoyed drinking coffee made with champagne instead of water, and, occasionally, flavoured with mustard. (Anybody who fancies trying this recipe out, please drop the rest of a line and let us know how it tastes LOL - when ye get out of an Irish casualty that is!)

    In 1510, priests in Autun, France, brought legal proceedings against the town's rats because they were eating the barley crop. However, the rats' lawyer, Bartholomew Chassenee, successfully argued that not all the rats could have recieved the legal summons, and furthermore couldn't appear in court because they might be eaten by cats. The case was dropped.

    Henry Morgan, one of the most notorious privateers of the Golden Age of Piracy, was so offended by a book that described him as bloodthirsty pirate - and, much worse, a former servant - that he brought a libel suit against the publishers. He successfully settled out of court.

    Walt Disney was once told by his doctor that he was too stressed, and should find some way of relaxing. So he took up golf. Unfortunately, he became so obsessed with perfecting the game that he ended up getting up at 4.30am to play a round, making him more stressed than ever.

    Sir Francis Galton - the polymathic scientist and, regrettably, eugenicist - spent a good deal of time trying to create a 'beauty map' of Britain, by surreptitiously making notes on his travels of whether the women he saw were 'attractive, indifferent, or repellent.' London ranked the prettiest; Aberdeen was the ugliest. I wonder what he would have made of Dublin!

    The myth that lemmings regularly hurl themselves off cliffs (they don't) was widely popularised by the makers of the Oscar-winning Disney documentary White Wilderness, who - lacking any real-life lemming suicides to film - decided to push a load of lemmings off a cliff into a river instead

    Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest (which were popular across America when Chaplin first became famous in 1915) in a San Francisco theatre. He lost - not even making it as far as the final round.

    The most published printed product in the world each year is currently thought to be… the IKEA catalogue. 198 million of the tasteful Swedish furniture bibles were printed in the financial year 2008, easily surpassing estimates of the number of actual Bibles printed each year.

    The holder of the world record for being the longest serving bartender is 95-year-old Angelo Cammarata, who has been serving the drinks at Cammarata's Café in Pittsburgh USA for over 76 years - since the moment prohibition ended in 1933. He's now finally retiring, after the bar was sold.

    In addition to being the father of modern computing and helping win WWII for the Allies, genius mathematician Alan Turing had a personal best time for the marathon of 2 hours 46 minutes, and would sometimes run 40-plus miles from Bletchley Park into London for meetings. Yikes!

    The katzenklavier, or cat piano, was a 'musical instrument' designed by 17th century German polymath Athanasius Kircher. It consisted of a row of cats in cages, arranged by voice tone, which were 'played' using a keyboard that jabbed nails into their tails – making them yelp. Harsh.

    The Greek stoic philosopher Chrysippus of Soli is said to have died after laughing too hard at his donkey, who was drunk, trying and failing to eat some figs. Given that it was his fault the donkey was drunk (he'd given it wine) he really only has himself to blame.
    LOL What an ass!


  • #4
    Bazzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭Bazzy


    excellent keep them up!


  • #5
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,257 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Biggins wrote: »
    On average the amount people can hold their breath is around one minute. Smashing that time to achieve an astounding 21 minutes 29 seconds was Hungarian escape artist David Merlini, who achieved a world record on April 26 2009 for holding his breath underwater at the starting line of the Bahrain Formula One Grand Prix.
    I'm pretty sure if the brain goes 3 minutes without oxygen it's damaged

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • #6
    Cookie_Monster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 24,755 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    Biggins wrote: »
    In 1993, a police officer in San Francisco called Bob Geary was the subject of a local referendum on whether he should be allowed to carry a ventriloquist's dummy called Brendan O'Smarty with him while on foot patrol. He won by a narrow margin, and continued patrolling with the puppet. :pac:

    Fvcking Legend!:pac:


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Cookie_Monster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 24,755 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure if the brain goes 3 minutes without oxygen it's damaged

    you super saturate your blood with oxygen before hand by breathing lots... or something


  • #8
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    The Roman Emperor Tiberius developed such an insatiable appetite for cucumbers - he demanded them on his table every day - that he made his gardeners plant them in beds raised on wheels, and then wheeling them round so that they followed the sun.

    The top of the Eiffel Tower leans away from the sun - it can move as much as 18cm, as the metal on the side facing the sun expands in the heat. It can also get as much as 15cm taller when the weather's hot.

    According to recent figures, there are currently 18.7million vacant homes in the United States. If you assume four people per household, that's enough empty houses to accommodate the entire populations of the United Kingdom, Ireland, Denmark and Norway.

    In 1896, Irish student (and future MP) John Boland travelled to the first modern Olympics in Athens as a spectator. However, a friend signed him up to the tennis tournament - in which he promptly won the men's singles and doubles titles, despite playing in his dress shoes. LOL :D

    You've probably been wondering what the longest bird penis ever measured is. Well, this type of essential pub trivia is exactly why we're here. Since you asked, it's that of the Argentine Lake Duck. The bird's member is shaped like a corkscrew and, at 42.5cm (16.7in), it's roughly the same length as the bird itself.

    19th century biologist Sir John Lubbock experimented on ants by getting them drunk. He discovered that sober ants would carry their drunken ant comrades back to their nest, if they were from the same colony - but they would throw drunk strangers into the ditch. :eek:

    When Buzz Aldrin followed Neil Armstrong onto the moon's surface, forty years ago today, he had to be very careful to not lock the door behind him - the lunar module didn't have a handle on the outside, so they'd have been locked out.

    Neil Armstrong may have been the first man to walk on the moon, but Buzz Aldrin was the first man to urinate on it. He paused briefly to relieve himself in his suit's urine collection device shortly after he left the lunar module, while being watched by millions on TV.

    If you've ever been unable to find a cash machine when you really need one, spare a thought for the residents of Antarctica: there's just one cash machine on the entire continent, at US research centre McMurdo Station. Then again, there's also not many late night kebab shops either, so it probably evens out.

    Genius inventor Thomas Edison is best remembered for the movie camera, the lightbulb, and the phonograph, and less well-remembered for his ill-fated attempts at making concrete furniture - including a concrete piano. It never caught on, surprisingly.

    Alfred Hitchcock's classic film Psycho broke any number of taboos - notably, it was the first mainstream American film ever to show a toilet being flushed on screen, when Janet Leigh's character attempts to dispose of incriminating evidence.

    The microwave oven was invented after an accident in 1945, when American engineer Percy Spencer was standing in front of a magnetron (the device that produces the microwave radio signals in radar systems) and noticed that a chocolate bar in his pocket had melted.
    Good job it wasn't the nuts! :D


  • #9
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure if the brain goes 3 minutes without oxygen it's damaged

    There is also a breathing technique (I practise it myself) that allows air capacity to become more increased and retained internally within the stomach (short version), then released slowly as needed. Its used by many top martial artists to keep up stamina and longer fighting periods without having to rest or pause for air.


  • #10
    cherryghost
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    Biggins, dude, you try too much. You need a vacation :D


  • #11
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,257 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Biggins wrote: »
    When Buzz Aldrin followed Neil Armstrong onto the moon's surface, forty years ago today, he had to be very careful to not lock the door behind him - the lunar module didn't have a handle on the outside, so they'd have been locked out.
    Michael Collins would have let them back in ;)

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • Advertisement
  • #12
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    Michael Collins would have let them back in ;)
    I believe he was on an orbiting rocket section above the moon.
    He never landed with them on the moon.


  • #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,828 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Now if you really seriously bored go here ;)


  • #14
    petes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure if the brain goes 3 minutes without oxygen it's damaged


    Technique called apnoea I think will allow you to hold your breth for a lot longer.


  • #15
    Souwester
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Souwester


    Very funny....thanks for posting. French rats, smoke up peoples asses - great stuff!


  • #16
    Stercus Accidit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,758 ✭✭✭Stercus Accidit


    Its like watching QI!


  • #17
    Jay P
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,944 ✭✭✭Jay P


    Biggins wrote: »
    There is also a breathing technique (I practise it myself) that allows air capacity to become more increased and retained internally within the stomach (short version), then released slowly as needed. Its used by many top martial artists to keep up stamina and longer fighting periods without having to rest or pause for air.

    Really? What's the technique called? It sounds interesting...


  • #18
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Jay P wrote: »
    Really? What's the technique called? It sounds interesting...

    Its called "Diaphragmic Breathing"
    Breathing into your diaphragm, not shallow "chest" breathing
    1. inhale through the nose, slowly - some outstretch their arms when doing so to expand the muscles,
    2. exhale through the mouth, slowly,
    3. take longer to exhale than to inhale,
    4. slow down! (reduce your breaths-per-minute)
    5. practice until it becomes your natural breathing pattern.

    Here's the basic method:

    Begin by lying flat on your back or standing up straight. You may also sit up straight in a chair, if that is more comfortable.
    1. Place one hand on your stomach area and one hand on your chest.
    2. Breathe as you normally would and notice whether your "stomach" hand rises or your "chest" hand rises.
    3. To breathe properly, your stomach area must rise more than your chest as your diaphragm expands.
    4. Your by breathing in, allowing the air more so to pass to the lower part of the body rather than the upper chest.
    Your body believe it or not, does this for 15/20 minutes supposedly during the night while you sleep. According to what I've been told, it helps the body expel stale/bad trapped air within the body, taken in during the day also.
    If you can master the above, you will in time be able to retain more air within the lower part of your body for longer and with controlled breathing techniques, last longer between need gulps of air so to speak.

    There are advanced methods also but to post them here would not to proper/medical sound. They can only be taught face to face with someone qualified - and rightly so.


  • #19
    Gordon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    Aww, I thought it involved sucking air into your stomach and burping slowly into your mouth and lungs.


  • #20
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Gordon wrote: »
    Aww, I thought it involved sucking air into your stomach and burping slowly into your mouth and lungs.

    Partly right, more so than not! :pac:


  • #21
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Change of pace for the bored: World news! :D

    Man Clears His Name Amid Allegations That He Kicked the Bucket

    Poland: 18 months after being charged for allegedly kicking a neighbour's bucket and damaging it 55-year-old Waldemar Wilk has finally prevailed with the case being dropped by the court on appeal.
    The original case featured video evidence claimed to be of the bucket being used after the incident which could not be dated and expert testimony as to whether a bucket could be damaged by being kicked. The judge presiding over the case suggested that legal action shouldn't have been pursued over alleged damage to a bucket worth under £3 in the first place.
    http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3538026.html?menu=

    Fan to Miley Cyrus: Come Back on Twitter or I´ll Kill and Eat My Cat

    Just weeks after Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus deleted her twitter account a fan has issued her an ultimatum: come back on Twitter by November 16 or I'll kill and eat my pet cat Fuzzy.
    The fan said that he doesn't think petitions, fan videos, or letters will get Miley to return and he does "not mean to pressure her" but if she's not back on Twitter the cat gets it. He added that Fuzzy's death would be quick as he isn't cruel.
    "Fuzzy can make the ultimate sacrifice for this cause. It was very difficult for me, you see, as I sincerely love Fuzzy. But my mind is made up. I could always get another cat, but nothing can replace Miley's tweets for me!" he said.
    http://entertainment.oneindia.in/music/international/2009/twitter-fan-kill-miley-cat-301009.html

    Mother Seeks to Change Law That Allows Parents to Show Porn to their Children

    Texas: A woman is seeking to have the law on porn changed after a prosecutor told her that there is no case against her ex-husband under current legislation over an incident in which he showed a video of a threesome to their daughters.
    Currently the law provides a specific defense for guardians and parents. According to Tati Santiesteban, a former Senator and criminal defense lawyer who led the drafting subcommittee for the law, parental rights were a major issue.
    "Our discussion was about the invasion of privacy into the home - being a parent and wanting to teach my child about sex. Who in the hell is the government to come and tell me what I can show to my children?" said Santiesteban.
    http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/DN-pornlaw_29pro.ART.State.Edition2.4bae606.html

    Teacher Arrested for ´Disciplining´ 3- and 4-Year-Olds By Stabbing Them With a Syringe

    China: 24-year-old Sun Qiqi has been arrested after allegedly using a syringe to maintain order in her classroom. 20 of the 37 three- and four-year-olds left in her care showed evidence of 'discipline'.
    Bai Yali, the school principal, claimed no knowledge of the incident and described the young teacher's performance as good. It has also come to light that the school is operating without a license.
    All the children have been tested for HIV with none testing positive. One mother said that her daughter was jabbed several times in her hand and backside. Another toddler was stabbed eight times for not napping.
    http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5j2res0XOUlm06x6PUxtMwpcrm3kA

    Sylvester Stallone Eying 7th Rocky Movie

    Actor, director, and writer Sylvester Stallone has told German media that he is thinking about making another Rocky movie. The last movie in the series, Rocky Balboa, came out two years ago.
    The 63-year-old says he expects there will be criticism and knows that he will "probably make a fool of [himself]" but wants to do it anyway. He is due to start shooting Rambo V next year.
    "Even my wife says: ´Don´t do it. You´re embarrassing the kids.´ But I told her, ´If I don´t try I´ll be a really unhappy man.´ You have to do it. Artists like me have to go through the dark over and over again," said Stallone.
    http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/Movies/2009/10/26/Report-Stallone-pondering-Rocky-7/UPI-82751256582029/

    911 Caller Doesn't Know Address, Reports Pot Stolen

    A central Florida man tried to get help from police after an armed robbery, but he could not tell the 911 operator what his address was. Oh, and he also told police that in addition to cash, the robbers stole his pot.
    Von Powell called 911 nearly an hour after two men burst into his home and robbed him at gunpoint. He told the dispatcher that he was unsure of his address, and that he was sitting on the couch, smoking pot and having a beer.
    Officers found Powell after driving around his neighbourhood. Even though he told police about the missing drugs and his drug use, he was not charged with possession due to lack of physical evidence.
    http://www.news4jax.com/news/21522785/detail.html


  • Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement