Best one liners in Sport / Entertainment

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father –Greg Norman

flahavaj wrote: »

Interviewer to Kenny Dalglish: "Kenny, can I have a quick word?"

Kenny:" Velocity."

Think it was Dalglish anyway, may have been Gordon Strachan.

That was Strachan, he has some awesome ones from messing about with interviers.

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

And my personal favourite:

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

"Kevin Moran.....oldest man on the pitch today...35 years of age.....of course the referee could possibly be older than that ......and technically he's on the pitch too.....then again his linesmen could be even older than him... but are they technically 'on' the pitch." – George Hamilton

"The problem is, Bill, that the kids nowadays have got personal stereos and higher education." – John Giles

"I've had to come out of the dressing room because I don't want to get too excited." – Bobby Robson

"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine."

Brian Clough

"Rome wasn't built in a day. But I wasn't on that particuar job."

Brian Clough

"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius."

Brian Clough on Martin O'Neill's success.

"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there."

Brian Clough

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one."

Brian Clough

"You need poverty and dictatorship to produce great footballers."

Eamonn Dunphy