Unemployed People: Should they be allowed keep cats?

Pighead · 22-09-2009 10:50AM #1

A question Pighead has asked before but a question that has popped up again due to the next door neighbours moggy doing a poo on this posters doorstep.

Pighead has often been accused of being a lightweight poster who doesn't get to the heart of the meatier matters in todays society. Such accusations can be hurtful but like the ex President Mugabe, Pighead ignores these jibes and puts a price on the head of the dastardly accusers.

Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs. You'd think this would leave them sad, morose and in the depths of a depression that even a snivelling little worm couldn't comprehend. But no, all the unemployed people in Pighead's town are seemingly happy go lucky carefree humans whose lack of a 9-5 seems to inspire their afternoon sessions of smug in your face grinning. This smug in your face grinning tends to be accompanied by a smug in your face cat.

Pighead walks past these unemployed windows and hears the smug jobless inner thoughts that other people are too busy too hear. Some say this is a gift but rest assured it is far far from it.

"Hey ya Pighead, have a nice day at work?" they taunt. "Thanks for contributing to my cats dinner, was gonna get her some shitty Lidl cat food but remembered that it was you who was paying for it so upgraded to Whiskas.

"Would you mind doing a bit of overtime this weekend Pighead? poor Miss Pussy has an ingrown toenail and I really ought to take her to the vet to get her fixed up" Rage builds when Pighead hears these selfish thoughts. This rage leads to some serious questions being asked. whats stopping jobless people getting jobs? Why are they so happy in their status of non contributors to society? What starts with C and rhymes with Fats? All these questions lead to one answer. Cats.

Cats are to blame for the jobless' inertia and smugness. Get rid of the cats, get rid of the problem. As Churchill once said ""I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

So how about it? If someone is parasitically sponging off decent hard working Pigheads, why not have somebody from the the Irish Cat Agency come and take their precious cats away as a punishment for their idleness and an incentive to actively seek work even if that work involves cleaning drains?

fintonie · 22-09-2009 10:58AM

I dont norm reply to strangers but here goes (my mum is watching so dont you dare) I am guessing there is a hidden message in your post so I counted to 100 and IM coming to get it now.

Biggins · 22-09-2009 11:00AM

O dear lord!

mike65 · 22-09-2009 11:02AM

The unemployed are as entitled to pussy as everyone else.

iguy · 22-09-2009 11:04AM

Pighead wrote: »

A question Pighead has asked before but a question that has popped up again due to the next door neighbours moggy doing a poo on this posters doorstep.

Pighead has often been accused of being a lightweight poster who doesn't get to the heart of the meatier matters in todays society. Such accusations can be hurtful but like the ex President Mugabe, Pighead ignores these jibes and puts a price on the head of the dastardly accusers.

Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs. You'd think this would leave them sad, morose and in the depths of a depression that even a snivelling little worm couldn't comprehend. But no, all the unemployed people in Pighead's town are seemingly happy go lucky carefree humans whose lack of a 9-5 seems to inspire their afternoon sessions of smug in your face grinning. This smug in your face grinning tends to be accompanied by a smug in your face cat.

Pighead walks past these unemployed windows and hears the smug jobless inner thoughts that other people are too busy too hear. Some say this is a gift but rest assured it is far far from it.

"Hey ya Pighead, have a nice day at work?" they taunt. "Thanks for contributing to my cats dinner, was gonna get her some shitty Lidl cat food but remembered that it was you who was paying for it so upgraded to Whiskas.

"Would you mind doing a bit of overtime this weekend Pighead? poor Miss Pussy has an ingrown toenail and I really ought to take her to the vet to get her fixed up" Rage builds when Pighead hears these selfish thoughts. This rage leads to some serious questions being asked. whats stopping jobless people getting jobs? Why are they so happy in their status of non contributors to society? What starts with C and rhymes with Fats? All these questions lead to one answer. Cats.

Cats are to blame for the jobless' inertia and smugness. Get rid of the cats, get rid of the problem. As Churchill once said ""I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

So how about it? If someone is parasitically sponging off decent hard working Pigheads, why not have somebody from the the Irish Cat Agency come and take their precious cats away as a punishment for their idleness and an incentive to actively seek work even if that work involves cleaning drains?

Oh aye!?!!?! Good god!

Hogzy · 22-09-2009 11:04AM

Should anyone be allowed keep cats?

Pighead · 22-09-2009 11:06AM

Biggins wrote: »

O dear lord!

Spot on Biggins. As usual you are bang on the money. It is indeed a disgrace that these parasites can taunt us by staying home petting their cats all day whilst the rest of us suckers drag ourselves out of bed to help put food in our neighbours cats mouths.

Pighead · 22-09-2009 11:09AM

Hogzy wrote: »

Should anyone be allowed keep cats?

Well, Pighead's of the mind that if you have a job and are not depending on somebody else to feed your animal then yes you are entitled to have whatever pet you wish. Never been a fan of cats but that doesn't mean that the average working tax-payer shouldn't be allowed to keep one. Pighead's a fair man.

fintonie · 22-09-2009 11:10AM

note to self, buy pighead cat for xmas.(with his own money)

Earthhorse · 22-09-2009 11:12AM

Biggins wrote: »

O dear lord!

I hope this is an issue you will be campaigning on.

I never really thought about it before but now that Pighead has brought it to my attention and I haven't given it any further thought I'm really angry about this and will remain so until the next thread about something that I've never thought about before is started. :mad:

ScumLord · 22-09-2009 11:12AM

You've got it wrong. Those homeless people are in fact the cats guardian angles as the cats are re-incarnated people and you can see dead people not read peoples thoughts. You've also discovered what some of us have known for a long time, angles are assholes.

Mr. Presentable · 22-09-2009 11:13AM

Somewhere, Pighead, you got turned around. The UB40s are not keeping cats, 'tis the cats that are collecting the idle - as slaves for the furtherance of their purring empire.

22-09-2009 11:14AM

Pighead wrote: »

Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs.

My favourite bit

Snakeblood · 22-09-2009 11:16AM

Pighead wrote: »

A question Pighead has asked before but a question that has popped up again due to the next door neighbours moggy doing a poo on this posters doorstep.

Pighead has often been accused of being a lightweight poster who doesn't get to the heart of the meatier matters in todays society. Such accusations can be hurtful but like the ex President Mugabe, Pighead ignores these jibes and puts a price on the head of the dastardly accusers.

Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs. You'd think this would leave them sad, morose and in the depths of a depression that even a snivelling little worm couldn't comprehend. But no, all the unemployed people in Pighead's town are seemingly happy go lucky carefree humans whose lack of a 9-5 seems to inspire their afternoon sessions of smug in your face grinning. This smug in your face grinning tends to be accompanied by a smug in your face cat.

Pighead walks past these unemployed windows and hears the smug jobless inner thoughts that other people are too busy too hear. Some say this is a gift but rest assured it is far far from it.

"Hey ya Pighead, have a nice day at work?" they taunt. "Thanks for contributing to my cats dinner, was gonna get her some shitty Lidl cat food but remembered that it was you who was paying for it so upgraded to Whiskas.

"Would you mind doing a bit of overtime this weekend Pighead? poor Miss Pussy has an ingrown toenail and I really ought to take her to the vet to get her fixed up" Rage builds when Pighead hears these selfish thoughts. This rage leads to some serious questions being asked. whats stopping jobless people getting jobs? Why are they so happy in their status of non contributors to society? What starts with C and rhymes with Fats? All these questions lead to one answer. Cats.

Cats are to blame for the jobless' inertia and smugness. Get rid of the cats, get rid of the problem. As Churchill once said ""I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

So how about it? If someone is parasitically sponging off decent hard working Pigheads, why not have somebody from the the Irish Cat Agency come and take their precious cats away as a punishment for their idleness and an incentive to actively seek work even if that work involves cleaning drains?

Their cats should be gradually reduced for the period of unemployment. You shouldn't punish people newly made redundant who have cats in their time of need. However, as the long months drag on into years, I think a suitable reminder of the positive side to work would be to remove a foot per year of unemployment from the cat. I think you'll find that most people will sort themselves out before they need to fix up a rollerskate for their cat to be pulled around on.

Pighead · 22-09-2009 11:18AM

Snakeblood wrote: »

Their cats should be gradually reduced for the period of unemployment. You shouldn't punish people newly made redundant who have cats in their time of need. However, as the long months drag on into years, I think a suitable reminder of the positive side to work would be to remove a foot per year of unemployment from the cat. I think you'll find that most people will sort themselves out before they need to fix up a rollerskate for their cat to be pulled around on.

This man is singing from the same hymnbook as Pighead.

Now Pigheads no dictator and the last thing he wants to see is a jobless man/woman cry.

Pigheads not saying "Ok lads I want you to go around to all the jobless peoples homes immediately and take away every cat in the house. If you meet with resistance you have permission to kill" No way. Pighead would adopt a more liberal human approach.

If you're unemployed for 6 months your cat gets replaced with a manx cat. After a year the manx cat gets taken away and replaced by a gerbil, after 2 years then we'll start talking concentration cats. All the short term heartache and tears would be worth it in the longrun. No more jobless, no more smugness and no more overtime on a Sunday.

MR Love · 22-09-2009 11:27AM

Cheers you made me laugh my ass off:D

Mr. Presentable · 22-09-2009 11:29AM

MR Love wrote: »

Cheers you made me laugh my ass off:D

Ah, feck! How are you gonna sit down?

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4 · 22-09-2009 11:30AM

Pighead wrote: »

Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs.

On wet days, there is usually some rain

If the cat got a job, and paid for its own food, clothes and rent wouldn't that solve the problem? We should create more jobs for cats!

I need the report by 5:00
|
V

who what when · 22-09-2009 11:38AM

At last a thread on societies real problems!! Up until now the issue of 'cats' has been swept under the carpet. Simply ignored in the hope that it may disappear!

The unemployed are said to 'own cats' as a means of coping with financial stress triggered by job loss. However investigators have too often assumed that unemployment leads to 'cat ownership' without considering the reverse. Figures for pre-job loss 'cat ownership' are virtually absent in studies to date.

I say its about time to get tough on cats and the causes of cats once and for all! Lets rid society of this feline scourge!!

keevita · 22-09-2009 11:39AM

Its really not the unemployed peoples fault, the cats have our weaknesses sussed. Well done to the tireless researchers at the University of Sussex for alerting us to this worrying fact:

Cats 'exploit' humans by purring
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8147566.stm

Pighead · 22-09-2009 11:48AM

who what when wrote: »

I say its about time to get tough on cats and the causes of cats once and for all! Lets rid society of this feline scourge!!

Or at the very least shave all the cats who are owned by the jobless. That way we'll be able to distinguish the decent cat owners from the leech cat owners.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/223/509588806_02e8dc6462.jpg

Hells Belle · 22-09-2009 11:57AM

why just cats, why not dogs or budgies too, my oh is unemployed and we have no pets just kids, maybe anything shorter than 3 foot should be included in your ban on ownership Pighead. Would you keep them in a dungeon like the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and feed them just cabbage? My kids could do with a bit of toughening up....and I could do with a break, please help.;)

Beruthiel · 22-09-2009 12:02PM

How to save money and get rid of the cats at the same time.

Cat Curry

Ingredients

4 cat breast fillets (cut in large dice -- six to a fillet)

2 large onions, peeled and sliced

3 cloves of garlic, crushed

Pinch of sugar and salt

3 tbsps curry powder

1 tbsp Chinese five-spice mix

1 ltr chicken stock (fresh is best, a stock cube is fine, or just water)

1½ tbsps of cornflour (softened with water)

1 bunch fresh coriander leaves, chopped

2 tbps sunflower oil

Put onions, garlic, oil and cat in pot. Sweat for a couple of minutes. Add spices, etc then the stock. Cook for 10 minutes, thicken and remove. Finish with coriander and season to taste.

pikachucheeks · 22-09-2009 12:08PM

I hate cats, regardless of whether their owner is employed or not.

Smart Bug · 22-09-2009 12:35PM

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I hate cats, regardless of whether their owner is employed or not.

Not a preference one would expect given your avatar.

Pighead · 22-09-2009 01:28PM

Hells Belle wrote: »

why just cats, why not dogs or budgies too, my oh is unemployed and we have no pets just kids, maybe anything shorter than 3 foot should be included in your ban on ownership Pighead. Would you keep them in a dungeon like the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and feed them just cabbage? My kids could do with a bit of toughening up....and I could do with a break, please help.;)

Pighead's no monster Hells Belle. The reason he has singled out cats is because they are haughty, selfish creatures who are born with a look in their evil green eyes which scream out "I'm better than you" Dogs, budgies and kids are ok as long as they don't look like cats.

Flying Abruptly · 22-09-2009 01:41PM

Beruthiel wrote: »

How to save money and get rid of the cats at the same time.

Cat Curry

Ingredients

4 cat breast fillets (cut in large dice -- six to a fillet)

2 large onions, peeled and sliced

3 cloves of garlic, crushed

Pinch of sugar and salt

3 tbsps curry powder

1 tbsp Chinese five-spice mix

1 ltr chicken stock (fresh is best, a stock cube is fine, or just water)

1½ tbsps of cornflour (softened with water)

1 bunch fresh coriander leaves, chopped

2 tbps sunflower oil

Put onions, garlic, oil and cat in pot. Sweat for a couple of minutes. Add spices, etc then the stock. Cook for 10 minutes, thicken and remove. Finish with coriander and season to taste.

We no see your cat!

TomD101 · 22-09-2009 01:45PM

The most sensible thing I've heard today - I concur

Run_to_da_hills · 22-09-2009 01:56PM

My mate has 5 cats and he's on the dole. He got one snipped recently at a discount when he showed his card to the vet.

darkdubh · 22-09-2009 01:58PM

Pighead wrote: »

A question Pighead has asked before but a question that has popped up again due to the next door neighbours moggy doing a poo on this posters doorstep.

Pighead has often been accused of being a lightweight poster who doesn't get to the heart of the meatier matters in todays society. Such accusations can be hurtful but like the ex President Mugabe, Pighead ignores these jibes and puts a price on the head of the dastardly accusers.

Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs. You'd think this would leave them sad, morose and in the depths of a depression that even a snivelling little worm couldn't comprehend. But no, all the unemployed people in Pighead's town are seemingly happy go lucky carefree humans whose lack of a 9-5 seems to inspire their afternoon sessions of smug in your face grinning. This smug in your face grinning tends to be accompanied by a smug in your face cat.

Pighead walks past these unemployed windows and hears the smug jobless inner thoughts that other people are too busy too hear. Some say this is a gift but rest assured it is far far from it.

"Hey ya Pighead, have a nice day at work?" they taunt. "Thanks for contributing to my cats dinner, was gonna get her some shitty Lidl cat food but remembered that it was you who was paying for it so upgraded to Whiskas.

"Would you mind doing a bit of overtime this weekend Pighead? poor Miss Pussy has an ingrown toenail and I really ought to take her to the vet to get her fixed up" Rage builds when Pighead hears these selfish thoughts. This rage leads to some serious questions being asked. whats stopping jobless people getting jobs? Why are they so happy in their status of non contributors to society? What starts with C and rhymes with Fats? All these questions lead to one answer. Cats.

Cats are to blame for the jobless' inertia and smugness. Get rid of the cats, get rid of the problem. As Churchill once said ""I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

So how about it? If someone is parasitically sponging off decent hard working Pigheads, why not have somebody from the the Irish Cat Agency come and take their precious cats away as a punishment for their idleness and an incentive to actively seek work even if that work involves cleaning drains?

"Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs".Give this genius a medal!

Pighead · 22-09-2009 02:49PM

darkdubh wrote: »

"Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs".Give this genius a medal!

Pighead has a feeling that you are being sarcastic here and that you don't really think that Pighead is a genius nor does he deserve a medal.

Well put this in your pipe and smoke it Mr Sarcastic. Unemployed people usually don't have any jobs but sometimes they do. Have you ever heard of nixers? Cash in hand? Drug dealing? All jobs that some unemployed partake in in order to make their cats lives that little bit more comfortable. You've made an enemy here today darkdubh. And a formidable enemy at that. :eek:

Unemployed People: Should they be allowed keep cats?

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