Your most embarrasing drunken story?

FearDark · 20-09-2009 01:10AM #1

Well, its Saturday night and Im bored off my nips and while Im waiting for the drunk masses to invade AH any minute now I may as well start a thread, no doubt Its been done before but it wasnt in the first 2 pages of the search function so feck it, whats your best drunk story, its not a competition to say how much you drunk, lets face it you were drunk it doesnt matter how much you drank to get that way, no excuses, you were drunk, no justifying your story with "now I rarely get drunk" or "I learnt my lesson" blah blah...

You were fookin drunk!

Heres my embarrasing one...

I was at a friends housewarming party, he had just bought this new swanky pad and had his parents there along with all our friends and his new neighbours I got absolutely sh1tfaced lost my phone, accused randomers of stealing it, then accused my friend of kissing my girlfriend

anyway: Made it into town, everyone basiclly abandoned me and left me to my own devices so I rang a taxi on my phone (what I thought was my phone) it actually turned out to be my friends remote control for his stereo, had a full blown arguement with a taxi driver on the remote control on the main street (I had an audience), realised after about 20 minutes it was a remote control and threw it across the road, started crying...

After 6 years youd think people would forget!

Theres also stories involving me pissing in the oven, "losing" my pants and ****ting out the window incident.

WexCan · 20-09-2009 01:13AM

I can't say I've ever heard voices out of a remote control. No matter how drunk I was.

pablomakaveli · 20-09-2009 01:15AM

It's ok, the drunk masses are beginning to arrive. I'm fairly drunk.

m83 · 20-09-2009 01:15AM

Getting horribly drunk in a Boston bar beside Fenway stadium, spilling my drink all over some hot chick then getting thrown out and proceeding to do a 20 minute live radio interview there and then on my God given rights as an Irishman in said city to get as drunk as I like, whenever I like.

Boy was I happy to be getting the plane outta there the next day.

marcsignal · 20-09-2009 01:19AM

On the piss one night with a few mates, and met this one in the club. All hunky dory, but wasn't in a position to bring her home. Was straight up about that, and towards the end of the night, she asked me back to her place. Went back, more booze, and a smoke, all plastered and knackered, ended up in her bed, but decided to hold fire until the morning.

next thing i remember, she woke me up, because i was pissing down her bedroom wall............

true story

:o

StopNotWorking · 20-09-2009 01:19AM

Walked out of a club at 3am hammered and half deaf from the noise of the place. Started shouting at the front of my hotel because everyone had gone to bed and then nearly got kicked out of said hotel because my dad threatened to kick lumps out of me when I got to our room.

Last time I went on a family holiday that's for sure :pac:

DarkJager · 20-09-2009 01:24AM

I woz drunk once in Amsterdam, and I went to dip the lolly in the candy shop if ya get the drift. Too many pints of course, so I was like a ****in rabbit with no dick tryna horse it in. She said to me "Ya know you only have 2o minutes?" and I was all like "Ya ho, I know that **** 4 real, 2o mins all I need to make you scream ho". So anyway, therre I was doin some serious Ron Jeremy **** behind the closed door when there was ;ike a knock or some **** on the door. I said to the ho "yo who the **** is dat??!!" and she get all up in my face like "that my hustla fooollll". So i got my clothes and ****, made sure my paper was still stackin up in the wallet and I got my mother****in stroll on, walkin out da door like it wasn't ****. Its only when this old granny lady ho started staring at me in da street that I realised like my almighty cock was on show for the whole RLD. Gave it a little wave and all for the nosey beeatches...

FearDark · 20-09-2009 01:25AM

marcsignal wrote: »

On the piss one night with a few mates, and met this one in the club. All hunky dory, but wasn't in a position to bring her home. Was straight up about that, and towards the end of the night, she asked me back to her place. Went back, more booze, and a smoke, all plastered and knackered, ended up in her bed, but decided to hold fire until the morning.

next thing i remember, she woke me up, because i was pissing down her bedroom wall............

true story :o

Back in my youth I was unreal for pissing on everything when I was flaming, thank god Im not the only one!

FearDark · 20-09-2009 01:27AM

DarkJager wrote: »

I woz drunk once in Amsterdam, and I went to dip the lolly in the candy shop if ya get the drift. Too many pints of course, so I was like a ****in rabbit with no dick tryna horse it in. She said to me "Ya know you only have 2o minutes?" and I was all like "Ya ho, I know that **** 4 real, 2o mins all I need to make you scream ho". So anyway, therre I was doin some serious Ron Jeremy **** behind the closed door when there was ;ike a knock or some **** on the door. I said to the ho "yo who the **** is dat??!!" and she get all up in my face like "that my hustla fooollll". So i got my clothes and ****, made sure my paper was still stackin up in the wallet and I got my mother****in stroll on, walkin out da door like it wasn't ****. Its only when this old granny lady ho started staring at me in da street that I realised like my almighty cock was on show for the whole RLD. Gave it a little wave and all for the nosey beeatches...

Wat.

minidazzler · 20-09-2009 01:31AM

I was at a friends 21st 2 months back and I was pissed.

Long story short I ended up going down on her friend at 6 am on a public laneway that is used alot in the early morning. Her friend has one eye and is ginger. I regret it majorly because the next day I told a friend so now EVERYONE knows about it, and the girl I went down on is not attractive at all.

sneakerfreak · 20-09-2009 01:36AM

too many to mention,way too mention,one of the main reasons i dont use much alcohol anymore

most embarrassing is my entire relationship with some girls,i dont even remember them much

but I have a son from one of those and he is wonderful so thats a good thing that came from a bad thing,

FearDark · 20-09-2009 01:46AM

minidazzler wrote: »

I was at a friends 21st 2 months back and I was pissed.

Long story short I ended up going down on her friend at 6 am on a public laneway that is used alot in the early morning. Her friend has one eye and is ginger. I regret it majorly because the next day I told a friend so now EVERYONE knows about it, and the girl I went down on is not attractive at all.

Details on this.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 20-09-2009 01:47AM

Walking out the road from my one & only local in a small village in West CO. Dublin

(Athgoe, Newcastle to be precise)

About halfway home (maybe 7 minutes to go). Whipped out the mobile & DRUNKENLY proceeded to ring my M.D.s' house to ask his' missus would she kindly get into car & run down to pick me up as it was dark!
Got some ribbing about it after & since! Daft is not the word!

TheCardHolder · 20-09-2009 01:49AM

Waking up in a carboot after a huge houseparty and not remembering how I got there was fun.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 20-09-2009 01:56AM

After a heavy night out in

Foundry in Carlow

a decade ago, me & a mate egged each-other on to take a wizz into public fountain. It's a circular one for those of you that don't know it. He stood at one end

(backing onto Kennedy Ave.)

& I the other

(backing onto Potato Market)

.Sure didn't the peelers come along behind him & pull up beside him giving him time to spot them & leg it. No such luck for me & I didn't even cop (pun not intended though clever nonetheless!) them til one had his' arm on my shoulder & asked me to accompany them down to the station.
I'd the cheek to ask could I finish up first please!
Got the 2 x days out in court coupled with the two-day (mandatory I afaik & good crack too!) alcohol awareness course. At the end of which we got a letter confirming we'd attended. I thought we'd get a certificate or award or prize! Naturally we'd all bonded & went off for a pint to celebrate our' eh, "graduation"!
Got the POA at end of it all. Most expensive slash i've ever taken. Think it was £200 donation to Tidy Towns. Solicitor was £75. I'd've represented myself if it happened today. Would've done a better job!

IrishSerf · 20-09-2009 02:01AM

roaring at the staff in a Chinese restaurant about them bombing Pearl Harbor

moron:o

Time Magazine · 20-09-2009 02:06AM

FearDark wrote: »

Details on this.

She'll never see it.

novarock · 20-09-2009 02:24AM

IrishSerf wrote: »

roaring at the staff in a Chinese restaurant about them bombing Pearl Harbor

moron:o

that is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

I have once walked home from a friends house with half of a Hitler moustache drawn on my face. I went for chips on the way home too. I discovered it the next morning as I was going to work.

I have also woken up using a full Pizza as a pillow.

Sofaspud · 20-09-2009 02:42AM

Time Magazine wrote: »

She'll never see it.

Well you're half right!

AlmightyCushion · 20-09-2009 04:36AM

Not my most embarrassing one but a very recent one. After a night out my housemate comes back to see me on the couch, in a sambuca induced coma. So he wakes me up and tells me to go to bed. I eventually say "ok, ok, I'll go now". So I stand up and stumble forward at a fairly quick pace and smack my head of the wall. I fall to the ground and murmer "on second thoughts, I might just stay here for a bit".

I don't remember any of this but my housemate told me he was laughing for about 10 minutes.

nacho libre · 20-09-2009 05:33AM

the time i thought i was taking a shortcut home only to end up in the yard in mountjoy and being greeted by a friendly alsatian and his handler

DamoDLK · 20-09-2009 11:22AM

Not the worst, but most recent, about 2 weeks ago, finished work early, headed for a pint at 4 o'clock, to a hostel, (cheap pitchers) there until about half 11, upon which time i was thrown out for bringing my beer outside for smoke. Arguing with the doorman, called him an oul proddie, did a wickedly bad ali-g accent 'is it cause i is Irish...'

:o:o:o:o

ParkRunner · 20-09-2009 11:28AM

Last year after I was promoted in work i got a card from the gang in work and we had a night out. The card money was unwisely all spent that night on a very fancy hotel room (2 floors in it, and all the works thrown in). I slept on the sofa in the room and couldnt eat any breakfast!

Naos · 20-09-2009 11:33AM

novarock wrote: »

that is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

I have once walked home from a friends house with half of a Hitler moustache drawn on my face.

What does half a Hitler moustache look like then?

Bajingo · 20-09-2009 11:45AM

Naos wrote: »

What does half a Hitler moustache look like then?

Kind of rectangular?

marcsignal · 20-09-2009 12:25PM

minidazzler wrote: »

Her friend has one eye and is ginger.

could have been worse minidazzler, think what shit you'd be in if you got her pregnant

G_R · 20-09-2009 02:00PM

Naos wrote: »

What does half a Hitler moustache look like then?

kinda like a square i'd say

AckwelFoley · 20-09-2009 02:16PM

IrishSerf wrote: »

roaring at the staff in a Chinese restaurant about them bombing Pearl Harbor

moron:o

Ah yes. I did something similar, however the it was in Subway, and the chinese guy was being a dick head...

To cut a long story short it ended up with him folowing me out to the front of the shop and i doing the "Crane" manovre made famous in the Karate Kid.

The amount of pople that gathered - simply took a fit of laughing at the prospect of me engaging in a fight with this lad, he was no higher off the ground than than my elbow... that said i thought my crane manovre was rather impressive.. luckey he backed down i didnt want to use my KAR - AT -E..lol

Apparently he got his ass kicked a few weeks later by some one else, he was a mouthy lad, a chinese friend of mine that knew him said he was acting the bollox the whole time.. it was only a matter of time before he got clubbed.