Mad Job Titles

darkman2 · 18-08-2009 04:12PM #1

So there I was scrummaging through the paper the other day when I came across an add by a company looking for a "floor technician" - or as I call it a floor sweeper. What's with the titles for these jobs? A dish fitter with sky is apparently an "engineer".

10 years ago job titles were just direct and simple. "Window cleaner", "Floor sweeper" etc - what's with all the technical lingo in basic job descriptions nowadays

Have you come across any strange techical descriptions for menial jobs?

Run_to_da_hills · 18-08-2009 04:15PM

Sanitation engineer = Binman
Door attendant = Bouncer
Kiddy fiddler = Parish priest.

Cookie_Monster · 18-08-2009 04:15PM

darkman2 wrote: »

So there I was scrummaging through the paper the other day when I came across an add by a company looking for a "floor technician"

Is that not someone who makes and lays floors.

Nail Technician - whats wrong beautition, thats what it always was.

_blank_ · 18-08-2009 04:16PM

My dad is a "Vertical Transport Engineer".

Cookie_Monster · 18-08-2009 04:16PM

Des wrote: »

My dad is a "Vertical Transport Engineer".

fixes lifts?

Cookie_Monster · 18-08-2009 04:17PM

Minister for Finance

Keano · 18-08-2009 04:19PM

Vertical Dance Artist

Dave! · 18-08-2009 04:21PM

I used to be a 'Data Entry Administrator'... Always thought that made it sound more impressive than it actually was

thomond2006 · 18-08-2009 04:22PM

Minister for Health

thomond2006 · 18-08-2009 04:24PM

Bank Manager= A guy who wants his dirty paws on all our cash.

Hagar · 18-08-2009 04:24PM

Moderator.

Amberjack · 18-08-2009 04:26PM

Admissions Consultant = Bouncer

Whosbetter? · 18-08-2009 04:27PM

Vision Technician; Window Cleaner

3qsmavrod5twfe · 18-08-2009 04:30PM

Kiinda pisses me off that everone who has to do any sort of manual labour is refered to as an engineer. I had to study for that ****...

Anyway, bizzare job titles...

Retail Vechicle Attendant (shopping trolley collector)

Cookie_Monster · 18-08-2009 04:33PM

Elisha Melodic Burger wrote: »

Kiinda pisses me off that everone who has to do any sort of manual labour is refered to as an engineer. I had to study for that ****...

That is because in Ireland engineer is not a protected term (unlike most of the world). Here the term "Chartered Engineer" is the protected version

frag420 · 18-08-2009 04:34PM

Im currently a Government Artist

thomond2006 · 18-08-2009 04:34PM

frag420 wrote: »

Im currently a Government Artist

Yeah, you draw the dole!!!

:D:D

_blank_ · 18-08-2009 04:35PM

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

fixes lifts?

Used to, but now he's the Inspector in the corpo for all the lifts they own in Dublin.

He's mostly based in Ballymun, but there are several other locations around the city too.

Fizman · 18-08-2009 04:35PM

Financial Irregulator.

donkey balls · 18-08-2009 04:40PM

there is a job on irishjobs.ie for a banana ripener wtf

Drummerboy08 · 18-08-2009 04:40PM

Fuel Injection Technician. Or to you and me, the young lad who puts petrol into cars.

Cookie_Monster · 18-08-2009 04:40PM

Des wrote: »

Used to, but now he's the Inspector in the corpo for all the lifts they own in Dublin.

He's mostly based in Ballymun, but there are several other locations around the city too.

Thats job must have its ups and downs

_blank_ · 18-08-2009 04:44PM

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Thats job must have its ups and downs

You don't know the half of it.

Scumbags do this thing called "lift surfing" where they jimmy open the lift door while it's at the floor below, and jump down onto the lift, and ride it up and down.

He found an dead armless teenager one time, who had slipped as the lift was coming to the floor stop, ripped his arms clean off.

he has also found copious amounts of various drugs, including heroin, coke, blow, ecstasy stashed on top of the lifts.

hobochris · 18-08-2009 04:44PM

It also works in reverse:

Software developer - used to be someone who Designs and Programs, now, Network engineer, Technical support and Psychic have been added to the original job description.

To most end users the title software developer/ software engineer / Programmer means "I Spent 4 years learning nothing but the detailing workings of Microsoft Office and wish to be asked trivial questions on it".

BaconZombie · 18-08-2009 04:44PM

My last job title was:

"Senior Network and Infrastructure Support Analyst for ESA".

donkey balls · 18-08-2009 04:47PM

a company i worked for had guys working in GOCC or global operations control centre

Cookie_Monster · 18-08-2009 04:57PM

Des wrote: »

You don't know the half of it.

Scumbags do this thing called "lift surfing" where they jimmy open the lift door while it's at the floor below, and jump down onto the lift, and ride it up and down.

He found an dead armless teenager one time, who had slipped as the lift was coming to the floor stop, ripped his arms clean off.

he has also found copious amounts of various drugs, including heroin, coke, blow, ecstasy stashed on top of the lifts.

:eek: That is ****ing crazy