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Not sure about having more children

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Comments

  • #32
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again. I just want to say that I appreciate all the replies to my post. You've given me a lot to think about. Out of courtesy to you all, I wanted to let you know that I'm signing off for the night, and will think about everything you've said. I will come back to this thread tomorrow. Thank you all very much.


  • #33
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    If there has been a death in the family then you will often get people thinking about they cycle of life and new life and looking for the comfort that life goes on and that there are new additions to the family. Often people don't make that connection themselves as to why they are thinking that way.


  • #34
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    If there has been a death in the family then you will often get people thinking about they cycle of life and new life and looking for the comfort that life goes on and that there are new additions to the family. Often people don't make that connection themselves as to why they are thinking that way.

    OP here again. Thank you again to everyone for their words of advice. Thaedyal, yes there has been a death in my wife's family in very tragic circumstances. Looking at your words, I can see now that my wife is looking at our own family as a secure place and only wants to make it happier for all of us and I know she has taken great comfort in our daughter during this difficult time.

    I've decided to give this some more thought over the next few weeks and when I can get the words right in my head, I will discuss it with her again. I'm keen not to upset her, so I will have to think long and hard about this.

    Looking back over my own words, I can now see what many have picked up, that I have some issues with my own father and that this is causing me to look negatively at my own parenting abilities. I will seek counselling for this privately.

    I hope that I make the right decision for everyone.

    Again, thank you all for your advice, it's been a huge help to me.


  • #35
    herya
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭herya


    That's great OP and may I say that you show great consideration for your family circumstances and do not make important decisions lightly. Well done.

    Perhaps you could think about the possibility of having another baby a little later - from what you describe you had a hard time recently emotionally and time wise, also you could use a little break for yourself as could your wife. If your wife comes to terms with her loss, your family visits won't have to be so frequent and you'll get your social life back on track as your daughter grows up you might be less resentful towards the idea of more parenting.

    Thaedydal might be right in her last post and also - again something I have not experienced myself but heard of - in difficult times like grievance etc some women take great comfort in a new baby, even its physical presence, smell, sounds especially if they have had other children before and liked the baby period. Your wife might be (consciously or unconsciously) looking for such comfort if she experienced it with your daughter as a baby. Maybe she appears clingy and doesn't want you to spend time away from home for the same reason?

    Well anyway best of luck!


  • #36
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I hope things work out for you and your family it is wonderful to see someone who is willing to look and figure out what is going on in thier life and the different factors that maybe effecting them so that they can make the best informed choices.


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  • #37
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again. Herya and Thaedydal, thank you both again.

    Everyone who posted here has helped me think more clearly about this. There is more than one issue and I now see that. I want to thank you for helping me see that there are a number of things I have to come to terms with and then resolve.

    It's over to me now. Thanks again.


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