Stupid Self-Inflicted Injuries

petethebrick · 24-07-2009 03:24PM

Thought it would be a good idea to have a race against my mate on a running track after a night out. As it was dar didn't see that there was a chain across the track at waist level for some reason of other

=> split head open + puke

Thought it would be a good idea to kick what looked like a cardboard box after a night out. It was actually a steel crate

=> split side open + cracked ribs + puke

Jumpy · 24-07-2009 03:39PM

Zadkiel wrote: »

Impaled my foot on a 6 inch masonry nail
The pain was biblical

I bet you were cross about that

metaoblivia · 24-07-2009 03:44PM

Way back when I was a teenager, I was running across my room (for no real reason other than to run) tripped over a textbook I left on the floor and sprained my ankle.
Another time, I was in gymnastics class, dismounting the balance beam. First rule of any landing - never land with your feet together. Well, I decided to go ahead and try to land with my feet perfectly together. The insides of my ankles came together so hard it split the skin open on one of them. Funny thing though, I didn't even notice my legs were splattered with blood until about ten minutes after the landing, when I was still trying to "walk it off." I still have a small scar on the inside of my ankle from that.

PatB71 · 24-07-2009 03:54PM

A few years ago cycling to work head down in the wind ,never saw the guy pull into the hard shoulder in front of me.I hit the back of the car and went over the handlebars ..shattered the back windscreen with my head and rolled off the back of the car panned out on the ground.Got around 20 stitches in my head and a hard lesson about wearing helmets.

r3nu4l · 24-07-2009 03:56PM

I remember practicing throwing my Swiss army knife in the air and as it tumbled around and around I would catch it by the handle on the way down. I did it 7 times in a row, on the eight occasion I caught it by the blade

There was much bleeding! (Darwinism in action folks!).

One night after a bottle of wine I was washing up the wine glasses. I stuck the dishcloth into the glass to clean it out and there was a 'cracking' sound, followed by shar pain and the basin water going very red, very quickly. I had cut the ring finger on my left hand to the bone, thankfully not severing a tendon.

I ended up in St Jame's Hospital, a nurse saw me, put on some butterfly sutures and told me to go home and that the doctor could stitch it for me the next day and that it would be fine. The doctor told me the next day that it had started to knit back and she could do nothing. Now it's badly scarred.

Unbelievable the amount of men in their with their hands wrapped in bloodstained tea towels that night!

BlackandGold · 24-07-2009 03:57PM

My brother had one of those guns when he was smaller - ya know the ones where you can put caps in and shoot and it makes a pop/gun sound??

He was pretending to be a cowboy putting the gun into his trousers until one day, the gun got stuck on his willy! He was roaring in pain. Myself and my mum had a bit of a giggle about it [meanies aren't we!] imagining taking him to the doctor with a gun attached to his willy!!

We got it off, there was no damage done, I think. .. .. .

I was playing rugby at a neighbours house, got rugby tackled to the ground, walloped my head off their cement wall........walked home and showed my Mum who took me to the doctor - I needed a couple of stitches. The worst part was getting my hair cut off so the doctor could get in to the wound

Smart Bug · 24-07-2009 04:05PM

Lets see:

Got the top of one of my fingers sliced off (sowed back on tho) when I caught it in a door jam.

Sliced open my thumb with a Stanley knife.

Stabbed the same hand with the same knife several weeks later.

The worst has to be when I caught my purple helmet in my zipper once. It bled.

Zadkiel · 24-07-2009 04:11PM

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Fiddle dee dee, did that require a tetanus shot?

Yep :mad:

Having it irrigated was pretty horrible too

dsmythy · 24-07-2009 04:12PM

dsmythy wrote: »

When i was younger i jammed my finger in a door. It's a funny sight a finger with no nail on it...

Smart Bug wrote: »

Got the top of one of my fingers sliced off (sowed back on tho) when I caught it in a door jam.

You win this time Smart Bug!

ceannair06 · 24-07-2009 04:16PM

I sliced the top of my finger off falling over drunk and landing on a dirty milk bottle.

That was unpleasant, particularly as I only cottoned on at 8am the next morning home in bed wondering why I was covered in blood and my hand hurt like feck.

The dumbest has to be getting wazzed on Stella and getting so trousered that I starting talking to my reflecting thinking it was my mate.

Wondered why he'd stopped replying and leaned over to him, falling off the chair and knocking myself clean out - not before hitting my chin and breaking two teeth and my nose.

That was not fun!

IvyTheTerrible · 24-07-2009 04:19PM

Zadkiel wrote: »

Yep :mad:

Having it irrigated was pretty horrible too

Ouch. I have had two tetanus shots recently (first when I cut my hand with a tin, the second when I was getting my shots to go to Africa and the doctor didn't believe me that I already got one in the past year). Arm got really swollen and sore. I feel your pain!

PS you do know I was quoting the Simpsons and not belittling your injury?

petes · 24-07-2009 04:30PM

Just reading the thread about the gun with caps in it.

I had a roll of caps and unravelled a few and while holding them with my left hand, I was hitting them with a hammer. I managed to hit the nail on my left forefinger with the hammer. Ouch. Went all black so a trip to the doctors was in order. He told me to look away (I was a wee lad) and all I could feel was loads of warm blood. He punctured the nail with a hot needle. Nail fell off about a week later.

lynchpin · 24-07-2009 04:59PM

I stood on an upturned plug many a time and bashed my toes of door frames and chairs etc.

Have a scar on my forehead from where I feel as a toddler in a doctor's surgery off all places

Zadkiel · 24-07-2009 05:12PM

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Ouch. I have had two tetanus shots recently (first when I cut my hand with a tin, the second when I was getting my shots to go to Africa and the doctor didn't believe me that I already got one in the past year). Arm got really swollen and sore. I feel your pain!

PS you do know I was quoting the Simpsons and not belittling your injury?

hehehe:D

xOxSinéadxOx · 24-07-2009 05:20PM

Das Kitty wrote: »

I sliced my thumb open (I'm talking the butterflied chicken look) whilst trying to get a tiny bit of foil off a Muller rice tub with an old dirty Stanley knife.

The first worrying thing was that it didn't hurt, the second was that I could make out my thumb's anatomy down to the bone. I wiggled it to see if the tendons were OK, they were but it kinda made my thumb turn inside out and squirt blood on the wall.

They sewed it up but the knuckle lines don't match up with each other anymore.

I know what you mean about not hurting, it's so weird! somebody threw a slate at me and I was like ooww. and it was sort of on the back of my arm so I couldn't see. about an hour later I was like hmm my arm is kind of itchy! and I twisted it around and I was just shocked. it was just this big massive slice, it and was just white with barely any blood. :pac: haha I had to get stitches. why the hell do they not hurt? I could have been going around with that for days without noticing

Gamesnash.ie: Pat · 24-07-2009 05:22PM

Well I used to be a butcher so I have cut myself countless times. Because your hands are numb from the cold you would rarely notice you had gouged yourself. Sometimes you would not notice you had a 2 inch cut until you stuck your hand in the pickle tank to get corned beef or similar - very salty water plus cuts = a very very painful realisation you must have cut yourself.

Away from work when I was a kid I jumped off a scaffolding and landed on a piece of wood with a nail on it. Nail went through my foot - plank of wood stuck to foot and had to hobble home crying with it still attached. I have to say though it wasn't pain of biblical proportions.

That goes to anyone who has caught their knob in their zip. Thankfully never did but a good mate of mine ended up in casualty when he was 14.

:D

Ruu_Old · 24-07-2009 05:22PM

I got injured by a toilet, beat that one.

I forgot to turn off the water mains before I opened took the top off the toilet, disassembled the fill valve which sprayed me in the face with ice cold water. I stumbled around and reached down to twist the metal tap to turn off the water and part of it broke and cut into my hand. I ran out and turned off the main in the other half bath.

Of course only after tidying up did I notice the large cut in my hand, piece of metal that had fallen from it and blood that had splattered all over the house and in pools of the water, my hands were so wet that I didn't notice. It was started like a scene from Laurel and Hardy but ended like something from Silence of the Lambs.

The next day I was eating a Fruit Rollup and I read the trivia thing on the wrapper 'Odds you will be injured by a toilet his year: 1 in 10,000.' Smart bastids!

sdanseo · 24-07-2009 05:31PM

I was a bit of a careless child..decided when I was about 9 that I wanted a keyboard for the PC of the day, in the top press. So, naturally, I climbed on the computer chair to get it. Overbalanced a bit, swung 180 degrees and landed in a box of toy cars, mangling the back of my head. I had the wire of the keyboard in my hand so that of course cam tumbling down and hit the front of my head, in turn knocking the back of my head back into a nasty-looking toy bridge.

End result = about 8 jabs in the back of the head with a needle for the anaesthetic (bloody terrifying) 6 stitches (nicely painless), a tetanus jab and my mother spent the next afternoon cleaning blood spatter off the wall.

no scope · 24-07-2009 05:40PM

Zadkiel wrote: »

Impaled my foot on a 6 inch masonry nail
The pain was biblical

did that myself

went all the way through my shoe aswell

Lins · 24-07-2009 06:12PM

Lived with a very strange girl last year. She went for a walk one Sunday only to find the park closed. She climbed over two fences to get into the desired area. (What kind of park has two fences..? But anyway.) Had a lovely walk and then attempted to leave the park. Climbed over the first fence, fell and broke her leg. Called the ambulance, they couldn't get over the fence to get her so had to call the fire brigade and give her the pregnant woman gas to calm her down.

Oh how I laughed. (Very quietly in my room, she was weird enough to do anything.)

IvySlayer · 24-07-2009 07:02PM

Well once it was snowing heavily and when it stopped a huge ice patch developed, people were sliding on the ice and one girl goes 'Watch this', slides on the ice and breaks both her legs.

As for me, I once ran into a door which was open, ended up with a black eye

Mr Benevolent · 24-07-2009 07:28PM

I really, really feel sorry for A&E doctors now.They should rename it The Stupidity Ward.

(And yes, I've been there too)

TomCo · 24-07-2009 07:33PM

As a child I once leaned out of the bath to try and get a towel off a towel rack. The whole bastard thing collapsed when I put my weight on it and I ended up on the floor all wet with a shattered wrist.

CR 7 · 24-07-2009 07:35PM

During woodwork in secondary school, decided to blow a pile of sawdust off the masterpiece i was working on. However, I managed to blow from directly over it, and the cloud of sawdust went directly into both my eyes. A few hours of using the school eyewash had no effect on it, which meant a trip to A+E to get them washed out, and I had to wear an eyepatch for a few days. Only one for some reason though.

TomCo · 24-07-2009 07:45PM

the_pm_of_17 wrote: »

During woodwork in secondary school, decided to blow a pile of sawdust off the masterpiece i was working on. However, I managed to blow from directly over it, and the cloud of sawdust went directly into both my eyes. A few hours of using the school eyewash had no effect on it, which meant a trip to A+E to get them washed out, and I had to wear an eyepatch for a few days. Only one for some reason though.

Reminds me of the time my trousers nearly caught fire in woodwork, bloody teacher was using the top of a space heater as a desk to demonstrate something. Got too close, started to smoke.

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 24-07-2009 07:50PM

I stood on a cats tail while it was eating, little h00re turned around and dug its teeth straight into my leg, I still have bite marks and that was about six years ago.

yurmothrintites · 24-07-2009 07:50PM

2 weeks ago on holidays, I was trying to demonstrate my brilliant (or not so brilliant) gymnastic abilities in the swimming pool by performing a backflip in the shallow end. Needless to say, in mid air I lost my balance and fell on my nose, breaking it. Have to have surgery now to fix it and missed out on a major holiday with my friends as I had to go to the hospital!:(

barakus · 24-07-2009 08:20PM

Have a mate working in A and E whos always got a few stories from there. Apart from the usual scangers with hatchets sticking out their backs,one woman decided to give her genitals a bit of a spring clean with domestos bleach (ouch), also an elderly gentleman came in with a toilet brush stuck right up his bum(of course he 'fell' onto it):pac:

nicola09 · 24-07-2009 08:28PM

Scalded the face off myself with a 230 degree heat hair curler, kind of across my cheekbone just before a night out. After a few hours, it looked like I'd been punched! The price I pay for vanity.....!

Osgoodisgood · 24-07-2009 09:54PM

this one time, at band camp.....................

Stupid Self-Inflicted Injuries

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