Stupid Self-Inflicted Injuries

az2wp0sye65487 · 24-07-2009 12:31PM #1

So there I was, having my morning shower; giving the aul purple headed cyclops a scrub - gettin all nice and clean. When, all of a sudden, a frayed finger-nail edge scraped across the top of it! There was that split second of sheer horror where you're afraid to look; but all was well. There was no blood, but it could have worked out a lot worse.

So, what stupid things have you done to cause injury to yourself. Things that you instantly regret...

johnny_knoxvile · 24-07-2009 12:38PM

you have to lose the fake nails dude!

WeeBushy · 24-07-2009 12:50PM

Far too many,

Sprained my wrist by punching the ground after losing a pool match,

Broke my toe falling down the stairs completely sober (done that twice actually),

Pulled a muscle in my back picking up my three week old cousin,

And my personal favourite, thought i dislocated my finger in a rugby match so tried a little self treatment by pulling it back into place. Turns out i had actually broken a bone in my hand and just made it worse, the bone was sticking up. Being the eejit I am I played on regardless and needed an operation, six weeks before the lc and got the cast off two days before English paper 1. Four years later my finger is still at a wonky angle, I guess I probably regret that injury the most!

AnonoBoy · 24-07-2009 12:52PM

Using a scissors to trim one's pubic hair while very stoned can lead to horrendous outcomes...... that's all I'm saying on the matter.

Fajitas! · 24-07-2009 12:56PM

Microwaved a jam doughnut and burnt my lip and chin. Bastard of a thing to happen. That was 6 years ago and I've not eaten one since.

Das Kitty · 24-07-2009 01:03PM

I sliced my thumb open (I'm talking the butterflied chicken look) whilst trying to get a tiny bit of foil off a Muller rice tub with an old dirty Stanley knife.

The first worrying thing was that it didn't hurt, the second was that I could make out my thumb's anatomy down to the bone. I wiggled it to see if the tendons were OK, they were but it kinda made my thumb turn inside out and squirt blood on the wall.

They sewed it up but the knuckle lines don't match up with each other anymore.

hick · 24-07-2009 01:04PM

tore 3 ligaments in my ankle and was on crutches for 6 weeks after tripping off steps while doing a knick knack on one of those fancy Georgian houses off leeson bridge (3am and hammered

)

az2wp0sye65487 · 24-07-2009 01:05PM

Das Kitty wrote: »

I sliced my thumb open (I'm talking the butterflied chicken look) whilst trying to get a tiny bit of foil off a Muller rice tub with an old dirty Stanley knife.

The first worrying thing was that it didn't hurt, the second was that I could make out my thumb's anatomy down to the bone. I wiggled it to see if the tendons were OK, they were but it kinda made my thumb turn inside out and squirt blood on the wall.

They sewed it up but the knuckle lines don't match up with each other anymore.

ouch....

piby · 24-07-2009 01:09PM

I've said this before but I set my finger on fire using the microwave!

Also ****ed up one of my knuckles beating up an ATM machine . . .

Jumpy · 24-07-2009 01:12PM

Das Kitty wrote: »

I sliced my thumb open (I'm talking the butterflied chicken look) whilst trying to get a tiny bit of foil off a Muller rice tub with an old dirty Stanley knife.

The first worrying thing was that it didn't hurt, the second was that I could make out my thumb's anatomy down to the bone. I wiggled it to see if the tendons were OK, they were but it kinda made my thumb turn inside out and squirt blood on the wall.

They sewed it up but the knuckle lines don't match up with each other anymore.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG *pukes*

The Big Red Button · 24-07-2009 01:14PM

I got a long straight burn across my tummy taking a pizza out of the oven while tipsy. (It's one of those ovens where the door opens down the way.)

When I was younger (about 6-7) I didn't believe my dad about how dangerous Stanley knives are, so in a fit of rebellion I decided to run the blade across the palm of my hand. There was nothing for about 10 seconds, so I sat there feeling very smug and righteous, then my hand started pumping blood for aaaages. And I was too stubborn to tell my parents so I just waited for it to heal up by itself, don't know how they never noticed, I'd a scar across my hand for years!

Actually I tend to injure my hands and arms a lot (just through clumsiness, nothing intentional!) I've broken both bones in my right arm, got a massive infected burn from an iron on my right wrist, got stabbed with a Stanley blade (again!) and needed 5 stitches on my right arm, got a cigarette burn on the back of my left hand and had a huge painful allergic reaction to the aloe vera stuff I put on it, dislocated a finger, got a wasp sting on my knuckle which stayed swollen for months and is still there ... and those are just some of the more recent ones! I should just stay at home and wrap myself up in cotton wool

Zadkiel · 24-07-2009 01:20PM

Impaled my foot on a 6 inch masonry nail

The pain was biblical

Fajitas! · 24-07-2009 01:22PM

chatterpillar wrote: »

When I was younger (about 6-7) I didn't believe my dad about how dangerous Stanley knives are, so in a fit of rebellion I decided to run the blade across the palm of my hand. There was nothing for about 10 seconds, so I sat there feeling very smug and righteous, then my hand started pumping blood for aaaages. And I was too stubborn to tell my parents so I just waited for it to heal up by itself, don't know how they never noticed, I'd a scar across my hand for years!

That made me make that "fffffft" noise people make when they hear tales of other peoples pain. Christ. F*ck. Ouch.

This didn't happen to me, but christ, did it 's up there with the stupidest self injuries... One of the lads decided to climb over one of those 8 foot fences instead of taking the long way around. On getting to the top of the other side of the fence, and trying to jump off, he impaled his shoulder on the spikes at the top and got stuck up there. He wouldn't be the tallest of chaps and had to be lifted back off it to get him down. Stomach still turns at the thoughts of it.

IvyTheTerrible · 24-07-2009 01:22PM

Speaking of fingers, a relative of my OH has no index finger on her right hand. I'm dying to know what happened to it (morbid curiosity) but I think it would be rude to ask, seeing as I don't know her too well!

IvyTheTerrible · 24-07-2009 01:23PM

Zadkiel wrote: »

Impaled my foot on a 6 inch masonry nail
The pain was biblical

Fiddle dee dee, did that require a tetanus shot?

xzanti · 24-07-2009 01:27PM

Got pretty bad carpet burn on my knees once

I was a 6, it was from letting my sister pull me along the carpet..

bluto63 · 24-07-2009 01:28PM

Funny, as i was reading this i was re-stringing my guitar and I managed to stab myself with the ends of one of the strings. It's currently bleeding

KTRIC · 24-07-2009 01:39PM

Sliced a lump off my thumb when working on my bike. It went down past the skin and I could see the fat :eek:

Did the same thing on my little finger a couple of weeks later.

Have a couple of nice scars on my hand now. Damn I'm hard :cool:

Wossack · 24-07-2009 01:50PM

have a scar on my hand from when I was younger. Cycling up my driveway on my raleigh burner and my right shoelace gets wound up in the pedals. Que me toppling over 'felled-oak' like, and grinding the top of my hand along the edge of one of the pillars at the entrance to the driveway. Didnt hurt iirc, but was all white and stuff inside

a friends brother was acting the maggot in a scrapyard, walkin over wrecked cars etc and his foot goes through a rusty hole in the roof of one, and tears his kneecap right off :eek:

Pyr0 · 24-07-2009 01:51PM

bluto63 wrote: »

Funny, as i was reading this i was re-stringing my guitar and I managed to stab myself with the ends of one of the strings. It's currently bleeding

Did that with my fretting hand, right into the middle of my thumb. Couldn't rest my thumb against the neck for ages without it killing me.

Similar to what happened to a guy in a previous post, a mate of mine cliimbed up over a fence to pass through a field as a short cut, fell and had his shin impaled on the spikes so he hung there by it. Had to pull himself from it as there was no one around to help ! Painful stuff.

Killme00 · 24-07-2009 01:57PM

Working in a bar in Edinburgh many moons ago, i was slicing Lemons, Oranges and Limes for the shift when the new Jenifer lopez video came on the tv. I proceeded to cut off the tip of my thumb while mesmerised by her ass. With all the lemon and lime juice all over the knife it was very painful. When i told the nurse in the Royal Infirmary what happened she laughed so much she couldnt stitch it back on and had to get soemone else to do it.

keano_afc · 24-07-2009 02:08PM

Any injury I've had has been self inflicted. Broke my ankle playing dodge ball, just by jumping up and catching the ball and landing awkwardly. Broke a finger by catching a football at a bad angle (hard to explain, this one). Got a very nasty burn on my hand in secondary school by having sword fights with soldering irons. And the best one, I used to work in a printers. One day I was watching plates go through the machine, and for some reason I decided to stick my index finger in between 2 gears. Nearly ripped the whole thing off and I was left with a mangled finger and a very red face.

I'm a lot more careful these days.

Aisling(",) · 24-07-2009 02:50PM

Managed to burn my stomach with the edge of an iron leaving a nice little scar before.Ironing a top before wearing it and me being the smart person i am leant over to unplug the iron not copping my stomach would hit the burning hot iron.

Have a dent on my shin where i split it to the bone and got 8 stitches in it.fell while jumping from bench to bench in a pool changing room.

Just above that ive another dent and scar which i got from walking into the corner of part of a waltzers rig.bled for aaages but i couldnt make a big deal of it because i was out with a guy I liked and was trying to appear cool.:o

On holiday three weeks ago managed to crash a quad into a pillar and gate taking them both down and thrashing the quad.if the grand and a half in damages wasnnt enough when i flipped the quad bounced my leg off the ground and cracked my head into the ground.Had to go to hospital 3 times over there and was covered in bruises and couldnt walk proparly for days.
lovely big sex bruise was left on my tigh aswell:rolleyes:
http://file049b.bebo.com/13/large/2009/07/10/21/911016142a11201338886l.jpg

Katarn1 · 24-07-2009 02:54PM

Apart from the usual bumps and bruises the worst I got was I fractured tail bone twice. Both times slipped on ice.

First time fell back onto the sharp edge of a small wall that was about 2 foot high and hit it squarely with my tail bone.

Second was durin last ice we had, headin home locked from pub slipped and came down on the edge of the kerb, again, square on the tail bone. Only time I've ever blacked out from pain.....the drink helped though.

jebuz · 24-07-2009 03:04PM

Sliced my finger with a sheet of tinfoil last week, cut me deep, cut me real deep.

dsmythy · 24-07-2009 03:14PM

Now now people, self-harming is a serious subject...

When i was younger i jammed my finger in a door. It's a funny sight a finger with no nail on it...

Quazzie · 24-07-2009 03:16PM

I once accidentally my whole leg!

IvyTheTerrible · 24-07-2009 03:17PM

dsmythy wrote: »

Now now people, self-harming is a serious subject...

When i was younger i jammed my finger in a door. It's a funny sight a finger with no nail on it...

Ayyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

IvyTheTerrible · 24-07-2009 03:18PM

Quazzie wrote: »

I once accidentally my whole leg!

You once accidentally what your whole leg?? Chopped it off? Ate it? Come on don't leave us in suspense! :pac:

Leftyflip · 24-07-2009 03:19PM

bluto63 wrote: »

Funny, as i was reading this i was re-stringing my guitar and I managed to stab myself with the ends of one of the strings. It's currently bleeding

Pffft, sliced my finger open playing a solo, actually I did it again last night...
I'm off to play guitar...

LeTache · 24-07-2009 03:23PM

I went into town last night, wearing my usual attire of a beautiful brown top-hat and driving goggles. I was confronted by some drunk scobes in Mcdonald's who stole my beloved hat, seriously injuring my feelings. There's a whole other rambling thread on AH about it, it hurt that much.

Stupid Self-Inflicted Injuries

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