Cockblockers

Ah more words of wisdom form Mr.K

Cockblockers are the most annoying people on earth.

dylano_k wrote: »

Nothin wrong with it at all....but his threat was that id be living on the beach for the week haha

Was that robocop saying that to you?(Guy with voicebox) :P

I remember i was talkin to a girl at a house party alone, then my friend came over and butted in, put me right off her, walked away then couldnt bother. Then another night we met these american girls in a pub. There were other friends there too and i was takin the piss out of the american one then i said im going for a smoke. Anyways she was like, oh wait ill come too, wait for me and as soon as i got out and she came out my friend came out aswell cause he liked her. anyways i was talkin to her and it was going well, i showed her a painting i done, then my friend like a child butted in and said look at the painting i done. he doesnt know he does it and if you tell him he does it, he thinks he possibly couldnt do that.

Whats worse is when the girl you're chatting up is there with her mates, ad her mates are the ones who block your cock.

It always happens. You're in the club/pub, you get chatting to someone you like, you're sharing laughs, you're sharing drinks - you're in there. Its coming up to the vital moment, the moment you journeyed to this dingey, overpriced ****hole specificially for. The moment that you cruelly abandoned your always-welcoming, sweet-tasting alcohol specifically to realise. The moment you actually had to dance for - in public - a horror worse than any other, I'm sure most men will agree.

Its time for the moment. Its time to exchange - either bodily fluids, or else numbers. It doesn't matter which. This is THE moment.

But, suddenly, her inevitably fat (and viciously ugly) 'friend' oozes on over between you and your partner. Usually, she plods down in the seat next to you, always, she is in floods of tears. The reason for the sudden outburst ? Who knows. Probably nothing. Her feet hurt a little from all the dancing, maybe. Perhaps because nobody would dance with her when her favourite song was playing (inevitably either something by Pink or "I will Survive"). Sadly, she never cries because she has had the sudden realisation that she is an ugly, vacuous, annoying, loud-mouthed bitch. No, its never because she has realised that her one, true pride and joy, her breasts, though huge in size, are dwarfed in comparison to the folds of fat that envelop her entire body.

No, instead she has decided to ruin your moment, and the moment of many other guys in the club too, forcing all of her friends to "console" her in this, her true time of need, her 37th mental breakdown this week. The cockblockess, now aware of the deathstare she is receiving from every man in the room, assembles her group by her side and slowly they stumble into the outside world, leaving behind them a group of angry, tired, blue-balled men.

The women then return to their place of residence, unhappy and unsatisfied...and at this point, my observation turns to speculation, but, personally, I like to imagine that upon arrival, all of the women, decide that it would be best for them to help each other to peel off each other's sweat-adhered clothing. Somewhere along the line a pillow enters the equation, and here is where the naked pillow fights begin, and, well, its pretty easy to see where the making out comes from after this...

The men ? The image of this helps them to cope with their blue-balls, and after a furious two minutes of work in the club bathroom, they leave feeling perfectly healthy once again.

The cycle continues, but it would be so much easier without the cockblockess. Why do good-looking women always have fat, annoying, cock-blocking friends ?