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Stupid things you say without realising

  • 22-06-2009 11:51PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,054 ✭✭✭


    Worst one I'm guilty of (recently at least) happened in a conversation a few weeks ago when a friend of mine was telling a small group of us about her holiday and happened to mention a guy she had met over there. This was followed by a lull in the conversation which was filled with me saying: "But I thought you had a boyfriend ******." Cue a sea of stormy faces glaring at me and her mumbling something about being dumped.

    Later I was accused of being insensitive about her breakup and unfairly accusing her of cheating.

    I get what they mean but at the time I was honestly just making conversation.

    Any more interesting conversational faux pas' out there?


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    : Congratulations!
    : eh, what for?
    : the baby :confused:
    *smack*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Me: *drops something* "Oh shít!"
    Woman: "Don't curse in front of my child!"
    Me: "Oh fúck, sorry!"

    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I was on MSN a few weeks back chatting to a friend of mine who is the leader of some country out in the Middle East somewhere. Told him it'd be gas craic to rig an election just to see if he could get away with it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 431 ✭✭aido179


    When i'm describing what I sell a work, I always end my sentances with "and that sort of stuff" for example:
    "oh we do tshirts, bar aprons, polos, and that sort of stuff"
    "next wednesday or thursday or that sort of stuff..."
    etc etc...sometimes it doesn't even make sense...i think its a nervous reaction. i also tend to fold my arms and pinch my neck under my chin...it took a week of wierd red patches to figure out what i was doing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 103 ✭✭dunnomede?


    funniest i heard was when a girls watch broke and she said "huh when did that happen?"


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    <clicks View all Posts by Senna>

    Yep plenty of things


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 932 ✭✭✭PaulieD


    As a young fella after a few beves,

    Garda: On the beer laaads?

    PaulieD: No, on the vodka ya dope!

    Gards: Come here to me you, your going down de station.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 645 ✭✭✭TriceMarie


    Was with a friend one time in town.
    I had a brown belt on my jacket,
    which in my state of boredom started to swing and says to her:
    "Haha look,brown willy"
    Just as I said it,a black man walks by with a look of horror on his face!:eek::o
    I could have died!




    One night with a different friend,
    we were on our way out to the clubs.
    Already quite drunk from peach snapps (which I got in Tenerife)
    And trying to quote the Carlsberg ad,
    I said to her:
    "Oh man,peach snapps mmm...:p
    If Tenerife did holidays...."
    NUU!!!:o DOPE!!:p LOL


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Was walking down O'Connell street with a mate and a junkie came over to us with his hand's cupped... asked us to "help him out..." i promptly replied... "You're already out, run while you've got a headstart"

    - Drav!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,587 ✭✭✭Pace2008


    Waitress: Enjoy your meal!

    Me: Thanks, you too!


    ...


    (Oh ****, that doesn't make any sense).


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭sneakerfreak


    "Cheers"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭GlindaGale


    Talking to a girl I know last week when she said something real smart ass to me (I forget now what it was) but I retorted with "that's what yer ma said". Then the horrible realisation set in that her mother had recently died. Oh god.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 6,778 ✭✭✭TheIrishGrover


    Used to work in a arcade/funfair in Cork. Roads went either side of the building but at different levels so part of the funfair was at the level of the upper road and part was at the level of the lower road. Man comes in one day and asks me "Excuse me but is there an upstairs to this building" I replied, without thinking "No, but there's a downstairs" and walked away. 2 secs later: What did I just say?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,513 ✭✭✭Sleipnir


    Girlfriend when working in Mamas & Papas: "When's your baby due? It must be soon"
    Customer: "I had it 6 weeks ago"
    "......"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭upmeath


    Most recent one would have been, "sure it's twelve of one and half a dozen of the other" :confused: I'd had a big night out the night before :(


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭Fink Goddie


    Years ago was talking to a blind woman i worked with, she said how did your debs go, i replied yeh it was great, did you see my photos yet.

    DOH!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 343 ✭✭Amy33


    Was talking to a really straight laced girl I had gone to school with who had just had a baby, I said "oh I never knew you had got married", she hadn't...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 161 ✭✭Dovers


    Well wisher- "Ah it's your birthday Dovers Happy Birthday!"

    Dovers- "Ah cheers, Happy Birthday!"

    Well Wisher- "Eh, it's not my birthday"

    Dovers- "Oh yeah, sorry"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    liah wrote: »
    Me: *drops something* "Oh shít!"
    Woman: "Don't curse in front of my child!"
    Me: "Oh fúck, sorry!"

    :pac:

    I know I've done this before!


    A kinda recentish one was on Fathers day. A friend of mine was working on this day and asked me to drop a card into her dad. Now I know her mum has been in hospital (still is) and ask her frequently how she is doing. So I left the car running and legged it in with the card. Her dad had some nice clothes on and the hair was looking good (normally all over the show).. And as fcuking usual because I'm always in a hurry and completely miss the finer details and generally come across as insensitive for it..

    I said "Cool, so you going out for a few Fathers day drinks then?"

    Him "Well no, I'm going in to see how the wife is doing"


    It should have been the first thing that I asked ffs! Mightnt seem like a huge deal, but I felt fcuking stupid :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,110 ✭✭✭Aodan83


    GlindaGale wrote: »
    Talking to a girl I know last week when she said something real smart ass to me (I forget now what it was) but I retorted with "that's what yer ma said". Then the horrible realisation set in that her mother had recently died. Oh god.
    Mate of mine did something like this once. Our maths teacher was out for a few weeks and we were told that it was because his wife had died. A few days after he came back, he was singing to himself or something (not in a crazy way) and my mate hears him and goes "I bet you serenade Mrs. X every night, eh" ;) and goes back to what he was doing. I honestly couldn't beleive what I had just heard. Teacher seemed to kind of ignore it, and yerman hadn't a clue what he had just said. Was happy out til I pointed out his mistake.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,390 ✭✭✭Stench Blossoms


    I wrote a card to someone in hospital

    "Miss you like a hole in the head" completely forgetting they actually had a hole in the head.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 359 ✭✭jigglywoo


    Last week I was at a pub quiz in aid of breast cancer. Got inside and I was feeling my hair to see if it was bumpy because I tied it up without brushing it.
    Then I said to my friend "I found a lump", totally forgot about the breast cancer thing but luckily nobody else heard me.

    Years ago we were in an opticians looking at a variety of coloured lenses. I saw purple ones and said "jaysus you'd look like a f*cking albino with those ones" Then I turned around and a little albino kid was behind me.

    A few years ago coming out of school one day same friend was walking beside me but something was in her shoe so she was walking funny. I said to her "stop walking like a retard" but when I looked up two seconds later a little kid was walking towards us a couple feet away with a little zimmer frame.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,931 ✭✭✭az2wp0sye65487


    orla wrote: »
    I wrote a card to someone in hospital

    "Miss you like a hole in the head" completely forgetting they actually had a hole in the head.

    If I was in hospital with a hole in my head and got that, I like to think it would make me laugh.

    Sure isn't laughter the best medicine after all! You probably aided in that person's recovery.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,390 ✭✭✭Stench Blossoms


    If I was in hospital with a hole in my head and got that, I like to think it would make me laugh.

    Sure isn't laughter the best medicine after all! You probably aided in that person's recovery.

    Yeh he actually thought it was funny but didn't read it until 2 months later when he came out of his coma.

    His family however thought it was very disrespectful :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭smileysurfer


    really put my foot in it when my (black) counsin told me that she was going on holidays and it was 30 degrees there,
    me : ''sur you'l come back black''!!
    oh dear!! :eek:
    Thanksfully She saw the funny side!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,072 ✭✭✭SeekUp


    I used to work for a literary agency, and when the receptionist used to take lunch or take bathroom breaks, I'd usually fill in and answer the phones. One day during one of her breaks, I'm sitting at the front desk and reading when a coworker comes up to me and asks, "Where's Judy?" "Oh," I said, "she's in the potty."

    Apparently I was three years old that day . . .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,668 ✭✭✭✭Busi_Girl08


    One day I was with my friends in Penny's, looking at the jeans. One of my friends said something about the buttons on the jeans and if the have a hole in them it means they are cheap crap.

    I looked down at the jeans I was wearing (ie the ones I already owned). What does Busi Girl say?

    "Oh yay look I don't have a hole, I'm all class!!"

    It took me about 10 seconds to realise...

    My friend texted me a year later then "Remember when we were in Pennys and you said you were classy because you didn't have a hole? Good times...."

    Not my brightest of moments...:o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    We at home love a nice Chinese takeaway.....son hates it though.


    Was walking down Parnell Street in Dublin with the wee man himself.....he is sniffing the air saying ''Ughhhhh mammy the smell of chinese around here is horrible''......guess what nationality everyone around us was....................(well Asian anyway)




    And no I do not condone racism of any sort....It was all innocent....It just didnt come out of his mouth that way...I was mortified....Oh and he likes to sing the Bodyform song at the top of his voice on packed buses when his with his dad(his auntie taught him for such occasions!!)

    Oh and sitting beside elderly people on the bus is difficult also when he tends to proclaim ''mammy WHATS that smell''.

    Thank god I have a car now....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 520 ✭✭✭batari


    Like most lads, Im guilty of the 'when's it due' sentence.

    Old School friend, hadn't seen her in years. Woulda been that sort of, hugs every day in school type of friend. Anyhoo, about two years after I'd last seen her, knowing she was either pregnant or had just 'popped the sprog', in the middle of a strange uncomfortable haven't seen ya in so long silence, I utter the deathly phrase 'when's it due' to the haunt you for years response 'I had him a month ago ya prick'.
    Still see her around, strangely enough we walk past each other like we never met.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,187 ✭✭✭keefg


    .......I Love You.


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