What's it like to be in your 30s?

Noffles · 11-06-2009 11:04AM

This year I leave my thirties and hit my forties... since things dramatically improved for me when I hit thirty for the first half of them I felt fine, since then though I think life has done what I would call "caught up with me"... for the last three years at least I have been "concerned" about how my job provides for everyone in my family and if it were to be compromised how it would affect us...

And as someone above stated, I feel time is more relevant to me these days... And if I do something I should REALLY do it, be it relax, workout or work itself, life now really does appear to be too short.

topper75 · 11-06-2009 11:37AM

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

As an aside, I've often gone out on work nights out and spent half the night talking about work because I actually enjoy(ed) what I do. The worst thing on these occasions is when someone comes along and goes "Come on, this is a night out, let's forget about work and have some fun", which invariably kills all conversation stone dead and wipes the animated look from people's faces.

I can only deduce Sir that you work in the adult entertainment industry! :pac:. I doubt it is IT anyway.

11-06-2009 11:45AM

ntlbell wrote: »

but being in IT means you know how to tunnel the traffic across various ssh connections to leave the admin's scratching their head's :rolleyes:

Its funny that IT people always look at the technical way to hide their tracks, when its the basic looking at someone's screen that gives them away. Any manager worth anything will check their staff personally at different stages just to be a help to them, and in doing so will often catch out the very people that seek to be lazy in this manner. And I know you were being sarcastic, but the point stands, and most IT people would seek to make their non-working actions invisible. Makes them feel more clever. :rolleyes:

The Corinthian wrote:

What happens if you don't? You do know what the basic state pension is at present (no guarantee that that there will even be one in another few decades)? It's essentially being on the Dole until you die. Not pretty.

There are always other options, especially if you choose to live outside of Ireland. But saving towards a pension remains the best thing to do if you wish to have a better retirement, and life in older age. My own pension amount is tiny, due to my own stupidity in my 20's. However, I have other plans in place to help me in the future.

The Corinthian wrote:

think most managers are aware of the fact that people cannot in reality work 'solidly' throughout the day and will take breaks, either to have a smoke, surf the Web or grab a coffee. In fact, there have been numerous studies that have shown that there are real productivity benefits to taking breaks.

Which is why there is some leeway for a few trips to the toilet or for a smoke, although smoking during working hours is becoming more and more frowned upon. The difference is that if you're taking these breaks while working hard, it will show in the employee's work. If they're taking these breaks, just to get away from their desk, or their work, it too will show. And after some time, a manager will take that employee aside for a little chat.

tallaght01 · 11-06-2009 12:34PM

It's weird hitting 30. I'm 31, and there's a definite psychological barrier I crossed when I hit my thirties.

I've started worrying about things like cholesterol! Never gave my long term health much of a thought when I was in my 20s. Now I start thinking about how your arteries really ramp up the clogging process in your thirties. So, tonight I had pasta and fish for dinner, and made 3 fruit salads for the next few days' lunches. :P

I also started thinking that I should do more "stuff". I took up drumming when I was 29, and now have a poxy little occasional "garage band" with a few guys I work with.
I took up martial arts when I turned 30, and was surprised at how many guys took it u at the same age. I'm also halfway through a masters degree.

I also take stuff a lot less seriously. I laugh smugly at the people in work who are younger than me and are obsessed with their careers. I was the same, and gave most of my late teens and early 20s to my career.

I even look at things like boards, and wonder how some people take it so seriously. In a short life, I can't get into banning and infracting people. Likewise with my hobbies...I do them, but I don't try and excel. I just enjoy them.

I've also wanted to take my career a certain low paid route for years, but never had the guts. Even my dad, who's quite the socialist, thinks I'm mad. But when I hit 30, I decided that's the way i was going, and I've turned my career 360 degrees and couldn't be happier.

So, to sum up my thirties so far....I'm poorer than when I was in my 20s, and am likely to stay that way pretty much forever. I've more hobbies than I've ever had, and I'm more exhausted than I've ever been. I'm not allowed eat sweets any more, and I spend 18 hours a week in college with people 10 years younger than me.

Recipe for misery, but couldn't be happier

waitinforatrain · 11-06-2009 01:35PM

Thank you for all the replies, very insightful.

The question I asked is really masking a deeper question.

It's difficult to avoid the cliche teenage "**** the system" kind of phrases here. It's not that I ever stopped believing in that, but that it seemed so futile I just had to stop and get on with life. Is it the same for everyone or is this not something that everyone thinks about?

There always seemed to be something wrong with the world, and I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. I'm sitting in work again today in my cubicle staring at the screen and it's sunny as hell outside. I was walking past a field earlier that I used to play in when I was younger and they're digging it up and building something there. It's weird to think that every day there's less and less green space.

I used to think that it was orchestrated, a conspiracy by some invisible man to destroy the world for personal gain. I know now that it's not the case, it's just the net force of every person trying to get by in a flawed system. As Allen Ginsberg said, "Imprisoned in the giant machine we are conditioned to its terms".

But I couldn't see this cubicle life as a life worth living. Excuse the rant.

11-06-2009 02:28PM

waitinforatrain wrote: »

Thank you for all the replies, very insightful.

The question I asked is really masking a deeper question.

It's difficult to avoid the cliche teenage "**** the system" kind of phrases here. It's not that I ever stopped believing in that, but that it seemed so futile I just had to stop and get on with life. Is it the same for everyone or is this not something that everyone thinks about?

Not for me, really. Sure, I rebelled against my parents, and what was expected of me. Or rather what i thought was expected of me. It didn't help my ego all that much, that they were actually happy regardless of what I did, and I had imagined their disapproval for my "black sheep" ways.

People like to believe the world is about them. Its not. In fact, the world doesn't really give a damn about your life. Once you realise that, you'll feel a remarkable sense of freedom.

There always seemed to be something wrong with the world, and I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. I'm sitting in work again today in my cubicle staring at the screen and it's sunny as hell outside. I was walking past a field earlier that I used to play in when I was younger and they're digging it up and building something there. It's weird to think that every day there's less and less green space.

Personally, I think you're projecting your own dissatisfaction with your own life on to the world. Its common enough from what I can see. Once you become more comfortable and happy with your own decisions in your life, the rest will fall into place. Instead of seeing negatives with change/time, you'll see positives. As I said earlier it comes down to each persons perceptions.

I used to think that it was orchestrated, a conspiracy by some invisible man to destroy the world for personal gain. I know now that it's not the case, it's just the net force of every person trying to get by in a flawed system. As Allen Ginsberg said, "Imprisoned in the giant machine we are conditioned to its terms".

I have always wondered why we have career guidance teachers in schools, or business subjects, but we don't have motivation & planning subjects. Subjects that would encourage us to set realistic, and enjoyable goals for the future. Instead we're encouraged to conform to certain limited industries, and told that this is the way it must be. Play the safe way, and set yourself up for the future.

I'm not big into conspiracies. Sure, there are some out there who have plans which might affect us, but for most of us, we're too insignificant to be factored in.

But I couldn't see this cubicle life as a life worth living. Excuse the rant.

Then get out. Do it tomorrow. Hand in your notice, and spend the weekend deciding what you do want to do. And then just do it. Life is about living. I won't say I wasted my 20's when I was in work, since I learned a lot about myself and others doing so. But, I could have enjoyed myself much more had I just focused on what brought me joy, and still have led a financially productive life.

Seriously. None of us are going to get out of this life alive.. So why make yourself miserable just to earn some euro's that are easily spent anyway...

metrovelvet · 11-06-2009 09:13PM

Pensions. Ha. I started one when I was 22,back when I was responsible. And now its caput. First 911 got it with that crash and now its dead with the recent calamaties. Millions of others are in the same boat, some about to retire. Under a mattress is the way to go.

Contrary to most others, mortality, first my fathers death, when the health insurance company refused to pay the bill and i was left with a 60k bill and a funeral to pay for at the age of 23, and then 911 where it seemed like everyone lost everything, sent me to a faithlessness in anykind of insurences or stability. So i guess im doing it backwards.

11-06-2009 10:21PM

metrovelvet wrote: »

Pensions. Ha. I started one when I was 22,back when I was responsible. And now its caput. First 911 got it with that crash and now its dead with the recent calamaties. Millions of others are in the same boat, some about to retire. Under a mattress is the way to go.

Contrary to most others, mortality, first my fathers death, when the health insurance company refused to pay the bill and i was left with a 60k bill and a funeral to pay for at the age of 23, and then 911 where it seemed like everyone lost everything, sent me to a faithlessness in anykind of insurences or stability. So i guess im doing it backwards.

Ditto. My hope is that I can make a reasonable profit from my house whenever the market comes back, and then move to asia. Reinvest there. My future doesn't exist in the west. I've learned that I love Asia (China), and even better I love a certain Chinese girl. I've had enough of the decadence of the west. lol.

DublinWriter · 14-06-2009 10:01PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I've learned that I love Asia (China), and even better I love a certain Chinese girl. I've had enough of the decadence of the west. lol.

Yeah? Well, you ain't seen nothing till you've seen the decadence of the east.

14-06-2009 10:51PM

DublinWriter wrote: »

Yeah? Well, you ain't seen nothing till you've seen the decadence of the east.

I lived in China for quite a while, and have been to a fair number of other Asian countries. I guess I'm just "one of those people" that prefers Asia to "the West".

Firetrap · 15-06-2009 02:19AM

I think life experience and greater maturity make the 20s and 30s different from each other. As a person, I'm far more comfortable with myself now than I was back in my 20s and I'm not so worried what other people think of me. I don't care if others don't like my hobbies/interests, my taste in music etc. I think too that I'm better at dealing with people now and that the rough edges have been knocked off me. I've also met some interesting people in my private and working lives and have learned a lot from them. In work, I've benefited from meeting and getting to know people who are older than me.

In my private life, I've had to deal with some serious illnesses in the family. When you've spent as much time in hospitals and nursing homes as I have in the last half dozen years, it's hard not to think about what's coming down the line. I am definitely thinking more about what I eat, what I drink and about getting more exercise.

I think a big difference between my 20s and 30s is focus. I spent most of my 20s not having a clue what I wanted really. I finished college and fell into a series of jobs that were OK but not going anywhere. The idea of saving up a few bob never even entered my head. There always seemed to be plenty of time ahead of me. When you get into your 30s, there are cut-off points looming. Like retirement dates, when you can't have kids any more without the help of dodgy Romanian doctors, how many years it will take to pay back that mortgage.

Career-wise, I'm very happy that I have a job. I don't think many people have a job that makes them wake up in the morning and go "Yippee, I'm off to work today" but I would hope most people have a job which they don't mind going into. I'm old enough to remember the 80s - the growing numbers of unemployed people, the dole queues, the emigration. It's stopped me ever taking a job for granted and makes me value what I have.

Porkpie · 18-06-2009 04:47PM

30 is just around the corner for me. Through reading these posts I've gained more insight into how priorities change and how lessons are learned as we age. I always had this irrational fear of hitting the 30s, thinking that my carefree days are over, that life will get more boring and joyless. I'm kind of stuck in a rut in many ways, unfulfilled, in a soul destroying job, have little motivation and am generally coasting through life. Reading the posts has given me a kick in the behind and got me thinking about the changes I need to make in my life. Life really is short. Thanks everyone for opening my eyes.

What's it like to be in your 30s?

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