Wierdest thing ever to wake you up

leeroybrown · 10-10-2002 06:50PM #1

Whats the wierdest thing you ever woke up to?

I was woken up this morning not by my alarm clock but by a dog standing on my head.

Now some of you with dogs mightn't find this strange, but I don't have a dog, I've never had a dog and no-one in my house has a dog.

One of the lads let a dog into the house then put it into my room to piss me off.

Wierd it was, but funny!

Karl Hungus · 10-10-2002 06:59PM

I once was woken up by a stark bollock naked Austrailian girl at a hostel only the other week. Odd thing is, she didn't care I was staring at her.

Mr.Applepie · 10-10-2002 07:00PM

Originally posted by AngelWhore
I once was woken up by a stark bollock naked Austrailian girl at a hostel only the other week. Odd thing is, she didn't care I was staring at her.

Good looking stark bollock naked Australian girl?

azezil · 10-10-2002 07:02PM

condemed house in my a puddle of my own (i think) puke

middle of a wall in same house

at bottom of stairs of same house

good nite

phaxx · 10-10-2002 07:03PM

Smacking my head into the thick supporting wall beside my bed. Hows that?

Blade · 10-10-2002 07:39PM

Being woken by 5 cops standing over me with a warrant in my face. It wasn't me I didn't do nothing tho I swear.

Karl Hungus · 10-10-2002 07:44PM

Originally posted by Mr.Applepie
Good looking stark bollock naked Australian girl?

Very...

I also woke up naked in a bathtub filled with my own vomit in London.

PiE · 10-10-2002 07:50PM

I woke up to the not-so-pleasant sight of my sisters ex climbing in the back window at 3am the day she dumped him.

BuffyBot · 10-10-2002 08:12PM

Wasn't directly woken up by it - but by my housemate who decided to tell me there was a naked drunk man urinating in his bedroom wardrobe....a guy staying in our house hit the vodka a little bit heavily..

TacT · 10-10-2002 08:24PM

A feckin bat trying to get out of my attic room in a mate's house in France which I probably didn't hear all night cus I was out for the count when i came back after a dwinkie sesiunta..

Kai · 10-10-2002 08:26PM

Dunno about weird but the worst way i ever woke up was when my guitar fell off a shelf and hit me in the face. it was about 7 o clock in the morning after a house party.
one of my friends had been drunkenly playing it and didnt put it back properly, i still bear the scars.

GoneShootin · 10-10-2002 08:50PM

a lamb's arse against my face

i kid you not !

the sister brought one in home early one morn from the field with the direct purpose of doing just that....

b!tch

Gordon · 10-10-2002 09:02PM

The wierdest thing I ever woke up to was an ex girlfriend of mine. She was wierd, she is wierd and I'm sure she always will be.

When I was younger we got my electric guitar and amplifier and woke up a friend of mine by putting it on full blast ultra distortion and blared hard core riffs in his ears to wake him up

(only to be copied by quirky funsters Jackass many years later)

[CALIBUR] · 10-10-2002 09:18PM

I once was woken up by a stark bollock naked Austrailian girl at a hostel only the other week. Odd thing is, she didn't care I was staring at her.

fs I've being woken by a cat and u get the Naked lady.

conZ · 10-10-2002 09:23PM

fluckin cd player scratchin the sheet out of my frames cd this morning.
must have been at it all night cos i started the cd at 1am and woke at 8.30am

the cd is no more than 1 hour long too

Doc · 10-10-2002 09:23PM

Was woken up by a wasp stinging me 2 times while in my bed, the odd bit was it was only about a week before Christmas.

Woke up to a cat sitting ½’’ from my face, no one in the house owned the cat, it was a stray that somehow managed to get in my bedroom on the 2nd floor!

Fell asleep at a rave in a field somewhere just outside London only to be woken up by someone lobbing flashing juggling balls at my face, 5 in all if I remember correctly actually that whole night was kind of weird.

Kolodny · 10-10-2002 09:42PM

I was once woken up by being hit in the face by a whole pineapple that was hurled through my open bedroom window. I kid you not. I put it into a fruit salad later that day and it was delicious, if slightly bruised. To this day I have no idea why someebody flung a pineapple through my window, but I will be eternally grateful.

Tellox · 10-10-2002 09:50PM

Wierdest thing to ever wake me up..well, a bright light woke me up, which when I opened my eyes was at my curtains. a flickering red bright light. I didnt move for about 2mins, but then I realised it was partially yellow, and the power was out. So I quickly looked out the window, and there it was, the power generator next to my estate was covered in flames. I was too piss scared to move for a minute, before I flew down the stairs, out the door, rang me ma (who was on the piss) and told her I was fecking off over to somebody elses for the night. I rang a taxi, got picked up as the fire men were doin their job.. and so forth.

Im greatly hoping never to wake up like that again

mike65 · 10-10-2002 10:02PM

Jesus after reading that lot, this'll seem lame...:)

Years ago, I awoke with a "start" on Saturday morning, with the sound of a jet fighter blasting my left ear, I jumped under the sheets opened my eyes and lay there,
trying to comprehend this deafening sound which unlike a jet engine was'nt pasing overhead but alongside me, away then back towards me....suddenly it stopped. I got up went downstairs and looked out the back door. I dunno what I was expecting to see, but proberly not a hosepipe.

My dad had been running a jet of water back and forth along the underside of the drainpipe which ran down the side of the house!

Mike.

BEAT · 10-10-2002 11:10PM

The first thing that came to mind when I read this was, a few years ago I had a kitten and she slept in my bed with me...
I awoke one morning soon after I had gotten her to find her sitting in my hand with her paws wrapped around my thumb while she was biting it...lol, it was cute but kittens have sharp little teeth

and that was the way I woke up for the next week, after that she slept in a blanket on the floor

Mossy Monk · 10-10-2002 11:29PM

one morning after a house party i was asleep on the couch and one of the lads woke me up. the night before when he passed out we covered his face with loads of things and i forgot about it. it frightened the living daylights out of me.

several times the cat has attacked my toes 1st thing. not very nice. she sleeps outside now

Bard · 11-10-2002 12:26AM

Not weird exactly, but once when staying in a friends place I was woken up by the smoke and heat of the shelves nearby being on fire. Had the fire been allowed to continue burning, it would have been only a matter of a minute or two before the whole wall behind it would have been engulfed - a wall behind which two young children were sleeping soundly.

I woke my friend and we battled with the fire. It took a few minutes to put out and I ended up destroying my favourite shirt doing it. ... not that the shirt mattered in the grand scheme of things of course...!

I'm just glad that I woke up when I did, then... The kids were ok and no serious damage was done - apart from to the shelves themselves, some wallpaper, some books, candlesticks and other ornaments -- ... oh, and my shirt :rolleyes:

I've also woken up with a cat on my face. It was my cat though... (not that that makes it ok

) ... and I'm sure it wasn't actually trying to smother me, but was just cuddling up for a bit of heat/comfort as I was living in a cold and uncomfortable flat at the time.

Kairo · 11-10-2002 12:35AM

Was staying over at my cousins house as a friend and was kippin on the floor in a sleeping bag. Woke up at some ungodly hour with a tickling sensation on my face..turned on the light to see what it was. The bag, my face and hands were covered in earwigs! There had been a nest nearby behind some press nearby. Never slept on the floor there again

Still wonder if one of the bastards actually crawled into my brain or something...would explain alot really!

pertinax · 11-10-2002 12:58AM

I woke up to a strange sound once. It Started when a truck crashed nicely into our front wall, and demolished it. But that didn't wake me up. The driver did that with the door bell. The front gate had to be taken down and a week later i heard the strange noise.
A metalic clanging sound. I didnt think it was anything at the time because theres a metal gate beside us and cats walk along it and jump down off it makeing a deafening clatter.
The day after i found out the hubcaps off the car were stolen. So that was what woke me up.

I'm sure he decked himself out in black kit and thought he was on a SAS hubcap hostage rescue mission.
Twat, hubcaps the twat!

Karl Hungus · 11-10-2002 04:01AM

This didn't happen to me, but at a house party one time, when this guy I didn't know passed out I came up with the brilliant idea of crucifying him with duct tape which I got off his room-mate. He woke up an hour later taped to the wall with arms out-stretched, cursed at us, then fell back to sleep.

I was gone before morning.

Dr. Loon · 11-10-2002 08:18AM

I once woke up to the sound of a landrover charging towards me!! We were camping, and kept getting kicked off the nice spots, so had to set up on (what looked like) a misused path!! Later on that night the sound of a very close vehicle woke us up. The path was runninng alongside a river... luckily it turned out the landrover was on the path at the other side!

A good friend told me that someone he knew once woke up underneath a railway bridge with a jazz band playing. He'd been on the píss at some do, and liked the band, so invited them out for a session. Needless to say there was much drugs involved!!

Beruthiel · 11-10-2002 09:55AM

I was woken up at 2.00am by my b/f who I heard saying 'what are you doing?'
I flew up in the bed and saw some junkie hanging in the bedroom window!
meanwhile, he is answering the question with 'got a light bud'
I roared at him to get the 'flock out of the window or I'd burst him' - which he promptly did

I still slag my b/f for being so polite to a junkie trying to break into the gaf!

Borzoi · 11-10-2002 10:23AM

I've had the cat dance on my face to wake me up and feed it that it's not funny, but the weirdest.....

I was lying asleep in my own bed when I felt the duvet slipping away, I pulled it back, it pulled away again, so at this stage I'm half awake and I hear somebody saying ' I'm cold, I'm cold' well the duvet stops moving, then I hear clattering in my wardrobe, still with the voice going ' I'm cold, I'm cold' . Not knowing WTF, I slip out of bed and turn on the light to find my friend who was sleeping on the couch trying to climb into the wardrobe - but he's still sleeping

Yes the classic sleepwalker, didn't know what to do with him, you know you hear you shouldn't walk him, but it was 5am, so I yelled at the F@@ker

Mercury_Tilt · 11-10-2002 10:39AM

This post has been deleted.

daveg · 11-10-2002 10:40AM

I'm putting this one in for my GF. I had a dream one night she was trying to kill me. Both she and I woke with me on top of her with my hands around her neck about to strangle her !!!! scared me more than her.

Also when I was about 8 years old I stayed over at a freinds house. I woke at about 3am to find myself pissing in the corner of the hallway. Wooden floors so no soakage. I blamed him the following morning.

I''m not painting a very good picture of myself am I

lynchie · 11-10-2002 10:55AM

Staying in some small town on the shannon in Limerick a few years back. About 10 of us got absolutely pissed and as a result they kicked us out of the camping site. We carried our 3 man tent down the road, and finally found some field to put it in. About 6 of us slept in the tent. At about 7am we were all awoken with the top of a shotgun pointing in the door of the tent with a pissed of farmer giving out that we were disturbing his cows. - Dont think he liked the empty cans of beer scattered around the tent!

Wierdest thing ever to wake you up

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