Brother has been taking my mail

lisajane · 11-05-2009 10:48AM #1

I ordered something of the internet back in feburary. I thought it got lost in the post because i didn't get it yet. But i was in my brother's room on friday searching for a book i gave him.
We had a bit of a row a few weeks ago, where it was his fault and i got angry and he got angry at me for being angry at him. Stupid. And he hasn't spoken to me since, so i couldn't ask him for the book as he is so moody and cranky towards me. I just refuse to speak to someone who is constantly in a mood. So i had to have a bit of a root around for it.
While, in his room i found my mail. Ok, it was just the 1 package which i thought was lost, but what's to say he didn't get his hands on more of my mail? I have been waiting 3 months now for an appointment at the hospital. I don't see how it can take a hospital so long to open their books and give me the next available appointment and put it into a letter, (or maybe it can, i don't know)?

How do i tell him, his behaviour isn't on?

Lollipops23 · 11-05-2009 10:59AM

taking someone's post is illegal, tell him if he does it again you will be reporting him to the police. he sounds like an immature dumbass.

the_syco · 11-05-2009 11:25AM

Ring the hospetal, and ask if you have an appointment coming up. Say the appointment card was taken.

Butterfly baby · 11-05-2009 12:39PM

Him taking your mail was wrong but I wouldn't assume that it's his fault your appointment hasn't arrived yet, anyone on here will tell you that getting an appointment with a specialist (I'm assuming it's to see someone for a specific condition) in this country can take months unless your limbs are falling off, as syco said ring them and irritate them constantly otherwise you could be waiting for another 3 or 6 months.

wolfric · 11-05-2009 04:11PM

Cold, calm and to the point so he knows you're serious.

Taltos · 11-05-2009 08:14PM

Is there any chance you could be over-reacting here?

The fact that you found one package in his room does not a conspiracy make.
Just chat calmly to him and explain you found it.

Hopefully he will fess up and admit that maybe he was bringing it to you got distracted and left it down.
Or he could be a prat and say yeah so what? What were you doing digging in my room.

If you get the 2nd response then you have an issue to deal with. Trick is to stay calm and do not show he is rattling you. Not cool taking your mail - but until you know why don't assume the worst.

passive · 11-05-2009 08:25PM

yeah... I think taltos just covered it pretty well. Still living with parents, by the way? Maybe say it to them?

lisajane · 11-05-2009 10:37PM

Taltos wrote: »

Is there any chance you could be over-reacting here?

The fact that you found one package in his room does not a conspiracy make.
Just chat calmly to him and explain you found it.

Hopefully he will fess up and admit that maybe he was bringing it to you got distracted and left it down.
Or he could be a prat and say yeah so what? What were you doing digging in my room.

If you get the 2nd response then you have an issue to deal with. Trick is to stay calm and do not show he is rattling you. Not cool taking your mail - but until you know why don't assume the worst.

I don't think he was bringing it to me and got distracted and left it down. That i can somehow understand. He had it opened and it was in his drawer. Its not as if he just left it down somewhere. Maybe he opened it by mistake (which if he did, i dont mind), but he didn't accidently keep it.

Taltos · 12-05-2009 07:35AM

lisajane wrote: »

I don't think he was bringing it to me and got distracted and left it down. That i can somehow understand. He had it opened and it was in his drawer. Its not as if he just left it down somewhere. Maybe he opened it by mistake (which if he did, i dont mind), but he didn't accidently keep it.

You see it is all in the information - we had no idea he had opened it nor hidden it in a drawer.
Advice still stands though - calmly talk to him about it - preferably in front of your parents. Maybe talk to them first - let them know what you believe has happened, tell them you plan to talk to your brother and you need some moral support, ask them just to back you up if needed but that you want to try to sort it yourself if your brother is open to it.

If he lashes out or "freaks out" - then it is up to your parents to reign him back (remember to say that to them up front). At the end of the day you are just his sister - it is not your job to raise him or teach him right from wrong - that is what you need your parents to do.

Just start off with "Hey, <name> while I was getting the book back from your room I came across a package I was expecting and it had been opened. What's the story with that?"
or
"I need you to understand that I was very upset when I came across... "

As you are not accusing him directly of anything and instead are asking him to emote with you hopefully this will do the trick - depends on his emotional maturity though - hence have you mom/dad in the room quietly to one side but observing so that they can jump in.
Under no circumstances let your emotions get the better of you - that will just feed into whatever is going on and will sway your parents to come down on both of you - if you act like the reasonable adult here your folks are more likely to back you up 100%

merlie · 12-05-2009 08:30AM

lisajane wrote: »

I ordered something of the internet back in feburary. I thought it got lost in the post because i didn't get it yet. But i was in my brother's room on friday searching for a book i gave him.
We had a bit of a row a few weeks ago, where it was his fault and i got angry and he got angry at me for being angry at him. Stupid. And he hasn't spoken to me since, so i couldn't ask him for the book as he is so moody and cranky towards me. I just refuse to speak to someone who is constantly in a mood. So i had to have a bit of a root around for it.
While, in his room i found my mail. Ok, it was just the 1 package which i thought was lost, but what's to say he didn't get his hands on more of my mail? I have been waiting 3 months now for an appointment at the hospital. I don't see how it can take a hospital so long to open their books and give me the next available appointment and put it into a letter, (or maybe it can, i don't know)?

How do i tell him, his behaviour isn't on?

Get yourself a P.O.Box address from the post office and get all your mail sent there. This may be of help to you or ask a good friend can they hold mail for you for the time being, till you sort this out.

Ring the hospital and find out from them if any appointments have been made for you. Don't leave it to chance for the post to come through or for you to find it in his room months later. He has broken your trust and now you are suspicious at every turn. He may have some issues going on and is worried about what ever it is.

Brother has been taking my mail

Comments