Giving up seats for pregnant women

kizzyr · 20-04-2009 02:00PM

Hagar wrote: »

A liitle bit of courtesy doesn't go far astray. I'd give up my seat to anyone who looks like they need it be they male or female. The fat woman / pregnant woman thing isn't really an issue unless you say something dumb like "When's it/they due". Just graciously offer the seat to her as a person.

I'd offer my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it. Similarly I will offer to help someone carry their shopping to their car or lift their suitcase up steps at a train station etc, its basic good manner to me too.
I remember one time after giving blood I was feeling particularly bad (always feel very faint, light headed etc afterward) and got onto the bus to go home. It was packed and the lack of air made me feel a lot worse. This old man spotted me and saw how bad I looked and jumped up and made me sit down on his seat. He pulled the window open and kept shouting at people to keep back and give me air, God was I mortified:o When I got to my stop he was desperate to make sure I was ok getting home. While I wanted to ground to open up and swallow me I did appreciate how nice he was to care.

Dudess · 20-04-2009 02:02PM

Dyflin wrote: »

My SWMBO

Your what?

20-04-2009 02:04PM

This post has been deleted.

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 02:06PM

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this thread, do you mind if I join in...Please

VO · 20-04-2009 02:11PM

I would always give my seat up to any person who looks like they need it more than I do , Male or Female. My two children one male one female do exactly the same, it is how they have been brought up. Their friends think that they are idiots (that how they were broght up).

Unfortunately ,bad manners went out the window over the past number of years. People have been ecouraged to think only of themselves, f**k everybody else.

A lot of these are the whingers you currently hear on radio talk shows and in newspapers looking for help over the bad financial decisions they made and now looking for help. Tough!

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 02:23PM

VO wrote: »

I would always give my seat up to any person who looks like they need it more than I do , Male or Female. My two children one male one female do exactly the same, it is how they have been brought up. Their friends think that they are idiots (that how they were broght up).

Unfortunately ,bad manners went out the window over the past number of years. People have been ecouraged to think only of themselves, f**k everybody else.

A lot of these are the whingers you currently hear on radio talk shows and in newspapers looking for help over the bad financial decisions they made and now looking for help. Tough!

I think times have changed alot, not for the better some times.
I was thought to have a bit of respect for others, people forget we all need a little bit of consideration now and again.

cuckoo · 20-04-2009 02:46PM

nesbitt wrote: »

A random act of kindness costs you very little and is very very good for morale.

Exactly! I've been shocked how people can just stand by and twiddle their thumbs. In the past i've helped people get buggies on and off buses (before the kneeling buses were common), and have been ildy watched by people who would be stronger (and carrying less bags) than me.

Thinking of buses, there's another contentious issue - the buggy/wheelchair space. Buses can only carry one wheelchair OR one buggy, and Dublin Bus doesn't seem to have any policy about priority. So, someone can take the space with a buggy that could be collapsed, and then a person in a wheelchair at the next stop will be refused.

I've never seen a driver insist that the passenger make space by putting away the buggy and holding the child on their knee - has anyone else?

enda1 · 20-04-2009 02:57PM

My understanding of the bus thing is that the woman/man/both with the buggy can be asked to leave the bus for the wheelchair user.

Sucks to be honest and difficult situation to debate.
Wonder if it would be cheaper to just give wheelchair users free taxi usage, though that would be kinda discriminatory I guess...

Mr. Presentable · 20-04-2009 03:05PM

Sweetgirl wrote: »

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this thread, do you mind if I join in...Please

Here, take my seat.

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 03:09PM

nipplenuts wrote: »

Here, take my seat.

Ahhh thanks and me not even pregnant.. thank you:D

WindSock · 20-04-2009 03:21PM

Sweetgirl wrote: »

Ahhh thanks and me not even pregnant.. thank you:D

Don't take the seat then!1!!!1!!

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 03:31PM

WindSock wrote: »

Don't take the seat then!1!!!1!!

i didnt, don't mind standing.

You can have it..:p

gillo_100 · 20-04-2009 03:43PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

Oh look someone who doesn't know the logical reason why women were always offered ( offered not given ) a seat,that answer is periods.
Nothing worse then being wracked with craps and feeling unwell and having to stand,there for it was good manners and courtesy to offer your seat to a lady this assume that you are a gentleman.

Not to be rude or anything but I really don't think most men would ever think along those lines. I for one was never really aware of it as I like most men avoid thinking about this topic. And as it is something which there is no way for anyone else to be aware of I don't think most would, I know even though its been brought to my attention I probably won't ever consider it.

In general I will offer my seat to a pregnant lady, I'll admit to trying to avoid it in the hope someone else will but in the end I would offer it up. One thing that does annoy me however is. Pregnant ladies getting on the commuter train in Malahide. If you know you need a seat get the dart where you are guaranteed a seat and someone else doesn't have to give one up. There are other situations like this also where people should do there best to guarantee themselves a seat if it is possible

SeekUp · 20-04-2009 03:46PM

JC 2K3 wrote: »

I'm awful at telling whether a woman is pregnant or not, and don't want to insult some fat girl.

I never understand this -- you're not saying, "Here, you're large, sit down." All you have to ask is "Would you like to sit?" Best case scenario, a pregnant woman can get off of her feet for a bit. Worst case scenario, you're standing while a large woman is sitting. Who cares? (And if you're otherwise unable to stand, then you wouldn't be offering the seat in the first place.)

Hagar wrote: »

The fat woman / pregnant woman thing isn't really an issue unless you say something dumb like "When's it/they due". Just graciously offer the seat to her as a person.

Exactly. When I'm on a crowded bus/subway, etc, sometimes I've felt like standing, other times not. People have asked me if I wanted to sit, and I say, no, go ahead. Yes, we all pay the same fare . . . but sometimes someone needs something a little more than I do, even if it's something as small as a seat. If you think you can help someone out, just let them sit down for goodness sake. (Or at least offer.)

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 03:50PM

gillo_100 wrote: »

Not to be rude or anything but I really don't think most men would ever think along those lines. I for one was never really aware of it as I like most men avoid thinking about this topic. And as it is something which there is no way for anyone else to be aware of I don't think most would, I know even though its been brought to my attention I probably won't ever consider it.

In general I will offer my seat to a pregnant lady, I'll admit to trying to avoid it in the hope someone else will but in the end I would offer it up. One thing that does annoy me however is. Pregnant ladies getting on the commuter train in Malahide. If you know you need a seat get the dart where you are guaranteed a seat and someone else doesn't have to give one up. There are other situations like this also where people should do there best to guarantee themselves a seat if it is possible

Thats a bit unfair get on the dart were you know theres a seat. Anyways it never happens when you want one, Im sure mothers to be don't go out looking for anyones seat.
When you think of the heat, factor in the weight there carrying in a confined area I for sure dont mind giving up my seat

banshee_bones · 20-04-2009 04:02PM

Last year i got on my bus outside of college, its a route that is always packed even though they have a every-15-minutes service! I got on, and an elderly man offered me his seat! i graciously and profusely refused and smiled away but he got up and gestured me into the seat! I didnt know what else to do i was mortified and didnt want to make a scene, i know it should be the other way around! I was happy out standing! I think some generations have just been raised with a sense of chivalry, giving up a seat to a woman pregnant or not!

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 04:05PM

banshee_bones wrote: »

Last year i got on my bus outside of college, its a route that is always packed even though they have a every-15-minutes service! I got on, and an elderly man offered me his seat! i graciously and profusely refused and smiled away but he got up and gestured me into the seat! I didnt know what else to do i was mortified and didnt want to make a scene, i know it should be the other way around! I was happy out standing! I think some generations have just been raised with a sense of chivalry, giving up a seat to a woman pregnant or not!

That has happened to me a few times, you don't know were to look..

WindSock · 20-04-2009 04:08PM

Sweetgirl wrote: »

i didnt, don't mind standing.

You can have it..:p

Are you calling me fat???? :mad::pac:;)

FruitLover · 20-04-2009 04:10PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

Oh look someone who doesn't know the logical reason why women were always offered ( offered not given ) a seat,that answer is periods.
Nothing worse then being wracked with craps and feeling unwell and having to stand,there for it was good manners and courtesy to offer your seat to a lady this assume that you are a gentleman.

Interesting response. What's also interesting is the likelihood that had I (or any other bloke) posted that response in this forum, we'd probably get lifted out of it by every female here. I seem to remember seeing a number of threads on this very forum complaining about men constantly thinking something along the lines of "ah, she must be on the blob". You're not trying to encourage it, are you? (assuming this comment wasn't tongue-in-cheek)

WindSock · 20-04-2009 04:10PM

banshee_bones wrote: »

Last year i got on my bus outside of college, its a route that is always packed even though they have a every-15-minutes service! I got on, and an elderly man offered me his seat! i graciously and profusely refused and smiled away but he got up and gestured me into the seat! I didnt know what else to do i was mortified and didnt want to make a scene, i know it should be the other way around! I was happy out standing! I think some generations have just been raised with a sense of chivalry, giving up a seat to a woman pregnant or not!

Oh God. I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably say something insulting about not having one foot in the grave but not intend it that way. So glad I have a car.

WindSock · 20-04-2009 04:14PM

FruitLover wrote: »

Interesting response. What's also interesting is the likelihood that had I (or any other bloke) posted that response in this forum, we'd probably get lifted out of it by every female here. I seem to remember seeing a number of threads on this very forum complaining about men constantly thinking something along the lines of "ah, she must be on the blob". And now you want to encourage it? (assuming this comment wasn't tongue-in-cheek)

The problem with those 'on the blob' posts was that they were meant as a patronising response to hormones & anger. It's a perfectly valid reason to say that a woman may be feeling uncomfortable due to her period.
I don't agree with it myself and wish to not be treated any different if its my time of the month. I've been having periods for over 15 years. I can deal with it.

Chocoholic84 · 20-04-2009 04:16PM

Scien wrote: »

If a Man has any ounce of decency & manners he'll offer his seat to any woman, regardless of physical state.

WOAH WOAH WOAH! Talk about a sexist post!

Tell me, WHY should a man offer a prefectly fit and healthy woman her seat? Are you implying that us women are such weaklings we may just fall over and die if we are left standing for too long?

Have you ever been on luas or dart? tbh, I'd be a little freaked out if a guy offered me a seat for no apparent reason...in fact I'd be a little bit insulted!

What an out-dated post.

20-04-2009 04:24PM

I take issue with people not giving up their seats for pregnant women, eldery people, disabled people etc. Not only because it is more uncomfortable for these people to stand but because they are infirm and are more likely to fall, lose balance etc. You may think that "it's not my fault she's pregnant" but if she fell on the bus/luas whatever, she could do damage to her baby, same goes for a packed bus when other people could fall into her bump etc causing her harm.

I think it's all down to manners, the way you were raised etc.

jellie · 20-04-2009 04:24PM

If someone looks like they need my seat ill offer it to them whether theyre a man/woman/pregnant/old/broken leg, etc. admittedly sometimes i dont like it, but usually the person is so grateful i feel like im a really lovely person :pac:

gillo_100 wrote: »

One thing that does annoy me however is. Pregnant ladies getting on the commuter train in Malahide. If you know you need a seat get the dart where you are guaranteed a seat and someone else doesn't have to give one up. There are other situations like this also where people should do there best to guarantee themselves a seat if it is possible

i would guess that if a pregnant lady (or anyone who BADLY needs a seat) is getting on a dart at a particular stop its because its their only mode of transport & its not possible to get to the other stop without getting the dart..

dizzyniki · 20-04-2009 04:33PM

i rarely use public transport in Dublin but when I have used it I've met so many unmannerly people. If a woman is visibly pregnant I would definitely give up my seat.this shouldn't just be the chivalrous thing to do just because you're a man. Women should put themselves in their position and be courteous enough to stand up and let the woman sit. I actually find sickening that you could be on the luas and be surrounded by commuters literally going a few yards up the track, they have a seat and a pregnant woman, someone with a crying child in a buggy or someone elderly is left standing. It p*sses me off!!! The thing is if I don't get there first then it's usually a little old man or what I feel looks like to be a complete scumbag that offers up the seat. It's those feck*rs in their suits that don't bother offering up their seat. Children nowadays seriously need to learm some manners too. they have a complete lack of respect for their elders and most of the ones i'm talking about are even way too young to be on public transport or anywhere without their parents for that matter.

mari2222 · 20-04-2009 04:44PM

anyone able to stand should offer their seat to someone more needy. this is a kindness to a fellow human.

lemon_sherbert · 20-04-2009 04:46PM

If someone looks like they need the seat, I'll usually offer it. I hate when I don't notice, because I've my head in the clouds, or looking out the window, etc. Makes me feel really guilty getting off the bus/dart.

It can lead to a host of embarrassing situations though, some rather funny ones too.

I have been asked to give up my seat when I was ill and on the way home from school, when I was younger, and ended up having to sit on the floor of the dart, I felt so unwell.

I have also been mistaken for being pregnant too! What a blow to the self esteem,

, while I was in my school uniform too, but I just took the seat and imagined what I was to name the phantom child, didn't want to embarrass the man who gave me the seat, after they made a nice gesture.

I don't think it's too big a deal, and when you make a mistake you can run up to the next carriage on the dart, though I suppose you're a bit stuck on the bus... It's just good manners really

(I will never again be embarrassed on the bus though, since I got my hair caught in the button of a man's sleeve who was sitting beside me, and had to literally pull the clump of hair out of my head to get off the bus.

)

Sweetgirl · 20-04-2009 04:49PM

WindSock wrote: »

Are you calling me fat???? :mad::pac:;)

#

I so did not, jeez try be nice giving up a seat. Look were it gets me:D

20-04-2009 04:56PM

This post has been deleted.

shellyboo · 20-04-2009 04:57PM

cuckoo wrote: »

I've never seen a driver insist that the passenger make space by putting away the buggy and holding the child on their knee - has anyone else?

Yeah, seen that loads of times where the driver will ask the person with the buggy to collapse it and let the person in the wheelchair on. Happens all the time!

Giving up seats for pregnant women

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