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Sex with cousin

  • 16-04-2009 10:41PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭


    I hooked up with this person who turned out to be my cousin,which i only found out after we had sex,we had arranged to meet again but i dont know if i can go knowing were cousins.

    What should i do??

    Confused guy.


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭sardineta


    Only a problem if she's a girl i.e. progeny.

    Qualified: this depends on cultural norms and may indeed vary from region to region. Be guided by what you think your mam would say.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    You know it's your cousin. You've no excuse second time.

    Don't go and forget it ever happened.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh


    If she was your second cousin it would be a bigger deal as you share more in common genitically with relatives once removed but either way it's pretty messed up!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,598 ✭✭✭Dante


    incest is best.....


    ........Seize the day!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1 woome


    ye hun naw u no shes ur cosin u should b feelin sick wat if any of ur famaly found out its worng hun dont go dar again plez


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well its a guy,im openly gay for a around 8 months now,and its the first guy ive ever really connected with,and its very hard trying to find other gay guys.


  • Posts: 11,928 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I hooked up with this person who turned out to be my cousin,which i only found out after we had sex,we had arranged to meet again but i dont know if i can go knowing were cousins.

    What should i do??

    Confused guy.

    The pope condones it if your second or furthur.

    Follow your own heart/gut.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,581 ✭✭✭aare


    Why not meet them and discuss it with them?


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,411 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    incest is best

    I suggest you read the part of the charter dealing with unhelpful and off-topic posts before contributing anything further to this discussion.
    woome wrote: »
    ye hun naw u no shes ur cosin u should b feelin sick wat if any of ur famaly found out its worng hun dont go dar again plez

    Similarly, had you read the charter you would have seen that text speak is forbidden in this forum. Please refrain from any posts like that again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I cant see the harm as long as you tell your cousin. especially seeing as your gay so you wont be having any six fingered offspring. good luck


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,371 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Actually - is the cousins thing only a religious exclusion?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,102 ✭✭✭easyeason3


    I'd stay away to be honest. I don't mean anything nasty by this but it's probably going to be tough on you when you do bring someone home to meet the family, do you really want it to be a bit tougher when it's your cousin?
    You probably have a fair idea how you feel about him anyway but if it's not a serious feeling then I'd cool things off for a while just to see how it pans out.
    Best of luck with it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,240 ✭✭✭CaptainSkidmark


    Sex with first cousin..... if the pope says its ok then fire away.

    And if yer gay then there wont be any chance of a child being abnormal cos there wont be a child.......

    im not saying go for it or dont but above are the facts.

    there are plenty of married couples that are cousins


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 228 ✭✭MadgeBadge


    There are plenty of other (non-related) fish in the sea. Wouldn't you rather not have to deal with it at all?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭994


    Seaneh wrote: »
    If she was your second cousin it would be a bigger deal as you share more in common genitically with relatives once removed but either way it's pretty messed up!
    No, that's made up and makes no sense. A first cousin is closer than a second.
    I cant see the harm as long as you tell your cousin. especially seeing as your gay so you wont be having any six fingered offspring. good luck
    Actually the risk is only about 2-3%, it's safer to have a baby with a 20-year-old cousin than with a 40-year-old woman who's unrelated..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭Joey the lips


    aare wrote: »
    Why not meet them and discuss it with them?


    Exactly, and if your gay i cant see anything that would affect your genes. On a personel note. I have lots of cousins who are georgous would i hook up with them if I was not already in a relationship.. Probably 90% sure I would.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭sardineta


    994 wrote: »
    Actually the risk is only about 2-3%, it's safer to have a baby with a 20-year-old cousin than with a 40-year-old woman who's unrelated..

    If you can find a way for male cousins to have a child together with only a risk of 2-3% then you need to speak to Lord Winston and secure your fame and fortune.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    OP - i understand that you feel a connection with this guy, but how close a cousin is he?

    I know there's all the stuff about there are cousins married & sure go for it etc. And whilst I'm not one to stand in the way of love etc - but you have to understand the complications before going ahead with something like this.

    If you really think it's worth going for - then I suggest meeting up and talking to him. Discuss all of this before you guys go any further. At least then ye will both know where ye stand and will have realised any possible situations that might be awkward.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 160 ✭✭Milkey Bar Kid


    OP . theres billions of people on this earth . Don't go down the cousin route .I think its not right but that my personal opinion. You will cause a rift in your family and to me it will taint you family history in the future
    But thats just me


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,024 ✭✭✭Redpunto


    No no no no and NO

    It is not ok to hook up with a cousin - you're blood related, there are loads of people out there and you really dont want to go down the "we're already related" route.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    Why not? If it makes you happy then do it. I think if you had grown up knowing this person as your cousin, it would be a little weird and incestuous, but like you said, you just found out. If it goes further, you WILL have to deal with the taboo surrounding the matter, but i'm sure you have to deal with that to a certain extent already. Spread the love man :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    I would advise against it. If only on the grounds of this thing going sour, and causing a division in the family. This effects a lot more people potentially than the two of you. Even if it doesn't go bad, how would your family react to the relationship or casual fling or whatever you want to happen. There are cousins I have that I don't know because of the actions of our grandparents, which resulted in alienation from the the rest of the family. You don't know how far or how long the repercussions of this could last and who it could effect.


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,411 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    994 wrote: »
    No, that's made up and makes no sense. A first cousin is closer than a second.


    Actually the risk is only about 2-3%, it's safer to have a baby with a 20-year-old cousin than with a 40-year-old woman who's unrelated..

    If you have facts to back up those claims then it would be appreciated if you could post them. Otherwise please refrain from posting random statistics without credible sources.

    Thanks


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭Searlait


    Well, I'm guessing, as you said you found out afterwards that you were cousins, that you didn't grow up with each other, well certainly haven't seen him in a long time. I for one, wouldn't be too bothered by it, you haven't grown up with them in the sibling kind of way. Its not illegal, I guess just frowned upon!

    The taboo around being with a cousin afaik stems from the fact that cousins having children have hightened chances of abnormalities, but hey my biology teacher was married to her cousin, and they had kids, so I guess if someone in the know does it...

    As you are both gay even if down the line you were to have children I would imagine that it would only involve one of you in some way or another. So way down the line, it needn't cause that a big problem.

    The only point, as someone mentioned, if it sours, would it create a family situation? As you don't seem to have grown up together I can't imagine the families were that close.

    I say go for it!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    What class of cousins are you? First, Second, Second once removed?

    In theory, there's nothing wrong with you seeing a distant cousin, but to be honest, dealing with family in such a situation might be too much hassle.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27 RawShark


    ye hun naw u no shes ur cosin u should b feelin sick wat if any of ur famaly found out its worng hun dont go dar again plez

    Maybe he's swedish?

    In reply to the original question by the thread starter, tell family to mind their own business and go enjoy yourself. You only live ONCE. Think about it - it's scary when you do!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    I was doing some reading into this and here is the information that 994 alluded to earlier
    In April 2002, the Journal of Genetic Counseling released a report authored by a team of scientists led by Robin L. Bennett, a genetic counselor at the University of Washington and the president of the National Society of Genetic Counselors, which showed that the potential risk of birth defects in a child born of first cousins was slightly higher than the risk associated with a non-cousin couple. The report estimated the increased risk for first cousins at 1.7 - 2.8 % over the base risk of about 3%, or about the same as that of any woman over age 40, or of a still younger man (see paternal age). Put differently, first-cousin marriages entail roughly the same increased risk of birth defects as a woman faces when she gives birth at age 41 (roughly 6%) rather than at 30 (roughly 3%). Critics argue that banning first-cousin marriages would make as much sense as trying to ban childbearing by older women. These numbers were reported only for first instances of cousin mating; repeated generations of cousin coupling are thought to increase the risk substantially.

    Link to the original article.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    RawShark - stick to the topic at hand. Please take the time to read the charter with regard to posting in this forum.

    dudara


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    I hooked up with this person who turned out to be my cousin,which i only found out after we had sex,we had arranged to meet again but i dont know if i can go knowing were cousins.

    What should i do??

    Confused guy.

    How closely related are you?

    To my mind the deed is already done, you've connected with them and it's a biological impossibility that you procreate so no chance of gracing the world with web-fingered trophy-eared munchkins. Why don't you meet with them and discuss how you are feeling? The fact you didn't know who they even were would suggest you are distant relations.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭crotalus667


    Miss Fluff wrote: »
    Why don't you meet with them and discuss how you are feeling? .
    That’s the best bit of advice I have seen on this entire thread , by the way we are all technically related threw a common ancestor (ok it’s a very distant ancestor) as far as I am concerned love is love ok you may have a social stigma to put up with but if you did not know then there will be very few other’s that will


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