Security Guards that think they're Dirty Harry

jayteecork · 03-04-2009 11:29PM #1

So I had a big bag full of Empty Cans that I took down to the bottle bank.

Dumped the cans and went over to a rubbish bin outside a multi-story car park.
As I was throwing the plastic bag into the bin I thought I heard someone banging on a window. looked around for a bit, couldn't see anything.

Next thing some head-the-ball security guard comes running out, reaches into the bin, grabs the plastic bag and shoves it back at me!!

I was utterly surprised and then he says "There's no ****ing domestic rubbish to be put in those bins, take it back or I'll get you DONE FOR IT"

I was completely shocked by all this and as soon as I regained my composure I explained that it was the bag used to bring cans to the bottle bank across the road.

He took exception to this and actually squared up to me, looking for a confrontation. I decided to walk away form the looney and whispered something under my breath, which he heard. He then proceeded to walk briskly after me!

I kept walking as it's a no-win situation with these goons.

Anyone have any similar tales, I'd imagine there's plenty of these sort of fellas around, on some power trip.

SV · 03-04-2009 11:48PM

Why didn't you hit him?

tbh, if I did that to someone I'd be expecting to get knocked out.

Ruu_Old · 03-04-2009 11:49PM

Sounds like you lost your bottle. *dodges tomatoes*

Blazer · 03-04-2009 11:51PM

Should have told him to fcuk off or you'd sue his ass.
I hate security guards...even worse than cops..swanning around with their radios roaring in them in "code red, code red, charlie team go go go".
I actually heard some gob****e saying this into this walkie talkie at work when I was walking into work.
8 hours later I was still laughing at the stupid cvnt.

Everyone one of these saps harbours a dream that they're really cops etc.
It's to take their mind off that they have the most ****e job in the world..even worse than working for Mr Binmen which is good honest work.
These gimps just stand around looking tough and occasionaly drag their knuckles off the ground to talk into their walkie.
And have you ever seen some of the jackets? Goddamn FBI jackets

makes them look even more pathetic.

jayteecork · 03-04-2009 11:51PM

Hit him?

Come on, no point in resorting to violence.

You're only lowering yourself to his level, and he was a stocky young nutter who probably would have kicked my ass anyway.

It probably would have made his day if I struck him.

Best to leave these sort of guys well alone.

happyhappy · 03-04-2009 11:51PM

did he have a barry mc guigan tasche and slip on shoes with white socks and a load of police badges on his tie???:D:D:D

jayteecork · 03-04-2009 11:52PM

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

Goddamn FBI jackets makes them look even more pathetic.

This guy was indeed wearing a FBI jacket.

SV · 03-04-2009 11:52PM

jayteecork wrote: »

Hit him?

Come on, no point in resorting to violence.

You're only lowering yourself to his level, and he was a stocky young nutter who probably would have kicked my ass anyway.

It probably would have made his day if I struck him.

Best to leave these sort of guys well alone.

these sort of guys?

lol, ah come on now, so what sort of guy is a security guard? I am liking these generalizations though

galwayrush · 03-04-2009 11:52PM

At last he can't carry a ****ing gun.:D

Dave! · 03-04-2009 11:53PM

Ruu wrote: »

Sounds like you lost your bottle. *dodges tomatoes*

Can it.

jayteecork · 03-04-2009 11:54PM

SV wrote: »

these sort of guys?

lol, ah come on now, so what sort of guy is a security guard? I am liking these generalizations though

I have nothing against security guards in general, the "sort of guy" I'm refering to is the confrontational, stupid looking, neanderthal sort of guy.

Blazer · 03-04-2009 11:55PM

jayteecork wrote: »

This guy was indeed wearing a FBI jacket.

see..what did i tell you

should have laughed into this face saying "sorry Mr Wannabe FBI Sir".

JerryHandbag · 04-04-2009 12:33AM

Its a well known fact that security guards have small/no penises. I read it......somewhere

Local-womanizer · 04-04-2009 12:35AM

jayteecork wrote: »

This guy was indeed wearing a FBI jacket.

Maybe he was FBI?Anti-terror bin watch or something....

wandatowell · 04-04-2009 12:50AM

minimum wage is a bitch

javaboy · 04-04-2009 12:51AM

That sketch show with Simon Pegg's sidekick and the guy who looks like a chuckle brother did a great skit on the stereotypical shopping centre security guard.

Sharpshooter · 04-04-2009 12:52AM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Maybe he was FBI?Anti-terror bin watch or something....

Federal Bin Investigator?

qc3 · 04-04-2009 01:13AM

went to a pub one night,was told ,not getting in.when i asked why and that it was my 1st time going to the bar,was told not to be smart that they don't let scum it. I said back,ok i'll go and keep your wife company,in not so nice a way.he gave me an awful thump making me fall to the ground.i let on that i was out for a while,got up an rang the gardai.later took him and the owner to court and got a nice 20 Gs.i smile every time i pass him now. don't think he will let me in anymore;);)

Sharpshooter · 04-04-2009 01:20AM

qc3 wrote: »

went to a pub one night,was told ,not getting in.when i asked why and that it was my 1st time going to the bar,was told not to be smart that they don't let scum it. I said back,ok i'll go and keep your wife company,in not so nice a way.he gave me an awful thump making me fall to the ground.i let on that i was out for a while,got up an rang the gardai.later took him and the owner to court and got a nice 20 Gs.i smile every time i pass him now. don't think he will let me in anymore;);)

He knows now, you know that,don't you?

DanGerMus · 04-04-2009 01:28AM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Maybe he was FBI?Anti-terror bin watch or something....

Yeah maybe he thought it was a bin over laden.

winston82 · 04-04-2009 02:19AM

**walks up to nightclub with 8 friends(4 wait behind about 2 minutes)**

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: How many of yis together?
Me: Just the 4 of us tonight?
Bouncer: Where ye comin from?
Me: What the fcuk does it matter where i'm coming from? Are you able to judge who i am by where ive just come from?
Bouncer: Sorry lads, not tonight
Me: Go fcuk yourself
Bouncer: what ye say?
Me: Ye heard me

/goes to coppers

Me: Hows it goin, bud?
Bouncer: Have yis had a few already
Friend: about 9 or 10 pints
Bouncer: ok lads, take it easy inside, enjoy your nite.
Friend: Cheers buddy!

eroo · 04-04-2009 02:55AM

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

Should have told him to fcuk off or you'd sue his ass.
I hate security guards...even worse than cops..swanning around with their radios roaring in them in "code red, code red, charlie team go go go".
I actually heard some gob****e saying this into this walkie talkie at work when I was walking into work.
8 hours later I was still laughing at the stupid cvnt.

Everyone one of these saps harbours a dream that they're really cops etc.
It's to take their mind off that they have the most ****e job in the world..even worse than working for Mr Binmen which is good honest work.
These gimps just stand around looking tough and occasionaly drag their knuckles off the ground to talk into their walkie.
And have you ever seen some of the jackets? Goddamn FBI jackets makes them look even more pathetic.

If you were laughing for 8 hours your job must be pretty crap.

eroo · 04-04-2009 02:58AM

wandatowell wrote: »

minimum wage is a bitch

It's higher than minimum wage;)

pajodublin · 04-04-2009 03:35AM

A few years ago i had a security guard tell me i wasnt allowed into a shop because i had motorcycle helmet in my hand!!!!!!!!

Seriously.....

Borneo Fnctn · 04-04-2009 03:43AM

jayteecork wrote: »

Hit him?

Come on, no point in resorting to violence.

Yeah well you're resorting to rational thinking. KNOCK HIM OUT.

RATM · 04-04-2009 04:38AM

qc3 wrote: »

went to a pub one night,was told ,not getting in.when i asked why and that it was my 1st time going to the bar,was told not to be smart that they don't let scum it. I said back,ok i'll go and keep your wife company,in not so nice a way.he gave me an awful thump making me fall to the ground.i let on that i was out for a while,got up an rang the gardai.later took him and the owner to court and got a nice 20 Gs.i smile every time i pass him now. don't think he will let me in anymore;);)

The fact that you were told not to be smart implies you were acting smart in the first place. When you then implied his wife was a scumbag you were acting even smarter. And when you lay down and played dead like a footballer you were smarter again :rolleyes:

I'd say pretty much any bouncer in the country would give you a slap if you implied his wife was a scumbag, it just baffles me as to why the slap you got deserves €20K. Must've been the Oscar winning performance, no? Ronaldo fan by any chance?

Zillah · 04-04-2009 05:24AM

I'd have asked him, with a serene smile and cheery demeanour, if he became a security guard because the police wouldn't take him.

fourfiveone · 04-04-2009 07:31AM

jayteecork wrote: »

As I was throwing the plastic bag into the bin I thought I heard someone banging on a window. looked around for a bit, couldn't see anything

Just think, if you'd legged it then, he'd have gone to defcon 1 and radioed in a tactical airstrike on your behind. I'd say you were lucky to escape with your life.

Blazer · 04-04-2009 09:38AM

eroo wrote: »

If you were laughing for 8 hours your job must be pretty crap.

IT ..sucks balls.
but not as much as security guard

omahaid · 04-04-2009 09:45AM

SV wrote: »

these sort of guys?

lol, ah come on now, so what sort of guy is a security guard? I am liking these generalizations though

Goddamn it , it's people who like generalizations again, I fupping hate all of them baxtards

SV · 04-04-2009 09:49AM

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

IT ..sucks balls.
but not as much as security guard

Why, have you ever done security? Or do you just think it's bad because they tend to be arseholes to you?

Security Guards that think they're Dirty Harry

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