Who is Jack Schitt??

Who is Jack Schitt?

The lineage has finally been revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt." Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt,the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the
twins, Deep and Dip Schitt. Against her parents
objections, Deep Schitt
married Dumb Schitt, a highschool dropout.

However, after a 15 year
marriage, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt later
remarried Ted Sherlock,
and because of her children who were living with
them, kept her previous
name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt
married Loda, and they had a son with a nervous
disposition, Chicken
Schitt.
Two of the other 6 children, Fulla and Giva, were
inseparable throughout
their childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony. The wedding announcement in the local
paper announced "the
Schitt-Happens" wedding. The Schitt-Happens
children were Dawg, Byrd, and
Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home
to tour the world. He
recently returned from Italy with his new Italian

bride, Pisa Schitt. So
now when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt"
you can correct them.

This family history was brought to you by the
historian Crock O. Schitt.