Just had a run in with some littering teenagers...

LegacyUser · 25-03-2009 04:39PM #1

So as I walked up a street close to where I live, a teenage girl (about 13) threw her smoothie plastic cup thing on the path.

As I walked by I asked her to pick it up and put it in the bin (there was one 10 feet from her). She starts going off on one "it's only a cup........"

So, I called her a scumbag or a knacker or both and then got the usual shouting "No i;m not....", "well why are you acting like one so?" yaddiyadda). There was a bit of verbal back and forth and I walked off.

She was with a couple of friends and some lads were in tow - so I just walked on to the shop to get what I was going for.

1. I feel so powerless in these situations sometimes, confronting loud teenagers (I'm in my 30s)

2. Should I just say nothing and walk on as if it's acceptable to litter the street of my town

3. After these altercations, I don't feel any better for "being in the right" and I usually feel a bit shook up/nervous. I judge the situation beforehand and don't feel I put myself in any physical danger. But I obviously make sure they aren't following me to see where I live.

4. Is there anything to be gained by giving out to them? I guess if more people did, maybe they wouldn't feel so at ease doing it...

I just get so frustrated that these kids just ruin the place for everyone else and leave the place in a mess.

ziedth · 25-03-2009 05:19PM

IMO,

I think these days your crazy to get into a verbal with any scumbag there are people who have gotten stabed for asking directions.

Your not going to get through to the little toerag by giving out and as you have said your only going to upset yourself by getting in an argument.

Best to just silently Judge IMO.

Orla K · 25-03-2009 05:31PM

I was living with someone in limerick she was a teacher. I can't remember the situation to well but it was possibly 2 twelve year old lads, they were either somewhere where they shouldn't have been or doing something they shouldn't have been. The boys were really ******** of children and the term being dragged up would have been too far. The teacher(not the boys teacher) just said something to them in a loud voice(but not shouting) that was direct and too the point. She did have to say something else to them but they did just walk away without much of a fuss. A teacher voice helps, talk loudly, don't shout, be direct and don't go off on tangents.

Craft25 · 25-03-2009 05:32PM

No way Ziedth.. Well done OP, you're my hero, Fair play to you!!

She didn't take it in right now, but one day she might.. fair play!

When i was a kid going around in a group like that i used to be on my mates case all the time: heres a bunch of kids going ireland this, ireland that, wearing the jerseys, sayin stuff about the english & they cant even be bothered to try keep our country beautiful!!

You will always feel that adrenalin rush & fear when you confront someone but it will make you more confident next time you've gotta speak up. Obviously there are bunches of kids you absolutely couldn't say it to as they probably have knives and value life (including their own) so little that they arent afraid to use them - just use your best judgement!

Well done!!

Otis Driftwood · 25-03-2009 05:33PM

zoooooomy wrote: »

So as I walked up a street close to where I live, a teenage girl (about 13) threw her smoothie plastic cup thing on the path.

As I walked by I asked her to pick it up and put it in the bin (there was one 10 feet from her). She starts going off on one "it's only a cup........"

So, I called her a scumbag or a knacker or both and then got the usual shouting "No i;m not....", "well why are you acting like one so?" yaddiyadda). There was a bit of verbal back and forth and I walked off.

She was with a couple of friends and some lads were in tow - so I just walked on to the shop to get what I was going for.

1. I feel so powerless in these situations sometimes, confronting loud teenagers (I'm in my 30s)

2. Should I just say nothing and walk on as if it's acceptable to litter the street of my town

3. After these altercations, I don't feel any better for "being in the right" and I usually feel a bit shook up/nervous. I judge the situation beforehand and don't feel I put myself in any physical danger. But I obviously make sure they aren't following me to see where I live.

4. Is there anything to be gained by giving out to them? I guess if more people did, maybe they wouldn't feel so at ease doing it...

I just get so frustrated that these kids just ruin the place for everyone else and leave the place in a mess.

Whats the issue?
People are going to litter,particularly teenagers.No point getting bent out of shape about it.
If you were that bothered why didnt you pick it up yourself?
Im not been sarcastic by the way.

25-03-2009 06:06PM

they want people to confront them because they know they'll win by numbers. just leave it be, who cares about rubbish anyways, it gives someone else a wage cleaning each morning.

i don't litter by the way.

Ave Sodalis · 25-03-2009 06:10PM

Firstly...ya should not of called her anything. That just provoked her to argue back (and gave her reason to).

Secondly...why do ya feel powerless? You are much older than them and they are only thirteen, bearly teenagers and easily over-ruled.

Laugh at them. Next time you see someone litter, just laugh and point. Make them feel guilty instead of getting yourself in a bad mood.

Electric Sheep · 25-03-2009 06:12PM

I think the name calling was out of line, and not likely to encourage cooperation. You can confront someone without using that kind of language.

25-03-2009 06:17PM

If they were in a school uniform them report it to the school.

A lot of parents don't really teach their kids to not be little shíts these days so you'll never really win in a situation like this unless you're packing an ak47 and there's no witnesses :P

CDfm · 25-03-2009 07:02PM

zoooooomy wrote: »

So as I walked up a street close to where I live, a teenage girl (about 13) threw her smoothie plastic cup thing on the path.

As I walked by I asked her to pick it up and put it in the bin (there was one 10 feet from her). She starts going off on one "it's only a cup........"

So, I called her a scumbag or a knacker

I had no problem with this part of your post as I imagine most people wouldnt up until the highlighted part because thats where you lost your authority - up until then you could have said well its a nicer place to live without litter and I am sure you didnt learn that at home and even picked up the cup lid which would have embarrassed her.

So,I called her a scumbag or a knacker or both and then got the usual shouting "No i;m not....", "well why are you acting like one so?" yaddiyadda). There was a bit of verbal back and forth and I walked off.

She was with a couple of friends and some lads were in tow

1. I feel so powerless in these situations sometimes, confronting loud teenagers (I'm in my 30s)

2. Should I just say nothing

3. After these altercations

So what worried me was Part 2 of your post that you lost proportion and then rather than being the Tidy Towns Good Neighbour you percieve yourself to be - you come across as being very aggressive who regularily has these scenes and you should say nothing.

Thats not justifying littering but its a bit obsessive and inevitably you know yourself it could escalate. IMHO you owe the girl an apology next time you see her and should really avoid even worrying about litter type stuff if it makes you so upset.

cafecolour · 25-03-2009 09:04PM

Skip direct confrontation. Say, in a friendly, helpful tone, something like "Oh honey, you look like a lovely girl, but honestly, littering like that will make people think you are knacker."

Then keep walking, don't even turn around to look back. If she doesn't pick it up that time, she will think twice next time.

The key is not to sound like you are lecturing, but that you are giving her helpful advice. It should come off in the same manner as "You look lovely, but honestly, those jeans are really not flattering on you. Why don't you try this pair."

Eric Cartman · 25-03-2009 09:32PM

unfortunatley thses situations you probably wont win.

but from my experience of teenage girls arguing call her ugly or fat or a slut or say her hair is awful and that will affect her the most

probably best to leave it

chillywilly · 25-03-2009 09:42PM

I can understand where you are coming from but to be honest calling her a scumbag and a knacker was out of order. She was a teenager and thats what they do, you should have just said you think its better to keep the place clean. I dont know the girl, so I dont know if she is a scumbag or not, but if i was 13 and i threw a cup on the ground(which i have done as a young lad) and someone called me a scumbag/knacker i would also reply as she did :"no im not".

Its best not to aggrevate the situation, approach it calmly and you might get a more constructive solution to the problem.

irish_bob · 25-03-2009 09:55PM

nedtheshed wrote: »

Whats the issue?
People are going to litter,particularly teenagers.No point getting bent out of shape about it.
If you were that bothered why didnt you pick it up yourself?
Im not been sarcastic by the way.

what an idiotic post

Kevster · 25-03-2009 09:59PM

zoooooomy, you're my hero! I've been considering confronting the next person I see doing this. I remember one day I was waiting for a bus and there was a bin near me. Some guy then walked by and had just finished drinking a paper cup of coffee. he turned around and - from about 5 metres away - threw the cup at the bin and kept walking. he clearly saw that it didn't make it's way into the bin.

I'm also disgusted by how many young people now just spit onto the pavement; and by people who throw cigarette butts on the ground. That said, you do have to be careful about who you confront.

irish_bob · 25-03-2009 09:59PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I think the name calling was out of line, and not likely to encourage cooperation. You can confront someone without using that kind of language.

people who litter are not people you approach in a concilatory manner , they are not the kind of people who would be receptive to gentle diplomacy , if i saw someone litter , i would come down on top of them like a tonne of bricks , thier are no excuses and if thier are , im not interested in hearing them

settled tinkers , thats what i call people who litter

Otis Driftwood · 26-03-2009 12:39AM

irish_bob wrote: »

what an idiotic post

Why pray tell is my post idiotic?

People are going to litter.I didnt condone littering and would always find a bin or take any rubbish I have home with me.

What is the point of accosting a bunch of teenagers in the street over a plastic cup?In this day and age,approaching any group of young people and proceeding to verbally abuse them over anything,never mind 1 piece of litter is like putting your head in a guillotine.There is no way in knowing how they are going to react and frankly a person in their 30s really should have more sense.

As for me saying that if the OP was so bothered why didnt he pick it up himself,its the truth.If he was so offended by it he could have picked it up and binned it,whats so hard about that?

If you would like to address my post in a constructive manner then by all means do but calling me idiotic and not giving reasons why leads me to believe you simply cant come up with any.Thats ok though,I wont hold it against you.

artielange · 26-03-2009 12:48AM

A very upset father or brother might be a bigger problem than litter:)

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 26-03-2009 07:51AM

irish_bob wrote: »

people who litter are not people you approach in a concilatory manner , they are not the kind of people who would be receptive to gentle diplomacy

I don't think that's true across the board... it really depends on who it's coming from and in what circumstances.
An older brother or someone else they look up to could have a definite impact IMO.
Some random busybody on the street will of course be told to f-ck off and mind their own business... but I think that's as much about saving face as anything else.
I know what you mean though, you could drag them home by the arm and tell their parents what you saw them doing, and the parents would beat the shít out of you and tell you you to f-ck off and mind your own business.

irish_bob wrote: »

if i saw someone litter , i would come down on top of them like a tonne of bricks , thier are no excuses and if thier are , im not interested in hearing them

Good luck with that, next time you see a group of 25-year-olds throwing cans around the place.

Be sure to have someone standing by with a camcorder.

nedtheshed wrote: »

In this day and age,approaching any group of young people and proceeding to verbally abuse them over anything,never mind 1 piece of litter is like putting your head in a guillotine

True, it's not worth getting stabbed over... but it's this adult fear of groups of children that has them the way they are.
You can't win though, lay a finger on them and you're in big trouble... if they decide to turn things violent, you lose either way.
I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to get involved... you have everything going against you... I think we're a community that can't police itself.

nedtheshed wrote: »

As for me saying that if the OP was so bothered why didnt he pick it up himself

Well I think what bothered the OP was seeing the action of someone disrespect the space everyone has to share by littering, not the piece of litter itself.
It's like the difference between seeing a broken window and seeing someone breaking that window.

Rented Mule · 26-03-2009 08:00AM

I was sitting at a stoplight last spring when the carload of school girls in front of me starting emptying the contents of their car onto the road. I set the hand brake and walked up to the car and started handing back all of the rubbish they had dumped.

The screams coming from the back of the car made it well worth my while. I guarentee that they will think twice before they do it again.

xxmarymoxx · 26-03-2009 08:10AM

well if my teenage daughter littered which she wud never do by the way and u called her a scumbag and a knacker u wudnt have to worry about her and her friends u would have to worry about me cos i would not think twice about confronting u how dare u call someone names like that and u wonder why some teenagers behave d way do do ur a disgrace just mind ur own business next time

Rented Mule · 26-03-2009 08:14AM

xxmarymoxx wrote: »

well if my teenage daughter littered which she wud never do by the way and u called her a scumbag and a knacker u wudnt have to worry about her and her friends u would have to worry about me cos i would not think twice about confronting u how dare u call someone names like that and u wonder why some teenagers behave d way do do ur a disgrace just mind ur own business next time

Ahhhh ....an enabler.

CDfm · 26-03-2009 08:15AM

artielange wrote: »

A very upset father or brother might be a bigger problem than litter:)

My thoughts exactly -if it was my daughter I would complain to the guards but others are not so law abiding.TBH and please dont take this in the wrong way but you sound like a nutter.:(

tbh · 26-03-2009 08:20AM

lead by example. Pick up the cup yourself and shoot her a filthy look. She'll probably get defensive - she's a teenager - but maybe she'll be embarrassed enough not to do it the next time. If she's not, then she wouldn't be if you'd shouted at her anyway. The most important thing is that the cup gets picked up, right?

Rented Mule wrote: »

Ahhhh ....an enabler.

+1. Most parents would be mortified that their child had embarrassed them by behaving like a scumbag, but there's a certain type of parent who deals with that embarrassment by going on the attack. Pathetic really.

CDfm · 26-03-2009 08:29AM

tbh wrote: »

lead by example. Pick up the cup yourself and shoot her a filthy look.

I agree with you on this

+1. Most parents would be mortified that their child had embarrassed them by behaving like a scumbag, but there's a certain type of parent who deals with that embarrassment by going on the attack. Pathetic really.

If you were a Dad or older brother who walked innocently onto this situation you would think diferently - I would freak- because the confrontation was disproportionate.

OP if you are really so interested in the neighbourhood get in touch with tidy towns in your area and do it properly.

tbh · 26-03-2009 08:34AM

CDfm wrote: »

If you were a Dad or older brother who walked innocently onto this situation you would think diferently - I would freak- because the confrontation was disproportionate.
.

in fairness, calling them a knacker was too much. I was on a bus one day and stepping off it, this kid (who was with his mother) literally emptied his schoolbag all over the path - crisp bags, juice boxes and old sandwiches. I didn't say anything because I was sure that his mother would belt the head off him for doing it (I just assumed all mams were like mine) but she didn't, even tho she saw it. I said, as politely as I could given I was literally shaking with rage "Excuse me, are you not going to get your child to clean up his mess?" cue sustained verbal assault

that's what I'm talking about really.

xxmarymoxx · 26-03-2009 08:35AM

ive always taught my kids to respect adults someone shud teach some adults to respects kids some adults think they have a right to hurl abuse at other peoples kids its pathetic i feel sorry for their own kids if they can go out and shout abuse at a kid for dropping a cup

Joey the lips · 26-03-2009 08:38AM

i admire your sense of pride in your country but i would not have confronted them. Your just bringing trouble on yourself and no one will stand with you. Its a society thing.

I think good behaviour like this is learned. My mother and father though me and I am only 33 so I am not old school.

How did they teach me. When I got something on the street My mom would say give me that paper when your finished and dont throw it on the ground. After a while of seeing her it in the bin I would do it to impress her. See how its thought so easy.

This is what I see know. " Get that out of your hand its sticky and dirty". Most people carry baby wipes these days so why cant they wrap it and put it in their bag till they reach a bin?

It all goes back to good teaching thats why. That and no pride!

xxmarymoxx · 26-03-2009 08:55AM

well said it becomes a habit if u lead by example if im in a park and kids cant find a bin they will wait until d do plus i have a bin tied to the bag seat of my car if kids are eating crisps or sweets d bin the papers they have its like puttin on a seat belt it becomes automatic but u still see parents with kids in cars jumping around with no seatbelts on or smaller ones standin up in the front seats i wont start my car until everyone is straped in i never have to say it anymore cos the kids get in and automatically but belts on

seanybiker · 26-03-2009 09:02AM

She was only being a gobby child. I hate littering aswell but I know people are always gonna do it. Abusing a child over something thats gonna happen anyway is a bit childish in my opinion.
You where in the right about the littering but once you said you verbally abused a child you brought yourself down a level or two.

mags16 · 26-03-2009 10:16AM

I had a lovely french flatmate who was a big softie but he looked scary. He has a mohican, missing tooth, some piercings etc - you get the picture. He was at the Jervis Luas stop and a young fella dropped his half eaten take away, bag and all, on the ground. My friend told him to pick it up. Young fella tells him to f**ck off. My friend screams "PICK IT UP!". Young fella picks it up, puts it into the litter bin and scurries off. Next time that fella decides to litter, he'll have a good look around to make sure there is no crazy looking french guy in the vicinity.

Just had a run in with some littering teenagers...

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