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Elbows on tables = Bad Manners? What table "rules" should be ignored?

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Comments

  • #32
    asdasd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,185 ✭✭✭asdasd


    I've seen English people gently push some peas onto the downfacing fork - held in the left hand- with a knife and hope for the best as they bring them up.

    On average they get about two peas every go.


  • #33
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    acontadino wrote: »
    the guy that actually came up with all this crap was some italian chap, wrote some book hundreds of years ago about etiquette(?)

    Doesn't surprise me, bloody italians.

    I hate when people throw an unused napkin into the sauce remnants on their plates. What a waste.


  • #34
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,269 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    If you've ever worked with a bunch of down syndrome folk, you'll know as soon as one of them starts masturbating they all go at it.

    This has happened to me while we were all at a table during dinner.

    Jesus, you get drunk once at the work Christmas party, and you never hear the end of it...


  • #35
    asdasd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,185 ✭✭✭asdasd


    As far as I recall eoin, you've done that a lot more than once.
    Doesn't surprise me, bloody italians.


    Hmm, they dont seem to follow these silly rules nowadays, though.


  • #36
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    asdasd wrote: »
    Hmm, they dont seem to follow these silly rules nowadays, though.


    The one's I know do, just to make life complicated.


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  • #37
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Spare me form those cnunts who hold a knife and and fork like a pen.

    All these rules are there for a reason, like you don't shift on to one cheek and unload a ripper at a wedding.

    Just not done.


  • #38
    FruitLover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,534 ✭✭✭FruitLover


    papajimsmooth wrote: »
    Its rude to cut open a breadroll, you are supposed to rip it open.

    While beating your chest.


  • #39
    ukraine_orange
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭ukraine_orange


    alexander.t wrote: »
    How the hell do you eat pizza with a knife and fork???

    It's quite easy... :confused:
    BOFH_139 wrote: »
    I do not see anything wrong with using your hands to eat, but if I'm in a restaurant I say to the rule of only ever using one hand.

    That does depend on what the food is, though. I wouldn't start eating spaghetti with my hands. But I'd maybe eat Pizza with my hands (if I was in the right mood :P)
    FruitLover wrote: »
    While beating your chest.

    LOL.


  • #40
    UnderpantsGnome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 137 ✭✭UnderpantsGnome


    I fully believe in/agree with this rule, that's it's rude to have your elbows on the table, but I always find my elbows ending up on the f*cking thing!

    In public I'm always going "F*ck, take them off" and remove them from the table but in private I let my eyes linger on them and think to myself "Why do I seem to always have my elbows on the table? It's something I agree is rude, yet my elbows always end up there. Are they staging their own type of protest at the rules of polite society? Should I be worried?" and end up leaving them there because if I took them off they'd only wind up back on the table again.

    :(


  • #41
    misty floyd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,905 ✭✭✭misty floyd


    Waiting for everybody at the table to receive their dinner before you eat yours is dumb. The person waiting for their dinner feels stupid and everyone's dinner is going cold.
    Its funny looking when one person that doesn't know this dumb rule starts their dinner, shoves food in, looks up and realises nobody else is eating. They then put their knife and fork down and chew trying not to be noticed. Annoys me but I still follow this if out on a work thing or out with people I might not know.


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  • #42
    Zillah
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    Pighead wrote: »
    Ah c'mon. If a waiter hasn't got time to say "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished" well then he's not much of a waiter. A good waiter will tend to his tables needs, engage in frivolous chit-chat and most importantly try and give the impression that you are the most important person in the room!

    Pighead respectfully puts it to you that you were/are a shit waiter.

    I don't want a waiter to bother me with unnecessary questions. Ideally we would use some sort of non-intrusive telepathy for him to understand my wishes. By putting my knife and fork together I can get one step closer to such communication and one less reason to have the help engage me in conversation. There are similar traditions around the world. For example, in China when your tea pot is empty you put it near the side of the table and put the lid slightly off centre. Moments later a fresh pot of tea will silently appear. It's an efficient system, don't rock the boat you barbarian.


  • #43
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    allabouteve wrote: »
    Doesn't surprise me, bloody italians.

    I hate when people throw an unused napkin into the sauce remnants on their plates. What a waste.

    Careful.

    To preserve an unused napkin is considered rude because it implies the host or hostess cannot afford, or would prefer to avoid laundry costs.

    Its considered rude to place your elbows on the table because you may jog your neighbour beside you as they use their knife.

    Its considered rude to turn your fork because you'll have to open your mouth wider to accommodate it, and no-one wants to see your tonsils.

    Its rude to cut your roll, rather than tear it, because the knife provided is for spreading butter, and its considered overkill to provide two knives.

    Italians often forgo the use of a sideplate for bread, as the naipery is changed with every meal anyway.

    Its rude to lick your knife because you may cause injury to yourself and ruin everyone else's meal.

    Most rules of manners are rooted in common sense, a few are simply ridiculous.


  • #44
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,591 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    It's difficult to get through a full sitting without putting your elbows on the table at some point, so I don't bother trying.


  • #45
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 36,089 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    In France it's not done to cut bread as it's akin to stabbing the body of Jesus. It's fine to tear it limb from limb though.


  • #46
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Careful.

    To preserve an unused napkin is considered rude because it implies the host or hostess cannot afford, or would prefer to avoid laundry costs.

    Its considered rude to place your elbows on the table because you may jog your neighbour beside you as they use their knife.

    Its considered rude to turn your fork because you'll have to open your mouth wider to accommodate it, and no-one wants to see your tonsils.

    Its rude to cut your roll, rather than tear it, because the knife provided is for spreading butter, and its considered overkill to provide two knives.

    Italians often forgo the use of a sideplate for bread, as the naipery is changed with every meal anyway.

    Its rude to lick your knife because you may cause injury to yourself and ruin everyone else's meal.

    Most rules of manners are rooted in common sense, a few are simply ridiculous.


    i do this- at home and in restaurants and i dont care

    what they gonna do throw me out?


  • #47
    m5ex9oqjawdg2i
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,220 ✭✭✭✭m5ex9oqjawdg2i


    What the hell kind of knife do you use? I wouldn't lick a steak knife or a stanley knife... but most would use a blunt butter knife... so yea I always lick my knife :)


  • #48
    MIN2511
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    I have eaten with some really messy lads and etiquette is quite important! Some eat with their hands and mouth... food everywhere, talking with food in their mouth... Not conscious of food on their lips/teeth.....

    I am no saint but some basic etiquette is needed!
    Elbow on the table, i really try to do that but i forget... I always close my cutlery...


  • #49
    TPD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,814 ✭✭✭TPD


    Anyone remember Nando's? The 'Do's and Don'ts of Etiquette' were great. Basically telling you to be a loud rude cnut at the table. Excellent food too.


  • #50
    JerryHandbag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭JerryHandbag


    I used to go out with a girl who basically told me I was mentally ill because I never heard about this 'knife & fork together after eating' codswallop....my parents never taught me this crap because I would imagine they were quietly grateful just to have a meal in front of them rather than worrying what exact position on the plate to put the cutlery after eating.....its upper class toffee-nosed snobbery of the damndest....so in memory of my ex (no shes not dead....yet) I make a point of putting my knife and fork as far away from each other as possible on the plate, the 'quarter past 9' position, so to speak. That'll learn the bitch. :P


  • #51
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,269 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    Aidric wrote: »
    It's difficult to get through a full sitting without putting your elbows on the table at some point, so I don't bother trying.

    It's only rude while eating. Between courses etc, it doesn't matter.


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  • #52
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Careful.

    To preserve an unused napkin is considered rude because it implies the host or hostess cannot afford, or would prefer to avoid laundry costs.

    Its considered rude to place your elbows on the table because you may jog your neighbour beside you as they use their knife.

    Its considered rude to turn your fork because you'll have to open your mouth wider to accommodate it, and no-one wants to see your tonsils.

    Its rude to cut your roll, rather than tear it, because the knife provided is for spreading butter, and its considered overkill to provide two knives.

    Italians often forgo the use of a sideplate for bread, as the naipery is changed with every meal anyway.

    Its rude to lick your knife because you may cause injury to yourself and ruin everyone else's meal.

    Most rules of manners are rooted in common sense, a few are simply ridiculous.

    Did you copy and paste that or did it come from your sublime head?

    Im not sure whats more worrying :P


  • #53
    Turd Ferguson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    I usually have an erection while eating at the dinner table. Is that bad etiquette?


  • #54
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,269 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    Do you rest your elbows on it?


  • #55
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Turd Ferguson wrote: »
    I usually have an erection while eating at the dinner table. Is that bad etiquette?

    Only if your elbows are on the table too.


  • #56
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Turd Ferguson wrote: »
    I usually have an erection while eating at the dinner table. Is that bad etiquette?
    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    Only if your elbows are on the table too.

    This might an exception to the rule..


  • #57
    1966
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,655 ✭✭✭1966


    Turd Ferguson wrote: »
    I usually have an erection while eating at the dinner table. Is that bad etiquette?


    - only if your hands cant be seen !


  • #58
    reggiethefirst
    Closed Accounts Posts: 180 ✭✭reggiethefirst


    pickarooney wrote: »
    In France it's not done to cut bread as it's akin to stabbing the body of Jesus. It's fine to tear it limb from limb though.

    Jesus or the bread?


  • #59
    alimo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭alimo


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    Only if your elbows are on the table too.
    hmmmm depends on who is under the table !


  • #60
    alimo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭alimo


    i meant that in reply to the erection at the table being bad manners


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  • #61
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    sagat wrote: »
    Mum always gave me **** for licking my plate.

    "Did I teach you no manners? You better not behave like that when you are out with other people!"

    Ohhhhh nooooooo that's one of the worst things you can do. Personally i think this is the most annoying things one can do, it pi**es me off so much.


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