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to smack, or not to smack

  • 24-02-2009 03:21AM
    #1
    carlybabe1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,069 ✭✭✭carlybabe1


    So, am just wondering how many of you have been is a shop/supermarket/cinema where a youngster has been actin up, and thought
    "Id give that little fcuker a good shmack"


    Or indeed how many of you have been witness to a youngster gettin a smack and thinking "ye cnut, try that with someone your own size"

    Is smacking ever ok

    to smack or not to smack 201 votes

    Yes, certainly, never did me any harm
    0% 1 vote
    No never, violence doesnt solve anything
    61% 124 votes
    Occasionally, circumstances warrant it
    37% 76 votes


«134567…18

Comments

  • #2
    UnderpantsGnome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 137 ✭✭UnderpantsGnome


    It's never not okay to not smack an infant.


  • #3
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,351 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    The worst is idiot parents who give their already hyperactive children a bottle of coke and a chocolate bar if they promise to behave. The child is already mental, how the hell is a shítload of sugar gonna make them any better?


  • #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 11,928 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't believe in publicly berating anyone.
    If they are terribly bad, you take them straight home for discipling.
    But any decent parent should have mastered the art of the I mean business look.


  • #5
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    I'd say the vast majority of people are capable enough parents to know when to smack for the child's benefit. But there is that PC crowd who think smacking should be banned, those people should be smacked.


  • #6
    Epic Tissue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,015 ✭✭✭Epic Tissue


    AlmightyCushion wrote: »
    The worst is idiot parents who give their already hyperactive children a bottle of coke and a chocolate bar if they promise to behave. The child is already mental, how the hell is a shítload of sugar gonna make them any better?

    sugar crash:eek:


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  • #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Senna wrote: »
    I'd say the vast majority of people are capable enough parents to know when to smack for the child's benefit. But there is that PC crowd who think smacking should be banned, those people should be smacked.

    You are so clueless. I work with large groups of children and there is never any reason to discipline them with violence. If they are being hyperactive then you have already made a mistake; compounding that with a violent outburst is just bad parenting. Setting down clear boundaries and not being embarrassed or too detached to be able to speak to your child properly to enforce those boundaries is a failure of the parent, not the child.


  • #8
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    There's absolutely nothing wrong with smacking a child, those who claim there is are generally not parents themselves, or are the type who'll end up with hyper, disobedient children who they claim has ADHD and won't take responsibility for their crappy parenting.


  • #9
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Rb wrote: »
    There's absolutely nothing wrong with smacking a child, those who claim there is are generally not parents themselves, or are the type who'll end up with hyper, disobedient children who they claim has ADHD and won't take responsibility for their crappy parenting.

    Wow, yet again someone with no idea what they are talking about.

    Let me make this clear:

    If you hit a child as a parent then you are a lazy parent.


  • #10
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Deleted User wrote: »
    You are so clueless. I work with large groups of children

    But, correct me if I'm wrong, you don't have any children of your own right?


  • #11
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Wow, yet again someone with no idea what they are talking about.

    Let me make this clear:

    If you hit a child as a parent then you are a lazy parent.
    Lol k, if you say so.


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  • #12
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Rb wrote: »
    But, correct me if I'm wrong, you don't have any children of your own right?

    Alas, none yet. I have, however, got years of experience working with difficult children and I can say without any reservation that hitting a child is never a reasonable way to discipline them.


  • #13
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    Deleted User wrote: »
    You are so clueless. I work with large groups of children and there is never any reason to discipline them with violence. If they are being hyperactive then you have already made a mistake; compounding that with a violent outburst is just bad parenting. Setting down clear boundaries and not being embarrassed or too detached to be able to speak to your child properly to enforce those boundaries is a failure of the parent, not the child.

    You work with kids, do you have kids? big difference

    edit; RB already asked the question.


  • #14
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Alas, none yet. I have, however, got years of experience working with difficult children and I can say without any reservation that hitting a child is never a reasonable way to discipline them.
    Ah so you can't exactly be seen to be saying publicly that it's ok to smack a bold kid, I get ya now ;)


  • #15
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    As adults, we are bigger, more experienced, more knowledgeable, and smarter than children.

    If we employ violence to impose order on a childs behaviour, it means we are choosing to ignore the myriad of other options that being adults affords us.

    To smack a child is to take the most immediate, the simplest, the (possibly) most effective action to control them in the short term.

    It is also the most damaging, the laziest, the least imaginative, and the cruellest option.

    And any parent who cares for their childs emotional development will put a little effort in, and find a solution that works without inflicting physical pain, inflicting fear, inflicting psychological harm, on an individual far, far, less able to defend themselves than any adult.


  • #16
    brendansmith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭brendansmith


    Beating a child to death is going too far imho.


  • #17
    Mezcita
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭Mezcita


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    As adults, we are bigger, more experienced, more knowledgeable, and smarter than children.

    If we employ violence to impose order on a childs behaviour, it means we are choosing to ignore the myriad of other options that being adults affords us.

    To smack a child is to take the most immediate, the simplest, the (possibly) most effective action to control them in the short term.

    It is also the most damaging, the laziest, the least imaginative, and the cruellest option.

    And any parent who cares for their childs emotional development will put a little effort in, and find a solution that works without inflicting physical pain, inflicting fear, inflicting psychological harm, on an individual far, far, less able to defend themselves than any adult.

    Well said.


  • #18
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    As adults, we are bigger, more experienced, more knowledgeable, and smarter than children.

    If we employ violence to impose order on a childs behaviour, it means we are choosing to ignore the myriad of other options that being adults affords us.

    To smack a child is to take the most immediate, the simplest, the (possibly) most effective action to control them in the short term.

    It is also the most damaging, the laziest, the least imaginative, and the cruellest option.

    And any parent who cares for their childs emotional development will put a little effort in, and find a solution that works without inflicting physical pain, inflicting fear, inflicting psychological harm, on an individual far, far, less able to defend themselves than any adult.
    How many kids do you have yourself?


  • #19
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    wont somebody please think of the children:rolleyes:


  • #20
    puntosporting
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 977 ✭✭✭puntosporting


    Its amazing the damage it did to me and all my friends!
    I mean we are all parents ourselves now have kids and are happy shock!!!


  • #21
    Mezcita
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭Mezcita


    Rb wrote: »
    How many kids do you have yourself?

    Mind if I slap your nephew/niece for being a brat? Thought not.


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  • #22
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055235671

    That's the last thread done on the topic last year, will be interesting to see how much soppy dr.phil-esque liberal bollocks has sunk in over this side of the atlantic since.


  • #23
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Rb wrote: »
    Ah so you can't exactly be seen to be saying publicly that it's ok to smack a bold kid, I get ya now ;)

    Humour, nice. I would never lay a hand on a child and implying otherwise is offensive in the highest possible way and I would appreciate it if you would retract the implication, even if made in jest.

    As for this parental distinction.

    Just cause you have kids does not mean you are a good parent. In fact most people suck at being parents. Your distinction implies the simple fact of having children makes a person more able to comment on this issue which is frankly ridiculous. My opinion is based on personal reflection combined with a large amount of experience in this area, the same as yours is. If you think hitting your own child is a reasonable way to discipline them then you should take some time to re-think your approach.

    If you hit them how can you reprimand them for displaying similar violence to their peers? They are simply emulating what they see as a normal relationship between their loved ones and themselves. So how can you tell them not to hit someone?

    What age is it appropriate to hit a child until? If it is ok at 4 is it ok at 7? Is it ok at 10? 14?


  • #24
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Mezcita wrote: »
    Mind if I slap your nephew/niece for being a brat? Thought not.
    No, but I wouldn't let you give them "time out" or other such soppy crap either, it's neither your nor my place to discpline a child that doesn't belong to you/me.


  • #25
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Rb wrote: »
    No, but I wouldn't let you give them "time out" or other such soppy crap either, it's neither your nor my place to discpline a child that doesn't belong to you/me.

    If I was a teacher/ sports coach/ anyone else who acts in loco parentis it would be fine though?


  • #26
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    The people dead set against smacking, what do you envisage happening? parents beating their children up and down the road all day?

    I got a smack if i done something wrong, but i wasn't smacked every time i through a tantrum and i dont think i was smacked in public (not much anyway). It was the threat of smacking that keep me right, as did many of the kids i grew up with.
    Your distinction implies the simple fact of having children makes a person more able to comment on this issue which is frankly ridiculous

    At the end of the day you walk away from the kids you work with, you have your own time and your own space. Parents have kids 24/7 and so know more about the stress involved.


  • #27
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Humour, nice. I would never lay a hand on a child and implying otherwise is offensive in the highest possible way and I would appreciate it if you would retract the implication, even if made in jest.

    As for this parental distinction.

    Just cause you have kids does not mean you are a good parent. In fact most people suck at being parents. Your distinction implies the simple fact of having children makes a person more able to comment on this issue which is frankly ridiculous. My opinion is based on personal reflection combined with a large amount of experience in this area, the same as yours is. If you think hitting your own child is a reasonable way to discipline them then you should take some time to re-think your approach.

    If you hit them how can you reprimand them for displaying similar violence to their peers? They are simply emulating what they see as a normal relationship between their loved ones and themselves. So how can you tell them not to hit someone?

    What age is it appropriate to hit a child until? If it is ok at 4 is it ok at 7? Is it ok at 10? 14?

    Often people who hit their kids will say that when the child hits about ten that s/he's ''too big'' for a slap. So, its okay to belt them when they're too small to fight back, but watch it when they get bigger?
    Rb wrote: »
    No, but I wouldn't let you give them "time out" or other such soppy crap either, it's neither your nor my place to discpline a child that doesn't belong to you/me.

    I've news for you, mate, your child is not your property, and doesn't ''belong'' to you.


  • #28
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    Senna wrote: »

    At the end of the day you walk away from the kids you work with, you have your own time and your own space. Parents have kids 24/7 and so know more about the stress involved.

    Parental stress is never an excuse to hit a child.


  • #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Senna wrote: »
    The people dead set against smacking, what do you envisage happening? parents beating their children up and down the road all day?

    I got a smack if i done something wrong, but i wasn't smacked every time i through a tantrum and i dont think i was smacked in public (not much anyway). It was the threat of smacking that keep me right, as did many of the kids i grew up with.



    At the end of the day you walk away from the kids you work with, you have your own time and your own space. Parents have kids 24/7 and so know more about the stress involved.

    Actually I have worked with kids 24/7, albeit never for an extended period. However, your point actually works against you. What you are essentially saying is that parents get so stressed it's an expedient method of disciplining the child to smack them. I agree, it is expedient. I just think it is lazy and a parent has to accept that they should be a better parent and discipline their child properly, without recourse to violence.

    Also, just because something "did you no harm" doesn't mean it was or is right. That's nonsense. There are people who have smoked every day of their lives and haven't had a single medical problem. It doesn't follow that someone else will be fine. Just because you turned out fine does not mean that your children will not be scarred by it.

    Also, I would disagree that you turned out fine given that you think hitting a small child is acceptable.


  • #30
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Parental stress is never an excuse to hit a child.

    Having no kids does not give you enough experience to know if smacking is ok or not. Become a parent and feel free to bump this thread.


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  • #31
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Humour, nice. I would never lay a hand on a child and implying otherwise is offensive in the highest possible way and I would appreciate it if you would retract the implication, even if made in jest.

    As for this parental distinction.

    Just cause you have kids does not mean you are a good parent. In fact most people suck at being parents. Your distinction implies the simple fact of having children makes a person more able to comment on this issue which is frankly ridiculous. My opinion is based on personal reflection combined with a large amount of experience in this area, the same as yours is. If you think hitting your own child is a reasonable way to discipline them then you should take some time to re-think your approach.

    If you hit them how can you reprimand them for displaying similar violence to their peers? They are simply emulating what they see as a normal relationship between their loved ones and themselves. So how can you tell them not to hit someone?

    What age is it appropriate to hit a child until? If it is ok at 4 is it ok at 7? Is it ok at 10? 14?

    It's alright to give them a smack, not a thump, until they realise that there are real consequences to their behaviour (both good and bad).
    Deleted User wrote: »
    If I was a teacher/ sports coach/ anyone else who acts in loco parentis it would be fine though?
    No, absolutely not, it's not their place. Yes, these people are to discipline the children but it's not their place to, for example, ground them. It's beyond their power, similarly they couldn't say "You're coming over and cutting my grass every weekend for not doing that homework", but it's absolutely fine for the childs parent to make them cut the grass for a month for messing up.
    Senna wrote: »
    The people dead set against smacking, what do you envisage happening? parents beating their children up and down the road all day?

    I got a smack if i done something wrong, but i wasn't smacked every time i through a tantrum and i dont think i was smacked in public (not much anyway). It was the threat of smacking that keep me right, as did many of the kids i grew up with.

    Absolutely and this was the running thought in the last thread, iirc.
    Senna wrote:
    At the end of the day you walk away from the kids you work with, you have your own time and your own space. Parents have kids 24/7 and so know more about the stress involved.

    Indeed.
    allabouteve wrote: »
    Often people who hit their kids will say that when the child hits about ten that s/he's ''too big'' for a slap. So, its okay to belt them when they're too small to fight back, but watch it when they get bigger?

    Oh come on now, do you really think a 10 year old is going to fight back in any significant way? Are you serious?

    Children outgrow smacks when, as I said, they begin to realise that there are consequence to their their actions. It's also around the same time as they start lying, there is then no use in smacking the child if they know that the only thing that will happen for being bold is a smack across the arse, hence when you bring in "bigger" punishments such as cutting their pocket money.
    allabouteve wrote:
    I've news for you, mate, your child is not your property, and doesn't ''belong'' to you.

    Ok "mate", and how many do you have yourself?
    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Parental stress is never an excuse to hit a child.

    I'll take it that your lack of reply to my previous question means that you do indeed have no children?


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