What useare cats

banshee_bones · 16-02-2009 10:16PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muLIPWjks_M

quality....!

kerash · 17-02-2009 02:57AM

What use are cats? WHAT USE ARE CATS?!!!!!!!
What use are you?

17-02-2009 05:55AM

colrow · 17-02-2009 09:41AM

They cats make a good pair of slippers, and if they are freshly dead, got that nice warm feeling

Queen-Mise · 17-02-2009 01:27PM

brilliant for clawing faces

colrow · 17-02-2009 06:21PM

yeah, and if you use em as a brush when painting, you can use them as a fire lighter, after they've been dipped in turps

Deki · 15-03-2009 10:03PM

1. Put both the seat and lid in the up position. Add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up kitty. Soothe him as you carry him to the bathroom.
3. In one smooth, quick movement drop cat into bowl. Quickly shut both lids.( At this point you may be required to stand on top lid.)
4. The cat will self-agitate,providing ample suds. (Ignore noises from toilet- the cat is actually enjoying this).
5. Flush toilet 2 or three times to provide a "power wash" and rinse.
6. Be sure to have the front door to your home open. Ensure there are no people or obstacles between the toilet and the door.
7.Standing as far behind the toilet as you can get - Quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket from the toilet, streak through the house and out the door. Once outside he will calm down and dry himself in the sun.
9. Rewards- you now have both a shining commode and freshly cleaned kitty !
Sincerely Yours,
The Dog

Queen-Mise · 16-03-2009 01:08AM

They provide aerobic exercise for dogs

homah_7ft · 16-03-2009 01:14AM

They help us identify which people are allergic to cats.

16-03-2009 01:48AM

They stand in when the rabbit's on holiday, down at the dogs.

staker · 16-03-2009 01:56AM

they make a great sliotar.
and "kill the cat,kill the cat" is my favourite pastime whilst driving.

homah_7ft · 16-03-2009 02:01AM

They form the first, some say most important, part of caterpillars.

staker · 16-03-2009 02:05AM

i see what you done there homie:cool:

16-03-2009 02:09AM

They're good at slowing down traffic outside schools.

homah_7ft · 16-03-2009 02:09AM

Don't thank me, thank the cats.

Queen-Mise · 16-03-2009 03:02AM

as an accessory for sofas

FredH3as · 16-03-2009 12:44PM

Without them a large scale disaster would not be a catastrophe

staker · 16-03-2009 11:54PM

without them that "catch it behind the door" joke would've never taken off.

Queen-Mise · 17-03-2009 01:25AM

the same for mr hands except for small people

colrow · 19-03-2009 09:11PM

queen-mise wrote: »

the same for mr hands except for small people

What does that mean exactly, its confusicated moi. And I am King Vandal of Kerry

Queen-Mise · 19-03-2009 09:15PM

Mr Hands use to have sex with horses (both ways seemingly), he died during one of his encounters and it was caught on video, available on internet if you like watching those things.

colrow · 19-03-2009 09:18PM

I wish you hadn't enlightened me with that little snippet.

I gotta clean out the old silage tomorrow and dump it in the poo pit.

I've got a feral cat thats decided to make its home in the barn, and i quite like that, i imagine its your familiar.

Queen-Mise · 19-03-2009 09:28PM

enjoy the work, and your probably right on the feral cat

colrow · 19-03-2009 09:33PM

Its better than all the bs at work, I'm in heaven here shoveling poo with my tractor, visiting neighbours, getting the i's dotted and the t's crossed with the slicitor, and bank.

Very shy the cat is, only lets himself be seen occaisonly

Queen-Mise · 20-03-2009 01:45PM

cats are fun to throw water over. Take such insult at it

colrow · 20-03-2009 01:47PM

Thanks for the tip

Lynskey · 17-04-2009 06:26PM

Dogs have masters, cats have servants so yeah its pointless domesticating the furballs unless you have a serious inferiority complex

barleybooley · 17-04-2009 06:42PM

banshee_bones wrote: »

Cats are great pets, cuddly and loveable, they keep rats away. And stroking a cat or dog for 20 minutes or so has been shown to reduce blood pressure.
Therefore pets such as cats have a theraputic affect.

I think everyone's forgetting their most important function: they're GREAT for testing cosmetics on.
*Cue tirade of abuse from bestiality-loving, animal rights activists*

Also, I've heard if you die, they'll eat you. I guess if you were into alternative burial methods this might be novel.

What useare cats

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