Can't stand pregnant women!

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 12:37PM #1

Ok as the title says I can't stand pregnant women for some reason

.
It's something that's over come me in the last few months for no reason !
Like when I hear someone say "oh I'm pregnant or so and so is pregnant" I think " you stupid girl (was going to use another word for girl but best not,this is how strongly I feel about it

) or why on earth would you be happy at somehing like that ?" .

And my best friend comes to me the other day and tells me she's pregnant and I just fell silent and changed the subject and I'm currently avoiding contact with her to which she is in bits over ! which is killng me to do but I can't seem to get over this dislike of pregnant women

Please bare in mind I DO NOT enjoy being like this or WANT to be like this before the mob jumps on me over what I'm saying !

What can I do to get over this viw on it ?

P.S I'm A guy and 21

Thanks for reading

dorothygale · 14-02-2009 01:15PM

You probably have some issue with it, deep down in your psyche. Kinda like Equus blinding the horses. Just a symptom of a bigger problem, I mean who doesn't like pregnant women?

Dizzyblonde · 14-02-2009 01:25PM

Is it all pregnant women or people who you feel shouldn't be pregnant right now?
I hope you're hiding it well because you could really hurt people's feelings.

MysticalSoul · 14-02-2009 02:08PM

It takes two to tango, so you thinking "you stupid girl" is not hardly fair now. Also, some people want to have children, which is between both parties involved. Have you considered talking to someone about it?

Melion · 14-02-2009 02:09PM

Very strange

astrofool · 14-02-2009 02:18PM

Could you have feelings for your best friend, which you are now expressing by avoiding her?

Other than that, it just sounds like you need to grow up, you're still young.

Ickle Magoo · 14-02-2009 02:48PM

In what way can't you stand them?

Is it because it's an obvious sign they have had sex? Is it familial issues of your own? Is it something that has been repeated often to you? Maybe it is a quirky phobia?

I'm not sure why you would think anyone else would be stupid for getting pregnant when it is clearly their life & their decision & has very little to do with you. Are you jealous? Put out?

You have to think more about what the underlying feelings are, I think.

acid.rain · 14-02-2009 02:54PM

sounds like you have abandonment issues. maybe your mum left you at an early age or you have some deep-seated psychological issues with child-bearing women. maybe the thought of pregnant women and their changing bodies clashes with your studly image/idealism of womanhood in general

starchild · 14-02-2009 04:38PM

A friend of mine felt exactly the same way a couple of years ago, he was fairly distressed over this as the person who was pregnant was his sister whom he was very close to.

he looked into this and was told that although there doesnt seem to be a name attached to this condition it is very similar to tocophobia which is a fear of childbirth, some women and men do suffer from this

he was advised that the best way to counter this was to start spending small bits of time with his sister to get used to it and that in no time this feeling would leave him. Additionally he was told to look at the joy that a new baby brings to a family & his own feelings re pregnancy would naturally dissipate.

In his case it did but i would stress to the op that every case is different, this was not advice given by quaified people but friends of his. If the ops feelings are extremely strong i would suggest seeking professional help through his gp

best of luck

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 06:35PM

Hey

OP here,thanks for replies.

dorothygale wrote: »

I mean who doesn't like pregnant women?

I’m lost at this :confused

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

Is it all pregnant women or people who you feel shouldn't be pregnant right now?
I hope you're hiding it well because you could really hurt people's feelings.

No it’s just pregnant women in general,like for example when they get on a bus I’m on and if it’s kind of full and people get up and give their seat up it really annoys me because why should that person have to give up their seat just cause she got pregnant,it’s her that chose to get pregnant so she should have prepared herself for all the inconviences etc that come with it i.e sometimes having to stand etc and not be expecting people to help you out.

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

I hope you're hiding it well because you could really hurt people's feelings.

I don’t say anything to those around me that have got pregnant or are pregnant like my best friend who I’m sort of avoiding at the moment cause I see her as ..better not say actually.

astrofool wrote: »

Could you have feelings for your best friend, which you are now expressing by avoiding her?

Other than that, it just sounds like you need to grow up, you're still young.

No I don’t have feelings for her,well she is my best friend so I suppose I care a lot about her,known her al my life.

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

In what way can't you stand them?

Is it because it's an obvious sign they have had sex? Is it familial issues of your own? Is it something that has been repeated often to you? Maybe it is a quirky phobia?

I'm not sure why you would think anyone else would be stupid for getting pregnant when it is clearly their life & their decision & has very little to do with you. Are you jealous? Put out?

You have to think more about what the underlying feelings are, I think.

You know I think that may have something to do ith it, it may be the act of getting pregnant that makes me see them as ..again better not say what way I see them.
Used to think is it cause I’m jealous but I certainly don’t want one at all at my age .
You make some good points.

acid.rain wrote: »

sounds like you have abandonment issues. maybe your mum left you at an early age or you have some deep-seated psychological issues with child-bearing women. maybe the thought of pregnant women and their changing bodies clashes with your studly image/idealism of womanhood in general

Nope no abandonment issues had a normal upbringing,yea actually now you say about their changing bodies that dos actually get on my nerves ,the hold of their back and always putting their hands on their stomachs and people having to be all nice and happy for them so they don’t get upset, why should people be putting themselves out when the person chose to get pregnant so as I said they should be ready for all the inconveniences etc that come with it and not be expecting others to be facilitating them.

starchild wrote: »

A friend of mine felt exactly the same way a couple of years ago, he was fairly distressed over this as the person who was pregnant was his sister whom he was very close to.

he looked into this and was told that although there doesnt seem to be a name attached to this condition it is very similar to tocophobia which is a fear of childbirth, some women and men do suffer from this

he was advised that the best way to counter this was to start spending small bits of time with his sister to get used to it and that in no time this feeling would leave him. Additionally he was told to look at the joy that a new baby brings to a family & his own feelings re pregnancy would naturally dissipate.

Good points

about the spending time with someone who is pregnant, my friend wants me to be the child’s godfather if she keeps it, she hasn’t got many people to be there for her, doesn’t really talk to her parents and the bf isn’t on the scene anymore so she’s turning to me for help and support which I so so so badly want t give her but can’t seem to get over this stupid feckin hurdle!! 

SarahSassy · 14-02-2009 07:34PM

I would like to have kids but I hate the thought of being a pregnant woman and getting totally obsessed by the 'condition'.

While I would not dump my friends over it, I do also have little tolerance for the pregnancy monologue and long suffering attitude that a lot (but not all) women go on with.

You do strike me as the kind of guy who would not even give up a seat for an elderly person.

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 07:38PM

SarahSassy wrote: »

I would like to have kids but I hate the thought of being a pregnant woman and getting totally obsessed by the 'condition'.

While I would not dump my friends over it, I do also have little tolerance for the pregnancy monologue and long suffering attitude that a lot (but not all) women go on with.

This is another thing of what I'm saying ! they expect everyone to be intrested etc cause of them being pregnant

SarahSassy wrote: »

You do strike me as the kind of guy who would not even give up a seat for an elderly person.

I do that all the time..it's one thing I can't stand is seeing people stay sitting on a bus when there's elderly people standing !

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 07:48PM

The only people I know who reacted to pregnancy like that were gay men. I mean, they liked the idea of babies but talk of pregnancy and childbirth grossed them out.

Keith186 · 14-02-2009 07:56PM

LOL that's a strange dislike...

K_P · 14-02-2009 08:04PM

The thing is, most people who give up their seat on the bus or seem happy for pregnant women do so because they want to or they are happy for them. I don't think pregnant women EXPECT any of these things or would be put out if random people weren't hugely interested in their pregnancy.

Is it part of a wider dislike of women maybe? Do you feel women have an easier ride in life and get special treatment, particularly when pregnant? Does the dislike extend to babies or is it just pregnancy?

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 08:28PM

K_P wrote: »

The thing is, most people who give up their seat on the bus or seem happy for pregnant women do so because they want to or they are happy for them. I don't think pregnant women EXPECT any of these things or would be put out if random people weren't hugely interested in their pregnancy.

Is it part of a wider dislike of women maybe? Do you feel women have an easier ride in life and get special treatment, particularly when pregnant? Does the dislike extend to babies or is it just pregnancy?

Why would random people be happy for the pregnant woman ?
Nope nothing to do with islke of women or thinking they hav an easy ride etc.
And no it's just pregnant women ot when they actually have their children.
I'm really trying to think why they get on my nerves and posters are making some great points and giving great opinions too,thank you

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 08:32PM

No offence mate, but while yeah you may have issues, I honestly just think you should get over yourself.
Look.You're never going to be pregnant (obviously).You are entitled to dislike the whole pregnancy condition as much as you like, but to be quite honest, it's not about you.If it makes your friend happy to see you, then you put a face on, pretend you're happy and then continue the conversation. The point is that it's not about you.Since you never have to endure the condition yourself, it should never be a major issue.
You say you're only 21. At some point in your life you may enter a relationship with someone you love and decide you want kids.So the someone you love maybe eventually becomes pregnant.And....what do you do? What if she wants to have a family, and you don't because you "don't like pregnant women"?One of the biggest things in life is procreation. You don't have to gush over people who are pregnant, you don't even have to stand up and give your seat (though that reflects on you, not on the pregnant woman).Its one thing to be 21 and having a low opinion of people your age getting pregnant.What are you going to feel like in say 10 years when a lot of girls you know are pregnant because they want a family, and their partners want it too?????
It just sounds like you're a bit immature, and slightly selfish tbh.And maybe underneath it all, hurt that your friend got pregnant, because maybe you do like her, or maybe you think that she's not the kind of person to go out and do something like that at this age. That's something you've got to work out for yourself, but if you're a decent person, you'll go find her, congratulate her, and be a friend.You don't have to enter enthusiastically into all the pregnancy stuff, but the least you can do is say congrats.
I don't go in for women who are over the top about their pregnancies (its like parents who never stop going on about how wonderful their kids are) and I'm a woman.But sometimes, it's just not about you, and you need to at least appear happy for them, regardless of how you feel.

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 08:36PM

OP, you keep saying you don't want to write "the word" that you view pregnant women as being. Is it whore? or something along those lines? Do you see all pregnant women as whores (or whatever the word you are hinting at) or just the ones who are pregnant without being married? If you saw a women in her mid-30's who had been married for a few years, had a stable home life and she was pregnant, would you have the same feeling?

Do you consider all women who have sex to be whores? Are you a virgin? If not, do you see the girls who were you sex parteners as being whores?

One more question: Do you have a sibling who is much younger? IOW, was your mother ever pregnant when you were plenty old enough to understand all about the birds and the bees, possibly after you reached puberty? Anyway, some questions for you to think about...

I can understand the part you mentioned about pregnant women behaving as if the world revolves around them and their pregnancy (and I say that as a women who has two kids.) Some women do become a bit self-absorbed when expecting. It's probably biological.

But the other things you said...I'm not sure what they are about. I think there is something very deep going on there.

Nevyn · 14-02-2009 08:57PM

So do you think those negative thougts about your mother as she would have
gotten pregant or els you would not have exsisted.

14-02-2009 09:02PM

why should that person have to give up their seat just cause she got pregnant,it’s her that chose to get pregnant so she should have prepared herself for all the inconviences etc that come with it i.e sometimes having to stand etc and not be expecting people to help you out.

I was brought up to offer my seat to those who need it more than myself, whatever the reason, whether they're elderly, on crutches, pregnant, carrying a heavy bag, whatever. What does the reason matter?

You seem to see pregnancy as something that has nothing to do with you. You wouldn't be here if your mother hadn't got pregnant. The human race would cease to exist if nobody got pregnant. You seem to forget that it takes a man AND a woman to make a baby. I'm getting a strong sense of misogyny from your post, tbh.

LegacyUser · 14-02-2009 11:18PM

Hi OP here,

Some really good ponts being made I really appreciate them and the time given to post,giving me something to think about as to why I feel like this.
Got to clear this up I do not have a hatred of women it's nothin to do with that at all.
This is something that has just come over me in the last few months I was never feeling like this before.

Slutmonkey57b · 15-02-2009 11:33AM

You're jealous of the attention they get. Get over it.

starchild · 15-02-2009 07:39PM

hi op, i think from my earlier post its clear that i am not belittling your feelings on this but i just felt i had to reply to your comment re giving up your seat on a bus.

All i can say is imagine your friend who is say heavily pregnant getting on a bus, wouldnt you like to think someone would have the common decency to let her sit down. Its nothing to do with being pregnant, its good manners to let someone who may be feeling discomfort to have a chance to rest themselves when you are young and able bodied enough to stand for a journey without any discomfort to you whatsoever.

Wagon · 15-02-2009 08:32PM

Slutmonkey57b wrote: »

You're jealous of the attention they get. Get over it.

Bull****. It goes deeper than that.

This is very strange. The best way i can see you get past this OP is if you actually hang out with your friend. Pregnancy isn't easy and there's loads that can go wrong. You probably know this yourself. Being around her will help you understand what goes on and understanding something is how you get to grips with things.

To me, i don't think it's the actually act of getting pregnant that irritates you. It might be more that fact that some pregnant women can be complete bitches and expect the world to fall at their feet and do everything for them. The thing to remember here though is 99% of the time though, those people were like that before they got pregnant.

Lollipops23 · 15-02-2009 08:45PM

how strange.
OP i can only speak for myself,but i know the reason i'd be more tolerant of pregnant women complaining/being tired/being moody because i understand how crap their feeling(from being sick or having heartburn) and that not only are they hormone crazy but they're probably terrified at the huge life-altering thing they are embarking on. Maybe they did decide to get pregnant,maybe they didn't. But if every girl decided not to, we'd go extinct.
I'm only now realsing how hard pregnancy is on the human body as a close mate is pregnant. bless her,she's trying to keep her spirits up , but being in and out of hospital is killing her. So people around her trying to make things just a tiny but easier means a lot.

laurak265 · 15-02-2009 09:08PM

You don't sound very nice mate. I had a baby and i know what it feels like. I got sick for 9 months solid. I didn't plan it, my ex wanted me to stay with him but a baby wouldn't stop me leaving him!! Anyway i still couldn't justify killing the baby and i kept it. Its not nice being pregnant and i remeber standing on the luas all the way from city centre to tallaght so fair play to anyone who gives up their seat from a pregnant woman cos no one did it for me. Its a very tiring process..the baby saps your energy to use it to devope a whole other person not to mention the weight from the from neary knocking ya over!!

Anyway i think you need to cop on to yourself. Your not much of a friend to your friend with your behaviour and i hope to god you don't get anyone pregnant cos you won't be much use to anyone.

Húrin · 15-02-2009 09:11PM

Why ? 08 wrote: »

Ok as the title says I can't stand pregnant women for some reason .
It's something that's over come me in the last few months for no reason !
Like when I hear someone say "oh I'm pregnant or so and so is pregnant" I think " you stupid girl (was going to use another word for girl but best not,this is how strongly I feel about it ) or why on earth would you be happy at somehing like that ?" .

OP are you attracted to any of the following:

1. 'bad' smells
2. destruction, aggression or violence.
3. gadgets, machines or large infrstructural projects?

Thanks

laurak265 wrote: »

You don't sound very nice mate. ...
Anyway i think you need to cop on to yourself. Your not much of a friend to your friend with your behaviour and i hope to god you don't get anyone pregnant cos you won't be much use to anyone.

Laura this is unfair. The OP is repentant and does not wish to think as he does.

John Mason · 15-02-2009 09:33PM

i am completely with you on this. i dont think pregnant women should be let out side the house.

there is something completely disgusting and revolting about their big bellies. they seriously turn my stomach

Nevyn · 15-02-2009 09:38PM

If you are having such a phycial reaction due to your tocophobia I suggest you see a dr.

Eric Cartman · 15-02-2009 09:49PM

Why ? 08 wrote: »

Ok as the title says I can't stand pregnant women for some reason .
It's something that's over come me in the last few months for no reason !
Like when I hear someone say "oh I'm pregnant or so and so is pregnant" I think " you stupid girl (was going to use another word for girl but best not,this is how strongly I feel about it ) or why on earth would you be happy at somehing like that ?" .

And my best friend comes to me the other day and tells me she's pregnant and I just fell silent and changed the subject and I'm currently avoiding contact with her to which she is in bits over ! which is killng me to do but I can't seem to get over this dislike of pregnant women

Please bare in mind I DO NOT enjoy being like this or WANT to be like this before the mob jumps on me over what I'm saying !
What can I do to get over this viw on it ?

P.S I'm A guy and 21

Thanks for reading

dude im exactley like you, i wont even give up a seat on a train for somebody pregnant, its their own fault, i just think its horrible in every dimension, your not alone

LegacyUser · 15-02-2009 10:18PM

Seeing pregnant women is also a big fat reminder that there are consequences to having sex. OP do you have sex and do you have mature conversations about contraception with the women you sleep with? Do you have anxieties about getting someone pregnant and getting "trapped"?

Or do you not have much or any sex and hate reminders that other people are out there, blatantly doing it all the time?

You say you don't have a problem with babies or people having children in general. You just need to remind yourself that people having babies includes being pregnant and is absolutely normal human behaviour, and it's not for you to judge whether they "should" be having them or not.

Can't stand pregnant women!

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