The stingey-assed wedding thread

dodgyme · 05-02-2009 05:29PM

partyguinness wrote: »

It doesnt cost any money to get married.

Its essentially a piece of paper. Go to a Registry office...

partyguinness is it. Its all in the name?

AnonoBoy · 05-02-2009 05:30PM

I was a terrible wedding once. The father of the bride had said he was going to pay for the wedding but actually paid the hotel with a forged cheque and so halfway through the meal they came out and confronted him and the whole thing ended up in a ridiculous shouting match. The Gardai arrived after the father of the bride assaulted the hotel manager, the groom and even his own wife.

It was a disaster.

With a start like that is it any wonder we got divorced a few months later. :mad:

partyguinness · 05-02-2009 05:31PM

dodgyme wrote: »

partyguinness is it. Its all in the name?

dodgyme · 05-02-2009 05:31PM

javaboy wrote: »

I don't geddit.

Look I wasnt talking about your generation

Quazzie · 05-02-2009 05:32PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I was a terrible wedding once. The father of the bride had said he was going to pay for the wedding but actually paid the hotel with a forged cheque and so halfway through the meal they came out and confronted him and the whole thing ended up in a ridiculous shouting match. The Gardai arrived after the father of the bride assaulted the hotel manager, the groom and even his own wife.

It was a disaster.

With a start like that is it any wonder we got divorced a few months later. :mad:

Was it your wedding?

xzanti · 05-02-2009 05:33PM

Mingey wrote: »

Fair play to them. Looks like the people only went for the free feed then. Why bother spending that much on people who are only going for their 'day out.'

Fair enough, if they'd been informed that this was the plan.. chances are their guests will have bought expensive gifts or put money in cards, shelled out for dresses and suits etc.. Weddings aren't cheap for the guests either.. The usual idea is that the couple will make back a certain amount on gifts.. This is bad form imho.. I would have went home and took the gift with me.

05-02-2009 05:33PM

partyguinness wrote: »

It doesnt cost any money to get married.

Its essentially a piece of paper. Go to a Registry office...

To get married in Ireland in any form (church, reg office etc.) it costs €150 as of November 2007.

stovelid · 05-02-2009 05:38PM

axel rose wrote: »

Turned out that the couple were indeed too lazy assed to thank the guests.

Was definitely stingy of them. Especially as it was a generous gift.

axel rose · 05-02-2009 05:42PM

stovelid wrote: »

Was definitely stingy of them. Especially as it was a generous gift.

Thanks-Ill take that hex off your toenails so.

cos!! · 05-02-2009 05:57PM

to be fair, weddings are usually a full day out with family and friends, and if your invited you buy a decent present or throw a generous few quid in the card, dress up in your best and expect a good day!!if i went to one of these wedding id be mighty pissed off!!people here sayin its expensive for the couple....fair enough it is, but dont invite guests if your not going to look after them!!and the price of the present or the amount in the card would easily cover the cost of your meal anyway!!

rant over....

January · 05-02-2009 06:03PM

Mingey wrote: »

Is that the only reason why you buy gifts for the couple?

Are you serious??

The only reason half those people were even invited to the wedding was because the bride and groom expected to get a present out of them!! If they had wanted them there at to celebrate them getting married then they would have at least shelled out to feed them! And, I bet she hadn't even seen most of them from one end of the year to the next and she expected them to shell out for their own food when they were invited to a party!!

I know times are hard and all but, as someone else mentioned, going to a wedding as a guest isn't cheap either you know! You have to buy something to wear (because not everyone has a dress for a wedding in their wardrobe), you have to pay for transport to and from the venue (sometimes twice over if its church then hotel), you may have to pay for accommodation if it's somewhere far off from where you live.

AnonoBoy · 05-02-2009 10:38PM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

Was it your wedding?

Yes. Yes it was.

Loopy · 05-02-2009 10:51PM

The best wedding I was at was a registery office and then on to the local pub, lots of drink and lovely pub grub, no fuss and everyone had a great day. It cost them £350 in total.

I was at a very fancy wedding this year and it was way over the top and not that enjoyable.. Cost €40,000:eek:

Sometimes stingy works.. (provided you get some scram)..

taram · 05-02-2009 11:17PM

There's a difference in having an economical wedding (buffet in a GAA hall, nom nom unlimited cocktail sauasages and wedges) and a stingy one (dinner is in a minute...that'll be 29.99 each please). They can look like each other, but at the end of the day, you'll have a blast at one and wanna stab the bride and groom at the other.

Terodil · 05-02-2009 11:21PM

I'm really boggling at all the standards that seem to be applied implicitly to plan or judge weddings.

I want a simple, small but very special and memorable wedding. It's a fallacy to believe that the amount of money spent on the wedding ceremony is in any way correlated with the happiness you are going to experience later. In my very personal opinion all those expensive wedding seat covers (wth??) and dresses for 2k EUR etc. are not really making a wedding special or unique, they make them more uniform if anything.

One thing that I'd never do is send out a 'wedding gift wish list'... come on. What would I want with a glass bowl for 200 EUR. If guests want to bring presents, then yes, please do, but don't believe that we would rate your feelings for us by the money you spent on them. If you bring a present that you made yourself with raw materials for 5 EUR but that ends up in our home as a memory of you and a lovely day spent together then you can be pretty damn sure that that's probably the best present of them all.

I wouldn't send anybody away ofc, it defeats the purpose of making it a very special day for everybody, but if you expect a menu for 100 EUR each... gtfo. I'd rather spend the money on the honeymoon trip. And you, as a dear friend or loved family member, wouldn't you prefer that too? I definitely know I would. In the extreme, as a wedding guest, I could be perfectly happy with a hotdog if everything else just fit

(although I'd probably go for something a tad more elaborate myself, lol).

muffinob1 · 05-02-2009 11:26PM

partyguinness wrote: »

It doesnt cost any money to get married.

Its essentially a piece of paper. Go to a Registry office...

It does actually cost - it costs to register and there are other fees even cheap registry one costs about 500e

Blisterman · 06-02-2009 02:06AM

Or don't get married at all.
Seriously, what's the point in this day and age?

Ann22 · 06-02-2009 02:14AM

I was invited to a wedding once, in with the invitation there was a note asking for a 'cash gift' instead of a present. Thought that was unusual, we were giving money anyway. Don't think I'd have the nerve to do that:o.

thermo66 · 06-02-2009 02:39AM

axel rose wrote: »

5 months after going to a wedding I had to phone the bride to check if she recieved my €250 cheque! I dont want anyone to give me any etiquette crap- A thank you card wouldnt have broken her hand! :mad:

250 yo yo's!!!

Were they family or a best friend?? Thats a lot of money to give to a random friend!

I was at a wedding where the mother of the bride was collecting cards etc, fair enough .. but i saw she was stuffing all the money into one envelope so any cheapskate who gave nothing got away with it while very generous people like yourself went unknownst. Not a big deal i know but thought it was a bit odd.

MIN2511 · 06-02-2009 02:44AM

My idea of a wedding is getting married in my parents garden, having the reception there as well with a local band playing all our favourite tunes...
I would never fork out ridiculous amount of money for one day, it just doesn't make sense!

I don't understand how people spend money they cannot afford on one day in their lives, these couples end up in divorce 5/6yrs later...
Sad!

axel rose · 06-02-2009 03:12AM

thermo66 wrote: »

250 yo yo's!!!

Were they family or a best friend?? Thats a lot of money to give to a random friend!

I was at a wedding where the mother of the bride was collecting cards etc, fair enough .. but i saw she was stuffing all the money into one envelope so any cheapskate who gave nothing got away with it while very generous people like yourself went unknownst. Not a big deal i know but thought it was a bit odd.

Not exactly a random mate, an old flatmate but i introduced her to what became the groom. I think I deserved a 'Thank you very much Ms Rose'.

badabinbadaboom · 06-02-2009 03:19AM

I was at a wedding once w

06-02-2009 04:17PM

badabinbadaboom wrote: »

I was at a wedding once w

Pics or GTFO.

Reesy · 07-02-2009 12:37AM

Terodil wrote: »

One thing that I'd never do is send out a 'wedding gift wish list'... come on. What would I want with a glass bowl for 200 EUR. If guests want to bring presents, then yes, please do, but don't believe that we would rate your feelings for us by the money you spent on them. If you bring a present that you made yourself with raw materials for 5 EUR but that ends up in our home as a memory of you and a lovely day spent together then you can be pretty damn sure that that's probably the best present of them all.

Fair play Terodil but a wedding list can help guests, especially those who don't see you often, to buy the things you need. When my OH & me got married we had a list of all the stuff we had to get for our new life together. Umpteen years later we are still using just about all of it, which is great. I guess if you have all your household stuff already, then you don't need such things.

Heckler · 07-02-2009 02:52AM

Reesy wrote: »

Fair play Terodil but a wedding list can help guests, especially those who don't see you often, to buy the things you need. When my OH & me got married we had a list of all the stuff we had to get for our new life together. Umpteen years later we are still using just about all of it, which is great. I guess if you have all your household stuff already, then you don't need such things.

Thats the difference. These days most couples have everything they need between them and are living together anyway before marriage. I'm getting married next year after 3 years going out and a 1 year engagement. We have everything we need in the line of usual wedding gifts, toasters etc.

We are having a very low key -50 people wedding because 1. we can't afford a 20K day out and 2. I don't really want 10 aunts and uncles I haven't seen in 15 years there. I'd rather have close friends. And its going to be come as you are. Some of my best friends wouldn't quite fit the wedding mold and I'm going to be delighted to see them there as they are. Was a best man once and was made cut my hair ffs.

Irish People = must own house + must have 20k wedding.

When my girlfriend told people she was after getting engaged she got, "how can you be engaged, you don't even own a house." What the hell is it with irish people and owning houses ? When they might eventually get it it's all they talk about for the rest of their feckin lives.

Professey Chin · 07-02-2009 03:19AM

Heckler wrote: »

Thats the difference. These days most couples have everything they need between them and are living together anyway before marriage. I'm getting married next year after 3 years going out and a 1 year engagement. We have everything we need in the line of usual wedding gifts, toasters etc.

We are having a very low key -50 people wedding because 1. we can't afford a 20K day out and 2. I don't really want 10 aunts and uncles I haven't seen in 15 years there. I'd rather have close friends. And its going to be come as you are. Some of my best friends wouldn't quite fit the wedding mold and I'm going to be delighted to see them there as they are. Was a best man once and was made cut my hair ffs.

Irish People = must own house + must have 20k wedding.

When my girlfriend told people she was after getting engaged she got, "how can you be engaged, you don't even own a house." What the hell is it with irish people and owning houses ? When they might eventually get it it's all they talk about for the rest of their feckin lives.

Are we invited?

khmk · 07-02-2009 03:25AM

Heckler wrote: »

Thats the difference. These days most couples have everything they need between them and are living together anyway before marriage. I'm getting married next year after 3 years going out and a 1 year engagement. We have everything we need in the line of usual wedding gifts, toasters etc.

We are having a very low key -50 people wedding because 1. we can't afford a 20K day out and 2. I don't really want 10 aunts and uncles I haven't seen in 15 years there. I'd rather have close friends. And its going to be come as you are. Some of my best friends wouldn't quite fit the wedding mold and I'm going to be delighted to see them there as they are. Was a best man once and was made cut my hair ffs.

Irish People = must own house + must have 20k wedding.

When my girlfriend told people she was after getting engaged she got, "how can you be engaged, you don't even own a house." What the hell is it with irish people and owning houses ? When they might eventually get it it's all they talk about for the rest of their feckin lives.

spot on.

people who blow thousands on a wedding are fuppin idiots imo.

how vain do you want to be?

get married and get on with it, don't have to throw a party for distant relatives you've never seen.

getting married next year and both of us have large extende families (my ma has 11 brothers and sisters alone) then there's my da's side and her family are the same.

rather get married and put the money towards getting our own family started.

I love her and im romantic and all.., but not 20 grand for one fuppin day romantic.

She loves me.

im almost sure she does.

bladebrew · 07-02-2009 03:32AM

christ! losing a days pay(in this reccesion etc etc) buying a present travelling to the wedding ,then being asked to pay for your own meal thats insane (as mentioned by a previous poster),are young girls now dreaming of this kind of wedding??!

khmk · 07-02-2009 03:38AM

a nice smile for the camera as her father cocks the shotgun to my kidneys is my gift.

its the gift that keeps on giving.

i don't know how but it does.

Mrs_Doyle · 07-02-2009 08:44AM

I'm getting married in Spain and its actually working out cheaper for my guests to come over to me for 2 days (flights + accommodation) then it is for them to spend 2 nights in Cavan for my friends wedding.

Return flights, including taxes etc, cost €110 pps, and accommodation in a 4 star hotel for 2 nights (incl breakfast) €25 per night, pps.

That's €160pps for 2 nights in Spain. When they arrive here they will be collected from the airport and brought to the hotel, they will be well fed (5course meal) and watered (free bar all night).
On their departure we will provide transport back to the airport.

My friend is getting married in meath, then driving up to Cavan for the reception.
Everyone will make their own way there. I know they will be well fed, but there definitely wont be a free bar.
Accommodation works out at €65 per night per person, and she has asked everyone to spend the 2 nights with them.
So that's €130 pps before you factor in the cost of petrol or the price of a drink.

I know she's doing her best to keep the cost down for people. but getting married in Ireland (paying Irish prices) just seems crazy to me.

The stingey-assed wedding thread

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