Shower break-in

Fanny Cradock · 31-01-2009 03:47PM

OP, given that the majority of posters here seem to find your showering habits unacceptable would it not be a good idea to ask your other flatmates if they, too, feel the same? You may be surprised!

There are two issues here.

Firstly, your showering routine is apparently impinging on the routine of others. Causing them to be late simply because you are enjoying your pleasure is unacceptable.

Secondly, your flatmates are paying for your daily pleasure. Every now and then I enjoy the odd pint, buying a CD or going to a gig, but I don't expect others to buy them for me. However, by not contributing anything extra to the electricity bill, you are getting your flatmates to pay for your showering excesses! A previous poster has already provided a link that calculates how much extra your habits may cost your flatmates each bill.

*Talk to your other flatmates and get their opinions. Don't assume that just because they haven broken down the door they haven't a problem with you being the shower for such a length of time.

*Time yourself in the shower.

*While breaking down the door was excessive, talk to the girl and try to understand why she felt she was driven to this. Yes, she may just be mental, but it also possible that you are being selfish.

*Remember, if you want to avoid conflict, then arrange times around other peoples' schedules as best you can. There is no sense in your pleasure causing stress in your flatmates' lives.

Eric_85 · 31-01-2009 04:03PM

Abigayle wrote: »

Eric, you stated you wouldnt even want to speak to her even if you could erase the shower incident. You have to realise that it took two of you to cause this static, and it will take two of you to fix this.

Disregard what the others think of her. That should be none of your concern. Your own opinion of her was already flawed to begin with. You didnt like her. Even if you were indifferent you might have replied to her.

You openly admit ignoring her, when a 'be out in 2' could have easily diffused the problem.

If you dont want to hear any opinions opposed to your own, I dont know what you want hear.

What she did was far from thought through, but I wont tell you that you were 100% right.

I did not like her knocking angrily on the door. Initially there was nothing else I particulary disliked about her. More to that we were friendly and never had much controversies. She used to start to argue angrily and swearingly if there where any controversies on which she could not convince the other person about. But those where all distant issues. Still if I volunteered to be friendly I do not think I want to volunteer any more. This does not mean I will start to engage into resentments but does mean I feel more to keep the distance.

I ignored the angry knock on the door while enjoying my private shower. I live in this house for so long because I feel that there is not a single tension here ever and I like this feeling. It feels better than previous place with chores which I also liked to do. I think that finding a consensus now shall open the doors for her to behave yet worse she would like to and I will not enjoy making further allegations and consensus to limit her behaviour somehow. She isn't that smart to be fair.

I mean that I may speak to her and I may not. I don't think speaking to her would be as good as not speaking to her. I am not going to show that a big issue happened here and I am not going to hide that the line was crossed. I think now even reporting to the landlady is not a necessity. I do not feel the need to negotiate everything each and every time. It is better to save the last one for other things. I will not really miss the small talk and big daily chat as it isn't particulary an interesting interlocutor that I may ever miss.

Pub07 · 31-01-2009 04:06PM

Look there's a simple solution. Just whack off before you get into the shower, then you'll be done in no time. Those shower boners can be hard to sustain so I can see why it could take you up to 40 mins. But it is completely unacceptable for you to be wasting electricity and other peoples time just so you can enjoy a shower jerk off session. You are way out of line here op, no-one needs to be spending 40 mins, let alone anything over 20 mins in the shower, especially in a house of 8 people.

Cpaw · 31-01-2009 04:11PM

Pub07 wrote: »

Look there's a simple solution. Just whack off before you get into the shower, then you'll be done in no time. Those shower boners can be hard to sustain so I can see why it could take you up to 40 mins. But it is completely unacceptable for you to be wasting electricity and other peoples time just so you can enjoy a shower jerk off session. You are way out of line here op, no-one needs to be spending 40 mins, let alone anything over 20 mins in the shower, especially in a house of 8 people.

What a silly post :rolleyes:

Eric I think you are the problem here. Look women always win in these situations so just LEAVE IT. You must be ulgy too, cos if you were any way good looking she would NOT treat you like that.

Zaph · 31-01-2009 04:21PM

Pub07 wrote: »

Look there's a simple solution. Just whack off before you get into the shower, then you'll be done in no time. Those shower boners can be hard to sustain so I can see why it could take you up to 40 mins. But it is completely unacceptable for you to be wasting electricity and other peoples time just so you can enjoy a shower jerk off session. You are way out of line here op, no-one needs to be spending 40 mins, let alone anything over 20 mins in the shower, especially in a house of 8 people.

Cpaw wrote: »

What a silly post :rolleyes:

Eric I think you are the problem here. Look women always win in these situations so just LEAVE IT. You must be ulgy too, cos if you were any way good looking she would NOT treat you like that.

May I remind people yet again that unhelpful or pointless posts may result in infractions and/or bans.

Thank you for your time.

Zaph

thermo66 · 31-01-2009 04:21PM

40 minute shower? That definitely WAY too long and a waste of money. Its different if you were living in your own house and paying the bill you can do what you like but whilst renting you have to be considerate of your housemates.

One of my ex flatmates had her boyfriend practically living with us and he used to contribute nothing. He was a nice guy but it was bad form on his and my flatmates part. He used to play football and come back to our place to shower etc, cooked seperately from evryone else etc so i know how frustrating it is. You can give some lee-way but when people do it constantly their taking the piss. It was my first year living out of home so was a bit naive. Would definitely say something if it was now awkward or not.

In saying that she definitely went too far. She should have went to the landlord and not acted like a psycho. But your in the wrong too :P

Eric_85 · 31-01-2009 04:23PM

Cpaw wrote: »

What a silly post :rolleyes:

Eric I think you are the problem here. Look women always win in these situations so just LEAVE IT. You must be ulgy too, cos if you were any way good looking she would NOT treat you like that.

O.K. I think the question is merely solved. It is naive to say what you say here.

Cpaw · 31-01-2009 04:25PM

Zaph wrote: »

May I remind people yet again that unhelpful or pointless posts may result in infractions and/or bans.

Thank you for your time.

Zaph

Boo. Isin't Infraction a LEGAL Term? Must show this to my Lawyer. I think your better off sticking to the ladies lounge mate ya hairy beast.

31-01-2009 04:30PM

what would happen if you broke into the bathroom while she was having a shower.

My guess is the police would be called.

Why not tell her next time that you'll call the police.

Eric_85 · 31-01-2009 04:30PM

Having shower for the forty minutes is too long. I can take it 25 minutes each and every time. But for cutting it to 15 10 or 5? I might want to try just to see if that is anyhow possible at all. This would be soap and shampoo on off and jump out. What will happen behind my ears? Will I have to move quickly instead of usual lasting pace? Will I have to surrender back massage? I would give an advice in return for those people who do care about their tidyness to measure how long does it really takes them inside the shower as 5 minutes is if you're in a rash. As a respectable person I'm never in a rash and have nothing to complain about.

thermo66 · 31-01-2009 04:34PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

Having shower for the forty minutes is too long. I can take it 25 minutes each and every time. But for cutting it to 15 10 or 5? I might want to try just to see if that is anyhow possible at all. This would be soap and shampoo on off and jump out. What will happen behind my ears? Will I have to move quickly instead of usual lasting pace? Will I have to surrender back massage? I would give an advice in return for those people who do care about their tidyness to measure how long does it really takes them inside the shower as 5 minutes is if you're in a rash. As a respectable person I'm never in a rash and have nothing to complain about.

HMMM Anyone think This guy is taking the piss ????

DarkJager · 31-01-2009 04:39PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

Having shower for the forty minutes is too long. I can take it 25 minutes each and every time. But for cutting it to 15 10 or 5? I might want to try just to see if that is anyhow possible at all. This would be soap and shampoo on off and jump out. What will happen behind my ears? Will I have to move quickly instead of usual lasting pace? Will I have to surrender back massage? I would give an advice in return for those people who do care about their tidyness to measure how long does it really takes them inside the shower as 5 minutes is if you're in a rash. As a respectable person I'm never in a rash and have nothing to complain about.

Now you're taking the piss.

Eric_85 · 31-01-2009 04:44PM

thermo66 wrote: »

HMMM Anyone think This guy is taking the piss ????

Not even close to taking a piss. I have actually seen another person today taking the shower almost as long as I am. I don't see how is it possible to do it less than fifteen minutes unless you have to catch a transport or be in time or you simply start your day with hasty movement which is your choice.

Zaph · 31-01-2009 04:46PM

thermo66 wrote: »

HMMM Anyone think This guy is taking the piss ????

DarkJager wrote: »

Now you're taking the piss.

If you have a problem with a post please report it rather than posting comments like this on the thread.

Thanks

DarkJager · 31-01-2009 04:51PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

Not even close to taking a piss. I have actually seen another person today taking the shower almost as long as I am. I don't see how is it possible to do it less than fifteen minutes unless you have to catch a transport or be in time or you're simply start your day with hasty movement which is your choice.

Eric_85 wrote: »

Having shower for the forty minutes is too long. I can take it 25 minutes each and every time. But for cutting it to 15 10 or 5? I might want to try just to see if that is anyhow possible at all. This would be soap and shampoo on off and jump out. What will happen behind my ears? Will I have to move quickly instead of usual lasting pace? Will I have to surrender back massage?

A shower is supposed to be a quick wash of the hair and body, rinse it off and get out. If you want massages go to a spa. Overall, there is no excuse at all for taking 40 minutes to shower yourself - I take back my defence of you earlier in this thread and after reading the above, I'm not surprised this girl snapped.

thermo66 · 31-01-2009 04:51PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

Not even close to taking a piss. I have actually seen another person today taking the shower almost as long as I am. I don't see how is it possible to do it less than fifteen minutes unless you have to catch a transport or be in time or you simply start your day with hasty movement which is your choice.

of course its possible. Try it!! I have long hair and even when i take my time i never spend more than around 15 mins.

Lollipops23 · 31-01-2009 04:52PM

i wouldn't expect anyone to shower in less than 5mins but 40mins is far too long. and electric showers aren't meant to go that long in one go;they'll burn out faster(my uncle is a sparky and gave out ****E to me once for taking 30mins!)

Phototoxin · 31-01-2009 04:56PM

A shower is supposed to be a quick wash of the hair and body, rinse it off and get out. If you want massages go to a spa. Overall, there is no excuse at all for taking 40 minutes to shower yourself - I take back my defence of you earlier in this thread and after reading the above, I'm not surprised this girl snapped.

I disagree.. I dont shower everyday and I have a twingy back so I like to spend a while in the shower.

Living with different people is all about compromise, how long does it take to have a shower ffs? You were already out of the shower when she was knocking on the door, why not just let her in? Instead you ignored her, only adding fuel to the fire.

its his right to have a shower however a negotiation should be worked out however it is also my guess is that she probably thinks he's fapping because he's in there so long. Seeing as she sounds partially paranoid she's probably thinking of all these things.

Abi · 31-01-2009 04:58PM

I actually dont believe Eric is taking the píss. Its possible theres a cultural difference. Too pull an example out of the air I know Italians are very maticulous about grooming.

Lollipops23 · 31-01-2009 05:02PM

Phototoxin wrote: »

I disagree.. I dont shower everyday and I have a twingy back so I like to spend a while in the shower.

but would you do that in the full knowledge that someone else really needed the showern and there were 7 other people needing it?

Mr. Frost · 31-01-2009 05:06PM

Abigayle wrote: »

I actually dont believe Eric is taking the píss. Its possible theres a cultural difference. Too pull an example out of the air I know Italians are very maticulous about grooming.

Well I'd say I'm just as meticulous but it still only takes me 20 minutes to have a shower and be ready to leave the house. Regardless, 40 mins in the shower alone, is way too much. I mean you're looking at an hour to get ready ffs.

Dudess · 31-01-2009 05:19PM

So what if he's also paying rent? My god, I didn't know paying rent meant you could take the piss over and above co-tenants. If you're a renter you have plenty of rights but you don't have ANY right to impinge on your housemates.

Renters who expect their housemates to pay extra towards bills/rent because of their selfishness - e.g. having their girlfriend/boyfriend stay every night (which will inevitably mean them also using facilities), wasting electricity by leaving lights on and heading off to work, AND spending much longer than necessary in the shower every single day (no harm in the odd long, luxurious shower - e.g. on a Saturday or Sunday)... are an absolute scourge and are let get away with it far too much.

OP, while your flatmate shouldn't have lost it, she was no doubt at the end of her tether - I mean, she DID have a job interview to go to... :rolleyes:

I was starting a new contract last year and some muppet boxed my car in the first morning of it - I was absolutely fuming, and that was hardly unreasonable of me. That said, I didn't inflict damage on the car in question (other than leaving a note) but I was damn tempted to...

AARRRGH · 31-01-2009 05:21PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

I may agree that having a shower 20 to 40 minutes is anything but short and quick. To explain myself on this as far as I haven't previously had time to read that the need actually arised I can say that yes this is the activity I mostly enjoy! I am in no way trying to put a blame on myself for that. I can understand the point of view from which being different from the most in this feature would be in fairness completely unconventional!

There are 8 other people living in the house in 7 rooms. During 2 and a half years I have had once a little chat with one other tennant at the time I was taking a bath which had been dismantled some few months ago. But really I would not want to sacrifice this little pleasure of mine to extent that I may even rent a membership in the facility that will allow me to exercise it as far as paying more for the electricity bill will not do any good to any other tennant... Though quite frankly I do not view myself any difficulty from my own side in the case that everybody would occupy the shower for this time cutting me for two hours off it. I would in this case either get up earlier or wash in the evenings. I would not bring the question which is against the deliberate comfort of other tennants up. I would not get pissed off because this rarely really brings any good results in life unless there are people eager to tolerate it.

I find your posts very bizarre. You sound like an extremely selfish and childish person.

If you want to be reasonable, before you take a shower tell your flatmates "I'm about to take a shower" so they can take a shower before you hog the entire bathroom.

I'd hate to live with a person like you.

Dudess · 31-01-2009 06:41PM

DarkJager wrote: »

It shouldn't matter what length of time he's in there for, so long as its not deliberate abuse just to piss off the housemate.

Oh so you can waste resources as much as you want and expect to only have to pay an equal amount towards bills as everyone else... as long as you're not doing so to piss them off. Come off it.

MagicMarker wrote: »

He said he usually does it in the after noon OR evening, and has done it in the morning in the past. So, sounds to me that he does it anytime.

And he was delaying the girl who had an interview - open and shut really.

mumhaabu wrote: »

The OP gets pummeled as he is male, now imagine how different the thread would be if he was a she. :eek:

Exactly the same I would have thought? I have lived with selfish females who took really long showers before bed and another one in the morning :rolleyes: and no, I didn't think "ah it's fair enough, they're girls".

I like to take long showers occasionaly especially if I had missed a day or two, however 18 to 20mins would be the longest and it was regular once when I had dandruff and I had to leave Neutrogena on the scalp for 10mins.

Yeah, those scenarios aren't everyday ones. The OP does this seven days a week.

Unregistered wrote: »

Eh, I have to say that some of the replies here, including some from people with mod status, smack of racism.

Are you actually for real? I mean, seriously? You're saying if the OP was Irish, people would be ok with him hogging the bathroom and wasting electricity? Please, get off your high horse. Everyone else is having a go at him because his behaviour is selfish and inconsiderate, nothing else. It's only you that has made an issue of him being foreign. Oh yeah, one person asked for confirmation that English wasn't his first language, due to his rather unusual style of writing.
And moderators are members like anyone else when they're posting outside of the forum(s) they moderate.

jessbeth wrote: »

She sounds a bit insane, expecially if all she had to do was turn on the heating and use the other shower.

More like she finally snapped after months of selfish behaviour by the OP.

You should be able to shower as long as you want at the place where you're living

That seems a common enough misconception on this thread - if you pay rent to live somewhere then you can do what you want. Eh... no you can't. And that's not just with regards to anti-social/criminal behaviour, it's also with regards to far more mundane things.

Phototoxin wrote: »

I disagree.. I dont shower everyday and I have a twingy back so I like to spend a while in the shower.

The OP DOES shower everyday. And yeah, do you delay people and drive up bills that others have to pay? When you say you spend a while in the shower, how long do you mean?

its his right to have a shower

Of course it is - who says it isn't?

it is also my guess is that she probably thinks he's fapping because he's in there so long. Seeing as she sounds partially paranoid she's probably thinking of all these things.

She lost her temper because he drove her to it and he doesn't even seem to realise his selfishness - or he's smugly ignoring/getting a kick out of pissing her off. Totally understandable she lost her cool (even if breaking in the door wasn't)... how does that indicate she's paranoid?

Mailman · 31-01-2009 06:49PM

ESB approx 20c per KWh inc. vat
standard electric pumped shower is 8.5 or 9.5KWh
round down to 8.
usage .6666 of an hour

20cents x 8kwh = 1.60 per hour. = €1.07 per use x31 day month = €33.17.

assuming people sleep 8 hours and work 8 hours.
8 x60 min = 480 mins of which you use 40mins so OP is in there 8.333% of the time that people would actually want to use it.

Juwwi · 31-01-2009 07:06PM

eric you should of phoned the police on the spot.
if you had of did what she did you'd be in big trouble so l dont think there should be a diffference because shes a women..
they would'nt of done anything but she would think twice about
harresing you again.

lots of people losing the plot here about the lenght of time he spends in the shower,eric was asking advice on what way the approach this matter
with the lunatic women not peoples opinion on his lenght of time in the shower.

lm sure if she gave her side of the story there has probably been complaints to eric before and the long shower the other day was probably the straw that broke the camels back but it does'nt take away from the fact that a man is feeling vunerable in his ownhome and thats not right full stop.

one things for sure u cant keep living with that lunatic and maybe you should think about renting a room with an ensuite in it.
will be more expensive but out of respect to fellow housemates if ur gona keep having 40 minute showers its the best thing to do..

Dudess · 31-01-2009 07:14PM

robbie1977 wrote: »

eric was asking advice on what way the approach this matter with the lunatic women not peoples opinion on his lenght of time in the shower.

And they advised him he was spending too long in the shower and being inconsiderate to his housemates, and thus, decreasing the amount of time he spends in the shower would be a way to sort out the problem.

u cant keep living with that lunatic

How does being pushed and pushed and pushed to the point where she lost her temper make her a "lunatic"? I agree, maybe she should deal with anger more rationally but labelling her when you've little to go on is of no benefit.

Gordon · 31-01-2009 07:17PM

Your landlord will not do anything if she is the sort to leave you all to freeze while she locks up the controls! Don't expect any help from her.

I think you're being selfish also, you are living with 7 other people (or is it 8 others?) so you have to compromise. Even living with one person demands some compromise, and you are effectively all sharing one bathroom, yikes.

The simple solution is dialogue. You must hold a house meeting, you don't talk with your housemates enough and you simply must if you are to continue to be healthy in the mind.

Call a house meeting and do a house meeting every month or so, regularly. (or do you do that? I can't understand all that's posted tbh)

Juwwi · 31-01-2009 07:25PM

How does being pushed and pushed and pushed to the point where she lost her temper make her a "lunatic"? [/quote]

its one thing being pushed into losing your temper it happens to us all from time to time but breaking down a bathroom door it my opinion makes her a lunatic..

AARRRGH · 31-01-2009 07:59PM

robbie1977 wrote: »

eric you should of phoned the police on the spot.

What crime did she commit?

Shower break-in

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