Shower break-in

Eric_85 · 30-01-2009 08:27PM #1

I had an incident with one of the tenants in the property that I currently occupy. A few months ago I was told by her that I take the shower for too long and such things should be talked about. I answered that a house is a place you live and you should not be bound by any obligations and just feel relaxed. I always wait for as long as it takes for anybody to take a shower and it is rather my own problem if I can't make it in time. So I said I don't find these types of issues to really be necessary even to talk about. She has got mad and said swearingly that than she will break the shower door the next time. At the time I did not think she actually will. During the few month there was a single time when she knocked on the door angrily while I was in the shower but I ignored it. Two days ago in the afternoon it happened again. No "sorry", no asking for an favour, just an angry knock. I was actually finishing my shower but ignored it anyway.
Then she started to scream with an angry voice that she needs to get in right now. I answered loudly and calmly that I cannot go out right now as I haven't finished yet and that there may be another shower in the house for her aid. She repeated continuously getting mad that she needs it right now. I asked if she was O.K. all in the same loud and calm manner. She than screamed that "she has a job interview and she is getting paid". I answered that I will be out shortly. She screamed: "- No, move your ass out right now!". I said that I don't think I am going to tolerate such attitude. After which with a repetitive knock she actually broke the door in. Luckily, I was in the towel already finished. She was particulary mad and just screamed "OUT". I slowly, not to provokate an assault took my belongings, mentioned the name of Jesus and walked out.
Of course I do not talk to her except greeting since after.

What else should I do about it? There is another shower in the apartment which works when the heating is on though I am not sure if it was on that partiular time. I find her behaviour completely unappropriate and potentially dangerous. Should I report it to a landlady? I don't like to bring scandals up just feel too much a man for it but of course I can sacrafice pride to a reason. The door is closed by a key as a second lock for now but I also have the impression that she could have told the landlady herself already giving whatever reason. The landlady did not talk to me about that though.

Curiously, if I would break to a female while she would be taking shower that will probably be viewed as a sexual assault? And if she assaults me this would be also the hassle I do not need - reporting a little girl giving me a slap for staying too long in the shower, 'cause that's probably what I should do if that is the case?

Alanstrainor · 30-01-2009 08:32PM

That is insane! Report that childish woman. She has no right to tell you what to do. And breaking into the bathroom while you're having a shower is, well, well out of order. Stand up for yourself, and dont let this bully carry on like this.

Karen_* · 30-01-2009 08:54PM

What time of the day do you take your shower and for how long? Is she waiting to get ready for work?

Asok · 30-01-2009 09:01PM

If you are taking longer showers than everyone else and in the afternoon are you paying any bit extra towards the cost of heating the water?

DarkJager · 30-01-2009 09:10PM

Karen_* wrote: »

What time of the day do you take your shower and for how long? Is she waiting to get ready for work?

That does not and should not make any difference at all. He is paying rent like everyone else, so he is entitled to use the facilities of the house as he wants - not when some immature drama queen decides she wants to use the bathroom.

Absolutely report her to the landlord, and give her an ultimatum of removing this jumped up freak from the house or you will leave yourself. You do not have to put up with that sort of abuse at all, and I'm sure if it was you that forced your way in the gardai would have been up very shortly after.

Hang her out to dry.

IRISH RAIL · 30-01-2009 09:11PM

find yourself another place and tell the landlady exatly why you are leaving
that girl is a nutter
and it wouldnt suprise me if she made up a story about you breaking in to get attention.

Eric_85 · 30-01-2009 09:41PM

Karen_* wrote: »

What time of the day do you take your shower and for how long? Is she waiting to get ready for work?

I usually take a good throughout shower once a day not exceeding 40 minutes and not less than twenty. She states to take 15 minutes. I do measure most of my shower times by watching on the clocks before and after. I never measured hers or anyone elses. Time ago this could have been and at least once was early in the morning crossing her schedule to the extent of twenty minutes apparently. But nowadays this usually happens later during the day or in the late evenings due to recent changes in my working hours.

Asok wrote: »

If you are taking longer showers than everyone else and in the afternoon are you paying any bit extra towards the cost of heating the water?

No I do not pay extra towards the electricity bill. I do not know for sure if I am taking shower longer than everyone else, but supposely and affirmatively yes I do.

wylo · 30-01-2009 09:43PM

DarkJager wrote: »

That does not and should not make any difference at all. He is paying rent like everyone else, so he is entitled to use the facilities of the house as he wants - not when some immature drama queen decides she wants to use the bathroom.

Ah no in fairness, fair enough technically he can take as long as he wants but if its in the morning and she doesnt have access to any other shower then its just common courtesy to do the decent thing. Its just ignorant to let other people waiting for long.

That said she sounds like a psycho, as a matter of fact Id be taking even longer showers if somone was acting like that to me.

dyl10 · 30-01-2009 09:46PM

She sounds like a nutcase and you should report but how long do you take in the shower?

Mr. Frost · 30-01-2009 09:47PM

What the hell are you doing for 40 minutes in the shower? That's ridiculous. You don't need more than 5-10 minutes, if you're a guy. Or maybe a bit more if you've really, really long hair.

MagicMarker · 30-01-2009 09:47PM

I think I have to go against the grain here and side with the girl. Yes, she handled it wrong, at least she tried to bring it up with you like an adult first, to which she was plainly shot down.

Living with different people is all about compromise, how long does it take to have a shower ffs? You were already out of the shower when she was knocking on the door, why not just let her in? Instead you ignored her, only adding fuel to the fire.

In future, before you're going to use the shower for a prolonged period of time, just mention it to your housemates that you're going to have a shower if anyone needs to use the toilet etc first.

No offense, but your post comes across as very smug, as if you're proud of the fact you pissed her off.

wylo · 30-01-2009 09:50PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

I usually take a good throughout shower once a day not exceeding 40 minutes and not less than twenty. She states to take 15 minutes. I do measure most of my shower times by watching on the clocks before and after. I never measured hers or anyone elses. Time ago this could have been and at least once was early in the morning crossing her schedule to the extent of twenty minutes apparently. But nowadays this usually happens later during the day or in the late evenings due to recent changes in my working hours.

No I do not pay extra towards the electricity bill. I do not know for sure if I am taking shower longer than everyone else, but supposely and affirmatively yes I do.

Well thats different
If someone was hogging the shower for more than 20 mins in the morning Id go mental too. Most lads dont need no more than 3 to 5 mins in the shower.
Do you do this just to p1ss her off?

Wisesmurf · 30-01-2009 09:51PM

Eric_85 wrote: »

I usually take a good throughout shower once a day not exceeding 40 minutes and not less than twenty. She states to take 15 minutes. I do measure most of my shower times by watching on the clocks before and after. I never measured hers or anyone elses. Time ago this could have been and at least once was early in the morning crossing her schedule to the extent of twenty minutes apparently. But nowadays this usually happens later during the day or in the late evenings due to recent changes in my working hours.

No I do not pay extra towards the electricity bill. I do not know for sure if I am taking shower longer than everyone else, but supposely and affirmatively yes I do.

I'd call a 20-40 min shower excessive peticularly if your scheduled overlap. surely 10-15 mins MAX is enough for a shower...

I think you're not giving the entire picture here..

wylo · 30-01-2009 09:52PM

MagicMarker wrote: »

No offense, but your post comes across as very smug, as if you're proud of the fact you pissed her off.

Agreed, If any of my housemates took that long and didnt pay for it Id be getting pissed off.

kwalshe · 30-01-2009 09:54PM

Can you just lock the door? This is totally unacceptable, It is a real breach of you privacy, lock the tramp out and enjoy listening to her going beserk outside.... Or you could just set her up and wait for her to "break in" and be sitting on the ****ter pretending to pushing out Apollo 13

MagicMarker · 30-01-2009 09:56PM

kwalshe wrote: »

Can you just lock the door? This is totally unacceptable, It is a real breach of you privacy, lock the tramp out and enjoy listening to her going beserk outside.... Or you could just set her up and wait for her to "break in" and be sitting on the ****ter pretending to pushing out Apollo 13

Yep, fight anger with retardation, good idea! :rolleyes:

Mr. Frost · 30-01-2009 09:56PM

kwalshe wrote: »

Can you just lock the door? This is totally unacceptable, It is a real breach of you privacy, lock the tramp out and enjoy listening to her going beserk outside.... Or you could just set her up and wait for her to "break in" and be sitting on the ****ter pretending to pushing out Apollo 13

Maybe unacceptable on her part but so is taking up to 40 minutes for a shower. Complete lack of consideration for the others living there.

pvt.joker · 30-01-2009 09:58PM

sorry, but wtf do you be doing for so long in the shower. If anyone I lived with was in it for that long, I'd be breaking down the door too.

LegacyUser · 30-01-2009 09:58PM

i have to be at work by a particular time each morning and if anyone was stuck in a shower for 40 mins in the morning i would either have to go to work smelly or get up ridiculously early.
you cant expect sharing with people to hog a shower for 20-40 mins. i take 5-8 max.
i would have broken down the door too rather than miss a job interview or be late for work]be a bit more considerate to the other people living with you. 40 mins?

kwalshe · 30-01-2009 10:01PM

MagicMarker wrote: »

Yep, fight anger with retardation, good idea! :rolleyes:

Mr. Frost wrote: »

Maybe unacceptable on her part but so is taking up to 40 minutes for a shower. Complete lack of consideration for the others living there.

pvt.joker wrote: »

sorry, but wtf do you be doing for so long in the shower. If anyone I lived with was in it for that long, I'd be breaking down the door too.

Relax , I'm only having a laugh... Lighten up... Do you honestly think it's ok to burst in on somebody in a bathroom like that , Maybe he does need to consider other peoples need some more , but you cannot condone what she did

DarkJager · 30-01-2009 10:02PM

pvt.joker wrote: »

sorry, but wtf do you be doing for so long in the shower. If anyone I lived with was in it for that long, I'd be breaking down the door too.

It shouldn't matter what length of time he's in there for, so long as its not deliberate abuse just to piss off the housemate.

However you look at it, forcing entry to the bathroom is completely unacceptable. I know if anyone broke the door in while I was having a shower, they wouldn't be long getting their face broken as well.

MagicMarker · 30-01-2009 10:04PM

kwalshe wrote: »

Relax , I'm only having a laugh... Lighten up... Do you honestly think it's ok to burst in on somebody in a bathroom like that , Maybe he does need to consider other peoples need some more , but you cannot condone what she did

It sounds like she was banging on the door and accidentally broke it in. I don't think there was a Johnny or an axe involved.

Mr. Frost · 30-01-2009 10:04PM

DarkJager wrote: »

It shouldn't matter what length of time he's in there for, so long as its not deliberate abuse just to piss off the housemate.

However you look at it, forcing entry to the bathroom is completely unacceptable. I know if anyone broke the door in while I was having a shower, they wouldn't be long getting their face broken as well.

:rolleyes:

pvt.joker · 30-01-2009 10:04PM

of course it should matter how long he is in for.

Looks like this thread has backfired on you OP .

30-01-2009 10:05PM

The poor girl must have been at her wits' end to react like that.

OP, you said that there's another bathroom but you don't know how the shower in there works so I can only presume you take up the main bathroom for 20 to 40 minutes each day? In shared accommodation, that's ridiculous and very selfish.

I can only imagine the additional cost associated with heating all that extra water you use. Uneconomicaly and very environmentally unfriendly.

It stands to reason that someone will have to use the bathroom for some reason (maybe getting something they have stored in there) in the space of 40 minutes and, by acting the way you did in ignoring her, you were baiting the girl for a reaction and are now crying victim when you got it.

wylo · 30-01-2009 10:06PM

DarkJager wrote: »

It shouldn't matter what length of time he's in there for, so long as its not deliberate abuse just to piss off the housemate.

It comes across like it is.

Chinafoot · 30-01-2009 10:09PM

Yes she handled it badly but seriously, I would hate to live with someone that treated shared facilities like that. If you want to shower for 40 minutes get your own bathroom. You live with other people and need to consider their needs also.

DarkJager wrote:

He is paying rent like everyone else, so he is entitled to use the facilities of the house as he wants - not when some immature drama queen decides she wants to use the bathroom.

What a load of crap. Paying rent doesn't entitle you to tie up the facilities that the other people paying rent need to use. If someone has a job interview and tells you they need to use the bathroom after they had tried to discuss the issue with you, you do the decent thing and get out of the bathroom.

OP, either learn to consider the needs and rights of your flatmates or live alone because you won't last long sharing with that attitude.

YDMHSSB · 30-01-2009 10:09PM

40 mins is crazy and selfish, even 20 mins is ridiculous. if this has been going on for months, then its no wonder the poor girl is going silly. the average time a man should spend in the shower is 5-10 mins. i live in a house with 5 people, and all of us get our showers done in 30 mins, its not that hard and its outta courtesy for your fellow housemates.

not having a go, but from your post,you sound like a right d*ck to be honest. im 100% siding with the girl on this one, youd have your head kicked in if you lived in my house or any of me mates house to be honest!!!!!!

themadchef · 30-01-2009 10:10PM

Sounds to me like she snapped.

In fairness you're both acting like kids. You cant agree with someone you're sharing a simple thing like living accomodation.

Rota system, or stick a timer on the door, 20 mins "ding ding ding" times up. Agree to it, and stick to it. Save the serious scrubbing till you have lots of time to yourself in the house.

She was out of order, but in fairness so are you.

Eric_85 · 30-01-2009 10:10PM

Alanstrainor wrote: »

That is insane! Report that childish woman. She has no right to tell you what to do. And breaking into the bathroom while you're having a shower is, well, well out of order. Stand up for yourself, and dont let this bully carry on like this.

I do think this can carry on like this and most probably will. In the case that she will be going to shower I suppose she might as well not get embarassed to get mad on a completely unreasonable grounds like she already did. I can of couse try to find out whether the report to the landlord shall somehow resolve the issue.

DarkJager wrote: »

That does not and should not make any difference at all. He is paying rent like everyone else, so he is entitled to use the facilities of the house as he wants - not when some immature drama queen decides she wants to use the bathroom.

Absolutely report her to the landlord, and give her an ultimatum of removing this jumped up freak from the house or you will leave yourself. You do not have to put up with that sort of abuse at all, and I'm sure if it was you that forced your way in the gardai would have been up very shortly after.

Hang her out to dry.

In order to avoid the reasonable question of why did I not inform the landlord about the behaviour of the tenant in case of any further consequences arise I might want to talk to her the next time I see her. I suppose a sudden call three days after shall be a little bit awkward...

IRISH RAIL wrote: »

find yourself another place and tell the landlady exatly why you are leaving
that girl is a nutter
and it wouldnt suprise me if she made up a story about you breaking in to get attention.

I can try this in the longer run. I was living in the place for two and a half years now. Doing so is the most cautious way to treat this incident.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 30-01-2009 10:11PM

I'd have serious issue living with someone taking 40min showers. Cop yourself on.

Shower break-in

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