Best lie you ever told

davyjose · 23-12-2008 12:02AM #1

It was my birthday last week, which reminded me ... When I was about 7 I told everyone in my class they were invited to my birthday party. Thing was, there was no party. I just assumed, in a Field Of Dreams "If you build it they will come" kind of way, that an impromptu part would happen "if I belieeeved" (it was the 80's). Anyway, there was all kinds of confusion/trouble, and my presents were confiscated.

Actually, that was kind of a crap lie.....

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 23-12-2008 12:04AM

davyjose wrote: »

It was my birthday last week, which reminded me ... When I was about 7 I told everyone in my class they were invited to my birthday party. Thing was, there was no party. I just assumed, in a Field Of Dreams "If you build it they will come" kind of way, that an impromptu part would happen "if I belieeeved" (it was the 80's). Anyway, there was all kinds of confusion/trouble, and my presents were confiscated.

Actually, that was kind of a crap lie.....

I told a girl I trained dolphins, I got a ride out of it... happy days

Cokehead Mother · 23-12-2008 12:04AM

"I swear I'm 17".

Caused all sorts of havoc.

23-12-2008 12:05AM

do you have a receipt for that?

yes.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 23-12-2008 12:05AM

Cokehead Mother wrote: »

"I swear I'm 17".

Caused all sorts of havoc.

Oh no you didn't... shame on you :P

Galvasean · 23-12-2008 12:05AM

"This thread is all kinds of awesome"

tony1kenobi · 23-12-2008 12:07AM

I didn't come in you.

Fizman · 23-12-2008 12:08AM

My ex thought I had only slept with 2 girls before her.
Giggidy.

tony1kenobi · 23-12-2008 12:09AM

Fizman wrote: »

My ex thought I had only slept with 2 girls before her.
Giggidy.

You didn't tell her about all the dudes you pooned?

Giggidy giggidy goo.

helimachoptor · 23-12-2008 12:09AM

Got chattin to a host in a nightclub in Dublin, s**t faced told her I was a Gardai for the crack. Got in free and plenty of free beer for the next 6 months til i got rumbled by an Ex who started working there:mad:

Easy street I was on!

Fizman · 23-12-2008 12:13AM

tony1kenobi wrote: »

You didn't tell her about all the dudes you pooned?

Giggidy giggidy goo.

I challenge you to a sword fight! Then we'll see some giggidy giggidy goo! :pac:

InkSlinger67 · 23-12-2008 12:16AM

Fizman wrote: »

I challenge you to a sword fight! Then we'll see some giggidy giggidy goo! :pac:

Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!

8====> <=====8

*Shudders*

kraggy · 23-12-2008 12:17AM

Harper Shallow Mitten wrote: »

I told a girl I trained dolphins, I got a ride out of it... happy days

Lol

Stored in memory for future use.

davyjose · 23-12-2008 12:18AM

Harper Shallow Mitten wrote: »

I told a girl I trained dolphins, I got a ride out of it... happy days

Lol, I convinced a girl I looked like Russell Crowe. I look nothing like Russell Crowe - for a start I was only 21 at the time. But I had a bit of stubble. Anyway, after a few minutes she was like, "yeah ... yeah, I suppose you look a bit like Russell Crowe."

Didn't get a ride, but the bases were loaded....

Kiera · 23-12-2008 12:19AM

I dont tell lies, they make baby jebus cry. Plus the fact i'm crap and always laugh while trying to lie so i dont bother anymore.

Fizman · 23-12-2008 12:20AM

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!

Fizman | TonyMiniCockaroni

8====================> <==8

*Shudders*

FYP :pac:

neil_hosey · 23-12-2008 12:27AM

i swear, im sterilised

Sharpshooter · 23-12-2008 12:27AM

I'm with Kiera on this one , I don't tell lies either.

A Liar needs a good memory / so I don't lie.;)

tony1kenobi · 23-12-2008 12:33AM

Fizman wrote: »

I challenge you to a sword fight! Then we'll see some giggidy giggidy goo! :pac:

Ok. Hamstead Heath 6am. George Michael can ref and I won't wear protection because I am all that is man.

Also, when did you see my penis? My mam said it's grand for my age.

davyjose · 23-12-2008 12:35AM

From random topic, to penis swordfighting conversations in 20 posts or less. Welcome to AH!

Tar.Aldarion · 23-12-2008 12:37AM

No, I don't find her attractive.

:pac:

tony1kenobi · 23-12-2008 12:41AM

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

No, I don't find her attractive.

:pac:

How did YOU know my penis is a she?

How come my cock is suddenly public domain?

Wurly · 23-12-2008 12:47AM

davyjose wrote: »

It was my birthday last week, which reminded me ... When I was about 7 I told everyone in my class they were invited to my birthday party. Thing was, there was no party. I just assumed, in a Field Of Dreams "If you build it they will come" kind of way, that an impromptu part would happen "if I belieeeved" (it was the 80's). Anyway, there was all kinds of confusion/trouble, and my presents were confiscated.

Actually, that was kind of a crap lie.....

The 'secret' doesn't in fact work then?:eek::eek:

It's like being told that Santa doesn't exist all over again. /wails

davyjose · 23-12-2008 12:52AM

Tri wrote: »

The 'secret' doesn't in fact work then?:eek::eek:

It's like being told that Santa doesn't exist all over again. /wails

You never know...

Maybe for my next birthday a bunch of 7 year olds will show up bearing Hot Wheels an He-man action figures, and we'll have cake.

23-12-2008 12:56AM

tony1kenobi wrote: »

My mam said it's grand for my age.

best lie your ma ever told....

tony 2 tone · 23-12-2008 12:59AM

Convinced the Feds that I was a crippled small time criminal, when in fact I am Keyser Soze.

Firetrap · 23-12-2008 01:13AM

I convinced a college lecturer that they'd lost an essay I'd written.

Slidey · 23-12-2008 01:20AM

I think a great lie of mine was to a car park manager in Perth.

Parked my car in a top floor of a multi story for 2 weeks.

Went back in and claimed I lost my ticket and that I'd only parked there the night before.

Got a 20 dollar fine for losing the ticket and a days parking... result!

The got greedy when yer man says, If ya find the ticket bring it back and i'll give ya your 20 bucks back. Got rumbled when I went back but legged it!

davyjose · 23-12-2008 01:25AM

slideways wrote: »

I think a great lie of mine was to a car park manager in Perth.

Parked my car in a top floor of a multi story for 2 weeks.

Went back in and claimed I lost my ticket and that I'd only parked there the night before.

Got a 20 dollar fine for losing the ticket and a days parking... result!

The got greedy when yer man says, If ya find the ticket bring it back and i'll give ya your 20 bucks back. Got rumbled when I went back but legged it!

That's the best thing about being Irish when you go abroad. We're just so fùcking cunning. For instance, when you hit an all-you-can-eat buffet. It's not dining, it's a case of "Prepare to meet your match, Mr. Restaurateur. Your profit margins are about to plummet". And because we're Irish, they never suspect a thing

Shacklebolt · 23-12-2008 01:33AM

During my easter holidays in 4th year I worked outdoors on a building site in scorching weather and developed a tan. People kept asking had I been on holidays and eventually fed up with answering no, I said I had been in Nigeria building houses for the poor. Many of them still believe it.

jester77 · 23-12-2008 01:38AM

Tellin yore ma she was a fine thing

Best lie you ever told

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