Trust me Im an expert...

Trev M · 12-11-2008 03:07PM #1

What do you consider yourself an expert on ? I realise this is after hours forum so it should be fun , considering there appears to be experts on all sorts of weird **** on here at the moment

Personally I know **** all about anything and bit about a load of useless **** at 32 its unlikely i'll develop enough interest to be an expert on anything...me ma says Im a catch though.

qz · 12-11-2008 03:08PM

Funny, she said that about me too.

Gummy Panda · 12-11-2008 03:09PM

petting kittens.

Its all about the scratch behind the ears

Trev M · 12-11-2008 03:12PM

errr ... yeah.

Biggins · 12-11-2008 03:19PM

Yes, in getting my other half's underwear off.
If anyone else is an expert in that, ya better not tell me cos I'll kill ya!

Quazzie · 12-11-2008 03:20PM

Biggins wrote: »

Yes, in getting my other half's underwear off.
If anyone else is an expert in that, ya better not tell me cos I'll kill y'all!

FYP:pac:

Puddleduck · 12-11-2008 03:21PM

Im an expert at sex..I like to practise

:pac:

That and talking crap

Rob_l · 12-11-2008 03:26PM

Puddleduck wrote: »

Im an expert at sex..I like to practise :pac:

That and talking crap

I like to talk crap while having sex which is probably why Im not very good at the latter:(

giggsy664 · 12-11-2008 03:27PM

Biggins wrote: »

Yes, in getting my other half's underwear off.
If anyone else is an expert in that, ya better not tell me cos I'll kill ya!

What? And you can keep her trousers on? Magic bastàrd!!

Quazzie · 12-11-2008 03:28PM

I was gonna say I was an expert at rape but I see AH already has a rape expert, and then I was gonna specialize in anal rape, but men have anuses(Anii???) too so I think I'll have to just settle with surprise sex which is kinda misleading because after being tied up for a few hours its not surprising anyone when I rape them.

MagicMarker · 12-11-2008 03:29PM

I'm an expert at life.

Puddleduck · 12-11-2008 03:30PM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

I was gonna say I was an expert at rape but I see AH already has a rape expert, and then I was gonna specialize in anal rape, but men have anuses(Anii???) too so I think I'll have to just settle with surprise sex which is kinda misleading because after being tied up for a few hours its not surprising anyone when I rape them.

What if you pretend to be somebody else..she/he/it would be suprised then...

Quazzie · 12-11-2008 03:31PM

I've tried screaming "who's the Daddy?" once or twice if that counts. I might just have to work on my technique

Fratton Fred · 12-11-2008 03:33PM

Biggins wrote: »

Yes, in getting my other half's underwear off.
If anyone else is an expert in that, ya better not tell me cos I'll kill ya!

I wouldn't call myself an expert, but it wasn't exactly difficult

Puddleduck · 12-11-2008 03:34PM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

I've tried screaming "who's the Daddy?" once or twice if that counts. I might just have to work on my technique

No no no..turn out the lights in the room and come in and say 'Baaaaaa' 'Neigh' 'Moo' or other farm yard noises.

Or come in and say 'Its the police, youre safe now' then it really is a suprise!!

Snickit · 12-11-2008 03:41PM

Rob_l wrote: »

I like to talk crap while having sex which is probably why Im not very good at the latter:(

That made me lol in the office

Rob_l · 12-11-2008 03:49PM

Snickit wrote: »

That made me lol in the office

Excellent my work here is done I have made one person look crazy at work today:D

Zangetsu · 12-11-2008 04:15PM

I have an unnatural knowledge of everything to do with the beatles, from julians first words to mccartneys dogs name.

Danbo! · 12-11-2008 04:18PM

Whippin' Cupcakes

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 12-11-2008 04:35PM

Sleeping. Well I'm not sure if I'm an expert, but I'm really good at it. Also food- specifically what's veggie and what's not <<<I'm only an epxert on that relative to most of my friends though.

Quazzie · 12-11-2008 04:39PM

Marilyn Crashing Sludge wrote: »

Also food- specifically what's veggie and what's not

I'm no expert but I soon realised that Mince pies have no meat in them. The ones that do have meat are disgusting when eaten with custard.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 12-11-2008 04:43PM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

I'm no expert but I soon realised that Mince pies have no meat in them. The ones that do have meat are disgusting when eaten with custard.

Also (check out my expertise yo): ham burgers, are not in fact made from ham. Only learned that recently.

metamorphic · 12-11-2008 04:58PM

"Dining at the finest restaurant in town"

and yes, it's a euphemism.

BossArky · 12-11-2008 05:01PM

I'm an expert in steering clear of After Hours.

Weidii · 12-11-2008 05:14PM

Primate taxonomy :pac:

Nothingcompares · 12-11-2008 05:19PM

Depends on who I'm talking to. Ther are plently of subjects in which it wouldn't take long for me to find someone who's knowledge completely dwarfs mine. For example, I know a lot about Bumblebee taxonomy but I certainly wouldn't consider myself an expert in entomology circles.