"I'm a dope" moments.

Archeron · 2008-10-09 19:18:35

Earlier this evening, I parked outside a petrol station and went into the shop, beeping my car locked as I went in. When I came back out, I beeped the car back open again, and despite the BEEP being loud and clear, the doors weren't opening. I tried another few times and with no joy. So then I thought I would try to use…

09-10-2008 08:18PM

#1
Archeron

Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 6,820 ✭✭✭

Join Date: October 2005

Posts: 6320
Earlier this evening, I parked outside a petrol station and went into the shop, beeping my car locked as I went in.
When I came back out, I beeped the car back open again, and despite the BEEP being loud and clear, the doors weren't opening. I tried another few times and with no joy.
So then I thought I would try to use the key to open the door and see what happened. Realizing after a moment that the key didn't seem to fit in the door (I'd never used the key to open it before), I looked up to see a young girl standing beside me looking rather inquisitively towards me.
I said "having a bit a of a problem with my remote locker" to break the stony silence she was directing at me, at which point she mentioned that this wasnt my car, it was hers. She had parked (illegally i might add) right outside the door. I was parked in the nearest proper spot, so thats my feeble excuse.
Worst part was the 4 pack of Budweiser I had rested on her roof while trying to open the door
If looks could kill, I wouldnt be dead, but I'd be in intensive care.

Damn you dark rainy evenings and black saloon cars that all look the same, damn you all to helll!!!

Any "I'm a dope" moments to share??

Tagged:

blonde moments

duh

monday mornings

15

Comments

#2 09-10-2008 08:25PM

GAAman

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,370 ✭✭✭

Join Date: May 2006

Posts: 3154

Mine was i was fixin the sink and when i took off the u bend i had to drain out the water so of course i poured the water into the sink.......while still holdin the u bend.

Laughed for a good five mins at myself for that one

0
#3 09-10-2008 08:29PM

suspectdevice

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 328 ✭✭

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 316

saying i reckon i'll be home at 11, thinking "feck it, i'll have one more", tipping meself over the edge when it comes to self control and walking home at 5 in the morning saying "i'm a feckin' dope" and then doing it again and again and again and again

0
#4 09-10-2008 08:34PM

Turd Ferguson

Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2005

Posts: 4118

............................................________
....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,
.............................,.-”...................................“-.,
.........................,/...............................................”:,
.....................,?......................................................\,
.................../...........................................................,}
................./......................................................,:`^`..}
.............../...................................................,:”........./
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../
.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/
..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}
...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../
...,,,___.\`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”
............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\
.............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__
,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,
.....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\
...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\
................................`:,,...........................`\..............__
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\
...................................,<`.._|_,-&``................`\

0
#5 09-10-2008 08:38PM

LEIN

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,939 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2008

Posts: 9455

Getting out of bed at 5am on a Saturday and driving into work when i never work Saturdays!

Total brain failure morning!

Didn't notice that the traffic was 10 times lighter than it would on a week day!

Work in Dub city Center btw so drove in from north Wicklow!

0
#6 09-10-2008 08:43PM

Clare Bear

Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2007

Posts: 11518

Damo9090 wrote: »

Getting out of bed at 5am on a Saturday and driving into work when i never work Saturdays!

Total brain failure morning!

Didn't notice that the traffic was 10 times lighter than it would on a week day!

Work in Dub city Center btw so drove in from north Wicklow!

FAIL!

0
Advertisement
#7 09-10-2008 08:43PM

shenanigans1982

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,467 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2008

Posts: 1452

Not exactly the same thing but loads of times I have been running for the bus and just as I got there the bus pulls off. I know the people who have seen me are laughing and thinking " f*cking idiot".....figure the only solution is to keep running.Another time was ina chemist with my OH and various Durex products caught my eye. I picked one up and turned around and said we should try this....to some stranger with two kids in tow much to the amusement of my OH a couple of steps behind them....Couldn't get out of the shop quick enough.

0
#8 09-10-2008 08:43PM

abitlonely

Closed Accounts Posts: 165 ✭✭

Join Date: July 2008

Posts: 161

I prefer the term 'blonde moments'.

Mine are mostly like those of suspectdevice.

0
#9 09-10-2008 08:47PM

PurpleBerry

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,006 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2008

Posts: 936

abitlonely wrote: »

I prefer the term 'blonde moments'.

What has dyeing your hair yellow have to do with being...

Nevermind, I get it now.

0
#10 09-10-2008 08:49PM

Captain Slow IRL

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,651 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2006

Posts: 3148

Making myself breakfast one morning, put cornflakes into the toaster - men really can't multitask.

0
#11 09-10-2008 08:59PM

[Deleted User]
Posts: 8,092 ✭✭✭

Join Date: -

Posts: 8016

Archeron wrote: »

Earlier this evening, I parked outside a petrol station and went into the shop, beeping my car locked as I went in.
When I came back out, I beeped the car back open again, and despite the BEEP being loud and clear, the doors weren't opening. I tried another few times and with no joy.
So then I thought I would try to use the key to open the door and see what happened. Realizing after a moment that the key didn't seem to fit in the door (I'd never used the key to open it before), I looked up to see a young girl standing beside me looking rather inquisitively towards me.
I said "having a bit a of a problem with my remote locker" to break the stony silence she was directing at me, at which point she mentioned that this wasnt my car, it was hers. She had parked (illegally i might add) right outside the door. I was parked in the nearest proper spot, so thats my feeble excuse.
Worst part was the 4 pack of Budweiser I had rested on her roof while trying to open the door
If looks could kill, I wouldnt be dead, but I'd be in intensive care.

Damn you dark rainy evenings and black saloon cars that all look the same, damn you all to helll!!!

Any "I'm a dope" moments to share??

lol good story

Mine was in the gym when I first started bench pressing about 2 years back......

Right, I had only done it with my trainer before so I wasn't sure what weight I was lifting etc. So I was going by the sheet and seen 45kg. So like a trooper I piled on 45kgs to a bar without considering the fukn weight of the bar itself (20 extra kgs). So I got lying down and threw it up there. The second I did it I fukn knew and I was like.....''O bollix....., not good!'' .The fukn thing fell behind my head and my legs and the bench went with it making a fukn LOUD noise. About 20-30 people came over to me with ''are you oks etc'' & I just remember one cunt saying ''You shouldnt lift more then you can man....''. I felt like kicking him in the bollix & saying '' Well I fukn know that don't I!!!??? ''

Scarlet for me, I didn't go back for like two weeks

0
Advertisement
#12 09-10-2008 10:47PM

steo87

Closed Accounts Posts: 510 ✭✭✭

Join Date: March 2007

Posts: 409

I was on the bus a few weeks ago, sitting behind a granny, and I was drinking a bottle of lucozade. Just as I took a mouthfull the bus went over a ramp (fast) which caused me to cough the mouthfull of lucozade all over the back of the granny's head.....needless to say i got the hell up and got off the bus!

0
#13 09-10-2008 10:49PM

eyresquare

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 103 ✭✭

Join Date: March 2008

Posts: 90

Searching my room for a good 5 minutes for my remote last night just to turn up the tv

0
#14 09-10-2008 10:51PM

LEIN

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,939 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2008

Posts: 9455

eyresquare wrote: »

Searching my room for a good 5 minutes for my remote last night just to turn up the tv

Even worse looking for the fooking thing when its in you hand!

0
#15 09-10-2008 11:05PM

Kablam

Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭

Join Date: July 2008

Posts: 78

I'd say i'm not the only one guilty of the ol' throw the sweet in the bin and try and eat the wrapper trick. But almost every day....can't be right:eek:

0
#16 09-10-2008 11:09PM

gary the great

Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2004

Posts: 2181

Was on holidays with a few of the lads. We were eating ****e all week so me and one of my mates thought we'd go for the healthy option and buy a cooked chicken and some salad and make a chicken salad.

So we buy the neccesary ingredients and set about eating our healthy meal. My mate says to me, "this lettuce tastes real weird", "it does" says me and we continue eating it. A few minutes later my mate says "maybe lettuce tastes different in Russia ", "Must do" says I.

An hour later one of the other lads shouts in from the kitchen "who bought a feckin head of cabbage?"

0
#17 09-10-2008 11:12PM

Loopy

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,220 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: October 2007

Posts: 12138

My brother pulls up outside a shop in his red golf and I get out and run in, come back out and jump into the car (its pissing raining) and I say come on to f*ck, we are gonna be late and elbow him in the arm whilst searching for my mars bar in the bag.

Wrong car - I was elbowing a terrified ol' geezer in a red golf parked right in front of my brother (who was incidentially pissing himself laughing, watching me).

0
#18 09-10-2008 11:13PM

truecrippler

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,243 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2008

Posts: 1201

Haha good one gary_the_great.

0
#19 09-10-2008 11:25PM

[Deleted User]
Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: -

Posts: 50630

oh thank you for the laughs!

my friend pulls up at garage and goes to put petrol in the car but pump isn't working so she goes into shop and there's a problem with tills so they've to turn the pump on for her - goes back out doesn't work still so runs back and forth a couple of times before saying fook this i'll go somewhere else. Jumps in car, turns radio up full blast playing "Man I feel like a woman" puts foot down and notices alot of people running towards her screaming and waving hands - she cant hear a thing cos of the music. She managed to drive nearly out of the petrol station bfore realising the pump still in her car, the whole pump pulled out of the ground! Petrol station had to be shut down for 2 weeks! DOH!

0
#20 09-10-2008 11:28PM

fitz0

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,753 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2008

Posts: 1710

Talking to someone on my phone while simultaneously looking to see where I left my phone.

0
#21 09-10-2008 11:33PM

Lobster

Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭

Join Date: February 2008

Posts: 287

Answering my phone when the phone alarm goes off in the morning. Happens me alot!

0
Advertisement
#22 09-10-2008 11:34PM

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2006

Posts: 33440

Similar to the OP...

Came home from the pub some time ago, 3am or so, pissed, key wouldn't work, rang bell to wake flatmate. Nothing. Banged door to wake up flatmate, no answer. Yelled. nothing. Then, what gave the game away: a baby started crying on the other side of the door.

Fvck, I'm on the wrong bleedin' floor, thinks I.

I turn to run before someone sees me, get two steps up the stairs and then the door opens and one very pissed-off woman holding by now SCREAMING child, yells something aggressively at me in German. I very nearly heil-Hitlered here in responce, but not quiet that pissed. I apologised in French (no idea) and legged it up the stairs.

Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.

0
#23 09-10-2008 11:36PM

pseudonym1

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,092 ✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2008

Posts: 1061

Im always doing such things-
Standing patiently at glass double doors assuming they were automatic -shop assistant had to pull doors come out ask me was I ok!

0
#24 09-10-2008 11:38PM

RugbyFanatic

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,132 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2008

Posts: 1070

In West Philadelphia, born n raised in da playground is where i spent most of my days, when a couple of guys who were up to no good started makin trouble in my neighbourhood i got in one lil fight n my mum got scared n said your movin with your antie and uncle in bell air.

0
#25 10-10-2008 09:44AM

[Deleted User]
Posts: 8,092 ✭✭✭

Join Date: -

Posts: 8016

looptheloop wrote: »

My brother pulls up outside a shop in his red golf and I get out and run in, come back out and jump into the car (its pissing raining) and I say come on to f*ck, we are gonna be late and elbow him in the arm whilst searching for my mars bar in the bag.

Wrong car - I was elbowing a terrified ol' geezer in a red golf parked right in front of my brother (who was incidentially pissing himself laughing, watching me).

lol good ****

0
#26 10-10-2008 09:51AM

4zn76tysfajdxp

Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2006

Posts: 27325

My Dad had borrowed my sister in law's car, a red Golf, to pick me up from school. I see a red Golf, throw in my bag in the boot and sit in the front seat to discover that it wasn't...well, you know the rest.

0
#27 10-10-2008 09:53AM

jim o doom

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,474 ✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2008

Posts: 1452

Had a twisted ankle previously (it probably occurred when I was locked at some stage - was about 18 at the time so many moons ago) - several days later, with still badly sprained ankle, I was driving home from a mates house on my 125 motorbike.

Arrived at my destination (my parents gaff) & stopped the vehicle. Normally when I stop the bike I lean it on to my left foot (the one that was twisted) - which I foolishly decided to do in this instance, my poor auld ankle was unable to take the weight of my well fleshed frame combined with the weight of my heave, but small-engined motorcycle. Cue me and bike falling in a heap to the left, exacerbating the ankle injury further. Getting that bike off me was DAMN hard

0
#28 10-10-2008 09:59AM

jim o doom

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,474 ✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2008

Posts: 1452

I unfortunately have millions of these. Sometimes my brain switches off at the worst of times; this one took place age 13 - was using a large bowie knife to tune in a very old telly that had weird twisty things for tuning - so that I could play an old NES system I had dug out of the attic - threw knife on bed when operation was successful & then (wait for it) unthinkingly launched myself on to the bed after it, forgetting what I had done moments before. Cue one large bowie knife in leg, quick visit to hospital, stictches & my ma believing my cousin stabbed me, despite me telling her what had actually happened. heh heh

0
#29 10-10-2008 10:26AM

Quackles

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,484 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2005

Posts: 1401

I congratulated the best man at a wedding I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I *should* have known the groom, but the family all looked the same to me

0
#30 10-10-2008 10:34AM

paperclip2

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2008

Posts: 2239

This isn't me (apologies) but my dad. Passing through the kitchen one night he ate what he though was my sisters discarded pizza topping only to start spitting and spluttering when he realised he'd eaten a mouthful of pencil parings.

Not for nothing do we call him Trigger

0
Advertisement
#31 10-10-2008 10:41AM

Ross_Mahon

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,283 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2007

Posts: 2216

Going to sleep at day when i had a hard morning, half awake at 5...looking out the window at the sun going down and panicking thinking that i slept into the next day! :eek:

0