My ex is hounding me..

AckwelFoley · 28-08-2008 11:04AM #1

To cut a long story somewhat short...

I was going out with a woman for years, great time, nice woman but we were heading in different directions in life i suppose, we wanted different things. She wants the busy professional style life in Dublin, no aspirations to marry or have a family, her job is number 1 priority to her as a goal, mine would be a family and the pursuit of happiness.

July 2007 we broke up finally, it was tough personally because i suffer from manic depression and i was in the middle of a rather sever bout of it at the time. I started another relationship, but it didnt last because i was so fcuked up over the ex, the deression got worse i was at the point of commiting suicide but instead i ended up in the nut house and out of work for 4 months.

In january i went back to work, abstained from women for a few months, got a new job after being in the one job for 10 years and was moving on. We were still in contact and would have a chat or a coffee now and again. I think we always thought we would end up together, she was with no one snce we broke up bar kissing some knob end from roscommon up in dublin one night, i was with erm.. well.. lets just say a few.. the pipes gotta be cleaned out after all..

3 months or less ago, i met a woman, to say she is perfect is not doing her enough justice, shes perfect, she loves children wants a family and is really really good to me.. and from the get go, i know this ones a keeper. We've being living together for over 2 months now and i have to say things were fantastic.

In the meantime my ex met me and my new girlfriend out, my ex made a bee line over to me just to let me know shes seen me with another woman, she wasnice and polite to me bet ignored my new girlfriend.

She told me to never contact her again and went into a tirade about the fact that because my new girlfriend is a single mother, that she only wants me because im a decent guy (yea, actualy i am!) and im fairly well off etc etc..

It got back through a friend of a friend to my new g/f that my ex was saying all these nasty things about my new g/f. which has naturally upset her.

Now my ex, whom i still love, and i dont hide that, but i love her more as a mate and have no more interest than that - is ringing me and bombarding me with texts telling me she is madly in love with me and wants to marry me and have kids and live in athlone.. something i know she does not want, even though she says it.

At this point its driving me mad, i dont want to go back into a fit of depression which is beginning to start despite the medication, and i cant end up like i was at the end of last year because i wont come out of it, it just hurt too much.. ghey i know.. but..

My new gf is being excellent to me about it and very supportive, but is worried sick about me, and is worried i will go back to my ex.. which i assure wont happen.

Ive started to ignore my ex's texts and not answer the phone, but i am worried about her too and am not sure what to do at this stage.

*wonders if the answer is within AH*

Thanks for listening all the same, i needed to get that off my chest

dr.bollocko · 28-08-2008 11:07AM

No woman is worth living in Athlone for.
Not even that three boobied chick from total recall.

g'em · 28-08-2008 11:08AM

Just tell the ex to come here, do a search for "snyper" AND "rape" and it should turn her off you for the foreseeable future. In the meantime do not, under any circumstances, let the current MS. Wonderful come anywhere near boards. Ever. Ever ever.

javaboy · 28-08-2008 11:08AM

The hunter has become the hunted.

The upper hand is on the other foot.

The tables have turned.

Don't like your own medicine.

May the road rise to meet you.

Et cetera

Fair play to you for posting a PI in AH though. I might even write a serious reply later.

28-08-2008 11:10AM

Hounding? Is your name Baskerville?

Daithi McGee · 28-08-2008 11:11AM

PI >>>>> Over there somewhere.

GrumPy · 28-08-2008 11:12AM

You should prolly keep re-assuring your current gf not to worry and break all contact with the stalker lady.
I know you still care about her but when she realises your not having any of it she will find closure and eventually f-off.
The closure may be achieved by going bonkers and making a show of herself abusing you if she sees you/maybe through text, etc... But just keep on truckin' and everything should iron itself out dude.

Kintarō Hattori · 28-08-2008 11:14AM

Snyper is the marrying type?????? :eek:

javaboy · 28-08-2008 11:17AM

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

Snyper is the marrying type?????? :eek:

Note the purple dots:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Age_of_Consent.png

Lockstep · 28-08-2008 11:19AM

There's no way Snyper would ever post the original message.
Here's what I think he was trying to say:

snyper wrote: »

3 months or less ago, i met a girl, to say she is perfect is not doing her enough justice, shes perfect, she loves other children , has no family and is really really good to me (she even swallows)and from the get go, i know this ones a keeper. She's been living in the basement for over 2 months now and i have to say things were fantastic.

adsgirl · 28-08-2008 11:19AM

Drop this woman pronto!!!!
She is no mate, given your history of depression she should be god damn wishing you well:mad: not making your life difficult..
Sounds like she has major relationship closure issues herself, wants her perfect life but can't let a friend have his, next time she texts or calls tell her to feck off and close the book on your life with her forever.

Looby_Loo · 28-08-2008 11:20AM

Seriously you would probably be better off posting this in PI.
Firstly, if you feel your mood slipping you should speak to your doctor and try catch it before it gets too bad.
You can't be responsible for someone elses life or happiness, just your own. You need to ask yourself with all you know can the original girlfriend make you happy?
Can your new life with new girfriend?

If the answer is yes to the second question then you should do everything within your power to protect that relationship which may include cutting all contact with the first.

Wagon · 28-08-2008 11:21AM

Tell your ex to **** off. She wants the professional life and put her job as number one, let her. Also tell her that if you two get back togother, she'll only leave in two months because she's just jealous right now.

If that doesn't work, tell her that you've recently enjoyed sticking your member in your partners nose and wouls expect the same from her. That should sort it.

Dyr · 28-08-2008 11:21AM

I read all that and there was no punchline? fuxache

thelordofcheese · 28-08-2008 11:22AM

snyper wrote: »

Now my ex, whom i still love, and i dont hide that, but i love her more as a mate and have no more interest than that - is ringing me and bombarding me with texts telling me she is madly in love with me and wants to marry me and have kids and live in athlone.. something i know she does not want, even though she says it.

If ever you needed a reason to remind yourself that this is a terrible plan, there it is. In bold.

Seriously, she just sounds like she liked believed that if she wanted to have you at any point she could have you. Now that you have a missus she doesn't have that anymore, and she's trying to get it back.

Your options are twofold.
1] continue ignoring her
2] ask her how she feels about a threesome.

i'd go for 2, personally.

Kinetic^ · 28-08-2008 11:23AM

FU snyper, you just ruined the internet for me by posting something intimate!

28-08-2008 11:25AM

Bit worried about what kind of answer your looking for in AH.

[pimod] Stop worrying about your ex. Cut all contact....change phones if you have to. Leave her to find her feet. Its actually the kindest thing to give her the space to get over you.

Regardless of what happens to her, your top priority is your health. Another trip to the the river and everyone you love is hurt deeply.
Not just the ex.

You know your on to a really good thing, don't mess it up.

AckwelFoley · 28-08-2008 11:26AM

Looby_Loo wrote: »

Seriously you would probably be better off posting this in PI.

Well true, but i am accepting all answers from the serious to the daft.

I could do with some serious advice and a few giggles too

javaboy · 28-08-2008 11:27AM

Kinetic^ wrote: »

FU snyper, you just ruined the internet for me by posting something intimate!

Now now I'm sure Snyper has posted loads of intimate things on the internet before..... he just has more cop on than to use a bog standard easily reversed photoshop swirl effect.

AnonoBoy · 28-08-2008 11:27AM

Has someone hacked Snyper's account???

Seriously though - I hate that **** where chicks start declaring their love for you only when they see you've met someone good and decent that's much better for you than they ever were.

AckwelFoley · 28-08-2008 11:28AM

Moonbaby wrote: »

Bit worried about what kind of answer your looking for in AH.

[pimod] Stop worrying about your ex. Cut all contact....change phones if you have to. Leave her to find her feet. Its actually the kindest thing to give her the space to get over you.

Regardless of what happens to her, your top priority is your health. Another trip to the the river and everyone you love is hurt deeply.
Not just the ex.

You know your on to a really good thing, don't mess it up.

It was a lake

But yes, you are correct - contact cutting is needed, but difficult

dr.bollocko · 28-08-2008 11:28AM

snyper wrote: »

Well true, but i am accepting all answers from the serious to the daft.

I could do with some serious advice and a few giggles too

This is very unsnypery behaviour. Did your ex steal your boards password?
Or just guessed that it was babyrape?

Snyper would run the double lollypop play on those bitches.

AckwelFoley · 28-08-2008 11:31AM

thelordofcheese wrote: »

ask her how she feels about a threesome.

i'd go for 2, personally.

ehh doooh.. ive already ran that by the two of them on a few different occasions.

Its a non runner.

g'em · 28-08-2008 11:32AM

snyper wrote: »

ehh doooh.. ive already ran that by the two of them on a few different occasions.

Its a non runner.

well you've just cleared up the hacked account theory - it's definitely you posting...

Kimbot · 28-08-2008 11:33AM

snyper wrote: »

To cut a long story somewhat short...
3 months or less ago, i met a woman, to say she is perfect is not doing her enough justice.

Well your new woman seems to be keeping you happy so don't go back to the past as look where it got you before.

snyper wrote: »

At this point its driving me mad, i dont want to go back into a fit of depression which is beginning to start despite the medication, and i cant end up like i was at the end of last year because i wont come out of it, it just hurt too much.. ghey i know.. but..

If you don't want to go back into a fit of depression then cut all ties with the ex and live for what you have now!

snyper wrote: »

My new gf is being excellent to me about it and very supportive, but is worried sick about me, and is worried i will go back to my ex.. which i assure wont happen.

You new woman is being supportive etc, if your ex was in any way supportive she would not be trying to mess with your head, this to me sounds like she has tried out the single life and hasn't gotten very far so now she wants something she can rely on which is you.

Also she might just miss r@ping you or you r@ping her.

thelordofcheese · 28-08-2008 11:33AM

snyper wrote: »

ehh doooh.. ive already ran that by the two of them on a few different occasions.

Its a non runner.

They say that now, wait until you get them nicely liquored up.

Irishcrx · 28-08-2008 11:35AM

Maybe this should be moved to PI.

Dord · 28-08-2008 11:35AM

Ignore her and/or change your number.

Wibbs · 28-08-2008 11:36AM

People want what they can't have. They really really want what they thought they had, but now don't. That goes for men and women, but I've noted the trait in women more.

I would say that every significant ex of mine that dumped me, tried it on down the line when I was with someone else. Actually no, one didn't, but she was defo the exception.

Your ex is getting twitchy now as you look really serious about this new woman. Marriage etc. To her you look like a ready made family. She doesn't have marraige on the horizon for herself, so cue her starting all this nonsense. Envy, fear, panic and regret are driving this. Love I would suspect has fúck all to do with it.

Cut all contact if I were you as she will try to sabotage this. Either by directly freaking your new mot, or by making you second guess your decision. I guarantee, that if you took her bak it would last 6 months tops. Tops. Less if she hooked up with someone "better".

javaboy · 28-08-2008 11:37AM

g'em wrote: »

snyper wrote: »

thelordofcheese wrote: »

ask her how she feels about a threesome.

i'd go for 2, personally.

ehh doooh.. ive already ran that by the two of them on a few different occasions.

Its a non runner.

well you've just cleared up the hacked account theory - it's definitely you posting...

I beg to differ g'em. Consent has never been a big stumbling block for Snyper in the past. Looks like a hacked a/c to me.

28-08-2008 11:38AM

snyper wrote: »

It was a lake

But yes, you are correct - contact cutting is needed, but difficult

I'd be surprised if you can't come up with a way to piss her off enough to not want to so much as think about you for the next 6 months.

That is how I got rid of my ex texts.

My ex is hounding me..

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