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What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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Comments

  • #362
    constitutionus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,988 ✭✭✭constitutionus


    "oh come on, your sister put out on the first night. so'd your ma so whats the problem? "


  • #363
    MooseJam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,111 ✭✭✭MooseJam


    ssmith6287 wrote: »
    Grab yer coat Ive got a knife!!

    You: So are we ridin tonight
    her: **** off
    You: (look in her eyes and shake yer head) Itll have to be rape so!!

    rape is never funny, unless you're being raped by a clown !


  • #364
    LadyE
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    There's 3 words I want to tell you...."You're Too Fat."


  • #365
    constitutionus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,988 ✭✭✭constitutionus


    LadyE wrote: »
    There's 3 words I want to tell you...."You're Too Fat."


    not as bad as "im your father"


  • #366
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi Im Barry Scott"


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  • #367
    JangoFett
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    My last date was with your sister you know, but she never called me back afterwards, and I think she changed her number, I don't suppose you have her new number?


  • #368
    ssmith6287
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,340 ✭✭✭ssmith6287


    MooseJam wrote: »
    rape is never funny, unless you're being raped by a clown !

    kNOCK HER OUT, ITS NOT RAPE IF SHE DOESNT SAY NO :eek::D


  • #369
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    ssmith6287 wrote: »
    kNOCK HER OUT, ITS NOT RAPE IF SHE DOESNT SAY NO :eek::D

    Post reported. To the guards.

    :)


  • #370
    One-Day-Juande
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 100 ✭✭One-Day-Juande


    "I think I just shat myself, can you get me some toilet paper"

    In a slurred voice, drink up will ya for **** sake, this is my sixth pint and you're still on your first glass of wine.


  • #371
    Simi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,051 ✭✭✭Simi


    "Remember Madeline McCann....? Yeah, that was me."


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  • #372
    1huge1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,185 ✭✭✭1huge1


    Simi wrote: »
    "Remember Madeline McCann.... Yeah, that was me."
    Haha now that was a laugh out loud moment


  • #373
    Bijoux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭Bijoux


    "Fúck dinner, lets to back to my place....I'm ovulating!!!"


  • #374
    ewj1978
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,596 ✭✭✭ewj1978


    Do you have a mirror in your knickers? Cos i see myself in them...


  • #375
    steo87
    Closed Accounts Posts: 510 ✭✭✭steo87


    Well its not something I said...more something we saw:
    Out on a date last year with a girl - we went to the cinema, as ya do. We decided to see Straightheads (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straightheads) as it looked good, Gillian Anderson and Danny Dyer were in it, so it might be some sorta indie up and coming film............
    Holy jesus.......it was the worst thing I could ever have done - a girl gets raped in it.....not the type of film to bring a girl to on the first date!


  • #376
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Do you know what cheese rolling is?"

    :pac:


  • #377
    FX Meister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,215 ✭✭✭FX Meister


    no. explain


  • #378
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    "You remind me of my ex!"


  • #379
    Nailz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,688 ✭✭✭Nailz


    My bed is big enough for 3 people ;)!


  • #380
    matchthis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭matchthis


    Can my dog watch? He won't bite....hard
    Should at least open her mouth wide enough:D


  • #381
    Nailz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,688 ✭✭✭Nailz


    The word on the street is that you're a prostitute... but you can't be, you're not good enough!


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  • #382
    Ross_Mahon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,283 ✭✭✭Ross_Mahon


    "Do you play World Of Warcraft? Dungeons And Dragons? What about Warhammer???"


  • #383
    Bijoux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭Bijoux


    Ross_Mahon wrote: »
    "Do you play World Of Warcraft? Dungeons And Dragons? What about Warhammer???"

    I've ACTUALLY been asked that!!!
    Minus the dungeons and dragons bit though :pac:


  • #384
    Morlar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,273 ✭✭✭Morlar


    '. . . so then after the second rape conviction . . . '

    or

    'You know in this light you almost look as good as Mary Harney . . '

    she will ne-hever look at you the same way again.


  • #385
    Delirium
    Moderators Posts: 52,142 ✭✭✭✭Delirium


    Would you mind being my alibi for 2 nights ago?:eek:

    If you can read this, you're too close!



  • #386
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    I'm just goin to the jacks for a minute, you wouldn't by any chance have a syringe on you, would ye?


  • #387
    reggiethefirst
    Closed Accounts Posts: 180 ✭✭reggiethefirst


    Can I come inside you.


  • #388
    mud
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭mud


    Him: "Do you KNOW how many points are in that dessert"?


    *should have gone to weight watchers*


  • #389
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    Jasus you've an arse the size of a small colony!


  • #390
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi my name is Timothy and Im an Investment Banker"


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  • #391
    CursedSkeptic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 137 ✭✭CursedSkeptic


    I like to dissect girls, did you know I'm utterly insane?


This discussion has been closed.
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