Things you would never hear a Rose of Tralee contestant saying

Tom Dunne · 16-08-2008 06:50PM #1

Seeing as it is that time of year again when we will all be lusting after feeling sorry for watching the lurvely ladies, I wonder what they wouldn't say when up there on the stage with Ryan?

Take me Ryan, right here, right now.

F**K world peace. Gimme that tiara.

Can I borrow €20? I need to do another line to get me through this.

Hey Ryan, how about you join me and Ms. New Zealand in the hot tub later?

Hagar · 16-08-2008 06:53PM

"Can I dance ? Just get me a pole and I'll show you dancing."*

*Not me now, that's the Rose talking. Don't be quoting me.

Nevyn · 16-08-2008 07:09PM

Yes once I get enough press exposure I want to expose myself some more by doing porn.

oblivious · 16-08-2008 07:36PM

I run the US's largest swinging site

staker · 16-08-2008 07:41PM

"Has my diarrhea come through my dress?"

bandit197 · 16-08-2008 07:43PM

'jeez that guinness leaves some mess in the knickers!'

Bijoux · 16-08-2008 07:49PM

"My partypiece? Juggling vibrators....a skill every girl should know!"

"Jaysus Ryan, ya wouldn't have a naggin on ya, wouldja?"

"Atheism, lesbianism and drug abuse are the three main components of my being"

AlmightyCushion · 16-08-2008 07:53PM

My talent is I can shoot ping pong balls out of my pussy.

bandit197 · 16-08-2008 07:56PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

My talent is I can shoot ping pong balls out of my pussy.

That would be excellent, can you imagine the calls to Joe Duffy:D

Zaph · 16-08-2008 07:59PM

I had a quickie round the back with my escort before I came on.

All the other girls are lovely and we've got on really well together. Well except for the girl from Cork who's a total bitch.

KnifeWRENCH · 16-08-2008 07:59PM

Well, I'm 22 years old, and I've been female for 3 years now....

PogMoThoin · 16-08-2008 08:01PM

Dublin Rose

Aaaaaawright Ryan bud, Whaas da bleeedin story, My Name is Sandra Duffer, I'm a 18 year old mother of 5 from Finglas, I can bury a 6 inch bone quicker than a dog

brianthebard · 16-08-2008 08:10PM

'my ma had to shag an irish setter for me to qualify for this'.

homerjay2005 · 16-08-2008 09:08PM

dont mind your fancy shi*e ryan, lob it into me there boss.

Bijoux · 16-08-2008 09:18PM

homerjay2005 wrote: »

dont mind your fancy shi*e ryan, lob it into me there boss.

Classy!

taidghbaby · 17-08-2008 10:48AM

well i dont really know who the father is, but im going on jerry springer next week to find out!

Nevyn · 17-08-2008 10:55AM

I am so glad that I did have that abortion cos other wise as a single mother I could not have applied.

Tom Dunne · 17-08-2008 11:40AM

Ok, can we take the tone up a notch or two? I didn't expect it to slide (no pun intended) into this, you manky shower of feckers.

kthanksbai.

Nevyn · 17-08-2008 12:46PM

Sorry Tom.

"And I said to myself, xtreme gastro bypass is a small thing to endure in order to be A rose of Tralee and not a whole rose bed."

taidghbaby · 17-08-2008 12:51PM

OMG I have been here for like two weeks and i havent seen one leprechaun yet!

(or wait has an american rose said that

)

ChewChew · 17-08-2008 01:11PM

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Seeing as it is that time of year again when we will all be lusting after feeling sorry for watching the lurvely ladies

Anyone care to tell me WHY we will all be watching the rose of Tralee?? Tom. . explain yourself. . . . oh the nolan sisters must be starring this year or something

And something you'd never hear a Rose say on stage. . .

''any chance I can bring me pint on stage too? I've got an awful thirst after that doner kebab last night''

youtheman · 17-08-2008 01:25PM

Sorry for a bit of 'thread drift', but I remember something funny about the Rose Festival.

I'm from near Tralee and I've been going to the festival for years. Many moons ago the Rose Festival Members used to wear a suit which consisted of a cream jacket and dark pants. Then one year they changed to an all blue suit. The year they changed I saw a bloke with last years suit, looking something straight out of the D'unbelievables. He has one of those formal name badges which said :

Joe Bloggs
Escort
1300 GL

I thought it was brilliant.

Another time there was a band called 'Driveshaft' playing a public gig. A guy sauntered up the a cop and said ' Do you know where 'Back Axle' are playing.