Things you would never hear a Rose of Tralee contestant saying

Tom Dunne

Seeing as it is that time of year again when we will all be lusting after feeling sorry for watching the lurvely ladies, I wonder what they wouldn't say when up there on the stage with Ryan?

Take me Ryan, right here, right now.

F**K world peace. Gimme that tiara.

Can I borrow €20? I need to do another line to get me through this.

Hey Ryan, how about you join me and Ms. New Zealand in the hot tub later?

Hagar

"Can I dance ? Just get me a pole and I'll show you dancing."*


*Not me now, that's the Rose talking. Don't be quoting me.

Nevyn

Yes once I get enough press exposure I want to expose myself some more by doing porn.

oblivious

I run the US's largest swinging site

staker

"Has my diarrhea come through my dress?"

bandit197

'jeez that guinness leaves some mess in the knickers!'

Bijoux

"My partypiece? Juggling vibrators....a skill every girl should know!"

"Jaysus Ryan, ya wouldn't have a naggin on ya, wouldja?"

"Atheism, lesbianism and drug abuse are the three main components of my being"

AlmightyCushion

My talent is I can shoot ping pong balls out of my pussy.

bandit197

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

My talent is I can shoot ping pong balls out of my pussy.

That would be excellent, can you imagine the calls to Joe Duffy:D

Zaph

I had a quickie round the back with my escort before I came on.

All the other girls are lovely and we've got on really well together. Well except for the girl from Cork who's a total bitch.

KnifeWRENCH

Well, I'm 22 years old, and I've been female for 3 years now....

PogMoThoin

Dublin Rose

Aaaaaawright Ryan bud, Whaas da bleeedin story, My Name is Sandra Duffer, I'm a 18 year old mother of 5 from Finglas, I can bury a 6 inch bone quicker than a dog

brianthebard

'my ma had to shag an irish setter for me to qualify for this'.

homerjay2005

dont mind your fancy shi*e ryan, lob it into me there boss.

Bijoux

homerjay2005 wrote: »

dont mind your fancy shi*e ryan, lob it into me there boss.

Classy!

taidghbaby

well i dont really know who the father is, but im going on jerry springer next week to find out!

Nevyn

I am so glad that I did have that abortion cos other wise as a single mother I could not have applied.

Tom Dunne

Ok, can we take the tone up a notch or two? I didn't expect it to slide (no pun intended) into this, you manky shower of feckers.

kthanksbai.

Nevyn

Sorry Tom.

"And I said to myself, xtreme gastro bypass is a small thing to endure in order to be A rose of Tralee and not a whole rose bed."

taidghbaby

OMG I have been here for like two weeks and i havent seen one leprechaun yet!

(or wait has an american rose said that )

ChewChew

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Seeing as it is that time of year again when we will all be lusting after feeling sorry for watching the lurvely ladies

Anyone care to tell me WHY we will all be watching the rose of Tralee?? Tom. . explain yourself. . . . oh the nolan sisters must be starring this year or something

And something you'd never hear a Rose say on stage. . .

''any chance I can bring me pint on stage too? I've got an awful thirst after that doner kebab last night''

youtheman

Sorry for a bit of 'thread drift', but I remember something funny about the Rose Festival.

I'm from near Tralee and I've been going to the festival for years. Many moons ago the Rose Festival Members used to wear a suit which consisted of a cream jacket and dark pants. Then one year they changed to an all blue suit. The year they changed I saw a bloke with last years suit, looking something straight out of the D'unbelievables. He has one of those formal name badges which said :

Joe Bloggs
Escort
1300 GL

I thought it was brilliant.

Another time there was a band called 'Driveshaft' playing a public gig. A guy sauntered up the a cop and said ' Do you know where 'Back Axle' are playing.

ChewChew

@ YouTheMan. . . what a classic!! I did actually LOL.

Seth Brundle

Back to what you wouldn't hear a rose say:

Ryan - I swallow!

bucks73

"Oh my God Derek, youve lost so much weight"

Ginny

*Isn't Ray D'arcy presenting it?*

bucks73

Thats true actually.

ChewChew

''hold me pint there for a sec will ya? me knickers are givin me a wedgy''

the immortals

"jesus tralee is an awful kip, is'nt it"

LadyJ

"Lick me rasher!"

Jesus Wept

Responding "Ask me gee" to each and every question.

Star Lord

"Would ye ever feck off wi your stupid questions!

...

Sorry, never mind me Ray, I'm on the blob and me temper's fierce!"

grames_bond

jaysus theres a fierce bang a tayto off you!

Seth Brundle

"I'm a man trapped in a woman's body!"

DarkJager

"I call this piece 2 Girls,1 Cup"

Slow Motion

Rose of Tralee? With all the goats back stage I thought this was the Puck Fair!

Great tread, has cheered me up from my hangover .

SV

"sorry about this now but I've a terrible case of the itchies ya know yerself"

"sorry Im late bud.. yer man wouldn't lemme ou of th bed! ripped me apart he did!

grames_bond

"LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE"

Tom Dunne

GinnyJo wrote: »

*Isn't Ray D'arcy presenting it?*

Hush you. I also am only after realising that it isn't on until next week. Doh!

Just shows how much attention I actually pay to it.

Anyway, back on topic.

"How about you and me grab a goat afterwards and see what pops up?"

"Ray, you know you could do a lot better for yourself than that Jenny tramp?"

RKDus

"... and then he gave us all pearl necklaces."

John Mason

In France, Hugo's literary reputation rests primarily on his poetic and dramatic output and only secondarily on his novels. Among many volumes of poetry, Les Contemplations and La Légende des siècles stand particularly high in critical esteem, and Hugo is sometimes identified as the greatest French poet. Outside France, his best-known works are the novels Les Misérables and Notre-Dame de Paris (sometimes translated into English as The Hunchback of Notre-Dame).

Wagon

"Hurry up Ray and let me get off the stage and out of this poxy tight dress! You could roll a joint with my gee flaps."

John Mason

Eliot was born in the United States, moved to the United Kingdom in 1914 (at age 25), and became a British subject in 1927 at the age of 39. Of his nationality and its role in his work, T.S. Eliot said: "[My poetry] wouldn’t be what it is if I’d been born in England, and it wouldn’t be what it is if I’d stayed in America. It’s a combination of things. But in its sources, in its emotional springs, it comes from America."[4]

Fratton Fred

"hey Ryan, Pull my finger"

Seth Brundle

Hello Ray...hee hee...I want to...hee hee...save the world...hee hee...have kids because I so love kids...hee hee...




Oh wait!

Splinter

"ray, we must hurry as i have to make sandwiches for the brothers and brotherettes"

Slow Motion

A joke you say Ray, OK, Right Gary Glitter met George Michael in the toilet at the airport and................

minidazzler

"Jaysus Ray, Am I showin' Camel Toe?"

"Ray bud, that escort of mine is a right Roide!"

grames_bond

go on ray...show us yer helmet!!

cheater

Commando is great isn't it.