Weekday weddings - selfish?

It's not as simple as not going if it's inconvenient for you. You have been invited usually because the bride and groom would like you to be there (or your partner to be there) and sometimes you are obliged to take a day or two off work even though you'd prefer not to be there. I know I'd have preferred to skip one wedding my boyfriend wanted to go to.

On the other hand, if the bride and groom invite you, despite knowing you might have to inconvenience yourself, they have to expect that you may not attend.

At the end of the day, you are never going to please everyone.

However, if you do decide to have it on a Monday through Thursday, then be prepared for more people not to be able to attend than if you had it on a Friday through Sunday.

Most reasonable people will do their best to attend a wedding that the bride & groom have bothered to invite them to. However, depending on their circumstances; several weekday weddings already attended, business trips, too far to travel back & to work from etc, they my not be able to attend.

It's a fact of life. So, you need to decide what is more important to you. Have as many people as you can attend (and sometimes you have to invite people out of duty and it's works out better when they cannot attend!) or keep costs down.

Whatever you decide, good luck on your big day !

as both an attendee of weddings and now someone who's planning their own wedding I'm not a fan of weekday weddings, and the only reason I'd go for one is if i wanted to get married sooner rather than waiting.

Maybe things are different in dublin (where most on this thread seem to be from) but down in cork at least any hotel we looked at had a winter/weekday deal, ie the same weekday discounts are available from nov to march. given the fact that you have no guarantee of good weather at any time of year in ireland we've chosen to have a saturday wedding in november instead of a weekday wedding in august.

the whole "if they care they'll come regardless of when and where" lark is a bit rich as far as I'm concerned. most people only have 20 days holidays per year. most people are invited to weddings as couples, a lot of the time only 1 half of the couple knows the bride and groom so you're dragging along the other person you dont even know for 10% of their holidays too.

as someone else pointed out the hotel is probably one of the last places to be cutting costs anyway, dresses, photographers, cars, suits, flowers, hair, make up, and even the guest list would all be places I would suggest cutting back.

In my mind there is a difference between saving and cutting costs.

savings are small amounts that can be shaved off everywhere, cutting costs is making a major change to save money, and in my opinion there are a lot of other areas where big costs can be reduced before I'd go after big costs on the reception.

I dont have money to burn and I will haggle and compare every price available. But I would rather have less people at a wedding on a saturday than more on a thursday, and not hire a wedding car, expensive photographers, a fancy cake, an insanely expensive dress that will be worn once.

I'd cut back on all those items before the reception.

from what I can see and from talking to people who have gotten married recently the hotel seems to make up about half the cost of an average irish wedding. the bit that caters for the largest number of people makes up half, the bits that cater for the two people on the alter make up the bulk of the other half, I think the hotel half represents much better value for money.

the reason a lot of couples dont just save costs by having less people at a wedding on a saturday is that most hotels have introduced minimum numbers of guests for saturday weddings. the hotel im getting married in requires a minimum of 150 guests for a sat wedding.


so unless you wanna change venue or invite more people which will cost more you have to have your wedding on a weekday

shapez wrote: »

"Monday for health,
Tuesday for wealth,
Wednesday the best day of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
and Saturday is no day at all."

My granny always says that. SHe is 99 and got married in 1938. Apparantly, in her day everyone got married on a Wednesday!

Incidently, my wife and I married on a saturday. We considered the weekday option, but felt in the overall scheme of things the savings were not worth the hassle for everyone who had to travel.

The discount offered (Mon - Thurs) by the hotel was 10% of the meal which for us worked out at about €600.

When we divied up our budget we were conscious of not trying to cut back on the meal or the wine but to try and make savings elsewhere!

BroomBurner wrote: »

It's all well and good having your wedding on a saturday when you can afford not to save €600. Also, judging by your figures, you probably had a good couple of hundred people, which is also not favoured by everyone. Most hotels will only allow a saturday wedding for groups of 150+, which puts extra pressure on a bride and groom that may not want to have this many people. Somebody else posted this same reason.

On making savings with the hotel, why is it ok to look for savings on everything else but not the hotel? Surely if you want to save money, you look at all areas of your wedding, not just a select few.

We viewed these as cut backs, not savings. As far as I remember there were no minimum numbers required for a saturday in where we held our reception.

We had about 150 people at the wedding, alot of whom were travelling. We figured the least we could offers them for taking the time to share in our day was a decent meal and plenty of wine.

I would say to the OP if you can't afford to have a saturday wedding within your budget, then by all means opt for the weekday, but for us there were other cuts to be made that allowed us to have our wedding on a Saturday.

helena.ryan wrote: »

I was actually coming in here to ask something similar.

I have a date in mind which is very special to us for a number of reasons, problem is, it falls on a wednesday.

I hope the wedding will be small and intimate, but we have large families which we rarely see, but "have" to invite. A weekday wedding, IMO will cut out the people who are going because they feel obliged to. It will allow us have our small wedding with the people who care enough to be there.

Thinking through the guests we actually want there. I honestly can't think of one who would complain about a mid week wedding, especially with over a years notice. If they do then frankly, they are not welcome.

Same with families with children, kids are not invited. People complaining about this can just not come. No hard feelings or anything, but if it is awkward for people then a simple "I'm sorry, I cant make it" would be better then a guest being there and not wanting to be there.

Not everyone can afford two days holidays. The last wedding we went to my wife had to work the day after in the car as I drove back to Dublin. As for children, we didn't want them either but a couple were brought anyways.

checkout www.weddingsonline.ie for ideas on how to exclude the kiddies.
there's a few good ones that I can't remember at the moment

helena.ryan wrote: »

We'll be organising a bus back to a central area in dublin, probably dropping off in tallaght and the city centre, later in the night for those who want to work the next day.

I think we will specifically put a note on the invitations saying that kids are not invited. Not in those words exactly of course.