Should I bother with the Engagemnt Ring?

giggles · 18-07-2008 07:24PM

Put it this way - you're planning on wearing that ring every day for the rest of your life you don't want to settle for one that isn't your first choice. I got engaged myself in Janurary and still don't have my ring as I'm happy to wait and save towards the cost of my ideal ring. Is that something you would/could consider?

Personally I'd rather not wear a ring if it wasn't one that I absolutly loved!

Redpunto · 18-07-2008 07:28PM

You can only spend what you can afford, personally that does a bit excessive for a ring. We were much younger when we got engaged, we both had to pay it off bit by bit for a few months and we had a set idea of what money we would spend on it before looking at them. If you could afford it and your fella ws just being tight then of course you should get it but if dont have the money for it why get it? You will find one you will love just as much if you decide to go the cheaper route.

MJOR · 22-07-2008 02:32PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

That is such a load of crap and it's only peddled by jewellers and girls trying to guilt-trip their boyfriends into buying them a bigger rock.

The "going rate" was traditionally one month's salary, and that was introduced by DeBeers in the late 19th century as a marketing technique. Then suddenly (and I literally mean in the last 6 months) I started hearing two months and now it's three??? Pathetic.

Roisinbunny, whatever you end up going for, just make sure you're getting a fair price. €3,000 for a .47c ring seems pricey.

My original engagement ring, bought two years ago was .38c in platinum and cost €1,750. Obviously, platinum prices have risen since then, but not by that much.

I lost the ring 6 weeks before the wedding, which was a bit of a pain! We replaced it on our honeymoon in New York and the price difference over there is unreal!

Yeah New York is great I heard too as is Amsterdam

Whoa I was only saying what I heard note the use of the word "apparently"

chatty woman · 23-07-2008 10:01AM

It all depends on what you would like

Option 1,

A cheaper ring, a house you can call your own, and a happy hubby,

Option 2,

A more expensive ring, less money towards a roof over your head, and a less happy hubby ....

for the sake of a rock on a gold band, i think its more important to start what i hope will be a very long and happy marrage off on the right foot. They say diamonds are forever ... not true, its the marrage that is ment to be forever:)

Roisinbunny · 31-07-2008 08:52PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

The "going rate" was traditionally one month's salary, and that was introduced by DeBeers in the late 19th century as a marketing technique. Then suddenly (and I literally mean in the last 6 months) I started hearing two months and now it's three???
!

That is so true - pretty soon it will be the annual salary!

To be honest I always thought the saying was 1 months salary:o totally ridiculous.....

Roisinbunny · 31-07-2008 08:56PM

chatty woman wrote: »

Option 2,

A more expensive ring, less money towards a roof over your head, and a less happy hubby ....
They say diamonds are forever ... not true, its the marrage that is ment to be forever:)

That is totally true - I saw on on of the other boards that someone was looking to sell their engagement ring and made me think how unspecial (if that word exists!) that the whole thing is now - so many girls I know are getting engaged for the big rock and the big day - not actually thinking of being with this person til the end.... I know one divorcing after 3 years..

herya · 31-07-2008 09:15PM

Could you go totally against the tide and choose something not because of social pressure but to resemble your favourite things or personality? Like getting a sapphire ring if you love blue, or an ornate Victorian vintage ring if this is your style, or a stoneless platinum designer ring if you're into modern style?

They would be much more personal, cost a lot less and I'm sure in the years to come when you look back at the ring issue you'd rather have something individual & romantic than a pricey but generic diamond all your friends have.

Personally I don't give a *** what my friends think of my ring! I love it as it is totally my thing and was given with love - I hope

- and it cost a fraction of a fraction of what you plan to spend.

uberwolf · 31-07-2008 09:29PM

giggles wrote: »

Personally I'd rather not wear a ring if it wasn't one that I absolutly loved!

what is going to dictate how much you love the ring? The man who gives it to you, or how many ohh's and aah's your friends gasp with?

Diamonds are all marketing, De Beers have mountains of the things suppressing supply to inflate prices. Would you be as happy with a laboratory diamond?

I'm not trying to single you out, but the consumerism around the entire things really gets at me. People completely lose sight of the point of the exercise

Roisinbunny · 02-08-2008 07:13PM

uberwolf wrote: »

Diamonds are all marketing, De Beers have mountains of the things suppressing supply to inflate prices. Would you be as happy with a laboratory diamond?

Ya does anyone else think that some of the cubic zirconia's are just as nice as the "real thing"? I saw some really pretty one's the other day for under EUR300 and TBH I thought they looked really well. I know my sister has one and lots of people think that it is an engagement ring when she puts it on that finger.

I'm sure some people will be laughing at me in disgust but there you go:o

A friend of a friend has a v expensive 1 that others then think is costume jewellery so really what are we spending it for!

herya · 02-08-2008 07:34PM

I'd say go with what you like absolutely! The only important thing is that you both like the ring and that it means something for you. I really don't believe in the "status symbol" attitude.

Terpsichore · 07-08-2008 11:06AM

This is all amazing!

I was shopping for a simple engagement ring myself two months ago, which prooved rather difficult. You can easily find rings for over EUR15,000.00! Shok horror when I even saw some for EUR50,000.00!!! So to haggle about EUR1,500.00! Please!

If this is important for you, that's what should matter to your life partner as well. They say that a woman looks at her engagement ring more than 1 million times in her life time... so it better be nice and meaningfull!

If this is just pressure from your entourage, forget about the ring all together and look deep inside you for what really matters to you.

To be reasonable is one thing. To be a stupid selfish consumer under pressure is another one. To be in love and want to celebrate it in style is yet another one!

Who are you and what do you really want?

All the best. It's not easy. Have a hug.

girl_friday · 09-08-2008 11:10AM

Honey-ec wrote: »

That is such a load of crap and it's only peddled by jewellers and girls trying to guilt-trip their boyfriends into buying them a bigger rock.

The "going rate" was traditionally one month's salary, and that was introduced by DeBeers in the late 19th century as a marketing technique. Then suddenly (and I literally mean in the last 6 months) I started hearing two months and now it's three??? Pathetic.

I have a friend who swears blind it is supposed to be one month's salary for each year ye are together!! :eek: I think its madness!!

girl_friday · 09-08-2008 11:19AM

I was engaged a few years ago but unfortunately the relationship ended... As my engagement ring I had a silver claddagh ring with a cubic zirconia in it... Think it cost about €15 but it symbolised all I wanted!! The plan had been to eventually replace it with a white gold and diamond one down the line... Not everyone would be happy with this option but I was as I didn't see the need to put my OH under financial pressure which in turn would have put extra pressure on our relationship!! I feel very strongly that no man should have to go into debt in order to buy the ring as it doesn't provide a good start to a marriage!! Just my view however and others may disagree!

Another option OP is to get the smaller stone and down the line replace it with the bigger one using the same band... A kind of upgrade!! Perhaps for a 5th or 10th anniversary when the house is set up and finances are a little better! Also a nice way to mark the success of your relationship!!

Best of luck with it all!!

iguana · 09-08-2008 01:51PM

girl_friday wrote: »

I have a friend who swears blind it is supposed to be one month's salary for each year ye are together!! :eek: I think its madness!!

I think that must have been made up by some woman who didn't want to wait years and years for her boyfriend to propose.:D

Emerald Lass · 19-08-2008 12:52PM

NinjaTruncs wrote: »

my advie is get the cheaper ring now, put the other money to saving for the house. When you celebrate 10 or 20 years he can get you a bigger rock.

If you just want the bigger rock to impress other people (which is the attitude of a lot of girls) you are spending money for the wrong reason.

I agree. the urge to impress others is huge, but to be honest its misplaced. How many of these 'friends' who you want to impress would even know the difference between a diamond and a cubic zircona????

A friend of mine got an engagement ring worth about €10k (her other half is minted! lucky girl! lol) anyway, although it is expensive, it is relatively small. some daft twats who see it comment on its size. they don't appreciate that it is worth 5 times more than most of their rings, which have big rocks, but of lower quality. If yu are that cocerned about how things look to others, get the biggest CZ you can find, flash it around, and when you win the lotto replace it with a diamond! i'd be prepare to bet that 99.9% of the people who see it will not know its a CZ anyway!

As for the cultural differences - my partner also has a different view to engagement rings. here both partners get a ring, which looks like what we consider a wedding band. some are very fancy, with engraving and diamonds. it signifies that both partners are involved in the engagement. then on the wedding day itself, sometimes the bride will get a diamond ring, or others get it on their anniversary or birth of the first child. It is considered a bonus, and in no way are those who do not want, or cannot afford a diamond looked down upon. some have a 'taditional western' engagement ring, others dont. As members of a society where so much meaning is placed on an engagement ring, you can feel hard done by, but you need to see things from his point of view too - for someone not raised in our culture it can seem like a complete waste of money and sheer vanity.

rosinbunny - I am glad you have now gotten some perpective and I applaude you for not getting all defensive or high and mighty when some of the posts did not say make him buy a whopper of a diamond! that shows that in fact you are not a selfish and vain person, just a little disappointed that you can't afford the larger ring. So many of us have been there, and it sucks when reality has to kick in and you realise you can't afford all your dreams.

Also, for me personally, whilst in theory I would LOVE to have a €5k ring on my finger, in reality I would probably be nervoous as all hell tat it would get damaged or something. I want something I am comfortable wearing everyday without being a bag of nerves! my mum's engagement ring (which I now wear) is worth about €1000 by todays standards, and I love it, not for its value, but for its sentimental worth. If I could never afford the ring I want I would be happy to wear it instead, as it has meaning. Either that or get the CZ, and lie! lol of course its a real diamond, dahling! lol:D

Emerald Lass · 19-08-2008 01:06PM

Roisinbunny wrote: »

I think I'd rather not get the flowers and jewels but get the loyalty & trust:)

never a truer sentence was spoken. A big thumbs up from me.

Roisinbunny wrote: »

Ya he is a bit tight sometimes but I love him for that - (my finances have never been better)

same with my guy -thank god for him, or god knows what condition my credit card would have ended up in! lol your man sounds a lot like my own - you sure he has no long lost brothers! :rolleyes:

Roisinbunny · 31-08-2008 08:38PM

Emerald Lass wrote: »

lol your man sounds a lot like my own - you sure he has no long lost brothers! :rolleyes:

God you never know!:)

Should I bother with the Engagemnt Ring?

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