Most retarded...

sebastianlieken · 18-05-2008 03:06PM #1

okay, over the past few months, ive heard my share of retarded comments about computers. I was going back in my head and decided I just have to post about this. If you have any that you have genuinely heard coming outa sumones mouth, please...do share.

1. My friend (girl) here in college recently bought a new pc (that actually rivals my own in my specs below) for CAD. she was afraid to move her older pc off her desk and out of the way because ***she thought the files would fall out.....***

2. I was filling up my sisters external hard-drive with a bunch of movies, she picks it up during the process and remarks; "cool, it isnt getting TOO much heavier"....

3. A friend (a guy this time) was looking at my computer through the plexi-glass side cover...looks at the cpu FAN and asks "oh, is that what the hard-drive looks like"

4. the same friend then asks how much RAM is in it. I tell him 2 gigs. he says back to me "oh, cool my laptop is faster than ur pc...mine has 160Gigs"

5. I had my 20" samsung monitor on my desk, with peripherals all in place. the pc itself was disconnected and was in a different room. friend looks at monitor...says "wow,that pc there must be really fast"

all of the above have actually been said to me... with dead serious intent.
PANTS ON HEAD RETARDED

aidan_walsh · 18-05-2008 03:09PM

People who get computers in not getting people who don't get computers shocker.

sebastianlieken · 18-05-2008 03:19PM

aidan_walsh wrote: »

People who get computers in not getting people who don't get computers shocker.

except...that this goes a good bit beyond the lines of common sense. especially if i throw in the fact that 1,3, and 5 were said by engineering students, and 4 was said by a 4th year computer science student.

its all for a laugh anyway...(being in a computers forum...:pac:). i know that loadsa people dont get computers at all. but still like. the above are a bit over the top.

Nforce · 18-05-2008 03:59PM

Silliest thing that I often hear, and it's a very common mistake, is that for example a 3 GHZ quad processor is a 12GHZ chip:rolleyes:

Dartz · 18-05-2008 05:11PM

These are older than the hills. They date back to the venerable days of Charles Babbage and his difference engine, how he was telling potential inviestors that his engine would always give a mathematically correct answer.

"And so Mister Babbage sir," says the distinguished genetleman, "If I were to input the wrong numbers, would it still give me the correct answer,"

At least these Victorians had the excuse of never having seen or heard of a computer in their life.

gloobag · 18-05-2008 06:00PM

The worst I've had:

A couple of years ago in my previous job, as factory IT support for a pretty huge company (I won't name them here.), I'd just sat down at my desk at 07:30AM to start the day when the Bat-phone (Support phone) rings.

Frustrated Factory Manager: "One of the terminals down here on the floor is down. It's stopping the whole line!"

Me: "What's wrong with it?"

Frustrated Factory Manager: "I don't know, it's just showing a blue screen."

Me: "Alright, I'll be down to ya as quick as I can!"

At this point I'm thinking, "Great a feckin' Blue Screen of Death first thing in the morning, it's gonna be one of those days".

I race down to the stricken terminal to find approx. 6-8 different managers/supervisers, some of which are IT, in a circle around the computer, all scratching their heads looking confused.

I make my way through the crowd to get a look at this "Blue Screen".

I glance at the monitor for one second. . . . then turn around to face the halfwits behind me and look at them with disgust and contempt!

It was the default Windows2000, BLUE desktop :eek:

I moved the mouse down to the bottom of the screen to bring the taskbar out of auto hide and walked away without saying a word :cool:

Cuddlesworth · 19-05-2008 12:12PM

User spilt tea on her laptop, decided while it was still plugged in and on that she would wash the tea out with water. This at 8:30 Monday morning. Nearly won the argument with her boss that she was incapable of using a computer. Relented when it meant she would lose her job.

She got fired a month later as she had put 40gigs of porn on her work machine and then complained there was no free space on the hard-drive.

Cabaal · 19-05-2008 04:38PM

My god!
Just think about all those people who drive cars on a daily basis and know **** all about them, shock horror!

Overheal · 19-05-2008 04:45PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2ZkJd4u0Us

TomCo · 19-05-2008 04:57PM

Overheal wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2ZkJd4u0Us

Ah, BananaOS.

Khannie · 19-05-2008 05:34PM

Cabaal wrote: »

My god!
Just think about all those people who drive cars on a daily basis and know **** all about them, shock horror!

Hehe. Fair point. You can be sure mechanics have a good laugh at them though. No harm in it.

Lockstep · 19-05-2008 05:37PM

sebastianlieken · 19-05-2008 06:42PM

haha...

P.O.S...that sounds like a good make... HOW MANY JIGGAWATTS....sad thing is, i think someone has one said that to me before [smiley face] proper roll eyes smiley [/smiley face]

Lockstep · 19-05-2008 06:46PM

Also:
Marge and the kids arrive at Spinster City Apartments, where Patty & Selma reside. Selma answers.

MARGE
I've left Homer!

SELMA
Thank God.

MARGE
So we need a place to spend the night.

SELMA
Try the Sleep-Eazy motel. I woke up there once. It seemed nice.

MARGE
Why can't we stay here?

SELMA
Uh, we have a gentleman caller.

TV REPAIR MAN
Hey, this TV's not broken, it's just unplugged. What the--

The door slams shut.

calex71 · 19-05-2008 09:55PM

ah i remember my call center days when we got a call from a guy who couldnt open a jpeg attachment in outlook, turns out the file association was screwed up. So 30 seconds later the problem was fixed and the agent then proceded to test and make sure everything was working by opening the attachment as it was the 1st jpeg to hand the guy doesnt say anything when the agent tells him he'll open the attachment to test it but as soon as it was double clicked the guy started screming noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but it was too late any one standing around the agents desk could see the guys wife in all her nakid glory

Ghost Train · 19-05-2008 10:38PM

this is a great guide

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI2xK6zbaoI

Doctor DooM · 19-05-2008 10:47PM

calex71 wrote: »

ah i remember my call center days when we got a call from a guy who couldnt open a jpeg attachment in outlook, turns out the file association was screwed up. So 30 seconds later the problem was fixed and the agent then proceded to test and make sure everything was working by opening the attachment as it was the 1st jpeg to hand the guy doesnt say anything when the agent tells him he'll open the attachment to test it but as soon as it was double clicked the guy started screming noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but it was too late any one standing around the agents desk could see the guys wife in all her nakid glory

Similar story...

When I was new in a certain mobile phone retailer, I was trying to set up a phone for Multimedia messaging which wasn't working. Now, proceedure says you take a new picture and send it yourself to test it. However, I didn't know that, being new, and went to his pictures to use one. First one comes up is a picture of the guys schlong, shot from above... I couldn't look up at him...

YUCK

Most retarded...

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