Steamed Hams

Ruu_Old · 10-05-2008 05:46PM #1

Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

AlmightyCushion · 10-05-2008 06:03PM

Ruu, you're an odd fellow but you steam a good ham.

cHaTbOx · 11-05-2008 07:35AM

Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?
Seymour Skinner: "Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having."

davej · 11-05-2008 08:37AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FU9QgAOLDE

Jesus Wept · 11-05-2008 03:59PM

Superintendant Chalmers: Steamed hams?
Principal Skinner: It's an upstate New York term.
Chalmers: Well I'm from Utica, I've never heard of them.
Skinner: It's more of an Albany term.

Jesus Wept · 11-05-2008 04:04PM

Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I should be go-od lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: No.
Agnes: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Skinner: No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.

cHaTbOx · 11-05-2008 05:23PM

Superintendant Chalmers:Seymour, why is that student lying uncontious on the floor?
Principal Skinner:well, sometimes the floor is better...[trails off]

Jesus Wept · 11-05-2008 05:48PM

Superintendent Chalmers: Leopold?
(Leopold approaches the podium. The students gasp at his threatening presence)
Leopold: All right you little punks, pick up your freakin' ears, because I'm only gonna say this once. From now on, things are gonna be very, very different around here... (Students gasp, he quickly changes to a cheerful demeanor)...with your new principal, Ned Flanders!

Principal Skinner: Dirksen, tuck in your shirt. Jaffee, spit out that gum!
Leopold: You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aw, he seems to know the students' names.

Ruu_Old · 11-05-2008 05:51PM

Bart Simpson: Hey, Chalmers, where are you from?
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I was born in Queens, went to Ball state, then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Uh, why do you ask?
[Bart is about to say something when Skinner Quickly puts his hand over his mouth]
Principal Skinner: Uh, don't worry, sir. I'll teach these children some respect for their town. I'm assigning each of you 20 hours of Community Service.
[the children walk offstage, groaning and moaning]
Ralph: Intercourse?
Superintendent Chalmers: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Try to make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.
[Bart looks at Skinner, and Skinner waves his hands "no"]

Jesus Wept · 11-05-2008 05:52PM

heh Intercourse
/sniggers

Agent Smith · 11-05-2008 05:53PM

Ralph: my cats breath smells like cat food.

Sherifu · 11-05-2008 05:55PM

Jesus Wept · 11-05-2008 06:13PM

KnifeWRENCH · 13-05-2008 12:15AM

"Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it."

Green Giant · 13-05-2008 11:20AM

The-Rigger wrote: »

Ned: They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbour.
Homer: Shut up, Flanders!
Ned: Okely-dokely-doo!

Ned: Hi-dilly-ho!
Homer: Go home.
Ned: Do-dilly-do!

everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders

ronnie3585 · 13-05-2008 01:42PM

"Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders"

Wazdakka · 13-05-2008 03:56PM

"Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."

"Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Jesus Wept · 15-05-2008 04:52AM

Flanders: 'Feels like I'm wearing - nothing at all!

Xavi6 · 15-05-2008 04:56AM

Ralph - "Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

Jesus Wept · 15-05-2008 05:25AM

Ralph - "Principle Skinner, I got car sick in your office."

ronnie3585 · 16-05-2008 06:52PM

Moe: Uh, hi, I'm Moe S.

Crowd: Hi, Moe!

Moe: Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young
punk comes in and tries to stick me up. [the crowd gasps]

Sideshow Mel: Whatever did you do, Moe?

Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but, I managed
to shoot him in the spine. [crowd claps and cheers]

Moe: Yeah. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!

BlackMamba · 16-05-2008 07:36PM

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

:D

Jesus Wept · 18-05-2008 03:18AM

Homer: Asleep at the switch?! I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!

Oman · 18-05-2008 10:36PM

just because i dont care doesnt mean i dont understand

Jesus Wept · 18-05-2008 10:41PM

Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure!

Oman · 18-05-2008 10:43PM

Homer: whats the point in going out, we're only gonna end up back here again

Jesus Wept · 18-05-2008 10:46PM

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Oman · 18-05-2008 10:48PM

If there was a law it would be against it

Predhead · 18-05-2008 10:52PM

''Something's not quite right with my Malibu Stacey...''

''My Spidey sense is tingling. Did anyone here call for a webslinger?...''

Oman · 18-05-2008 10:55PM

Marge I'm not gonna lie to you. [Homer turns back and watches tv again]

Jesus Wept · 18-05-2008 11:24PM

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Steamed Hams

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