Prostitution & Boyfriend

Sickandsad wrote: »

We were talking about traveling and swapping holiday stories when he said, really casually that the
Red light district in Paris is way less seedy than any other one he’s been too. He was in Paris with all his mates
For the rugby just before he met me. He said Amsterdam is by far the sleaziest. I just sat there in shock. I had no
Idea that he’d been to a prostitute before never mind several!!

Did he specifically say that he had sex with the prostitutes ? Its entirely possible he just went to the red light districts for a look and didnt do anything.

i have and most of my mates have. it's all part of growing up

If it happened in the past well its in the past
Is he like that now?
well what's the problem?

as for him showing an inherant disrespect for women he was probably drink/stoned egged on by his mates and when he got in there with her found it hard to 'rise to the occasion' pardon the expression and he still paid for the service .... now who took advantage of who?

in fairness, it proves hes honest if he can be open about things like that....isnt that a good thing?

troll?

HI OP

I dont really see it as much of a problem. Everybody has a past and whatever he has done or whoever he has done in the past, should stay in the past. As long as you were not in a relationship together at the time.

I admire his honesty with you and he obviously doesnt see it as much of an issue.

Having a sexual history is normal for people in a relationship. Of course it is going to be difficult for you to imagine him with someone else, so maybe its best not to be talked about.



Best of Luck.

Fair enough he traded up money for sex but this was all before he met you. As someone else pointed out he's still the same person as when he met you.

Personally I dont think its very fair to drop him over something like this. I mean if thats the case should all the participants in a relationship have to fill out a questionaire to let their partner decide if theres anything in their past that they dont like ?

Everyone does stuff in their life that other people dont agree with its as simple as that, and youve found one in his you dont agree with.

yea... what was she wearing

but seriously some things(past) are not ment to be said he could have been a bit more tactful
have the conversation with him once say everything what you've got to say and never bring it up again or it will just ruin whats left of your relationship

as a female, i personally would find it a big turn off if i found out my boyfriend had been with not one, but several prostitutes.

i can understand the curiosity and trying it once, but repeated visits? i guess its just that i would associate it with the kind of guys who use women, and regard them as sex objects. i wouldn't associate it with the kind of guy who has a respectful attitude towards women.

the thing is, its so 'normal' these days, sure all the guys do it, get over it, blah blah blah. i know two different people who have paid for sex, and i guess the attitude of one of them really turned me against the idea. he was all about describing the sordid details, two at a time, i did this and that to them etc. and it made me quite insecure as my boyfriend at the time seemed really jealous of the whole thing, and it made me feel inadequate.

i know these are obviously personal reasons for disliking the situation, but i also have a problem with the whole, you don't know who you're shagging, where she's been, did she use condoms every time and what i could be exposed to in the situation

from a moral standpoint, sex trafficking is a huge business these days, and yeah there are a lot of women in it for the money they can make, but at the same time, there's a huge proportion of women forced into it, for whatever reason, especially anywhere prostitution is illegal (everywhere except amsterdam i think?) and as a woman, that prospect disturbs me (i.e. that he potentially paid a pimp to rape a woman)

i know its all a little extreme, and theoretically i don't have a problem with prostitution per se, but in reality, the idea of being with a guy who has paid for sex a number of times while on 'lads' holidays or whatever, makes me feel a bit sick too, so i don't really blame you.

at the end of the day, its your decision. if you just can't look at him without thinking of it in disgust, well there's really no point in continuing the relationship. **** whatever anyone thinks about it being the norm and every guy has done it (i call bull**** on that completely, thats just what losers/sleazes who have to pay for sex say to make themselves feel better) in this case, its really your opinion that matters.

everyone in saying 'it's in the past' yea, *just* before they met, and if he's done it before several times, he's likely to be the kind of guy to do it again (not saying he'll do it while he's with you though)

look at it this way though, at least he was honest with you. which means he probably quite likes you, and didn't want this to come up in an awkward situation in future and potentially cause a huge row.