Prostitution & Boyfriend

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I posted earlier on about this situation but it must’ve gotten deleted. I’m very upset about it so I’ll keep it brief.
My boyfriend of 6 months who I’m really crazy about last night after dinner mentioned that he’s been with a few
Prostitutes. We were talking about traveling and swapping holiday stories when he said, really casually that the
Red light district in Paris is way less seedy than any other one he’s been too. He was in Paris with all his mates
For the rugby just before he met me. He said Amsterdam is by far the sleaziest. I just sat there in shock. I had no
Idea that he’d been to a prostitute before never mind several!!

I know it’s technically none of my business as it was before he met me but I feel cut up over this and don’t want him
Anywhere near me. I keep picturing him banging some girl in a seedy red room then regailing his frinds with all the
Sordid details in the pub later on….yeah lads, I did this to her and that to her..

Please help me deal with this, girls would this bother you? Whether it’s right to let it affect me or wrong, the fact is it’s
Tearing me apart so any kind words will be appreciated. I asked my friend in work and he said I’d be hard pushed to find
A guy who hasn’t or wouldn’t sh*g a prostitute so I really should just suck it up kinda thing. This did not help. Thanks.

xzanti

Sickandsad wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I posted earlier on about this situation but it must’ve gotten deleted. I’m very upset about it so I’ll keep it brief.
My boyfriend of 6 months who I’m really crazy about last night after dinner mentioned that he’s been with a few
Prostitutes. We were talking about traveling and swapping holiday stories when he said, really casually that the
Red light district in Paris is way less seedy than any other one he’s been too. He was in Paris with all his mates
For the rugby just before he met me. He said Amsterdam is by far the sleaziest. I just sat there in shock. I had no
Idea that he’d been to a prostitute before never mind several!!

I know it’s technically none of my business as it was before he met me but I feel cut up over this and don’t want him
Anywhere near me. I keep picturing him banging some girl in a seedy red room then regailing his frinds with all the
Sordid details in the pub later on….yeah lads, I did this to her and that to her..

Please help me deal with this, girls would this bother you? Whether it’s right to let it affect me or wrong, the fact is it’s
Tearing me apart so any kind words will be appreciated. I asked my friend in work and he said I’d be hard pushed to find
A guy who hasn’t or wouldn’t sh*g a prostitute so I really should just suck it up kinda thing. This did not help. Thanks.

Yes, it would bother me.. I know if I told my bf I had been with male jiggalos (sp) on holidays he'd dump my ass there and then, why should it be different for fellas, I know people will say, 'but it's in the past', I just couldn't be with someone who would pay for sex, I would just immediately put them into a certain catagory... That's my personal opinion...

Dragan

Wow, i can see this thread going completely pear-shaped so i will just say this....it doens't matter what other people feel OP.

If it's getting to you this much then take some time to think about it and see if it is something you can get over.

For what it is worth, i can't really see where you are coming from. If any girl i was going out with told me she had paid for sex at some point it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Susannahmia

As a girl I can totally empathise with you. It would bother me big time, I dont think I would ever be able to get over it. I know some people might not agree but for me it shows an inherent disrespect for women, not to mention himself and I find the thought of paying for sex disgusting and degrading. I have been with my boyfriend for three years now and love him dearly but if I found out something like this I would not be able to stay with him.

c - 13

Sickandsad wrote: »

We were talking about traveling and swapping holiday stories when he said, really casually that the
Red light district in Paris is way less seedy than any other one he’s been too. He was in Paris with all his mates
For the rugby just before he met me. He said Amsterdam is by far the sleaziest. I just sat there in shock. I had no
Idea that he’d been to a prostitute before never mind several!!

Did he specifically say that he had sex with the prostitutes ? Its entirely possible he just went to the red light districts for a look and didnt do anything.

Jimmy Bottlehead

I can empathise OP, I know how a partners past can bother people. It depends on the person. A lot on here will say 'the past doesn't matter, now get over it' but I know it takes time.

If you love your BF enough, you will see past something that in all likelyhood he probably isn't that proud of, and will see what attracted you to him in the first place. Try writing out all your feelings, and then writing down how you'd feel if the tables were turned. It might make you think differently, if the roles were reversed and he was giving you the boot for the same thing.

Beerlao

i have and most of my mates have. it's all part of growing up

kmick

c - 13 wrote: »

Did he specifically say that he had sex with the prostitutes ? Its entirely possible he just went to the red light districts for a look and didnt do anything.

Yeah most people would go for a look - its like a tourist attraction in Berlin. You better ask him before you dump him. If he did then by all means it warrants a dumping.

the GALL

If it happened in the past well its in the past
Is he like that now?
well what's the problem?

as for him showing an inherant disrespect for women he was probably drink/stoned egged on by his mates and when he got in there with her found it hard to 'rise to the occasion' pardon the expression and he still paid for the service .... now who took advantage of who?

Jimmy Bottlehead

kmick wrote: »

Yeah most people would go for a look - its like a tourist attraction in Berlin. You better ask him before you dump him. If he did then by all means it warrants a dumping.

In fairness, it doesn't really... he's the same guy now as he was when they met. I'd at least give him a chance to explain and see if they could work through it.

easyontheeye

in fairness, it proves hes honest if he can be open about things like that....isnt that a good thing?

LegacyUser

Yes, he specifically said he was with prostitutes. He said it just matter of factly. I just feel so disgusted by him and I can't even look at him. The images in my head are unreal...what did he do with them, how many times, what was she wearing, was she better then me, will he do it again..

seaner

troll?

Jimmy Bottlehead

Doubt its a troll.

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yes, he specifically said he was with prostitutes. He said it just matter of factly. I just feel so disgusted by him and I can't even look at him. The images in my head are unreal...what did he do with them, how many times, what was she wearing, was she better then me, will he do it again..

What did you say? And whats happened since?

LegacyUser

Beerlao wrote: »

i have and most of my mates have. it's all part of growing up

I asked for kind words not gloating.

It sounds like you still have a lot of growing up to do.

You've probably never even had sex little boy, please don't post in my post again.

LegacyUser

Dragan wrote: »

Wow, i can see this thread going completely pear-shaped so i will just say this....it doens't matter what other people feel OP.

If it's getting to you this much then take some time to think about it and see if it is something you can get over.

For what it is worth, i can't really see where you are coming from. If any girl i was going out with told me she had paid for sex at some point it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex, they don't have to and probably wouldn't anyway. Girls go on holiday and have fun and maybe score or even sleep with men but they don't go to a specific district to leer at men and pay them. It really is different.

I have nothing against prostitution per-se, just the image of my bf with one makes me sick.

Quality

HI OP

I dont really see it as much of a problem. Everybody has a past and whatever he has done or whoever he has done in the past, should stay in the past. As long as you were not in a relationship together at the time.

I admire his honesty with you and he obviously doesnt see it as much of an issue.

Having a sexual history is normal for people in a relationship. Of course it is going to be difficult for you to imagine him with someone else, so maybe its best not to be talked about.



Best of Luck.

LegacyUser

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

Doubt its a troll.



What did you say? And whats happened since?

I didn't really say anything, I felt ill and kinda clammed up. We were in his car parked up listening to music, smoking and talking and I just asked him to take me home. I'm sure he knew I was upset but I didn't actually say I was. My mind was racing too much and needed time to let the information sink in. I just feel terrible.

c - 13

Fair enough he traded up money for sex but this was all before he met you. As someone else pointed out he's still the same person as when he met you.

Personally I dont think its very fair to drop him over something like this. I mean if thats the case should all the participants in a relationship have to fill out a questionaire to let their partner decide if theres anything in their past that they dont like ?

Everyone does stuff in their life that other people dont agree with its as simple as that, and youve found one in his you dont agree with.

cowzerp

He was single and horny, whats the problem? would you rather he was a rapist or something, once he got no diseases and does not cheat on you with hookers i dont see the problem.

would it be any different if he had slept with loads of free sluts?

if he's good to you then leave it alone..

the GALL

yea... what was she wearing

but seriously some things(past) are not ment to be said he could have been a bit more tactful
have the conversation with him once say everything what you've got to say and never bring it up again or it will just ruin whats left of your relationship

Sherifu

c - 13 wrote: »

Did he specifically say that he had sex with the prostitutes ? Its entirely possible he just went to the red light districts for a look and didnt do anything.

This is what I was thinking too before the OP cleared it up.

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yes, he specifically said he was with prostitutes. He said it just matter of factly. I just feel so disgusted by him and I can't even look at him. The images in my head are unreal...what did he do with them, how many times, what was she wearing, was she better then me, will he do it again..

I'm not sure there's a future for you with him then.

Oryx

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yes, he specifically said he was with prostitutes. He said it just matter of factly. I just feel so disgusted by him and I can't even look at him. The images in my head are unreal...what did he do with them, how many times, what was she wearing, was she better then me, will he do it again..

Then would you feel the same if he told you he had a really slutty girlfriend in the past? Where does your problem lie, is it the paying for it or the sleaze of the situation?

Everyone has a past, just not everyone is as open about it. Most women in your situation actually arent in your situation, because their other halves have never told what they got up to.

There really are only two ways to deal with this, either find a way to move past this, or leave him. But remember that no matter who you meet in the future they will always have some skeletons in the closet that you might have to deal with someday.

Jimmy Bottlehead

You just have to realise:

1) If he was that much into a prostitute / another girl, why would he give it up to be with you.

2) he's happy with YOU. And he's with YOU for many, many reasons.

3) everybody makes mistakes. Including you. Yes, you have. You might not have slept with a gigolo, but I'm sure there is stuff you've done that he'd prefer you hadn't.

4) **** all people have a totally clean past. As stated above, will you now ask every possible boyfriend their entire past, and then judge whether to go out with them? And how well would your past stand up to scrutiny?

5) Its done and over with. A long time ago. You cannot change it - thinking and obsessing about it will not un-do it. Nothing will.

LaVidaLoca

alright.

That said I think the fact that this was done abroad does say something about it.

Lots of guys (particularly Irish ones) would be far more tempted to sleep with a prostitute in a foreign country than to do it at home. I would not judge too harshly the thousands of Irish guys who've gone nuts as soon as hitting the tarmac at Bangkok airport.

Whereas somehow the idea of picking up some skanky Dublin heroin addict in Adidas by the Grand Canal seems far far more sordid. If it was a 'lads on holiday' type thing and that's it, I wouldnt worry about it (though I know its probably hard not to).

As far as the poster who said it shows an 'inherent disrespect for women' to sleep with a prostitute, I think thats very 1980's rhetoric. Most men at all periods of history and the present fancy the chances of a casual encounter here and there a great deal more than most women do. Hence prostitution's existence as 'the oldest profession' - there's money to be made out of that gap. I dont see where disrespecting women comes in to it. Do you think that gay men that have casual encounters in toilets disrespect each other? No they're simply having casual fun. Unfortunately, for hetero men, it's pretty hard to have that kind of casual fun, cause most women aren't up for it. So you pay.

Now that doesnt mean it's nice - it's not. But plenty of really, nice, decent, kind, Irish guys that you'd take home to your mammy have slept with prostitutes while abroad. And you know why? Usually becuase the fact that they are nice kind and decent means they probably have difficulty convincing women to sleep with them when they're at home.

aye

Sickandsad wrote: »

I asked my friend in work and he said I’d be hard pushed to find
A guy who hasn’t or wouldn’t sh*g a prostitute so I really should just suck it up kinda thing. This did not help. Thanks.

thats not true, i havent and wouldnt shag a protitute, and i know plenty of guys that havent also.
i also know guys who have done it and regretted it completely.
you cant paint all guys the same.

Beerlao wrote: »

i have and most of my mates have. it's all part of growing up

no its not part of it.

easyontheeye wrote: »

in fairness, it proves hes honest if he can be open about things like that....isnt that a good thing?

exactly, he could have lied here. instead he admitted it.

kmick wrote: »

Yeah most people would go for a look - its like a tourist attraction in Berlin. You better ask him before you dump him. If he did then by all means it warrants a dumping.

why does it warrant a dumping? he did it before he was with you, and he didnt lie about it!

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yes, he specifically said he was with prostitutes. He said it just matter of factly. I just feel so disgusted by him and I can't even look at him. The images in my head are unreal...what did he do with them, how many times, what was she wearing, was she better then me, will he do it again..

were the images in the head the same when you thought about him and an ex? are they worse cos they are prostitutes?

it seems to me this only happens when he is away, and probably with the rugby crowd, so it's possible he was pressuried into it.

if you cant look at him, take a break and think about it.
but remember OP no one is perfect and everyone has a past.
it should matter more how you two get on, then some silly mistakes he made.

Seraphina

as a female, i personally would find it a big turn off if i found out my boyfriend had been with not one, but several prostitutes.

i can understand the curiosity and trying it once, but repeated visits? i guess its just that i would associate it with the kind of guys who use women, and regard them as sex objects. i wouldn't associate it with the kind of guy who has a respectful attitude towards women.

the thing is, its so 'normal' these days, sure all the guys do it, get over it, blah blah blah. i know two different people who have paid for sex, and i guess the attitude of one of them really turned me against the idea. he was all about describing the sordid details, two at a time, i did this and that to them etc. and it made me quite insecure as my boyfriend at the time seemed really jealous of the whole thing, and it made me feel inadequate.

i know these are obviously personal reasons for disliking the situation, but i also have a problem with the whole, you don't know who you're shagging, where she's been, did she use condoms every time and what i could be exposed to in the situation

from a moral standpoint, sex trafficking is a huge business these days, and yeah there are a lot of women in it for the money they can make, but at the same time, there's a huge proportion of women forced into it, for whatever reason, especially anywhere prostitution is illegal (everywhere except amsterdam i think?) and as a woman, that prospect disturbs me (i.e. that he potentially paid a pimp to rape a woman)

i know its all a little extreme, and theoretically i don't have a problem with prostitution per se, but in reality, the idea of being with a guy who has paid for sex a number of times while on 'lads' holidays or whatever, makes me feel a bit sick too, so i don't really blame you.

at the end of the day, its your decision. if you just can't look at him without thinking of it in disgust, well there's really no point in continuing the relationship. **** whatever anyone thinks about it being the norm and every guy has done it (i call bull**** on that completely, thats just what losers/sleazes who have to pay for sex say to make themselves feel better) in this case, its really your opinion that matters.

everyone in saying 'it's in the past' yea, *just* before they met, and if he's done it before several times, he's likely to be the kind of guy to do it again (not saying he'll do it while he's with you though)

look at it this way though, at least he was honest with you. which means he probably quite likes you, and didn't want this to come up in an awkward situation in future and potentially cause a huge row.

Nevyn

So is it a moral disagreement you have with him about paying for sex ?
Or is it that as he did, he doesn't respect women ?
Or is it the idea he might do so while in a relationship with you ?
Or is it the worry of what he may have come in contact with from a health point of view ?

Dragan

OP , have you confirmed with your fella that he actually paid to sleep with these women?

As pointed out, in your initial post it just says he commented on the area's?

Why is that in the majority of my PI response these days i have advocated that the person talk to their partner/friend/landlord/monkey?

Susannahmia

Dragan wrote: »

OP , have you confirmed with your fella that he actually paid to sleep with these women?

As pointed out, in your initial post it just says he commented on the area's?

Why is that in the majority of my PI response these days i have advocated that the person talk to their partner/friend/landlord/monkey?

She says after that post that he did definitely sleep with several prostitutes.

irish_bob

i think its important to keep in mind that men are in a more difficult position than women when it comes to being desperete for sex
a woman can choose to bring someone home for sex whenever they feel like it
a man may be simply too ugly to get a woman and thus be left with no choice but to pay for it

i know this isnt relative to the OP,s situation but i think in general its important to see the broader picture

Susannahmia

irish_bob wrote: »

i think its important to keep in mind that men are in a more difficult position than women when it comes to being desperete for sex
a woman can choose to bring someone home for sex whenever they feel like it
a man may be simply too ugly to get a woman and thus be left with no choice but to pay for it

i know this isnt relative to the OP,s situation but i think in general its important to see the broader picture

Thats bs, an ugly man is as well able to bring home a minger as any ugly woman. I dont get the whole desperate for sex thing either, I would rather go without rather than lowering my standards, its about self respect.

Anyway, back on topic, to the op I hope things work out, whatever choice you decide to make. It is a really horrible situation to be in.

How Strange

irish_bob wrote: »

i think its important to keep in mind that men are in a more difficult position than women when it comes to being desperete for sex
a woman can choose to bring someone home for sex whenever they feel like it
a man may be simply too ugly to get a woman and thus be left with no choice but to pay for it

i know this isnt relative to the OP,s situation but i think in general its important to see the broader picture

FFS, that's the lamest argument I've ever heard. 'Oh, I'm ugly, that's why I pay prostitutes for sex.' :rolleyes:

OP, I think someone said this already but this is is down to you. Do you consider it a deal breaker? If so then it's curtains for your relationship.
However, give yourself a little time to think it over.

cowzerp

Women can get sex on tap if they want it, men cant, fact.
unless they pay for it!
He paid for it when he wanted some, now he is with the op and i assume does not need to pay for it anymore, what is the problem??
Is he a bad boyfriend

papillon66

Sickandsad wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I posted earlier on about this situation but it must’ve gotten deleted. I’m very upset about it so I’ll keep it brief.
My boyfriend of 6 months who I’m really crazy about last night after dinner mentioned that he’s been with a few
Prostitutes. We were talking about traveling and swapping holiday stories when he said, really casually that the
Red light district in Paris is way less seedy than any other one he’s been too. He was in Paris with all his mates
For the rugby just before he met me. He said Amsterdam is by far the sleaziest. I just sat there in shock. I had no
Idea that he’d been to a prostitute before never mind several!!

I know it’s technically none of my business as it was before he met me but I feel cut up over this and don’t want him
Anywhere near me. I keep picturing him banging some girl in a seedy red room then regailing his frinds with all the
Sordid details in the pub later on….yeah lads, I did this to her and that to her..

Please help me deal with this, girls would this bother you? Whether it’s right to let it affect me or wrong, the fact is it’s
Tearing me apart so any kind words will be appreciated. I asked my friend in work and he said I’d be hard pushed to find
A guy who hasn’t or wouldn’t sh*g a prostitute so I really should just suck it up kinda thing. This did not help. Thanks.

WEll let see it this way-

1-He told you about it... so he trusts you enough to share his experiences with you...which means you are his friend and that is really good-He sees you not only like a gf but also as a friend...I believe it's something important for him-

2-At least he did it before he met you...the fact that he told you it's maybe his way to say I had my experiences I'm not ashamed of them and I want to share it with you...Can be also that he went to those places but didn't do a thing but just talks as he did-Kinda release the fantaisy-

3-He was in a trip abroad,went to those famous places that everybody is talking about(men obviously:D)...He's a cool guy!
I'm sure many guys don't say anything if they went(or go) to have good time in they're hometown but are they angels because they don't tell you they went to prostitute instead? Not sure.

Jimmy Bottlehead

How Strange wrote: »

FFS, that's the lamest argument I've ever heard. 'Oh, I'm ugly, that's why I pay prostitutes for sex.' :rolleyes:

In fairness, its a very very valid argument. I know of one guy (don't like the chap, and he IS terribly ugly, and don't bother correcting me on it) who did just that... no-one would sleep with him so he paid for it. Its sad, and slightly pathetic, but it happens and its a large part of the reason prostitution exists.

echosound

I'd agree with most of what seraphina said, so no point repeating her points. I'd have an adverse reaction if someone I was with told me that they had paid prostitutes for sex a number of times in their past too - while previous partners, particularly slutty ex-girlfriends or even one-night-stands wouldn't bother me at all, the idea of using prostitutes is a step too far for me for a number of reasons.

I'd be viewing that person in a completely different light, ie their outlook on life would be too different from mine for us to work as a couple, IYKWIM? I'd lose respect for anyone who told me they had used a prostitute. A) that they had to pay for sex in the first place and that they hold that view of women that they are a commodity to be bought and sold and used.

And FWIW I know plenty of guys who have never and would never consider using a prostitute, and that's not me being naieve - I have chatted with a good few fellas over the years about sexual history in the course of general citchat and conversations, and while there are some that would not be fazed by using prostitutes, most wouldn't consider it for a number of reasons, so it's not just "part of growing up".

OP if you really can't get your head around this (and personally speaking I doubt I would either) it might be time to think about moving on. I know it's all "in the past" but to me it would cast a pall on his character, which I wouldn't be comfortable with.

the GALL

A bloke goes out with his mate's on a piss up weekend and gets himself a brazzer so what he wasn't with you at the time. Im sure if you digged a little deeper you'd find other thing's he's done that you wouldn't agree with. It's not about been ugly, it's no string sex, the only thing he's guilty of is been a f**kin eejit for admiting to it in the first place.
I wonder if you told him about your first sexual encounter would he have the same reaction.

uoluol

I must be in the minority - but I honestly would have no problem if my boyfriend told me he had in the past had safe sex with prostitutes. To me, it's just sex with payment. No different than having a few ex girlfriends. I would be more upset if he was currently using prostitutes.

But, you are obviously upset by this revelation, and it would be a good idea to talk it over with him. You need to clear the air.

Bendihorse

If i ever found out a man i was seeing had slept with a hooker it would be a sackable offence straight off. Its not about disrespecting wimmen or anything like that but something about paying for sex does not sit well with me and makes me think less of any man. I would be hesitant of seeing a guy that ever shagged the 'town bike' too. I would hope that any guy i would date or see would have higher standards for himself than that because it just reeks of desperation imo. Not to mention the thoughts of diseases etc...

newestUser

I'd also agree with what Seraphina says.

I don't think that it's necessarily a deal-breaker, lots of people have done things in the past that would make them potentially unattractive (ie drug habit, jail, whatever). You just have to weigh things up and see if the good in the guy balances out the bad.

I would suspect that he told you this because he feels a bit guilty about it, and wants to be upfront about it. I think he's an idiot for telling you. He should have done the std tests, vowed never to do something stupid like that again, and let it rest.

I don't buy the argument that it's easier for women to get sex than men, so men are entitled to pay for it, so don't criticise me woman because you don't feel my pain blahblahblah. If you have a brass neck and a willingness to face rejection over and over and over and over again, you could get your hole in some meat market quick enough. If you were prepared to do the online thing, you could put a bit of time into trying to get your bit off a string of women at once (as cynical as that is). Going to a prostitute is just lazy. Yeah, it's easier for women to get laid than men. Doesn't justify potentially paying a pimp to rape someone, as Seraphina says.

therecklessone

Sickandsad wrote: »

Please help me deal with this

What do you expect from this thread?

It sounds like you want people to tell you its alright to feel the way you do, but at the end of the day that hardly matters, does it? The fact is you're not comfortable with the fact he's been with a hooker, nothing is going to change that. It also sounds like he doesn't see what he's done as "wrong", so you need to ask yourself is it worth continuing on with the relationship.

cowzerp

I agree, you either are in to him regardless of his past or your not.

therecklessone

Seraphina wrote: »

especially anywhere prostitution is illegal (everywhere except amsterdam i think?)

You need to get out more.

Hungary
Germany
Czech Republic
New Zealand
Holland
Australia (some states)
US (some states)
Japan (some sex acts)
Turkey
Hong Kong

All allow legal prostitution in some form. I imagine that's not an exhaustive list.

Pub07

therecklessone wrote: »

You need to get out more.

Hungary
Germany
Czech Republic
New Zealand
Holland
Australia (some states)
US (some states)
Japan (some sex acts)
Turkey
Hong Kong

All allow legal prostitution in some form. I imagine that's not an exhaustive list.

Well now I know what countries to hit on my next round the world trip, cheers.

Mazeire

What is the problem here exactly? Is it a moral objection like that he is using women? Or do you just have the opinion that all prostitutes are sub human disease ridden whores and now your boyfriend is lower is your estimation for having slept with them?

Realistically its just another woman that he had sex with he just paid her for it. I really do not know why he told you though. I mean he surely knows you well enough after 8 months to know what will and what will not upset you, and would have known this would get to you. So you have either been playing a good game for the last month or he wants to upset you.

red_ice

Before i start i would like to say i am impartial on the matter of prostitution. I wouldnt touch a hooker myself, but i think its alright for the more socially challenged people out there. You need to ask yourself would you prefare he rode some random slapper in paris/amsterdam and told you or would you prefare he told you about what he did with his ex girlfriends or other one night stand girls? Why?

Ive been told by some of my mates that its actually a very clean environment that they 'work' in. Showers after every 'job' and you have to use barrier contraception or its not going to happen. There are plastic mats under the sheets, both of which get changed every session also. So think about it. Most girls are on the pill or have the implant etc. The chances of getting an STD imo are greater with a random slapper you met in a bar and took home for a swift one.

Is the random one night stand scenario more acceptable to you? Prostitutes undergo tests for STDs on a regular basis. Its a law of the game in the legal areas afaik.

Again, i am impartial on the subject of prostitution but fair play to yer man for telling you about it.

LegacyUser

a lot of my friends and even my family have used prostitutes when on holidays so itys nce that he told you and not that big a deal

on the otherhand i completely understand where you are coming from its a bit gross
but that seems to be our old frashioned values

Redpunto

DId you see yourself long-term with this guy? If you did then I think you need to find a way past it. Do you have a problem with prostitution as a moral issue even if your bf had not gone to one? Myself Id be gutted if my bf told me this but becuase we will be together till one of us pops off the planet then I think id have to get over it.

rick_fantastic

personally, ive never felt the need to pay for sex outright! i go to amsterdam about 4 times a year with my mates for a smoke up and have never once had sex with a hooker. all of my mates have, sure some of them have done the same hooker at the same time!! some of my mates get hookers in town after a night out if they dont score in the clubs...

but in all fairness, in nearly 99.99% of cases, males end up paying for sex in one form or the other!

for example -

taxi to restaurant - 15euro
dinner for two with one bottle of wine - 55euro
pub for a drink - 20euro
taxi home - 15euro

total cost of getting sex IF YOUR LUCKY = 105euro

sure you can get 2 hookers in amsterdam for that kind of money and none of the hassle of small talk blah blah blah....

every girl ive gone out with when the conversation came up were the same - id never touch you again if you had been with a hooker.

lesson to learn guys - women dont find this amusing or attractive - keep your mouth shut!

to the OP - if your worried about your other half comparing you to a prostitute, was she better etc etc - yeah she probably was.... its her job!

Wagon

I'm lazy so i flew over the last 4 pages pretty quickly, apologies if I'm repeating people.

1. Whether you like it or not, it WAS in the past and as many have pointed out he didn't know you then. Maybe you expected him to look into the future to see how it upset you?

2. I know quite a few lads who have done it with a prostitute so while I'm not making excuses, it's not uncommon and is something you might have to get used to.

3. I've been with girls who've slept around in the past and who've had one night stands with quite a few guys. Is that any different? The only difference is that they got it for free and were drunk in the process. I certainly don't like that fact of life but it is one.

4. Nobody's past is clean. Especially in this day and age things are more acceptable and available. Can you honestly look at yourself and say "I've done nothing shameful?" If you can, then you're a saint or a liar (both turn offs )

5. He TOLD you. Bloody hell, would you rather he kept this from you? Would you rather that he was that afraid to tell you of this? He obviously (and i mean this) thinks you're open minded enough to accept this.

I can see where your coming from. It's never a nice thought to imagine your other half with someone else (be it a prostitute, ex girlfriend, family dog etc...) But unfortunately, we all have too look past this in the people we love and accept that they are also human, have the same human urges and have obtained them is less desirable ways. This isn't his problem, this is yours and no amount of fighting and bitching at the chap will solve it.