Mixed Religion

willowthewisp · 21-03-2008 05:38PM #1

Hi my fianceé is Presbeterian and Im catholic.
We hope to marry in her church with some kind of a mixed service, (I know this is goina be contentious), anyone had any previous experiences like this?

shopaholic · 21-03-2008 09:31PM

I'm catholic, husband is COI. We got married in COI with a catholic priest and a minister carrying out the cermony. only requirement was that minister did the "wedding" part and the pair of us sat down with a copy of a catholic and COI cermony and chose the bits we liked.

First thing is have a chat with your minister/priest - hopefully they're willing to play ball - if they're not go elsewhere - my parish priest was akward hence us marrying in COI. We didn't have communion as that would have ruled out half the guests. We had first reading, second reading, gospel, marriage, catholic blessing, prayer of the newly married couple along with the lighting of the candles. We did print out everything in our booklet tho so everyone could follow - including printing out the our father (we used the coi version).

If you decide to marry outside the catholic church and you want them to recognise it then you've to get a special dispensation from the arch bishop (you write a letter explaining your plans to marry, then meet your parish priest and fill in forms and then wait a few months to hear you've gotten it then after you get married you fill in a form they send you so that they can add it to their records)

If you reckon the wedding will be contentious then sit down with your fiancee and work out exactly what the pair of you want before you involve any family members!

There's a great book 'A Wedding of Your Own' that might help you plan your cermony.
Enjoy your planning!

willowthewisp · 21-03-2008 09:39PM

shopaholic wrote: »

I'm catholic, husband is COI. We got married in COI with a catholic priest and a minister carrying out the cermony. only requirement was that minister did the "wedding" part and the pair of us sat down with a copy of a catholic and COI cermony and chose the bits we liked.

First thing is have a chat with your minister/priest - hopefully they're willing to play ball - if they're not go elsewhere - my parish priest was akward hence us marrying in COI. We didn't have communion as that would have ruled out half the guests. We had first reading, second reading, gospel, marriage, catholic blessing, prayer of the newly married couple along with the lighting of the candles. We did print out everything in our booklet tho so everyone could follow - including printing out the our father (we used the coi version).

If you decide to marry outside the catholic church and you want them to recognise it then you've to get a special dispensation from the arch bishop (you write a letter explaining your plans to marry, then meet your parish priest and fill in forms and then wait a few months to hear you've gotten it then after you get married you fill in a form they send you so that they can add it to their records)

If you reckon the wedding will be contentious then sit down with your fiancee and work out exactly what the pair of you want before you involve any family members!

There's a great book 'A Wedding of Your Own' that might help you plan your cermony.
Enjoy your planning!

Thanks for your reply.
When I say contentious, its not on her behalf , but rather keeping everyone happy.
Its the first time we really have had to face up to this you know.

Again Thanks

Grawns · 26-03-2008 06:39PM

Interesting.. so are you planning to raise children as presbeterians or Catholics? I'm guessing as presbeterians otherwise you wouldn't be marrying in her church. As I am an extremely lapsed Catholic ( really a committed atheist) and my fiancee was raised sort of baptist ( and he's a believer), we found the unitarian church to be great.

Mixed Religion

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