Embarrassing Moments

boardinwork · 20-03-2008 11:42AM

Collie D wrote: »

That edit really doesn't do justice to the whole story. ****ing hell man, I think I'd have left home.

HA HA thought i might have gone into too much detail :rolleyes:

Was tough for a while alright. Nothing was ever said!

I just remembered another bad one after i wrote that.

I was seeing this girl years ago and went back to hers one night after a club. She was living at home but parents were away. Anyway that morning we had a bit of fun and afterwards she made me breakfast as i stayed in bed. He two little terrier jobs came in to scab some food off me in bed and i brushed them away. Half an hour later i got a little rumble in my stomach and went to the jax. Walked down the hall to the house jax in my boxers, thinking there was nobody other that the two of us were there. Had a nice barry in the jax and when i opened the door i was greeted by the girl and her older brother both standing in front of me at the top of the stairs with a condom at their feet!

One of the little bastard dogs had picked it up with their mouth thinking it was food and spat it out on the stairs once he realised it wasnt!!!

I had to pick it up, apologise profusely and pray to god that neither of them went near that toilet!!! :pac:

Setun · 20-03-2008 01:33PM

looptheloop wrote: »

Being at a funeral when I was 17 and was just about to go up to the deceased's mother to offer up a few words when a bird came outa nowhere and shit all over my face just as i shook her hand..:eek:

That's officially one of the funniest things I've read on boards.

20-03-2008 01:54PM

My ma once walked in on me having sex with my girlfriend at the time in my room. She just left straight away & me and my girlfriend split over it because she was afraid to come back to my house! lol

Unpossible · 20-03-2008 01:56PM

walking through a shopping centre with my ex gf, we split up in one of the shops and when we were leaving she was reading something, so i went up and cheerfully slapped her on the arse and said it was time to leave.......wasn't her

I have had two of those moments. Once in paris with my then girlfriend, it was just after christmas and she was wearing a long black duffel coat for the first time. We were walking in a crowded square and I lost track of her for a second. She had taught me the french word for smurfs which I thought was hillarious and used to say it while grabbing her ass. So when I stopped to cross the street thought she was next to me and grabbed her ass saying the word. I looked again to see a man wearing the samy style coat as her, the look on his face was both fear and confusion. I then spotted my g/f accross the street waiting for me. I went over quickly, thankfully she didn't see what happened and I never mentioned it again.

The second time was not so bad, it was in a pirated DVD shop in china with my wife. She had been standing next to me going through DVDs before leaving to another part of the store. Another woman had taken up her spot and I had been too engrossed in looking for stuff that I didn't notice. I was holding 2 DVDs saying how they looked interesting and still going through the pile (showing the DVDs to the person next to me). I turned by chance to see why my wife didn't reply when I noticed the woman next to me wasn't her

Trojan911 · 20-03-2008 02:28PM

Just one other that happened about two years ago....

I had nipped over to a fabric shop in Cork City & was standing in the queue of about seven people when a female voice shrieked over to me. It was a friend I hadn't seen for a while & she was standing at the counter with a large amount of this gold coloured silky fabric on the desk & two assistants were with her.

"Oh Hi" I called back "How are you? long time no see" "Getting the curtains lined then?" I said nodding towards the gold silky fabric...

Silence followed...... I heard a snigger behind me. "No, it's my wedding dress" she replied dryly....

"Oh, right, it looks great"..... Paid for my purchase & legged it...

ExoduS 18.11 · 20-03-2008 02:46PM

Me and girlfriend at the time were getting down town lester brown when my new phone in my pocket, was unlocked. Last dialed number : Ma. Green twice and 20 seconds later i could hear this voice out of my pocket as things got a bit loud. Picked up phone to discover the call was on for 50 seconds.... o dear.

javaboy · 20-03-2008 04:36PM

RedXIV wrote: »

walking through a shopping centre with my ex gf, we split up in one of the shops and when we were leaving she was reading something, so i went up and cheerfully slapped her on the arse and said it was time to leave.......wasn't her

I'm confused. You were out shopping with your ex-gf. Then you split up. So she's now your ex-ex-girlfriend. And still you think it's cool to go up and smack her on the bee-hind? I could be misunderestimating this story though

javaboy · 20-03-2008 04:39PM

Trojan911 wrote: »

Just one other that happened about two years ago....

I had nipped over to a fabric shop in Cork City & was standing in the queue of about seven people when a female voice shrieked over to me. It was a friend I hadn't seen for a while & she was standing at the counter with a large amount of this gold coloured silky fabric on the desk & two assistants were with her.

"Oh Hi" I called back "How are you? long time no see" "Getting the curtains lined then?" I said nodding towards the gold silky fabric...

Silence followed...... I heard a snigger behind me. "No, it's my wedding dress" she replied dryly....

"Oh, right, it looks great"..... Paid for my purchase & legged it...

Silly boy. The correct thing to do was say, "Well at least you're being honest and not wearing white!" Then tip the girls at the counter a dirty/saucy wink and leave.

Glitteronsnow · 20-03-2008 05:16PM

My Dad used to drive around playing "Lets Talk About Sex" by Salt n Peppa at top volume in the old Renault Sceanic. That and anything by Tupac. I used to pull up my hood and slump down as low as possible into my seat.

I accidentally left my pill and an empty pack of flavoured condoms in a drawer in the kitchen and my Dad found them. Oh the shame.

Collie D · 20-03-2008 05:20PM

Glitteronsnow wrote: »

I accidentally left my pill and an empty pack of flavoured condoms in a drawer in the kitchen and my Dad found them. Oh the shame.

Shame indeed. You should be giving head without :pac:

Glitteronsnow · 20-03-2008 05:28PM

Collie D wrote: »

Shame indeed. You should be giving head without :pac:

:rolleyes: It was the only packet they had left in the centra ....

boardinwork · 20-03-2008 06:02PM

The lad who was shat on by a bird at the funeral is winning this hands down i think :pac:

Loopy · 20-03-2008 06:13PM

boardinwork wrote: »

The lad who was shat on by a bird at the funeral is winning this hands down i think :pac:

Lassie actually:p

Was the most embarrassing thing ever, and I was with a big gang of girls so of course they all nearly died laughing which didn't help. That bird hadn't had a dump in a long time I reckon cos it went everywhere, in my mouth, eyes every bloody where.. The poor mother was balling her eyes out and then shitface here offered her condolances and she just balled even louder..

AckwelFoley · 20-03-2008 08:21PM

i drove to Giberalter last sept and made the grave mistake of stopping in Fuengirola in Malaga.
Got an unmerciful dose of poisning down there. Im not familiar with the term but i was bedridden when i jumped out of the bed and it came out both ends of me.. front and back.. all at once.

Its rather impossible to clean brown stains from tile grout.

That was one the other was jumping out of the 3 storey of a Galway hotel after i sobered up and rea;ised the woman i was with could kill me if she tried to mount me... she went to the bathroom to powder her nose, i couldnt go out the door because shed see me.. so i went out the bedroom window.. screw up my ankle and missed 6 weeks of the rugby season.

Big girls do give good head tho

Riddle101 · 20-03-2008 10:21PM

I have some stories about me and some about some people i know

-Hppened to a girl(Blonde) in my old school last year. We were doing something for St Patricks Day and the girl asked if the Irish Flag was Green White and Orange.

-The happened to Guy in my school two years ago. We were sitting in class and the guy walked up to the front of the room to throw something into the bin, he then turned around only to show off to the whole class his boner. The whole class burst out laughing and the guy was almost crying(seriously) Was a little mean to be laughing but we couldn't help it.

-This happened to me. Was waiting on my friend and decided to scare him, so i waited behind a wall for him to come my way. Needless to say I jumped out and shouted at the top of my lungs at a garda who was right in front of him. Garda looked at me and asked me some questions, then he decided to search me because that's what a lot of cops do in my area.

-Was a kid when this happened but i was doing knick knacks with my friends and i knocked on the door of this old women. started to run out of the garden when i saw my Ma walking towards me looking very cross and then the old women answered the door so there was no where to run

-Was walking home from school with some mates of mine when one of my mates grabbed me messing with me, was struggling to get off him and suddenly went smack into a lamp post as i did so.

-Was walking in New York with my family through a croweded street so i could hardly see anything. Saw this weird guy walking past me and as i glanced back at him i walked into a lamp post, of course it was New York so no one really noticed

I love New York Lawls

useful_contacts · 20-03-2008 10:35PM

Deleted User wrote: »

"Oh Jebus!" Yes. Jebus.

Baaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha

Save me Jebus!!

Lol

AckwelFoley · 20-03-2008 10:41PM

-Hppened to a girl(Blonde) in my old school last year. We were doing something for St Patricks Day and the girl asked if the Irish Flag was Green White and Orange

You'd be suprised the amount of people (blonde or not) that think its green white and gold :rolleyes:

Grown adults i might add...

eroo · 20-03-2008 11:24PM

looptheloop wrote: »

Being at a funeral when I was 17 and was just about to go up to the deceased's mother to offer up a few words when a bird came outa nowhere and shit all over my face just as i shook her hand..:eek:

eoin_s wrote: »

I hate saying "lol", but that really did make me laugh out loud.

Daddio wrote: »

That's officially one of the funniest things I've read on boards.

I agree!:D

Bros123 · 20-03-2008 11:47PM

Glitteronsnow wrote: »

:rolleyes: It was the only packet they had left in the centra ....

....for the way we live today.

AckwelFoley · 20-03-2008 11:48PM

Bros123 wrote: »

....for the way we live today.

..BA BOOM.

xOxSinéadxOx · 20-03-2008 11:56PM

I was walking down these stone steps from a shopping centre before and i just fell right down in front of this woman and she screamed at the top of her lungs. If that wasn't bad enough i got up and fell again, and then i got up and fell AGAIN! I honestly don't know what happened! It's like my legs turned to jelly. Everyone was laughing at me and none of my friends would help me either cos they were laughing so hard!

CCCP^ · 21-03-2008 12:02AM

One night out with some mates, decided to do some class As...well, in the pub anyway and one of the lads passes them out "these are fairly ****ing strong so don't go mad right?" Except I had just thrown 3 of them into my ****ing gob. I thought ah **** it, what's the worst that could happen?

Later that night in a nightclub, I was talking absolute ****ing ****e to people I didn't know. One of our friends is from Vietnam originally, I was trying to find him out in the smoking area and somehow ran into some other Asian people and I was flying out of my head at this stage, said something like "JESUS THANG THERE'S MORE OF YE, DID YE COME OVER ON THE BOAT ASWELL?!"

Then got talking to some footballer who I didn't know, his on a county team apparently. I was asking him did he play, and I goes to him "that's it boy, get to the top, then tear it down from the inside out."

Also went to one mate "here hold my pint, going for a piss" then proceded to walk behind the bar, open a tall standing fridge packed with beer and start trying to take a piss. Bar had about 20 people around it and 2 very confused bartenders one of whom started screaming. I screamed back at the girl "GET OUT OF THE ****ING TIOLETS!" At which point I was carted outside to the roars of laughter.

And on top of all of this, I had somehow gone cross-eyed from the drugs.

KamiKazi · 21-03-2008 12:32AM

xOxSinéadxOx wrote: »

I was walking down these stone steps from a shopping centre before and i just fell right down in front of this woman and she screamed at the top of her lungs. If that wasn't bad enough i got up and fell again, and then i got up and fell AGAIN! I honestly don't know what happened! It's like my legs turned to jelly. Everyone was laughing at me and none of my friends would help me either cos they were laughing so hard!

mwahahahahaa

Lola123 · 21-03-2008 02:58AM

I got caught riding my ex boyf by both my parents. To make matters worse, they didn't even know I had a boyfriend, I was only 18 and their only daughter. It was about 8 years ago, but i think the folks thought that at 18, I was all sweet and innocent..... little did they know

:D
I still have to leave the room if there's a sex scene on tv or something... too many reminders!! CRINGE!!!!!!

Dont be at yourself · 21-03-2008 05:41AM

I was 17, and staying with my then girlfriend and her family in a mobile-home thingy by the beach in Wexford. The parents had brought her little brother and sister out for food, so we had the place to ourselves.

Earlier that day, we had bought a squeezy bottle of chocolate sauce (the kind you put on icecream, not body chocolate!). Anyway, with the place to ourselves, we got down to business in the middle of the sitting room. We were both naked, and I was covered in chocolate sauce - which, it turns out, is actually quite filling, sickeningly sweet, gets everywhere and is in no way suitable for such usage.

That was all well and good, until without warning, the mobile home filled with the lights from her parents' car's headlgihts. My girlfriend threw on her dress, and I made a bolt, stark bollock naked save for chocolate syrup, straight for the jacks.

That turned out to be my downfall. The bedroom door was equal distance, and I had clothes in there. I was trapped naked in the bathroom, and with the family now congregated in the living room, I couldn't leave. I tidied myself up as best I could in the bathroom, before attempting to make a dash from the bathroom to the bedroom directly opposite. Unfortunately, the bedroom door stuck for just a fraction, and the whole family were treated to a view of a naked, hairy, chocolaty me shoulder barging a flimsy wooden door.

Another time, I was walking to college when I saw a friend of my girlfriend's up ahead. I ran up to her, grabbed her shoulders, shook her violently and screamed in her ear - you know, just to scare her a little for comedic effect.

Turns out, it wasn't her friend - it was a complete stranger.

boy_wonder · 21-03-2008 09:28AM

CCCP^ wrote: »

One night out with some mates, decided to do some class As...well, in the pub anyway and one of the lads passes them out "these are fairly ****ing strong so don't go mad right?" Except I had just thrown 3 of them into my ****ing gob. I thought ah **** it, what's the worst that could happen?

Later that night in a nightclub, I was talking absolute ****ing ****e to people I didn't know. One of our friends is from Vietnam originally, I was trying to find him out in the smoking area and somehow ran into some other Asian people and I was flying out of my head at this stage, said something like "JESUS THANG THERE'S MORE OF YE, DID YE COME OVER ON THE BOAT ASWELL?!"

Then got talking to some footballer who I didn't know, his on a county team apparently. I was asking him did he play, and I goes to him "that's it boy, get to the top, then tear it down from the inside out."

Also went to one mate "here hold my pint, going for a piss" then proceded to walk behind the bar, open a tall standing fridge packed with beer and start trying to take a piss. Bar had about 20 people around it and 2 very confused bartenders one of whom started screaming. I screamed back at the girl "GET OUT OF THE ****ING TIOLETS!" At which point I was carted outside to the roars of laughter.

And on top of all of this, I had somehow gone cross-eyed from the drugs.

I'd say the most embarrassing part of all that was taking the class a's in the first place!!

The Walsho · 21-03-2008 09:46PM

boy_wonder wrote: »

I'd say the most embarrassing part of all that was taking the class a's in the first place!!

I seriously doubt that.
That was a hilarious story though, as was the girl who fell down twice today, reminded me of this : http://youtube.com/watch?v=bjI-DTphH2A

CCCP^ · 21-03-2008 11:17PM

Ah **** it, I look back and it's something to laugh about. I know people who've shat themselves while taking Buzzers, so it could have been worse.

CantGetNoSleep · 22-03-2008 02:42AM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

:eek:

Jaysus..filling the shítter of an Interconinental jet with a mega dump and the flushing mechanism failing pales into insignificance to that one.

Had to stare at "out of service" tapes wrapped around the door for the rest of the flight:o

Does a jacks on the plane not just fling the log of cack straight out of the sh*tter into the air? Kinda like a train?

You could have killed someone, would certainly be a terrible way to go

CantGetNoSleep · 22-03-2008 02:54AM

boardinwork wrote: »

My worst moment was being caught riding an arm band by my mother when i was about 15. Pretty embarrassing. Anybody got anything worse?

Id really like to hear this story

Work in a swimming pool you meet a lot of perverts, it gets lifeguards through their day.

Our resident dirty f*cker was amazed none of us had tried this. He had perfected this, you use a more expensive armband, the type that rolls up the arm rather than your conventional armband. He says it feels just like a fun box, calls it the speedo position

Embarrassing Moments

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