US satellite with toxic payload to be shot down over Ireland!!!

Damomanye · 15-02-2008 02:52PM #1

i nearly choked on my cornflakes this morning when i read this...

The Pentagon is planning to shoot down a satellite orbiting over Ireland with a missile from a US navy warship

We have modified three SM-3 missiles aboard Aegis ships to strike the satellite," said James E Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.He predicts a fairly high chance - as much as 80 percent - of hitting the satellite, which will be about 150 miles up when the shot is fired.

"We'll take one shot and assess," he said. "This is the first time we've used a tactical missile to engage a spacecraft."

Astronomy enthusiasts say that debris could land anywhere from Co Cork to Co Donegal. Satellite trackers say that the 5,000lb craft, about the size of a small bus, travels on an orbit of 58.5 degrees that takes it over most of the Earth from Ireland and the tip of Scotland to Patagonia at the southern end of Latin America.

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/article3434509.ece

Excuse me while build a bunker..

Archeron · 15-02-2008 02:53PM

I'm going to catch all the pieces in a net and sell them to the Chinese.

I knew my chance to be an evil Bond style villain would come eventually.

humanji · 15-02-2008 02:54PM

My understanding of it is that the satellite is going to fall in Ireland anyway. If they shoot it down, they can at least try and get it to land somewhere safe.

Anyway, there's nothing to be worried about. From all the films I've seen, the only thing that can happen to you is that'll you'll get superhuman powers. So it's not all bad.

gerTheGreat · 15-02-2008 02:58PM

I suspect the toxic story is BS. That said, you have to wonder what the f*ck is on that satellite if they are willing to claim that they're blowing up toxic waste over Ireland.

Maybe it's revenge for the Shannon protests... (Are they still going???)

kaimera · 15-02-2008 03:01PM

i nearly choked on my cornflakes this morning when i read this...

It's lunchtime now. Thanks for the early warning :rolleyes:

Stercus Accidit · 15-02-2008 03:01PM

Pfft junk

It could land in Australia too, actually anywhere in the world, its in a degrading orbit, it could land any where any way, shooting it over Ireland as you put it doesn't mean the object travelling at x thousand miles an hour will fall here, I assume they are aiming to the big ocean right beside us.

Oh and the toxic fuel? Yeah deadly if you expose yourself to concentrated amounts for a long period of time...

Agamemnon · 15-02-2008 03:02PM

I hope it lands on Ryan Turbidy.

As soon as it's shot down, I'm going to start selling bits of metal on eBay as "Genuine Satellite Debris". I'll make millions from gullible gobshites.

The Queen · 15-02-2008 03:05PM

humanji wrote: »

Anyway, there's nothing to be worried about. From all the films I've seen, the only thing that can happen to you is that'll you'll get superhuman powers. So it's not all bad.

FINALLY! I've been waiting for my chance to get the superpowers I deserve!! Excellent.

Maybe the US wanna take us out? They say oh it's harmless, but when they shoot it BAM! No more Ireland. :eek:

monkeyfudge · 15-02-2008 03:05PM

Isn't this how the Cloverfield monster was created?

FunkZ · 15-02-2008 03:05PM

Yis know what this mean, we're gonna have to go to war with them.

They were gonna find out about the three litres of oil in my shed sooner or later anyway...

Damomanye · 15-02-2008 03:07PM

kaimera wrote: »

It's lunchtime now. Thanks for the early warning :rolleyes:

Hehe, hey im a college student..what do ye expect!:D

ScumLord · 15-02-2008 03:18PM

Damomanye wrote: »

"We'll take one shot and assess," he said. "This is the first time we've used a tactical missile to engage a spacecraft."

Spacecraft?!! The Aliens are coming this "satellite" story is just a cover up so we won't freak out when all hell breaks lose above our heads. The first thing you need to do is panic, followed by hording. They always tell you to stay calm but that's another part of they're conspiracy! They want to to sit at home while they get all the spaghettios and leave us with nothing but custard.

Sleepy · 15-02-2008 03:19PM

Was listening to a piece about this on the radio this morning. They had on some 'expert' who reckoned the story was a cover for something as the satelite (and it's toxic chemicals) would burn up on re-entry anyway.

Probably a smokescreen to test their ability to shoot down low-flying satelites. I can imagine there'd be a significant military advantage in being able to take out an enemy's satelites.

MarkR · 15-02-2008 03:24PM

They've previously said that it was impossible until much closer to the burnup time to calculate where it's going to come down.

Here's a quote from the guardian from an hour ago.

"At present, we cannot predict the entry impact area, which could occur in any region on the Earth's surface between 58.5 degrees north and 58.5 degrees south latitudes," she added. That area includes most of the inhabited world.

Basically it is over Ireland. And every other country in the planet. Because it;s in orbit.

Note to self : Get strong umbrella.

SimpleSam06 · 15-02-2008 03:24PM

The Queen wrote: »

FINALLY! I've been waiting for my chance to get the superpowers I deserve!! Excellent.

Sohd that! Its zombie time! Get the chainsaws, I'll hotwire someone's jeep and we'll get bizzah. Bags I the hurley with the kitchen implements attached!

alan4cult · 15-02-2008 03:26PM

Some dude has got a picture here http://www.galaxypix.com/
There is a thing flashing in the sky every night for the last few weeks.
Am I just an idiot or is that the satellite?

RuailleBuaille · 15-02-2008 03:27PM

LOL @ FunkZ and ScumLord

Time for the tinfoil hats people!

Hagar · 15-02-2008 03:30PM

Damomanye wrote: »

James E Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.He predicts a fairly high chance - as much as 80 percent - of hitting the satellite, which will be about 150 miles up when the shot is fired.

So when it misses we have not only a satellite falling on us but a missile as well...

Wait a minute... I'm in France, it's not coming for me. Hard luck lads.

Voodu Child · 15-02-2008 03:33PM

agamemnon wrote: »

I hope it lands on Ryan Turbidy.

I lolled

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 15-02-2008 03:36PM

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Isn't this how the Cloverfield monster was created?

SPOLIERS, MAN, SPOILERS!!!

missingtime · 15-02-2008 03:37PM

They'll probably miss and hit the Sky satellite by mistake.

Mweelrea · 15-02-2008 03:51PM

Ifit lands on Tubirdy,Pat Kenny or Gay byrne i'll be delighted

But the chances of it hiting Ireland are slim

SimpleSam06 · 15-02-2008 04:04PM

Can I still hotwire someones jeep?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 15-02-2008 04:10PM

Mr.S wrote: »

i bet they miss..

And the missile arcs gracefully back to earth destroying the one and only exit route out of Ireland...

humberklog · 15-02-2008 04:15PM

The pikies will have some job loading that into the back of a hiace. And as for burning the copper out of it.

robinph · 15-02-2008 04:18PM

They are really streching the truth with that headline. Yes, it is over Ireland, once every 90 minutes or so, and yes they are going to try and shoot it down, but the chances of what is left of it landing anywhere near Ireland are miniscule.

El Reg

FunkZ · 15-02-2008 04:21PM

I'm gonna rebuild it and go into orbit. Anyone coming?

Lemming · 15-02-2008 04:23PM

missingtime wrote: »

They'll probably miss and hit the Sky satellite by mistake.

And the problem here is? ...

humberklog · 15-02-2008 04:24PM

You tell that to paddy joe with the tv ariel antenna on his head.

robinph wrote: »

They are really streching the truth with that headline. Yes, it is over Ireland, once every 90 minutes or so, and yes they are going to try and shoot it down, but the chances of what is left of it landing anywhere near Ireland are miniscule.

El Reg

Mweelrea · 15-02-2008 04:25PM

FunkZ wrote: »

I'm gonna rebuild it and go into orbit. Anyone coming?

How much will you charge? lol

humberklog · 15-02-2008 04:26PM

Wrapped in tin foil. For protection from the depleted uranium.

US satellite with toxic payload to be shot down over Ireland!!!

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