Crying ok for women but moodiness not ok for men??

vorbis · 17-01-2008 04:04PM #1

I know its not the case for all men, but some (including me) can in stressful situations get worked up. Obviously this isn't a good thing but I view it myself as a way to vent (as long as you're not getting angry at other people.

Case in point, I was alte for meeting up with my gf to go to a play last night. It was completely my fault. I was finding myself getting worked up over worrying that we would be too late. Saying things like "Fu*k, I should have left work earlier, when is this bus going to arrive, bollix, bollix.

My gf was at me to calm down and that she didn't like when I acted like this. Now this is a fair point but why is the female equivalent allowed? My gf in a similar situation when under stress might start crying and worrying about the situation. I would then be expected to console her??

Not to sound heartless but crying a lot of the time is essentially venting. Society wise, her method of venting is acceptable but mine is considered childish. Tbh both could be considered childish if you wanted them to.

RonMexico · 17-01-2008 04:05PM

Try crying and see how she likes that.

Genghiz Cohen · 17-01-2008 04:09PM

Blubber like a baby. Fall down in the middle of the road crying your lungs out.
That'll learn her!

listermint · 17-01-2008 04:10PM

that would be legend.

i can picture it now:eek::eek:

beanyb · 17-01-2008 04:10PM

Maybe your venting was coming across as pretty aggressive. It's fairly possible if you were swearing a lot. There's a difference between being moody and being aggressive!

kittensoft1984 · 17-01-2008 04:10PM

I would prefer if the guy cried to be honest.

I can get very emotional sometimes and i would want my bf to console me.

on the other hand if he was upset and crying i would console him.

i think you have to have freedom in a relationship otherwise it means thats one part of the couple will feel frustrated.

Short answer - i think its ok for guys to cry!

Dragan · 17-01-2008 04:10PM

Your a dude, the majority of your urges and mood swings are based off test or adrenaline.

Punch something if you feel bad.

In all seriousness it probably has less to do with the sexes and maybe more to do with the fact that in any relationship normally one person sees the other as being calm and better able to deal with stress.

Maybe this is how she see's you and it was suprising to her to see you get worked up like that?

Hellm0 · 17-01-2008 04:20PM

I can honestly say I've never cried due to being late for a play. Crying for me is something that is done when under the most extreme of emotional circumstances. Or when I'm alone watching the movie AI. That film gets me every time.

the dee · 17-01-2008 04:25PM

I think men get moody in a scarier way than women do. A moody man can seem agressive, angry, snappy and argumentative. A crying woman is soothable and huggable. Not the same thing. Maybe guys should be less confrontational when upset.*

*The above post contains sweeping gender-based generalisations and is not true for all peoples at all times.

pebbles21 · 17-01-2008 04:27PM

well said^^^^who cares if your late for a play you had no car go for a few pints instead if your late:)

connundrum · 17-01-2008 04:33PM

Dragan wrote: »

Punch something if you feel bad.

Nooo /strokes badly bruised knuckles

OP, welcome to the world. Men who cry are ghey. Women who don't cry are lesbos.

ScumLord · 17-01-2008 04:43PM

I don't see what the problem is? That's just how men deal with stress. Just tell her it's not directed at her and you'd never even dream of taking it out on her but you have to vent. Tell her to join in if she likes, it's fun. I usually end up in fits of laughter because I over do the angry side and start taking my anger out on whatever inanimate object is at hand.

Unfortunately I lost one oven door, a bed, and will have to replaster a wall in my rented accommodation because of my "venting". If anyone knows a good scrap yard where I can pick up an oven door or have a cheap oven/hob combo thing for sale let me know.

Reku · 17-01-2008 09:08PM

the dee wrote: »

I think men get moody in a scarier way than women do. A moody man can seem agressive, angry, snappy and argumentative. A crying woman is soothable and huggable. Not the same thing. Maybe guys should be less confrontational when upset.*

*The above post contains sweeping gender-based generalisations and is not true for all peoples at all times.

A crying woman is often a scary thing for most blokes since often it's a case of no matter what we say or do somehow we'll come away the bad guy...:(
Then comes the woman being aggressive, angry, snappy and argumentative...

Sam Vimes · 17-01-2008 09:31PM

women are what's known in the scientific community as "batsh!t crazy". they can be emotional. we're expected to be logical. also, telepathic. i love the "guess what's wrong with me" game

vorbis · 17-01-2008 09:46PM

I wouldn't go as far as calling them crazy but I definetly feel a restriction sometimes in that a guy has to be "normal" wherea a woman's eh eh eh "eccentricities"

are to be tolerated.

My gf for instance had a few months last year where she was going through some stressful situations regarding jobs. By the thrid time she was crying about something, I was getting feelings of annoyance. Still though I was hardly going to turn around and say "I don't like when you cry".

Naos · 17-01-2008 10:26PM

Women are crazy.

End of.

Reku · 18-01-2008 09:10AM

Commander Vimes wrote: »

women are what's known in the scientific community as "batsh!t crazy". they can be emotional. we're expected to be logical. also, telepathic. i love the "guess what's wrong with me" game

Don't forget: "WELLL!!! If you don't know what you did wrong (even if it is just some little slight I really only imagined because I feel like venting on someone) then I'm not going to tell you!:mad:".:D

Crying ok for women but moodiness not ok for men??

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