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Suicide

245678

Comments

  • #32
    Terry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,073 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    ztoical wrote: »
    here here. I think everyone should sit and talk to someone at least ever 5 years or so - I keep getting letters from the health department telling me I have to get a cervical cancer check and a breast cancer check and heap of other checks regularly, why not a mental health check up? Whats wrong with sitting down with someone for 30mins ever 5 years or so and going "hmm how am I doing?"

    There shouldn't be a stigma attached to mental issues - this attitude that its weak or selfish is silly - "I have had **** things happen to me so you should just grin and bear it" - blah
    The stigma attached to mental illness really should not exist.

    For me, it doesn't.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055054940

    I really couldn't give a crap what people think of me and my mental health.


  • #33
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Yep, I was at a party the other night and there was a guy telling all who'd listen about his current residence - St Pat's. I found it most refreshing.


  • #34
    Kazobel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Yes, I've tried it a few times too I was in a very sad place in my life at the time and just didn't care, all I wanted was the constant sadness to end :( to the person that said it's a selfish act it's anything but selfish, it takes a long time to get to the point where you consider it and all that time you're hiding all these devestating emotions just so you don't worry others around you which in itself becomes part of the problem that leads to the act. Luckly things are better now and it's been a long time :)


  • #35
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,369 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    There are various experienced voluntary bodies who are involved in counselling and suicide prevention. In schools, for example, where a suicide has taken place, the counsellors offer to speak with anyone who might feel the need to talk about what has happened. In some cases, without any counselling, there are copy-cat suicides at the same schools. Unfortunately, there are some principals who don't authorise a visit from these counsellors. One principal pointed to a cert on their office wall saying that they had the necessary counselling qualification, and that no outside assistance was necessary. The principal didn't seem to realise that some students wouldn't wish to discuss anything with them, let alone personal problems.


  • #36
    davyjose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    GDM wrote: »
    But is it not better to spare yourself the pain of the illness and also spare your family from having to watch you waste away in more and more pain knowing there's nothing they can do?

    Yeah but it would still be a muddaf*cker knowing that, either way, it's the end of the road, so why not, y'know, go for it.
    Actually I wonder how often it happens, people just end it for reasons such as that - probably more than we think.


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  • #37
    Terry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,073 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Dudess wrote: »
    Yep, I was at a party the other night and there was a guy telling all who'd listen about his current residence - St Pat's. I found it most refreshing.
    You know, sometimes a serious thread slips through.

    ejmaztec wrote: »
    There are various experienced voluntary bodies who are involved in counselling and suicide prevention. In schools, for example, where a suicide has taken place, the counsellors offer to speak with anyone who might feel the need to talk about what has happened. In some cases, without any counselling, there are copy-cat suicides at the same schools. Unfortunately, there are some principals who don't authorise a visit from these counsellors. One principal pointed to a cert on their office wall saying that they had the necessary counselling qualification, and that no outside assistance was necessary. The principal didn't seem to realise that some students wouldn't wish to discuss anything with them, let alone personal problems.

    I'd agree with that.

    I remember the school nun trying to do councelling sessions with some of us.

    I'm fairly certain that I would have been more comfortable talking to someone who I didn't really know, rather than that nosey old bitch. RIP Camilla the nun.

    Edit: in fairness, she was just trying to help. The 14 year old me didn't see it that way though.


  • #38
    ztoical
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,788 ✭✭✭ztoical


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    There are various experienced voluntary bodies who are involved in counselling and suicide prevention. In schools, for example, where a suicide has taken place, the counsellors offer to speak with anyone who might feel the need to talk about what has happened. In some cases, without any counselling, there are copy-cat suicides at the same schools. Unfortunately, there are some principals who don't authorise a visit from these counsellors. One principal pointed to a cert on their office wall saying that they had the necessary counselling qualification, and that no outside assistance was necessary. The principal didn't seem to realise that some students wouldn't wish to discuss anything with them, let alone personal problems.

    Its a shame thou that they only came to offer counselling after someone had already committed suicide. I don't think people should have to wait until they are feeling that low to seek help - seeing a counsellor shouldn't be any different to getting your eyes checked or your teeth


  • #39
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Terry wrote: »
    You know, sometimes a serious thread slips through.
    Can't pm you. I don't understand... bit slow today (due to returning to work after many, many booze-ups :()


  • #40
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,369 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    ztoical wrote: »
    Its a shame thou that they only came to offer counselling after someone had already committed suicide. I don't think people should have to wait until they are feeling that low to seek help - seeing a counsellor shouldn't be any different to getting your eyes checked or your teeth

    The counsellors are always available - the problem is getting someone to listen to them so that they can get involved in listening and talking to the students. I think that some principals feel insulted, or that someone is trying to encroach on their territory, or they think the whole idea pointless in their "It's never going to here!" frame of mind.

    It's about time some of them put their pride aside and woke up to the reality of what might happen. Nobody knows what is ticking away in anybody's head.


  • #41
    jdivision
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,260 ✭✭✭jdivision


    imred wrote: »
    But that miserable person surely has better options than to kill themselves. My other original point was that there is rarely ever no hope at all. With help their situation and depression could be turned around. Its just a pity that help or alternatives are not made obvious to some people in need.

    On the other hand in my opinion I do not feel that I have the sole right to my life. Other people are also invested in, dependent and effected by my life. Why would I have the right to make others miserable just to end my own suffering.


    What you don't seem to realise is that people go into such a black space that they feel that everybody else would be better off without them. Therefore the act is not selfish. I go f--king spare in general when I hear people come over all "such a selfish act" so please don't think I'm picking on you specifically but basically if you haven't been there don't judge anybody else. It's one of the reasons why we have such a high suicide rate. People think it's just melancholy. "ah come on snap out of it," is the standard reply. Oh wait, Dorothy clicked her shoes and I'm fine again. Actually no, it's not that simple.


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  • #42
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    Ah is getting a bit too emo these days.

    Next we will get the whole 'I cut myself to make sure I can still feel' crap.
    Quick, stick on some NIN, and grab the scalpal and hike up those black skirts...


  • #43
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    Oh, and no. I have never thought about suicide.

    Even looking at threads like this only makes me want to pluck my eyes from head and stab a bic biro through the empty sockets.
    You know, just so I know Im still alive like.


  • #44
    Lux23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    I have been in this situation and I did attempt suicide, the last attempt was over two years ago. And I can't even begin to explain what it feels like as I really can't comprehend what I felt at the time. It is completely alien for me to think that i once wanted to end my life, Ive got through so much in my life that I always feel now that I can survive anything. So looking back I think I was selfish but I can't say whats its like for other people. Not everyone's depression is the same and not everyone can cope as well as I have in my life.


  • #45
    Terry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,073 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    WhiteWashMan wrote: »
    Ah is getting a bit too emo these days.

    Next we will get the whole 'I cut myself to make sure I can still feel' crap.
    Quick, stick on some NIN, and grab the scalpal and hike up those black skirts...
    That's what happens when you put women in charge.


  • #46
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,608 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    When I separated from my wife I came so close that it still frightens me.

    Luckily enough help was at the end of a phone call.


  • #47
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    i get why someone would think that its selfish but thats mostly frustration and anger at not being allowed to have helped the person. mostly i think that its horrifically sad that someone would feel so horrible and so alone in their sadness that they would think that suicide is the ohly way out for them. that their world is so dark that they just want to escape from it. its easy to judge and call them selfish but until you experience that mental blackness and despair then its unfair to do so.


  • #48
    eirebhoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,013 ✭✭✭✭eirebhoy


    Jesus I'm absolutely shocked at that poll. Never for a second considered it. I know loads of people that have killed themselves though. My friends father killed himself a few days ago.


  • #49
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    maple wrote: »
    its easy to judge and call them selfish but until you experience that mental blackness and despair then its unfair to do so.

    BLACK!

    Black like the endless space that leads to the chasm of the clams!

    Where are we sleeping tonight, Fathers grave ?

    Oh yes, what shall we do with Father, Mother?...fold him like a ticket, and poke him in a hole!

    With the Black! Black! Black!! Black!! Like the shadows that lie in wait for us!!


  • #50
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,608 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    maple wrote: »
    i get why someone would think that its selfish but thats mostly frustration and anger at not being allowed to have helped the person. mostly i think that its horrifically sad that someone would feel so horrible and so alone in their sadness that they would think that suicide is the ohly way out for them. that their world is so dark that they just want to escape from it. its easy to judge and call them selfish but until you experience that mental blackness and despair then its unfair to do so.


    You sound like you've looked into the abyss yourself.

    Your description of it is very accurate.

    Your in a very dark place in your mind, its horrible and easy to slip-slide away.


  • #51
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,920 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Yes. In the past.

    But I'm glad I didn't go through with it, as my life did get better afterwards. That and I have a huge fear of death.


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  • #52
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    WhiteWashMan wrote: »
    BLACK!

    Black like the endless space that leads to the chasm of the clams!

    Where are we sleeping tonight, Fathers grave ?

    Oh yes, what shall we do with Father, Mother?...fold him like a ticket, and poke him in a hole!

    With the Black! Black! Black!! Black!! Like the shadows that lie in wait for us!!

    LOL. **hands WWM a bic biro**


  • #53
    tech77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    jdivision wrote: »
    What you don't seem to realise is that people go into such a black space that they feel that everybody else would be better off without them. Therefore the act is not selfish. I go f--king spare in general when I hear people come over all "such a selfish act" so please don't think I'm picking on you specifically but basically if you haven't been there don't judge anybody else. It's one of the reasons why we have such a high suicide rate. People think it's just melancholy. "ah come on snap out of it," is the standard reply. Oh wait, Dorothy clicked her shoes and I'm fine again. Actually no, it's not that simple.

    +1.
    Good post,
    I hate when people dismiss it glibly as selfish.
    As you say people don't really understand the myriad emotions and thoughts that a depressed person can have.
    That's the whole point, they think their loved ones would be better off without them and they feel the future is hopeless.

    Granted a small percentage of suicides may be motivated by vindictiveness toward someone and these are selfish acts.
    But that's the minority i'm sure.
    Suicide is a lot of things, mostly tragic but "selfish" would be way down the list (if on the list at all).


  • #54
    Davidius
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,893 ✭✭✭Davidius


    Never even thought about it. In fact, when I hear 'suicide' I think of Bob-ombs.


  • #55
    ciano1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,157 ✭✭✭ciano1


    suicide is painless??


  • #56
    speaktofrank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 595 ✭✭✭speaktofrank


    ciano1 wrote: »
    suicide is painless??

    Is that a question? I am a little shocked at the results of the poll so far, the majority of people seem to have considered it at some stage in their life. I will never forget the words of my English teacher in school. 'Just in case any of you here are considerig it, remember that life is beautiful and always worth living.' Don't think he knows how much that helped me.


  • #57
    Intothesea
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 540 ✭✭✭Intothesea


    True and it's also a constant battle for all but
    the most breeze-block headed of folks. Suicidal
    thoughts indicate the extinguishment of hope,
    but how you might get there is a matter of your
    exact personality, your personal relationships and
    your history: an unguessable recipe for someone
    you don't know intimately.

    Erring on the side of caution by reaching
    into the thoughts and feelings or just making
    yourself available in that way for someone who
    seems to be receeding is one good way to proceed
    I think (coupled with a dainty frogmarch to some
    suitable professionals if required :)).

    Have considered it while coming to terms
    with incurable introversion. Could never have
    acted on it though: too much of a girl's blouse
    for pain, plus I want to make good on the gift
    my parents gave in good faith to me.


  • #58
    davyjose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    Intothesea wrote: »
    True and it's also a constant battle for all but
    the most breeze-block headed of folks.

    Boll ox! It might be a constant battle for some people, or it might be a very rare consideration for all but "the most breeze-block headed of folks", but it's no way a constant battle for most people.


  • #59
    Intothesea
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 540 ✭✭✭Intothesea


    Way to save the thread from unmitigated emo-ness.

    I think we both need to edit our posts, mine to include
    an IMO, and yours to include 'in my experience and
    perception'.

    :p


  • #60
    Intothesea
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 540 ✭✭✭Intothesea


    Sorry, double post.


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  • #61
    Shield
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Help & Feedback Category Moderators Posts: 9,893 CMod ✭✭✭✭Shield


    I've been to a few.

    One, a hanging, just minutes too late. His body was warm and still twitching. We tried and tried but it was too late. The look on his deep red face is something I'll never forget.

    I've had to deliver the messages. I had to tell a woman that her husband wasn't coming home tonight. He lay down in front of a train. Her screams were the most horrible thing I've ever heard. I just shattered her world. The baby started crying upstairs.

    I urge anyone out there who is considering suicide as an option to seek help immediately.


This discussion has been closed.
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