Boooorrrrrrreeeeeeeeedddddddd

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 01:10PM #1

Completely and utterly bored sh1teless here lads, someone amuse me

I need

a) A good story or joke
b) A brainteaser
c) Someone to shout abuse at me and call me names
d) Someone to talk dirty to me....
e) A simple go f**k yourself might even do the trick..

aidan_walsh · 14-12-2007 01:11PM

e)

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 01:11PM

aidan_walsh wrote: »

e)

Thanks dude, really appreciate you taking the time out...

Pighead · 14-12-2007 01:13PM

Hmmm Feelgood eh. Your username is an anagram of Gee Flood which reminds me of the wonderful sex Pighead had with your mother last weekend. Lovely woman, lovely gee.

Mr. Presentable · 14-12-2007 01:17PM

Pighead wrote: »

Hmmm Feelgood eh. Your username is an anagram of Gee Flood which reminds me of the wonderful sex Pighead had with your mother last weekend. Lovely woman, lovely gee.

Aaah. Ham in a kebab. Tasty

The Novacastrian · 14-12-2007 01:18PM

muck, mud, silage...other dirty things

assh*le, D*ckhead, w*nker

OR

try this, great for boredom, but you may have seen it before

http://www.teclasap.com.br/sapserver/puzzle/

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 01:19PM

And Pighead your name is an anagram of Heap Dig which I'm pretty sure is some sort of farming term somewhere in the west of Ireland...

and also "Head" which your sister most gracefully offered to me last evening, and "gip" which proceeded to shoot over your sisters face after a rather amateur head session..

I'll tell me ma you were asking for her..

The Dudette · 14-12-2007 01:25PM

My mate used to pick me up after work in a green Clio....one evening, it was p*ssing rain, dull and harder to see without my glasses and a green Clio pulled up right where she normally would.

I see a girl in the driver seat, open the door and climb into the back of the car with two heavy shopping bags....

It was not my mate, the girl looked terrified and so I proceeded to get scramble out of the car mumbling my apologies....

Then had to wait remotely near the poor girl, for my friend to arrive.

Oh the mortification!

arybvtcw0eolkf · 14-12-2007 01:30PM

Feelgood wrote: »

Completely and utterly bored sh1teless here lads, someone amuse me

I need

a) A good story or joke
b) A brainteaser
c) Someone to shout abuse at me and call me names
d) Someone to talk dirty to me....
e) A simple go f**k yourself might even do the trick..

Well I was bored the other day and so went out and bought myself a new Sony 42" Bravia LCD TV and a Sony home threatre system. In a few minutes I'm going to rock the house with another deadly movie.

If your REALLY bored I can PM you all the latest text jokes about a certain dead celebrity junkie, but their a little sick.

ScumLord · 14-12-2007 01:51PM

One of our local postmen is an ex-legionnaire, he's supposed to be a hard core, black belt, super fit military dude. I've been wondering how seriously he takes he's job as a postman and would he deliver a package at any costs. I need a handful of terrorists/mercenaries to try and hijack he's post van to see what he's reaction would be. Unless you can think of a better way to get a reaction out of him?

arybvtcw0eolkf · 14-12-2007 01:54PM

ScumLord wrote: »

One of our local postmen is an ex-legionnaire, he's supposed to be a hard core, black belt, super fit military dude.

Apart from the postman bit I'm all of the above.

Would you hire me to do a hit on him?.

(Oh, I'm ex-FCA if thats any good

)

togster · 14-12-2007 01:56PM

ScumLord wrote: »

One of our local postmen is an ex-legionnaire, he's supposed to be a hard core, black belt, super fit military dude. I've been wondering how seriously he takes he's job as a postman and would he deliver a package at any costs. I need a handful of terrorists/mercenaries to try and hijack he's post van to see what he's reaction would be. Unless you can think of a better way to get a reaction out of him?

Stoned?

ScumLord · 14-12-2007 01:56PM

Mairt wrote: »

Apart from the postman bit I'm all of the above.

Would you hire me to do a hit on him?.

(Oh, I'm ex-FCA if thats any good )

Excellent. Would be a youth vs experience battle royal. Will you work for peanuts.

My moneys still on the legionnaire there supposed to be truly hardcore.

And he's a postman.

togster · 14-12-2007 01:57PM

Mairt wrote: »

Apart from the postman bit I'm all of the above.

Would you hire me to do a hit on him?.

(Oh, I'm ex-FCA if thats any good )

Im sure the job requires a bit of discretion...:rolleyes:

marcsignal · 14-12-2007 01:58PM

Here's a joke for you OP

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling , and the 86-year-old said ,"Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.
One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang , bang'. Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said , "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

arybvtcw0eolkf · 14-12-2007 02:05PM

togster wrote: »

Im sure the job requires a bit of discretion...:rolleyes:

What?.

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 02:08PM

The Dudette wrote: »

My mate used to pick me up after work in a green Clio....one evening, it was p*ssing rain, dull and harder to see without my glasses and a green Clio pulled up right where she normally would.

I see a girl in the driver seat, open the door and climb into the back of the car with two heavy shopping bags....

It was not my mate, the girl looked terrified and so I proceeded to get scramble out of the car mumbling my apologies....

Then had to wait remotely near the poor girl, for my friend to arrive.

Oh the mortification!

So what your saying is you have a habit of getting into cars with complete strangers??..

PM me for my Reg Number....

RosieJoe · 14-12-2007 02:10PM

Buy yourself a copy of Hello magazine, free Pearl Necklace with every issue this month

pinksoir · 14-12-2007 02:13PM

simply this:

http://www.fugly.com/media/view.php?cat=DOWNLOADS&id=709

classic time waster.

philstar · 14-12-2007 02:15PM

marcsignal wrote: »

Here's a joke for you OP

The 86-year-old said , "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

aaahh i get it now, took me a while

its a naughty joke;) (beaver tee hee)

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 02:24PM

RosieJoe wrote: »

Buy yourself a copy of Hello magazine, free Pearl Necklace with every issue this month

Hmmmmm free sex toys??.

RxQueen · 14-12-2007 02:34PM

:mad: i have be giving this quiz to win and ipod

how many four letters words or more can you make out of the word TOPFLIGHT?

i can only get to, im simple help greatly needed!!

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 02:44PM

emo!! wrote: »

:mad: i have be giving this quiz to win and ipod

how many four letters words or more can you make out of the word TOPFLIGHT?

i can only get to, im simple help greatly needed!!

FILO
FLIP
FLIT
FLOG
FLOP
FOIL
GIFT
GILT
GOLF
GLOP
HILT
HOLT
LIFT
LOFT
LOTH
LOTI
PHOT
PITH
PLOT
THIO
TILT
TOFT
TOIL
TOIT
TOPH
TOPI

Next.............:)

marcsignal · 14-12-2007 02:46PM

emo!! wrote: »

:mad: i have be giving this quiz to win and ipod

how many four letters words or more can you make out of the word TOPFLIGHT?

i can only get to, im simple help greatly needed!!

FLIGHT
FIGHT
TILT
FLOG
TIGHT
PLIGHT
PLOT

thats all i can find for now

RxQueen · 14-12-2007 02:47PM

im impressed! how both this one i cant do this either

Maurice and gary are working here 7 years marurice is older than gary , when maurice is twice his current age , gary will be 51, what age is gary and maurice now??

RxQueen · 14-12-2007 02:47PM

marcsignal wrote: »

FLIGHT
FIGHT
TILT
FLOG
TIGHT
PLIGHT
PLOT

thats all i can find for now

thanks:D

14-12-2007 02:48PM

Oh oh oh!

How many fingers am I holding up?

marcsignal · 14-12-2007 02:48PM

Feelgood wrote: »

FILO
FLIP
FLIT
FLOG
FLOP
FOIL
GIFT
GILT
GOLF
GLOP
HILT
HOLT
LIFT
LOFT
LOTH
LOTI
PHOT
PITH
PLOT
THIO
TILT
TOFT
TOIL
TOIT
TOPH
TOPI

Next.............:)

F*CK ME ?? I feel like burning my previous post now

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 02:48PM

emo!! wrote: »

:mad: i have be giving this quiz to win and ipod

how many four letters words or more can you make out of the word TOPFLIGHT?

i can only get to, im simple help greatly needed!!

4 or more.....

FIGHT
FILTH
FLIGHT
LIGHT
LITHO
PILOT
PLIGHT
THIOL
TIGHT
TILTH

That was fun!.

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 02:49PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh oh oh!

How many fingers am I holding up?

TWO - as you are taking option "E" - Go Fu*k yourself....:D

Feelgood · 14-12-2007 02:51PM

Feelgood wrote: »

4 or more.....

LITHO

That was fun!.

Note this is refering to making prints by lithography, and not describing and Eastern Europeans...

Boooorrrrrrreeeeeeeeedddddddd

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