What would you uninvent?

Pighead · 19-09-2007 10:33AM #1

If you met a good looking 2 foot tall semi naked nymph on the way home from your Wednesday night Champions League pints tonight and she offered you the chance to uninvent something, what would you choose?

Pighead would immediately choose Computer Games. No doubt about it. The thoughts of the fruit of my loins turning into a computer gamer nerdlinger sends shivers down my spine. Luckily Pighead was far too cool and hip to ever succumb to the "lure" of Dungeons and Dragons or lan parties.

Hopefully any kid of mine would also be cool enough not to hang around with geeks or dorks but just to be on the safe side an uninvention of PC Games would put my worst held fears to bed once and for all.

And with my future sons coolness assured it would also put an end to a recurring dream Pigheads been having. It goes something like this

Pighead: Hey there Zolar, how are you buddy. Looking sharp buddy, where are you off to?

Zolar: I'm heading into town dearest papa.

Pighead: Good lad, now be careful and stay clear of them fat chicks and ugly birds now won't you.

Zolar: Don't worry dad, there's not goping to be any girls where i'm going.

Pighead(getting worried now): Eh whys that son, where are you going?
Zolar: Boards Beers

At this point Pighead has a massive heart attack and dies with a single tear streaming down his perfectly chiselled handsome face.

So what would you uninvent?

Degsy · 19-09-2007 10:55AM

Tracksuits.

jay_haych · 19-09-2007 10:55AM

pornography. a bane upon society and mans #1 addiction. yet primarily unchecked.
i know so many people who are hooked on it yet its rarely seen as a problem
from www.xxxchurch.com

Pornography Industry Statistics
Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US
Adult Videos $20.0 billion
Escort Services $11.0 billion
Magazines $7.5 billion
Sex Clubs $5.0 billion
Phone Sex $4.5 billion
Cable & Pay Per View $2.5 billion
Internet $2.5 billion
CD-ROM $1.5 billion
Novelties $1.0 billion
Other $1.5 billion

Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball, and basketball franchises.
US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, & NBC (6.2 billion).
Child pornography generates $3 billion annually.

Internet Porn Statistics
Pornographic Website's 4.2 million (12% of total website's)
Pornographic Pages 372 million
Daily Pornographic Search Engine Requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
Daily Pornographics Emails 2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
Avg. Daily Pornographic Emails/User 4.5 per internet user
Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads)
Daily Gnutella "child pornography" requests 116 thousand
Website's offering illegal child pornography 100 thousand
Sexual solicitations of youth made in chat rooms 89%
Youths who received sexual solicitation 20%
Worldwide visitors to pornographic web sites 72 million annually

Children's Exposure to Pornography
Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography 11 years old
Largest Consumer of Internet Pornography 12-17 age group
15-17 year olds having multiple hardcore exposures 80%
8-16 year olds having viewed porn online 90% (most while doing homework)
7-17 year olds who would freely give out home address 29%
7-17 year olds who would freely give out email addresses 14%
Children's characters linked to thousands of porn links 26 (including Pokeman and Action Man)

Adult Internet Porn Statistics
Men admitting to accessing porn at work 20%
US adults who regularly visit internet porn sites 40 million
Promise Keepers men who viewed porn in the last week 53%
Christians who say porn is a major problem in the home 47%
Adults admitting to internet sexual addiction 10%
Breakdown of male/female visitors to porn sites 72% male - 28% female

Women & Pornography
13% of Women admit to accessing porn at work.
70% of women keep their cyber activities secret.
17% of all women struggle with pornography addiction.
Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs.
Women favor chat rooms 2X's more than men.
1 out of 3 visitors to adult website's are women.
9.4 million women access adult website's each month.

zuutroy · 19-09-2007 10:55AM

The Euro....Irish currency was deadly.... The pound coin was a legend, and the A4 sized 50 pound note was similarly awesome.

dobsdave · 19-09-2007 10:56AM

As I write, the thread below this is about x-factor, so I didnt really have to look very far to see what I wanted banished from the earth.
By the way all the other reality shows are included in that too, BB comedancing or whatever etc etc etc.

Pighead · 19-09-2007 10:57AM

Degsy wrote:

Tracksuits.

But that would mean you'd be naked all the time. Pighead would uninvent the abilty to see stuff if that was the case.

mise_me_fein · 19-09-2007 10:58AM

The new range of football boots that are causing the metatarsal injury to so many footballers.

dobsdave · 19-09-2007 10:59AM

"Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs"

All right! Gigity, Gigity.

Alanthroneus · 19-09-2007 11:02AM

I would univent women rights

Pighead · 19-09-2007 11:02AM

jay_haych wrote:

pornography. a bane upon society and mans #1 addiction. yet primarily unchecked.

Somebody ban this freak.

sioda · 19-09-2007 11:03AM

Teletubbies hate them

Agamemnon · 19-09-2007 11:09AM

I'd uninvent the current French rugby team by sterilising their parents.

Gillie · 19-09-2007 11:10AM

Bertie Ahern or feck it FF altogether

jobonar · 19-09-2007 11:15AM

Bra's ftw

KTRIC · 19-09-2007 11:17AM

I'd uninvent womens clothes, so they have to walk around naked all day and we can look at their wobbly bits

Pighead · 19-09-2007 11:20AM

KTRIC wrote:

I'd univent womens clothes, so they have to walk around naked all day and we can look at their wobbly bits

They'd just wear mens clothes ya big eejit. Pighead realises women are stupid but they're not that stupid.

faceman · 19-09-2007 11:21AM

Cats-eyes. The ones that are studded on roads for visibility at night. Id stick a patent on it and charge a €1 royalty per catseye put on a road in any country.

jay_haych · 19-09-2007 11:21AM

Pighead wrote:

Somebody ban this freak.

...Amd why is that? for having an opinion that differs to your own??

Degsy · 19-09-2007 11:22AM

Pighead wrote:

But that would mean you'd be naked all the time. Pighead would uninvent the abilty to see stuff if that was the case.

I would uninvent Pigheads mother and the milkman thus uninventing Pighead.

19-09-2007 11:28AM

Uninvent this thread?:rolleyes:

Pighead · 19-09-2007 11:30AM

jay_haych wrote:

...Amd why is that? for having an opinion that differs to your own??

Exactly Limerick Boy, exactly. Lets cut to the chase here buddy, you don't really want porn uninvented. You've got a couple of nasty septic blisters on your todger at the moment after some rather excessive self love sessions over the past week.

Naturally you've blamed porn for your weeping willy. This time next week the blisters will have healed and you'll be back here apologising for your ridiculous request. Mark Pigheads words.

nobodythere · 19-09-2007 11:36AM

Plastic.

Edit: To the post above me, "they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world"
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-genius-of-the-crowd/

Mr.Plough · 19-09-2007 11:36AM

eamonn dunphy and john giles. fúcking idiots

cson · 19-09-2007 11:41AM

Hmmm, Skobies and Boy Racers are a festering disease on this countries landscape, I'd much prefer to give them the bubonic plague instead of merely uninventing them, that's just too painless. Seeing as aforementioned Skobies and Boy Racers are usually the one anyway I'd have to say I'd uninvent the wheel. As an added bonus the M-50 would become unclogged and fat chicks might lose weight from the walking they'd have to do.

Dennis the Stone · 19-09-2007 11:56AM

Louis Walsh

Siogfinsceal · 19-09-2007 11:59AM

muffin tops
and jodie marsh

19-09-2007 12:00PM

sioda wrote:

Teletubbies hate them

Teletubbies hate who?

Uninvent cigs

cson · 19-09-2007 12:04PM

Quite surprising no-one picked up on this already but anywho, I'd uninvent YORE MA then there'd be no more stinking pighead threads clogging up the forum. There for ya.

jester77 · 19-09-2007 12:10PM

have to cucumbers... evil wretched most foul tasting food known to man

and to think that Pepsi came out the Pepsi Ice Cucumber drink :eek: which incidentally contains absolutely no cucumber, which means someone invented a chemical that tastes like cucumber... this person should be uninvented!

Dudess · 19-09-2007 12:30PM

jay_haych wrote:

...Amd why is that? for having an opinion that differs to your own??

It's Pighead. I wouldn't take it seriously.

jobonar wrote:

Bra's ftw

Oh so you like the saggeh boobeh look, do you?

Degsy · 19-09-2007 12:35PM

cson wrote:

Quite surprising no-one picked up on this already but anywho, I'd uninvent YORE MA then there'd be no more stinking pighead threads clogging up the forum. There for ya.

I already said it only better so HA!

What would you uninvent?

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