misinterpented

The other thing is a few years ago i was talking to the abusers wife who thinks he is a total gent. i was shocked when she inisently told me their daughter was now locking her bedroom door my first taught was who was she locking out she only has one bro. mam and dad living in the house.

Hi Nell

In response to the above just to let you know that I got professional advice on children who are at risk and how that works. Basically if a child reports that he/she is being abused in some manner to a doctor/counsellor/teacher etc, they are obliged by law to report it to the authorities, eg: social workers and guards. If a child is deemed at risk sexually and this is reported the social services have to act upon it.

My advice and I know this is extremely difficult is to report what has happened to you and state that you believe your niece is at risk. Before talking take the name of the social worker you are speaking with, you may have to do something in writing but what they will do is visit the house, speak with the parents and speak with the child and ascertain if there is a problem. If there is a problem they will work with the parents to stop it, they don't necessarily take the child away from the home, that is a last option and one they don't want to take unless it is neccesary. If abuse is occuring and the father/your brother goes for treatment, they will help him and your niece, if he or his wife ignore it and don't co-operate with social services, their daughter or anyone else will be taken into foster care. Again, I will stress that I got professional advise on this.

If you do decide to go ahead, and judging from what you have said about your family is that the backlash will be horrific so I would also suggest that you obtain help and support first before you take these steps. You may need to take security precautions around your home, it breaks my heart to say these things to you but I feel it is very neccesary. One thing that sexual abuse does is it breaks down all boundaries and any sense of care or self esteem, very few people who have been abused know how to take proper care. I urge you to see yourself as precious cargo and take steps to care for yourself in such a manner, even though it is hard to do before you go ahead. Would your brother (the one who is a bully) attempt to assualt you if you take things further? Finally if your family are not willing to support you in favour of your brother, and I know this bits hard, but I would urge you cease all contact (that includes phone calls, letters, etc) unless they support you because they will try to undermine and hurt you, and again you are too precious for that.